


Entirely Different

by MaskHumanity



Category: Adam Driver - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Support AITAF), Adam Driver Appreciation Always, Adam Driver Smut (As Kylo Ren), Alternate Universe, Anal Play, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Bath Sex, Choking, Daddy Hux (Literally), Daddy Kink, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo is NOT a Romantic, More fluff than I intended, Multi, Potentially Triggering Sexual Depictions, Reader is not great at making friends, Romance, Sith, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The First Order Wins (Star Wars), The First Order is our Protagonist, altered timeline, comedic relief, reader is a pilot, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 117,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25035850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskHumanity/pseuds/MaskHumanity
Summary: This AU is set in the Star Wars Sequels Universe, but with A LOT of changes to the timelines and character motivation. This adaptation of Kylo Ren is heavily influenced by Adam Driver's performances in some of his other works (i.e. HBO's GIRLS) and please note that there will certainly be times where Kylo does not act like he would in the cinematic sequels. Reader is a First Order pilot assigned to Kylo's Command Shuttle. Very special relationship, not to be overlooked: Reader is Hux's daughter! Eventual Smut, please hang in there with me! It's 98% SMUT with heavy plot to set the scenes. Still a work in progress!
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Original Characters - Relationship, The First Order (Star Wars)/Reader
Comments: 277
Kudos: 215





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! I'm so thrilled to have gained a little following of you all! This is my first fanfic on this website, I'm super stoked to be here, and I'm always open to the following: Questions, Comments, Concerns, Compliments, Queries, Conundrums, Curiosities, ETC.

The craft was slowing to a stop. You and your mother waited close to the shuttle doors and picked up your bags when the spacecraft finally landed. The doors slid open and the ramp extended out from the ship automatically. You could see your father walking towards the two of you in the distance. His red hair and slight frame impossible to overlook. When he came into sight, your mother turned to the chrome finish on the craft behind you and adjusted her hair.

You took after her, your features similar and your hair deep and dark against your pale skin. Your hair had the slightest hint of auburn to it, though. The only feature similar to that of your father’s. He called to your mother first, reaching her and holding her in a brief embrace. Then, turning his eyes to you, he released her and held out a hand.

“General.” You greeted him, grasping his thin, bony fingers.

“You’re both looking well,” he remarked “how was the trip?”

Your parents exchanged niceties of the journey while you assessed your new surroundings. The Hangar Bay was void of any natural beauty. Tall ceilings and cold, unyielding metal much the general feel of The First Order. It was evident that the organization commanded many ships, which were lining the bay like portraits on a wall. You wouldn’t admit it to the General, but there was a certain beauty to it.

You found yourself so lost in the expanse of the ceiling, you hadn’t noticed your parents beginning to depart and quickly, obediently, followed. He led you down blinding white halls, groups of stormtroopers occasionally halting to salute him. You were far too well trained to act out of hand, but you found yourself rolling your eyes internally. You had graduated flight school and it was time to serve The First Order, but you had wished they had stationed you anywhere else than Starkiller base.

Had you been naïve, you may have anticipated your father to inquire of your achievements or honors following your graduation; however, you were all too familiar with his ambitions being more of topic for discussion. Your mother listened attentively to every boast and flaunt of his life here on the Starkiller. You listened as an obligation, only. Merely a façade of respect.

Which, to the best of your knowledge, was meant to be _earned_. Of course, you were expected to earn the respect of your peers, superiors, colleagues, and even your family. But respect for your father was something you learned to feign from a very early age. He called your name and you reported to his side, instinctively.

“These are your quarters. I pulled quite a few strings to get you to this part of the ship.” The General boasted before he passed his hand over the panel lock. The door slid into the wall, exposing the small living quarters. You were granted a short glance before the door closed automatically.

“Thank you, General.” You extended a hand and the two of you shook again.

“Say your goodbyes to your mother.” He stepped back and allowed you to embrace.

She mumbled some sentiment into your hair, which you hadn’t bothered to pay mind to, and the pair of them walked away. You watched as they left, walking a way down the hall before being descended upon by a dark shadow. Approaching your father was a figure cloaked in all black. He was tall, broad, hooded and masked. The man was a wave of darkness and energy. Intimidating, yet something pleasant about the way he held himself.

“Hux.” His boots halted in front of the General.

“Commander Ren,” the general seemed even more slight next to his towering countenance.

“Are your troops ready to depart?” he interrupted.

“Of course, I will join you shortly.”

The Commander stood there a moment. You couldn’t tell where he was looking, but your skin began to prickle as if he had turned his glare on you. Of course, you couldn’t tell. You’d adverted your eyes immediately and turned towards the door. The heavy, leaded footsteps stalked off in the direction opposite from which he came, and you lifted your head to face your father. Although you were sure you knew who he was the moment he came into sight, your suspicions were proven correct when Hux back tracked down the hall.

As he reached you again, he spoke. “That was Commander Kylo Ren. Unfortunately, you will become rather familiar with him soon. Your first assignment with The First Order will be piloting his shuttle.”

You had questions, which you were sure you could find elsewhere than your father. You nodded once, a stiff jerk of the head. He rejoined your mother down the hall and they departed. You waved your hand experimentally, pressing your palm to the panel, and the door opened once more. Stepping inside, you left your luggage inside the door as you explored the room. As expected, the barrack was scarcely furnished, monochromatic and dark. The restroom simple and utilitarian. There was only one purpose for this space – and it would do well enough.

The small bed was fitted with black sheets and a black matelassé comforter. You ran your fingers over the woven texture and offered some small appreciation for your father’s status. The dresser was shallow, but tall. And the restroom afforded little privacy, but the one redeeming quality was a rather large basin for bathing. Overall, you were sure the living quarters were much more accommodating than that of any other beginning class officer.

You unpacked your bags pretty quickly. Your wardrobe was limited, and the clothing mostly fitted and therefore rather condensed. You transferred each stack into a drawer and moved to your toiletries. Again, you didn’t possess many products or tools and your necessities were sorted and put away in no time.

There was another bag you packed which was filled with, what one might call, personal items. Small trinkets of little to no value, honors and cords from your achievements in school, your certificate of completion, additional boot laces, and a small plasma gun for your personal protection. You stashed it in the top drawer of the dresser.

Another bag sat by the door, which you could not remember packing. Inside you found a collection of clothing items your mother had bought that you had never worn. Unnecessary things which you had never had interest in. You placed the bag underneath your bed, not wanting to find any place for such items but also unsure of where else to put it.

There was a knock at the door. You opened it to see your father’s face.

He strode into the room and criticized the facilities.

“These will do quite nicely, won’t they? You should be rather appreciative.”

“Yes,” You answered perhaps a little too quickly. “Thank you, General. You’re very generous.”

“Your mother has boarded the departure shuttle. She’s on her way back home. I’d rather you be the pilot securing her transport.” You smiled at his compliment.

“As would I, General.”

“Your assignment will begin tomorrow morning at 06:00. You will report to training room 16. Most new recruits and officers must complete a course of offensive and defensive training before being dispatched to your area of assignment.” He explained quickly, as matter of fact, and clearly not to be questioned.

“Here is your data pad. Do you require any instruction on its use or the use of any technology in your quarters?” The pad was slim and light. He had preprogrammed the alarm for 05:00.

“No, sir. Thank you.” You offered your hand again, and the two of you shook for a final time that evening. He excused himself and you were alone in the room again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following week, the alarm was still successfully alarming.

“the time is now o-five-hundred… report at o-six-hundred… training room sixteen… forty-five minutes until anticipated departure.” The cold, computerized voice echoed through the room.

One week had passed here on Starkiller. You woke and swung your legs off the side of the bed, your feet landing on the cold durasteel floors, which aided in waking you further. You held your palm to the disarm panel on the wall. It also adjusted the lights and you retrieved a towel from the dresser. The cold durasteel under the pads of your feet was sending chills up your bare legs, which you soon rectified when you stepped into a warm curtain of water in the shower.

You left your quarters early today, leaving yourself plenty of time to navigate the ship. You were hoping to find the shuttle you were assigned to before training, but the halls seemed endless, winding and unwinding into directionless white expanse. More than once, you found yourself backtracking and being forced to correct your direction. Before long, you had run out of time to find the shuttle, so you made your way to the training rooms in Sector A.

You wriggled into a departing elevator to your left and stood among multiple stormtroopers in the confined space. You nodded to them as you stepped out on level 2. The halls in Sector A were more extensive than those below. Each training room was completely visible to the hallway, with large glass walls. There were typically a few people in each room at all times. Some would be occupied by two, likely a trainer and trainee, others small groups of four or five. Primarily stormtroopers and officers.

Room 16 had a small assembly of people already and you joined the group again. You weaved through the others as discretely as could be managed and stood a row back from the front, arms crossed in waiting. You surveyed your surroundings, as you did each morning. Trying to gauge who you may be assigned to spar with today. Each morning, training began with being separated into groups of two, randomly.

Your sparring partners were mostly female, statistically. But you were paired with two men last week. You held your own against them, just the same. Today, you were partnered with a small woman with pale pixie cut hair and dark skin. She was more inexperienced than some of your previous partners, but fast. While you dominated most of the spar, occasionally she would get a small jab in under an undefended limb and you mentally kicked yourself for it.

You made up for the last one with a hard punch to her chest, which sent her backwards, landing on her back and, evidently, knocking the wind out of her lungs. You extended a hand to her, apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to hit you so hard.” She pulled herself up with your help and wiped sweat from her forehead.

“It’s okay, I’m sure you’re taking it easier on me than you could be.” She wasn’t exactly wrong.

You smiled lopsidedly and searched for the instructor over your shoulder. After ascertaining he was out of earshot, you leaned in and whispered to her.

“That last jab hurt, keep looking for holes in my guard. You’re fast and you pack a punch. Use more of that speed in your defense and I won’t be able to attack so easily.” You returned to your defensive position.

“You must have been listening last week.” She mused.

“Yes.” You answered simply, a small smile betraying you.

The sparring continued for a few hours until the instructor called for you to stop. You had taken a few short breaks over the course of the day, during which your partner seemed too worn to approach, casually. When he dismissed you for the day, you had decided you should attempt to make a friend. You held your head high and smiled at the small woman.

“What’s your name?” You extended a towel to her and she dried the sweat from her neck.

“Jane.” She smiled up at you. You gave her your name in exchange.

“Are you headed to the mess hall? Do you want some company?” she asked.

“That sounds great. I have a quick stop I wanted to make first, can I meet you there?”

You had still wanted to stop by the shuttle.

“Yes! I need to shower after all this, anyway.” She gestured to her sweat-soaked clothing. You smirked and waved as the two of you departed the training room.

Without the time constraints of imminent training pressuring your directional capabilities, you were able to more easily navigate the bright white halls of the base. Within 15 minutes, you had found your way to the Hangar Bay. Which, unsurprisingly, was teeming with stormtroopers, officers, engineers, and some fellow pilots.

You attempted to disappear behind the wall of crafts, as you made your way towards the shuttle. You had spotted it during your arrival, simply unaware your assignment would put you there. When you had reached the shuttle, you could see that the ramp was already extended. Hesitantly, you stepped aboard, looking over your shoulder to assure no one had watched you enter. No one had, of course.

The ship was silent, the ramp was likely left down for flight inspection or return report. The interior was clean and warm. _Return reports for sure_ , you thought to yourself. The engines were still warm from recent use. You meandered up to the cockpit, where you would soon be serving The First Order. The controls were simple, well designed and the layout made for easy use.

You almost wished the controls were more expertly placed, where you would be sure to impress superiors with your knowledge, but you would make do. You ran your fingers over each button, careful not to press down on any. You committed each one to memory, quizzing yourself on their use as you passed, and proud you didn’t miss a single one. The directional controls were straightforward and sleek. You managed to allow yourself, at some point, to sit in the pilot’s chair. A transgression that would soon be addressed.

You felt a strange tug at the nape of your neck, the beginnings of a migraine, perhaps. It was warm and aggravating and… sensitive to sound. There were footsteps in the distance which were causing the area to throb. _Footsteps!_ Before you could pull yourself from the chair, the footsteps were climbing the ramp. You turned to the entrance where you found a familiar dark mass approaching. Standing and saluting as quickly and seamlessly as you could manage, you faced the Commander.

“Commander Ren.” You saluted, not meeting your reflection in his mask.

He stopped just short of three feet from you. Since you were still standing in the cockpit, he blocked your immediate exit at the top of the stairs. Were he not already inhumanly tall, the few extra feet allowed him to tower over you even more so.

“What are you doing here?” His metallic masked voice made him seem even more intimidating.

You ended your salute and met, what you were hoping to be, his eyeline.

“I’ve been assigned to pilot this shuttle. Forgive me, I was familiarizing myself with the controls.” You made sure to speak calmly, as to not betray your escalating heartbeat.

The throb tugged at the back of your head again. It had grown, likely from the shock of being caught by your immediate superior.

“Leave.” He commanded. You saluted him again and waited for him to remove the barricade that was his body from your only means of escape. He stared down at you, immobile.

You decided to wait a moment more, but you must have been staring at him expectantly.

“What?!” He growled.

You may have flinched, you must have.

“I apologize, Commander.” You walked towards him, hopeful he could come to the conclusion on his own. When you reached the bottom step, he turned his body to the side. You tried to slide by his massive frame swiftly, turning as not to face him in doing so.

The tug had become a dull burn and it radiated to encase your skull in its entirety. It felt intense and intrusive and you tried to forget about it as you descended the ramp. But you could feel the Commander’s eyes on you, even as you put more distance between yourself and the shuttle. You had considered turning back to see if he were still watching, when you felt the burn and the eyes immediately alleviate and disappear altogether.

You wanted to go hide in your quarters for the remainder of the day; hide yourself away from the embarrassment of being caught trespassing by a superior. And not just any superior, but your direct superior and Commander: Kylo Ren. You had considered hiding for a while more, but found yourself on route to the mess hall to meet Jane. What you needed most was to make sturdy connections on base.

The mess hall was large, and all manner of occupants were gathered there. Members from every rank oscillated in and out of the room, some laughing and some discussing what sounded like politics. Some seated in silence. A table of stormtroopers having a particularly boring conversation about your father. It was strange to hear people discuss him, a reminder of how high ranking he really was, but it was good to know that others found him just as smarmy as you did.

You received a tray from the line and allowed a droid to scan your data pad. You then turned your attention to the masses of tables, searching for Jane. You found her small frame on the far side of the hall, sitting at a two-seater table and looking around anxiously. She appeared not to have begun eating yet, possibly waiting on you. You waved to her, and it took her a minute to see you. But her eyes found you finally and smiled, waving back. You made your way through the crowd and sat across from her.

“Hello again!” She beamed and you noticed she had definitely bathed.

Her hair was more textured now, not stuck flat to her head. There were spots where it was still wet and darker than the rest of the pale blonde locks.

“Hello Jane,” you smiled warmly in return.

“Did you have a nice break?” She asked.

You debated, momentarily, divulging the events in the shuttle but thought better of the petty gossip when you saw your father passing closely.

“Officers.” He approached you briefly, nodded to your companion and yourself.

She shot up from her seat and saluted. “General Hux!” she squeaked.

You followed suit, less enthusiastically.

“General.” He dismissed your salutes and left.

You seated yourselves again, and she doubled over the table towards you.

“That was General Hux!” she whispered excitedly, her eyes still following him out the door.

“Can you believe it?! We’re going to see people like him all the time now!”

You scoffed, louder than you had intended.

She looked at you incredulously.

“I’m sorry, General Hux and I are all too well acquainted. I imagine that was rather exciting for you.” You smiled warmly again, trying to make a friend.

 _“Well acquainted?”_ she questioned. “You said that much too casually! How are you 'acquainted' with the General of The First Order?!”

You weren’t hoping to release the full details of your relation, but you didn’t want to lie to a potential friend, either.

“My father is a prominent officer with The First Order. I’ve met many of his colleagues and superiors.” Not even close to a lie, just omitted one small key detail.

“WOW!” her eyes wide and her mouth dropped open.

“Which isn’t something I want to be publicly disclosed. I worked very hard to get through school without his help. I don’t need colleagues and superiors alike to assume I got here because of him.” you spoke lowly.

She nodded, looking both ways before responding.

“Our secret.” _Great, we shared a secret._

Her smile was warm, however, and you told yourself she could be trusted.

“Where are you assigned?” you asked her, forking a large piece of protein from the tray and guiding it to your mouth.

“I’m a nurse. I’ll be stationed in biomedical bay 8.” She also took a bite.

 _Impressive,_ you thought.

“And you?” She asked you, swallowing her bite.

“Pilot.” you responded, examining the strange vegetation on your plate.

“Impressive!” She smiled.

“And to you, as well.” you returned the smile.

“Where are you stationed?” She also examined her fork.

“Yeah, I don’t know what that is, I’m not eating it.” You pushed her fork down for her and the two of you laughed.

“I’m stationed at a shuttle for now.” You answered her question, watching for her response.

Her face gave it away. Confusion drew her eyebrows together and she eyed you.

“Yeah. Just a shuttle pilot.” You grinned.

“Is that a result of your father?” she asked softly.

“No, it’s more of a result of defying my father.” You explained, stabbing another piece of protein. “I didn’t want to accept a position that was too high for a beginning class officer to obtain on their own. So, I took the shuttle position.”

“You’ll advance quickly, I’m sure.” She smiled again and you were grateful.

It was nice to have someone understand. Having finished all the protein on your tray and not wanting to examine the green substance further, you rose from your seat.

“I think I’m done eating.” you smirked.

“Me too!” Jane rose as well, and you discarded your trays on the line.

“Are you headed back to the rooms?” she inquired.

“No, I’m quartered in sector C.” you sheepishly grinned.

“Wow, aren’t those single rooms?” She asked.

You nodded.

“Well, I’ll be visiting you often! I have three roommates in sector A.”

You laughed and patted her shoulder.

“Well, come over for a while, I have nothing to do tonight and could use the company.”

You could tell the offer was exciting. You hadn’t personally been to the rooms in her sector, but you were sure they were less than accommodating. And as shy as Jane was, you were also sure she wasn’t thrilled about facing three strange roommates again for the remainder of her evening.

“Yes, please!” she admitted, giggling.

You walked through the halls, dipping into a shortcut through the Command Bay. You passed a large window, and both stopped to gaze out at the white expanse. The base was nestled in snowy caps and the endless blanket of cold stretched out from the window of the Command Bay. The sky was beginning to set, stars peeking through over the snow-covered land.

Yourself, the sight of stars gave you a thrill. You would soon be piloting a ship through the expanse of space, navigating effortlessly through the dark calm. You felt a sort of nostalgia for something you had not yet experienced. It felt as if the galaxies were coaxing you into orbit like you were falling into line. Destiny ahead of you. You were pulled from your fantasy by a tug on the nape of your neck again. Sharper this time. You winced and looked to your friend. Jane was turned away from the window, attention already withdrawn and watching something intently.

“I won’t have you question my methods.” You recognized your father’s high-pitched voice coming towards you.

“They’re obviously skilled at committing high treason. Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army.”

That voice, familiar as well, you turned to find the General was walking with Commander Ren. The tugging at the back of your head turned to flame and you squinted your eyes against it; against the memory of meeting him in the shuttle. The Commander was every bit as you had remembered him. Gratefully, this time, he was directing his stare upon your father. The General stepped in front of him, blocking the Commander from continuing.

“My men are _exceptionally_ trained. Programmed from _birth._ ”

This was clearly in regard to the stormtroopers, but the way he had phrased it, he could just as easily have been discussing you.

“Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid.” The Commander’s monotonous voice responded. It was less metallic than you had remembered. More human. A pang in your head persisted again and you grimaced.

“Unharmed.” _Did I think human? No, surely not._

The General squared his shoulders.

“Careful, Ren,” his voice dripped with condescension. “that your _personal_ interests not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke.”

You directed your eyes back to the Commander, anxious to hear how he would respond.

“I _want_ that map. For your sake… I suggest you get it.” If your father’s voice was condescending, the Commander’s was silken steel. It could cut you, if you ventured too close, you were sure of it.

You’d become aware of your escalating heartbeat when the Commander passed you, his attention seemingly ahead, but that same prickly feeling on your skin as if he were looking right at you. He passed and the ache in your head snapped away. While your father was still facing the opposite direction, you grabbed Jane’s arm and tried to flee. A futile attempt to evade his judgement.

“Officers!” He called.

You froze and turned more sheepishly than you had hoped, and he stared, furiously, at the two of you, lips pressed into a pale, thin line.

“Report back to your rooms, immediately!” He shouted, hands behind his back.

You turned on your heels and walked quickly to safety. Further down the hall, she turned to you.

“That was Kylo Ren. It must have been.” Her eyes wide.

“He’s… scary.” She remarked, eyes searching each side of the hall.

“He’s tall.” You responded, with a lopsided smile.

She snickered and you both kept walking.

You arrived at your quarters and she turned to you again.

“Have you met _him_ before?” You assumed who she was referring to.

“Who? Commander Ren?” You asked her plainly.

“Oh, my _gods_ , you have!” She grinned.

You passed your hand and the door opened.

“I’m assigned to be piloting his shuttle; I haven’t been introduced.” You stated simply.

“So even your shuttle position isn’t that beginner class.” She said quietly.

“Excuse me?” You spun to face her.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!” she squirmed.

“I only meant that a shuttle position could be worse. But you’re piloting the shuttle for Commander Kylo Ren! You should appreciate these advantages.”

You glared at her, reconsidering the importance of establishing connections with other officers.

“I didn’t ask for these _advantages_.” You couldn’t help but spit the last word at her.

“I’m sorry, I’m not judging you.” She finally said.

You allowed your fury to disintegrate and fall away.

“It’s okay. I have a chip on my shoulder about it.”

You smiled as warmly as you could muster.

“Was that usual, up there? The conversation between the General and the Commander?” She asked eagerly.

You pondered, yourself. “I’m not sure.”

She frowned a bit.

“Apparently Kylo Ren can be an asshole.”

Dead air for a few moments before the two of you erupted into giggles.

You spoke for a few hours. Sharing hopes and dreams and school stories. Eventually, your alarm reminded you that lights out were in a half hour and you said your goodbyes.

After she left, you pulled yourself off the bed and headed for the shower.

You allowed the water to run while you brushed your hair and collected a towel from the dresser. You faced the mirror in the restroom and began to disrobe. You pulled off your shirt, first. Satisfied that Jane hadn’t put up much of a fight this morning, and you hadn’t necessarily sweated much. You were just done unhooking your bra when the small tug at the back of your neck returned.

As quick as it had come, it was gone again. You stood there, puzzling for a moment, before undressing the rest of the way and stepping into the shower. Steam enveloped you and hot jets of water beat down at your tense shoulders. You tilted your head back, allowing the water to soak your scalp and ran your fingers through your hair. Brushing slightly by the nape of your neck, which was giving you so much trouble today.

Experimentally, you tapped it with your fingertips, daring it to flare up again. It remained dormant. You turned your attention to the soap, picking it up from the shelf, turning it in your hands, and depositing the lather to your shoulders. You ran your hands over each shoulder and down your arms. The soap was slick, allowing you to glide your hands effortlessly over your body. You had ducked your hands between your legs when the ache returned. It set your mind ablaze, burning an intrusive hole into your skull. You rinsed your hands and cleared the water from your eyes.

When you opened them again, the pain was gone.

You cut the water and wrapped a towel around your body. Perhaps you should have gone to the infirmary, repeated headaches were uncommon for you and you were, otherwise, the picture of health. But something told you that you were fine. Instead, you climbed into the bed and left the covers lying over the lower half of your body, leaving your warm shoulders and abdomen exposed to the cool air. Soon, you drifted to sleep, wrapped in darkness and mindless calm.


	2. Mind Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going into the reader's third week on base, and she has been reassigned to train with her superior. Unfortunately, she doesn't yet realize that this training will be entirely different than the training she has received up until this point. This chapter has a chilly realization, the introduction of the Force, and the scene is officially set for Kylo/Reader's acquaintance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! There was some good feedback on Chapter One, but I feel so terrible that the first few chapters are so slow. I posted Chapters Two AND Three today; hopefully, that will get the ball rolling for everyone! These upcoming chapters are Kylo heavy, and I'm not too overjoyed with the way this specific chapter turned out, but let me know what you think!

“The time is now o-five-hundred… report at o-six-hundred… training room sixteen… forty-five minutes until anticipated departure.” You had expected the cold robotic voice and it was less alarming going into your third week on base.

Training was entirely too easy and with nothing for beginning officers to do after training, your evenings were quite boring. You stalked over to the dresser, yanked out some clothes and threw them onto the bed before going to shower. You didn’t linger too long in the restroom. You brushed your hair, tied it back, and admired your athletic frame before returning to the room to get dressed. You yanked on a pair of black undergarments and a pair of tight, black pants that were constructed from a breathable material. You then bent down to put on a pair of black, ankle length socks and sturdy boots, lacing them quickly and tightly.

  
You retrieved a form fitting bra from the second drawer and maneuvered it over your head, followed by a tight, black long-sleeved shirt. Again, made of a breathable material. You afforded yourself a final glance in the restroom mirror before leaving the quarters. Your hand pressed to the panel outside, locking the room. You left even earlier that morning, hoping to arrive at the training room before the crowd.

  
While walking quickly in the halls, you passed the route that would take you to the Hangar Bay and a faint image of Commander Ren passed in and out of your thoughts. A tug at the back of your neck again - it was more urgent, this time. Spreading quickly, it felt like it was searching through your mind. You shook your head and it seemed to fall away. The ache had been coming and going for weeks now. Though it never seemed to linger long enough for you to be tempted to get it looked at.  
The training room was indeed unoccupied when you arrived, and you took the liberty of pulling a dummy to the center of the room before discharging a few quick punches to its chest. Hand to hand combat was not a requirement in flight school, but your father had commanded you take the classes. You found you were rather grateful for it, now that it was a required training for The First Order. 

  
The trainer entered the room a few minutes later. 

  
“Officer!” He called out to you.

  
“Yes, sir.” You dragged the dummy back to the side of the room. “Can I help you set up today?” 

  
He seemed impressed but shook his head.

  
“You’re too advanced. You’ll be training with your direct supervisor from this point on.” 

  
You were confused. “Sir, with all due respect, I must need more training. Perhaps my partners weren’t equal matches.” 

  
He didn’t seem to be listening as he began setting up the equipment for his day. 

  
“It’s not my choice, officer. Your superior has directed you train elsewhere. I can’t advance you further than your current abilities.” He looked ashamed to admit it.

  
“Then where am I reporting now?” You asked.

  
“I was only told to direct you to your assignment. I assume it’s the Command Shuttle.”

  
_Odd. I can’t train on a shuttle._

You waited there a few moments more before he spoke again.

  
“Officer, I’m fairly certain your training will continue at the scheduled time. You may want to hurry.” You glanced down at your data pad. He was right, you would need to leave now to make it to the Hangar Bay on time. 

  
You dismissed yourself and sprinted to the elevator. A group of stormtroopers boarded with you and you were pushed to the back of the lift. At level 1, the door slid open and none of the troopers moved. You pushed your way forward, excusing yourself on your way. Once you were free from the confines of the crowded elevator, you sprinted again.  
When you arrived at the Hangar Bay, you slowed and walked briskly to the shuttle. The ramp was extended again, and you came to the shuddering realization that you were reporting to your direct supervisor. Kylo Ren. You must have been so confused by the sudden reassignment; you hadn’t registered what the trainer told you. Your supervisor would be continuing your training. 

  
_What, the Commander, himself?_

  
You had reached the end of the ramp and stood there a moment, not sure how to bring your feet forward. But you found the will, somehow, and strode onto the ship. He wasn’t there, thankfully. You examined the areas you hadn’t gotten the chance to discover the time before. Most of the ship’s walls were constructed of durasteel, but there was a section of the far-left wall that seemed newly reconstructed out of a brighter material. You wondered what damage had caused it.   
The shuttle had seemed unaffected from the outside, so it must have been an internal damage. Which didn’t make much sense. You turned back to the door, curious to examine the exterior of the ship, when you were met with the Commander’s large, dark presence. You stopped, stood at attention, and saluted your superior. You saw your reflection in his mask, figure distorted in the shiny black metal. 

  
“Officer.” He dismissed your salute. 

  
“You’ve arrived early. Why?” You were taken aback; your mouth gaped open a bit. Typically, an early arrival was commended by superiors, not criticized. 

  
“I came straight here.” You responded, trying to keep your voice level.

  
It was dark in the shuttle and you couldn’t distinguish much from his all black attire. You couldn’t see where the hood ended and began around his mask and cloak, nor where his boots met his pants. He must have been every bit of six feet tall, you realized distantly. Perhaps even another half foot atop that. You adverted your eyes and stared at the floor of the shuttle. Thoughtlessly, you spoke again.

  
“Actually, it’s quite fortunate I’m here at all. I wasn’t made aware until this morning that my assignment had changed.”  
You peered up at him through your lashes and watched as he cocked his head. The air seemed suddenly charged with energy. You could feel anger radiating off of him like heat from an engine. You had regretted speaking at all.

  
“Is that any way to speak to your Commander?” He growled.

  
You looked down at your boots, silent.

  
“Answer me.” His voice was steel.

  
You swallowed hard. It must have been your pride.

  
“No. I apologize, Commander.”

  
“Name.” His metallic voice cut you down.

  
You gave him your name, your own voice meek and small in comparison to his.

  
He scoffed. “Surname.” He demanded, more aggravation than rage, this time.

  
“I—Knight. Officer Knight.” 

  
The General and yourself had agreed you would go by your mother’s maiden name while stationed on Starkiller. The Commander did not seem to like your answer. That same prickly feeling washed over you like he was staring daggers into your soul. You felt a little dizzy, fighting against the strange wave of energy that pulsed between the two of you. It felt like he were pulling your secrets out of you, unable to meet his glare from behind the mask.

  
“Do not lie to me.” Commander Ren threatened lowly.

  
You felt that growingly familiar tug at the back of your head again, and it shot waves of pain throughout your brain. It felt like fingers forcing their way between your scalp and skull, pulling the skin away from bone. You wrinkled your nose, fighting the urge to cry out from the sudden pain.

  
“You’re Hux’s daughter.” He stated, as a matter of fact. 

  
And just like that, the pain disappeared. The sudden lack of pain wasn’t as disorienting as the shock and realization which froze in your veins like ice. You had heard rumors that Kylo Ren was strong with The Force, but you hadn’t made the correlation before now. This thing was a Force user, a Knight of Ren, and the rumors were true; he could worm his way into your head and hear your thoughts. You felt fury spread across your cheeks like liquid fire. Your throat produced an unwilling growl. It reminded you of a cornered animal, one who knew it was outmatched and likely facing imminent death but wasn’t going down without a fight. There was a bitter, acrid taste in the back of your throat, and you swallowed hard against it. You forced your eyes to narrow on him against the ache.

  
“Did you just--?!”

  
“Yes.” He answered the question before it escaped your lips.

  
You stood there, mouth gaping, unsure if his actions or his honesty outraged you more, your mind reeled with thought after thought. He was inside your head. Or he had been. Your stomach lurched and you balled your hands into fists. You stared up into the mask of the damned creature, your eyes meeting their own reflection, and you noticed the furious glare you were directing upon him.

  
“Stay out of my head.” You spat at him through clenched teeth.

  
“No.” He answered calmly, and the tug resumed.

  
Your palms twitched and you had to fight the urge to smack him through that ridiculous helmet. Your fingernails dug into the sensitive flesh of your palms, biting and stinging and barely holding your attention long enough not to attack. You knew better than to strike him, such an action would surely be considered an attack on The First Order. But it would feel so good. You dug your nails further into your palm.

  
“Training will alleviate that.” He said calmly, turning back to the door.

  
“You’re wise not to attack me, but you’ll be permitted to work out your aggression while we train.”

  
_Get the fuck out!_

  
Your blood was boiling. He began walking down the ramp, his footsteps echoing against the steel. It was obvious he intended for you to follow, and you didn’t want to find out what he might do, if you refused to go. Perhaps a little defiantly, you crossed your arms over your chest, as if that could protect you from his mind reaching into your own.  
You strode quickly to catch up to him, arms still crossed. The pain continued to flicker around your scalp like flames. You wondered if he did this to everyone. He was silent for most of the walk. You tried to avoid thinking maliciously of the Commander, but that was easier said than done. Every single thing about him infuriated you, and the burning sensation in the back of your head certainly didn’t help his case.

  
“That hurts when you come in uninvited, you know?” you growled.

  
“It will hurt either way.” He responded, coldly.

  
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were reminded you had been experiencing this feeling for weeks, not just in the presence of the Commander, but you didn’t bring it forth, for fear he would hear you. You reached a large training room in sector C. The walls were steel and there were no windows exposing the room to the hall, as there were in Sector A. He opened the door and gestured for you to enter. The entirety of the back wall was clear glass. A large window open to the cold terrain and snowy expanse. 

You walked to that far wall and pressed your hands against the glass. It was thick and protective, you knew, but you told yourself it was a small barrier between you and the snow. You had never touched the snow, before. Some childlike part of you yearned to venture out and discover it. The Force poked at you harder, pulling you from your thoughts. You bit your lip, trying to distract your temper before you said anything you would regret.

  
You turned back, unwillingly, to face the Commander. He had discarded his cloak and his attention was on his armor, removing it carefully from his chest. The Force snapped out of your head, leaving a blank space there which ached like he’d pulled out some of you with him. You winced at the sensation and bit the inside of your lip harder. You watched as he continued to discard his armor as if he were here alone; he paid you no mind until his head jerked up in your direction.

  
“What are you looking at?” The metal dripped from that synthesized voice.

  
“I thought we were training. Why are you removing your armor?” You tried your best to add an edge to your voice.

  
A dry, humorless, laugh made its way through the synth and the towering Commander advanced on you. Without the cloak, you could more easily distinguish his real size. He was rather broad, only making his height more intimidating. In only a helmet and his clothing, he was fearsome enough to terrify you to the very chilling bone.

  
“I don’t think I’ll need it.” He said, simply.

  
He held out his left hand and something flew through the air to meet it. You flinched, taking a step back and your mouth hung open in disbelief. He had used The Force to summon a practice weapon, something that looked like a spear, from the far wall. For a moment, you glanced around yourself, panicked. Surely, he wasn’t going to fight you without a weapon to defend yourself. But before you could fret over it for too long, he tossed the spear to you.

  
“Defend yourself.” He commanded.

  
And then, like a strike of lightning, he attacked. One arm advancing to hit you, he lunged to your left. You swung the spear in time to block his attack, but he dodged your following counter. A quick step and he was behind you. You spun violently, spear level with his waist and it hit him. Well, it hadn’t hit him so much as he’d caught the weapon in his hands. He yanked it past himself and you attempted to thrust it into his side. He continued to pull it past him and grabbed a fistful of your shirt under your ribcage. He let go and took two steps away.

  
“Were I armed, you would be dead.” He tossed the spear to the ground. 

  
This combat style continued for several hours. Each spar, you felt you had progressed little and he would end the match with a hand on your shirt, proving that he had won. As if he had needed proof. After countless matches, you thought you may have been close to a victory when he swiftly punched you in the gut, fist full of your lower shirt. You doubled over, struggling to catch your breath. But he wouldn’t let you have the moment. The Commander crouched in front of you.

  
“Combat training is essential for any member of The First Order. More so for a pilot of one of my ships. You must learn to defend yourself.” His tone wasn’t necessarily attacking, but it was far from gentle.

  
“I can defend myself!” You pushed both your palms against his shoulders, lost your balance and landed hard on your backside.

  
His hand was on your shirt again, leather gloves easily finding purchase against your clothing and he pulled you into him. His entire forearm was in direct contact with your chest, his broad frame bent over you like a feral animal. Your eyes blew wide and you pushed against him wildly, meeting your own gaze in the reflection of his mask. Terror was written all over your face.

  
“Resist me.” He demanded, leaning into you on the ground.

  
His weight was enough, but the additional force he was imposing was impossible to fight against. For a few moments, you tried; but soon you felt your abdominal muscles shuddering with the effort of resisting, ultimately growing weaker under his persistent weight. You fell back under him, your back colliding with the cold floor underneath you. His helmet was centimeters from your face, and you couldn’t bear to look at it.

  
“I can’t.” You managed, breathlessly.

  
He released his hold on your shirt and stood to tower over you. You put both your palms flat to the floor on either side of your body to sit up, scrambling back away from him, in doing so. He remained close, staring down at you, but you refused to look up at him. Embarrassment hot and red on your cheeks, you stared out the large glass instead. You felt that recognizable burn return to the back of your head and shut your eyes against it. You listened to him situate the armor and wrap his cloak around his shoulders.

  
“Report here tomorrow at 06:00.”

  
And with that, he stalked out of the room. 

  
Your mind reeled; you stared out the glass wall into the snowscape, admiring the blank canvas. You struggled, willing your mind to go as blank as the sheet of snow. He must have been far away, by now, but The Force still tugged. You couldn’t dare to think of anything that had just happened with him poking around your thoughts.  
And then it was gone.

  
You kept your mind blank on the entire walk back to your quarters, your only focus on navigating the halls and monitoring your thoughts, waiting for the dark Commander to worm his way in again. You weren’t sure where safety began, and danger ended. You weren’t sure if safety were even an option. Kylo Ren had invaded your mind, beaten your body and defeated your spirit - and it wasn’t even noon.

  
You pressed your palm to the pad outside your door and felt a brief moment of relief when you slipped inside, but even the safety of your quarters seemed breached. Nowhere seemed secure. When would you be safe with your thoughts again? You stripped, leaving your clothes a trail from the door to the restroom, and sat yourself in the bathtub, letting it fill with hot water around you. When the water was over your shoulders, you cut it off and finally allowed your mind to venture where it wanted to go.   
Kylo Ren. Your mind raged against him and an endless stream of questions piled up.

  
_What was that? Some sadistic training technique? Something more? What was the extent of his use of The Force? Why was he in my head? How was I supposed to keep him out of it? Was there even a way to keep him out of it?_

  
And perhaps the most terrifying question of them all:

  
_How am I going to face him tomorrow?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!!  
> As always, let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, queries, conundrums, compliments... hate mail?  
> I'd love to hear your feedback!  
> Keep going for Chapter Three >


	3. Resistance Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's training with Kylo Ren has officially commenced, and thus all sorts of complications ensue.  
> Not least among them proving to be her trainer, himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK WARNING:  
> There are depictions of blood and adult content in this chapter.  
> Please read no further if you are uninterested in seeing such content.  
> Otherwise, enjoy!

05:00 came sooner than you had hoped. You had slept in a ball in the center of your bed all night, as if it would protect you from the intrusive mind fuck that was Kylo Ren. You waited in bed for longer than usual, unwilling to face the day or the Commander. When you finally left the comfort and safety of your sheets, you dressed slowly and took extra time to clean up the mess from the night before. When suddenly, there was a brisk knock at your door. Your heart leapt into your throat.

A small female voice called your name from the other side.

_Jane._

You palmed the pad and the door slid back.

She stood outside, face a mixture of relief and worry.

“Hey! You weren’t at training or mess hall yesterday. Where have you been?”

You realized you hadn’t even eaten yesterday, and your stomach lurched with insistent rolling growls. More so, you realized you had completely forgotten of the friendship you’d made and the fact that you hadn’t contacted her.

“I’m sorry, Jane. I forgot to tell you. Apparently, I’ve been sent to my assignment early. The trainer decided I was too advanced for the course and instructed I would be trained by my superior from now on _.”_

“Your superior? Would that mean _Kylo Ren_?” Her eyes wide once again.

You debated telling her about the day before… _no, definitely not._

“Yes, that’s the one.” Your voice was quiet.

“Oh, well keep me updated. Would you want to meet in the mess hall for lunch?” she smiled up at you.

You did your best to return a grin “Yeah, of course.”

She waved goodbye and headed in the direction of sector A. You locked your door and headed in the opposite direction towards the training room. Images of the day before flashed quickly through your head. Kylo Ren, bent over you. _“’Resist me’”_ ringing in your ears. You shoved the thoughts away, determined to keep them deep within your unsafe mind.

When you had arrived at the training room, you checked your data pad for the time. You hadn’t wanted to arrive early again, and risk being criticized for it. 05:53. It would do. You squared your shoulders, held your head tall and entered the room. He was there. No cloak, today. Fitted black pants, laced up black boots, and a padded armored shirt. His trademark helmet covering his face. You headed towards him and approached his left side.

He didn’t look up, but he acknowledged you with a monotonous “Officer Hux.”

You rolled your eyes, “ _Please_ refer to me as ‘Officer Knight.’ The General and I do not go by the same name.”

He turned to face you, his helmet reflecting your features. You were pleased to notice your expression did not reflect the anxiety racking your insides. He was quiet for a long moment. You saw some of your resolve chipping away in the reflection, making you advert your eyes. After a long pause, he spoke.

“Officer Knight. Very well. We’ll begin today with more resistance training.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you bit your lip against it. You thought you could hear a chuckle muffled by the synth in his mask.

“You’ll be working with weights for most of the morning and at the end of the day you’ll train against The Force.”

“Are you going to stay out of my head?” You asked slowly, still not looking up to face him.

“For now, perhaps.” He answered simply.

“Then how will I work against The Force?” You questioned.

Suddenly, you felt your arm being grasped by something invisible. You watched as your own arm involuntarily raised in front of you. You attempted to yank it back to your side, but it felt as though it were locked in place, like there was invisible concrete poured all around it and hardened to form a perfect cast around your bones. You flexed experimentally and saw your skin and muscles moving around the bones, which remained immobile. It made you sick to your stomach.

“Stop!” You squealed, your pleading eyes darting up to meet your reflection in the glossy mask.

“Stop it _right now!_ ” You gasped, trying to tear your arm free of the invisible grip.

Then, without hesitation, he advanced on you. You tried to back away, but your arm was held fast by the invisible Force.

“You need to learn better respect for your superior! I am your Commander, officer. And you will obey me as such!” He grabbed a small section of your hair and wrapped it around his gloved fingers. It pulled sharply against your tender scalp.

“If I want to, I could slam you against that wall or snap your neck! Do not, for a moment, think you can demand _anything_ of me!” His voice was acid.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you squeezed them shut, turning your face away from his. You felt The Force make its way up the back of your neck again and you whimpered, a single tear fell from your eye and rolled down your right cheek. He felt around in your mind for a few minutes, The Force burning its way into you. Embarrassment and fear raked your insides, turning your cheeks to reddened flame.

He released you. Your arm fell helplessly to your side and your head hung from your sore neck. The Force burn eased and disappeared altogether. The Commander walked away and positioned himself in a chair by the table. As he sat down, he retrieved a data pad from his belt and looked back up to you. You wiped the tear from your face and attempted to square your shoulders. The tension in the room didn’t soften. Your exhausted lungs fought back sobs from escaping your lips. A few short moments of silence passed before he looked back up to you.

“Weights. Start with 70 pounds.”

Hours later, you had decided that you hated weight training. Perhaps even more than you hated the trainer that put you there. He mercilessly added pound after pound with each repetition you had completed. At somewhere upwards of 100 pounds, you were sweating everywhere. Droplets rolling into your eyes, clammy hands getting slippery. Eventually, you had lost your grip on the bar and a weight dropped. It smashed into your face, splitting your lip open.

You could taste blood in your mouth as you struggled to sit the bar back down. You looked to your mentor, who was sitting in a chair by the table. He was _supposed_ to be spotting you. Which, to his credit, you discovered he had been. He sat in the chair, and although you couldn’t tell where he was looking, you knew it was right at you.

 _Great_ , _thanks._

You wriggled out from under the bar; your arms twitching and tingling with sore exhaustion.

He continued to watch you; impossible to read. You could feel the blood trickling down your lip to your chin. As calmly as you could manage, you wiped the blood from your chin and met his gaze.

“May I take a break, Commander?”

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand. You walked slowly to the restroom, determined to hold it all back until you had reached safety away from his glare. The door to the restroom slid open and you stepped in quickly. You paid close attention to your thoughts, ready to catch yourself if Kylo Ren attempted to sneak into your head again.

When the door shut, you collapsed against it; weary legs lowering your exhausted body to the floor. You wept into your hands quietly, not wanting the Commander to hear you. For some reason, while Kylo Ren enraged you, you also yearned to prove something to him. You weren’t not sure what. But you’d be damned if he could see how your body was aching or reach into your thoughts and feel the insistent throbbing of your split lip.

You pulled yourself from the floor and dried your tears. Turning your attention to the mirror, you assessed your lip. It was split a good centimeter, the tender flesh already beginning to bruise. It had bled quite a bit already but was beginning to scab, thankfully. You ran your fingertips under the faucet and dabbed your lip slowly with the cool water. That’s when you felt him, the burning sensation of The Force infiltrating your mind again.

You pushed all thought from your brain and focused on the lip. His Force fingers crept steadily over your skull and you ignored him as well as you could, bending your head over the basin and rinsing your lip with the running water. You didn’t glance in the mirror when you were done. You simply dried your mouth with the back of your hand, examined it to be sure it came back void of blood, and when it did, you left the restroom to return to training.

He removed The Force from your mind when you reentered the room. His back turned to you, he was bent over his data pad. He hadn’t moved an inch since you left. You walked slowly toward the weights, past him, and only half noticed when he turned toward you. Instead, you bent over to pick up the fallen 10 pound which had landed so furiously on your face. You felt his eyes on your back.

You ignored the sensation of his stare and placed the weight back on the bar. Then, you lowered yourself to the bench, laid back on it and resumed your repetitions.

_Impressive._

A thought that wasn’t your own wormed its way into your head. You flinched, recognizing the familiar, steely voice. Not only were you completely unprepared by the lack of the telltale Force burn, but you were completely unaware he could push thoughts into your head like that. He had certainly been able to hear yours, but to project his own was… well, just as he’d phrased it: ‘impressive.’

Or perhaps that was common for Force users. You weren’t sure. You realized, slowly, that he must have complimented you. You melted into it a bit. It made you feel warmer, somehow. Pride bloomed in your chest and pushed newfound strength into your limbs. You had finally impressed your Commander, to some extent, at least.

You repeated your set and awaited further instructions. Commander Ren was silent. You waited a few more moments before repeating the same set again. When finished, you waited once more, expecting your superior to add more weight. When he didn’t for a second time, you arched your neck back against the bench to look at him through your lashes. He was still facing you. Perhaps he had fallen asleep. You would have no way of knowing, being unable to see his face. You sat up and turned to face him.

“Come here.” He pointed a long index finger to the ground in front of him.

Not asleep. You did as he’d said, standing from the bench and smoothing your hands down the sides of your thighs. You swallowed your fear and walked to the spot he had pointed to. He was so tall that, even when seated, his head was level with your own, and you were standing at your full height.

He remained quiet for a while. It could have been seconds or minutes, you were unsure. The silence had begun to dizzy you a bit when he finally held up his gloved hand. You flinched, instinctively, waiting for him to Force grip you or command something to hurdle across the room. But nothing moved, not least among them, him. His hand remained raised and expectant.

“I-I’m not sure what you want me to- “

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Place your hand against mine and use your strength to resist.”

You did as he had instructed, hesitantly, and matched your palm to his massive hand. Your entire hand was able to fit neatly within the perimeter of his palm. His fingers seemed twice the length of your own, and the leather of his glove was warm and rough against your sensitive fingertips. You shuddered against the feeling.

Then he pushed; gently at first, and then harder. His helmet was close to your face, you couldn’t help but stare into his mask as if you might be able to see through it. You gave up quickly and focused on resisting his hand. You were meeting his strength pretty well at first, but your hand kept slipping from his. Your palm was damp with sweat and his glove was slick, offering little traction for you to consistently grip. You released your hand and let it drop to your side.

“I did not release you, officer.” His voice was cold and sharp.

“I’m sorry, I can’t keep hold.” You explained. “Do you have some chalk or a towel, perhaps, for my hand?”

He was immobile for a few moments. Then, slowly, more slowly than you would admit that you could bear, he brought his hands together. Leather met leather and he grasped his glove in one hand, pulling his right hand free from the leather confines. You found yourself falling gently towards him, anxious to see what he would reveal, curious to see if he were really as inhuman as he seemed.

His bare hand was a fleshy, pale peach and it seemed even larger than it appeared gloved. You examined it at close range - he had rough callouses which were raised on the pads of his palm, and thick, prominent veins running down the back of his hand, disappearing under the cuff of his sleeve. Your lips parted unwillingly, and you shut them back together too quickly. A small _smack_ was audible in the dead air.

“Resume.” He barked. His hand facing you once again.

You placed your hand more tentatively this time, anxious to feel his skin against your own, but the moment contact was made, he was pushing hard. You had thought you had been holding your own before, but, of course, you had been naïve. He was much stronger, his bicep and forearm expertly applying force to your exhausted limb. You failed to resist rather quickly, even with the added traction of his bare hand.

For a moment, your hands fell together simultaneously, and you thought you felt his fingers slip in between yours; a nanosecond which felt as if he were caressing your touch. But you must have been mistaken.

“Training is dismissed for the day.” He turned from you, grabbing the data pad from the table.

You had already begun to walk away when you remembered.

“What about Force training?” you asked.

You realized with some shock that a small part of yourself had been looking forward to training against The Force, curious to see what it might consist of and how he would explain its usefulness.

“You’ve passed it for the day.” He responded simply.

You drew your brows together and pouted your bottom lip a bit, not understanding. Aside from his display that morning, you hadn’t trained with The Force.

He glanced up and observed your confusion.

“Earlier, I was projecting thoughts to you during your weight training. Your mind was able to successfully block my signals.”

You recalled his voice in your mind.

_‘Impressive.’_

You shook your head, looking down at him.

“No,” you said. “I heard that.”

His head snapped up.

“What?” He asked, disbelief making its way through the synthesizer of his mask.

“What did you hear?” He demanded.

There was something else in his voice you didn’t recognize. Worry?

“‘Impressive’?” You responded quietly.

His demeanor softened, just slightly.

“Ah, well you didn’t block out _everything_ ,” He turned back to the data pad, typing quickly. “But most. And the fact that you were able to conceal a reaction from the small part you did receive is still… promising.” He mused, somewhat to himself.

“You still passed, for today.” He concluded.

Curiosity nudged at you, unable to leave well enough alone.

“What else did you ‘project’?”

He was quiet. It seemed like he might be debating something. Then, without warning, he leaned in and spoke lowly, voice all silk and no steel.

“Things you wouldn’t have been able to conceal a reaction from.”

You swallowed hard, cheeks burning. You felt a warm sensation between your legs and pressed your thighs together tightly.

“Um, training at 06:00 tomorrow, Commander?” You stammered, voice wavered in your throat.

“Unless I say otherwise, officer.” His metallic synthesized voice harsh against your ears.

It was clear you had been dismissed. You saluted the Commander and left the training room, refusing to think of him on your way back to the room. You would need to shower before you met Jane for lunch. Training with Commander Ren was much more of a struggle than training with new officers and you weren’t expecting to meet your father by the door to your quarters.

“General? To what do I owe the visit?” You shook his hand and stood at attention.

“I wanted to obtain a status repor—what’s happened to your lip?!” He had noticed the split, his voiced raised in alarm.

You held up a hand to defend against his prying eyes.

“I’m fine. I got walloped in the mouth during training this morning, that’s all.”

He raised his thin, ginger eyebrows at you. Disapproval turning down his lips to a frown.

“ _You_? I expect more from you, officer. You allowed someone to slip through your defenses? I didn’t raise you to lose fights.”

You shifted your weight, growing irritated with his lack of concern for your well-being and growing concern for your faults.

“No, it was a weight. It fell from the bar and landed,” you gestured, “on my face.”

He appeared puzzled.

“Weights? In what capacity were you lifting weights? Your group is only scheduled to train in hand to hand and basic weaponry combat. Did the trainer assess your strengths needed improving?”

“No? I’ve been training with Commander Ren. The trainer insisted I was too advanced and sent me to my assignment.”

_Why didn’t he know about this?_

“Commander Ren?” he asked, blankly.

You nodded.

He fell silent, forming some thought into words, and you wondered why it wasn’t made aware to the General of your assignment. But, of course, he would not be notified of a beginning class officer’s assignment, he would have had to ask. Which he clearly had not. But this had also meant that Commander Ren did not disclose his knowledge of your relation to the General, either. And for that, at least, you were grateful.

“Well. Ren is capable, if not insufferable. You’ll have plenty to learn from his experience in combat. Has he trained using The Force at all?”

You wavered for a moment before answering.

“Kylo Ren can use The Force?” You asked with false incredulity.

“Yes, it’s true. And he is strong with it. But should he choose to use it as a training model, pay close attention. We suspect that members of The Resistance may occupy users of The Force as well. It would be in your best interests to learn how best to defend against it.”

You nodded, pressing your lips together to form a tight line – just a whisper of a smile. He returned the same pained grin before shaking your hand and going on his way. You side-stepped into the cold air of your quarters and pulled your top over your head. The sharp ache in your biceps reminded you of training, and you gingerly removed your bra. Toeing your way out of your boots, you walked towards the restroom to reevaluate the split in your lip. It had scabbed a bit more and most of the swelling had subsided, the bruising, however, becoming more prominent. Red and purple contrasted darkly against your pale skin.

You had definitely needed a shower after training. Sweat was slick down the small of your back. Discarding your pants and pulling your underwear down over your hips, you stepped into the shower, determined to clean yourself quickly in order to make it to lunch on time. When you had finished your shower, you heard a small knock at your door. You wrapped a towel around you, tucking it under your arms and palmed the panel outside the restroom doorway. You had expected it to be either Jane or the General, and either would be fine to allow into the other room while you changed.

“One minute!” You called out. “I just need to get dressed really quickly.”

“Not a necessity, on my account.” A familiar dark voice replied.

You poked your head around the corner.

Commander Ren, a tower of darkness, stood in the middle of your bedroom.

You gasped. You were pretty sure you gasped.

“What are you doing here?!” You demanded, furiously clutching the towel around your body.

“You let me in.” He stated coolly.

He stalked closer, running his left hand over your bed,

My _bed. In_ my _bedroom. Kylo Ren._

“I didn’t know it was _you_! What are you doing here?”

“Who else were you expecting?”

“Well, not you! What are you doing here?” you demanded again.

“I had something I had wanted to attempt,” He stepped towards you. “regarding your training, of course.”

You hadn’t been breathing, again. You exhaled breathlessly and backed into the wall behind you.

“Which would be _what_ exactly?” You asked warily.

“You can’t move.” He warned and paused.

“Why not?” You asked.

He advanced on you; two strides and he had closed the space between you. His massive, broad frame blocked you from any immediate escape.

“Is this more resistance training?” You squeaked.

“Of a sort.” He replied.

He reached down to cup your face in his gloved hand, gently pushing your head back against the cold, durasteel wall. His thumb brushed your split lip, carefully, before trailing up to your forehead and pushed a single finger to the center of it. You heard his voice clearly in your mind again.

 _Tell me what you want._ The command was loud and clear in your head.

“What?” You swallowed hard.

_Say it. Or I can find out for myself._

“I don’t know what you mean.” Your heart thrummed wildly against your rib cage.

His body leaned into yours, forcing you back against the wall. He molded himself around you, his arms became bars and his body became a prison. You moved your hands in between you, desperate to push him away. He pinned one between your abdomens and grabbed your right wrist with his left hand, securing it above your head to the wall. You found yourself gasping for breath, which was met with his large gloved hand coming down on your mouth, clamping it shut.

You panicked, mind darting from one thought to the next. Surely he was here to kill you, but why? He used his thumb to pry your lips apart and gently advanced two large fingers inside your mouth. The leather slid past your teeth and landed, heavy, on your tongue. The change in sensation elicited a moan from your lips and you felt something heavy press against your thigh. You had wondered, at first, if his gun had traveled that far from his hip, until you realized the soft heat radiating from the pressure against your inner thigh.

“Oh!” You sighed breathlessly against his hand, realizing all too quickly what you could feel pressed against you.

You wriggled your hand between your bodies, and he moved ever so slightly back, to afford your curious hand some movement. Gently, you placed your hand on his lower abdomen. You felt him shudder once before he freed your other wrist from his grasp, his fingers pressed against your tongue. You took a moment to steady your breath before you slid your hands down his solid stomach, your body moving independently of your mind. His abdomen was steel, unyielding, and defined. Your mouth watered and your hands continued to search further down. You couldn’t believe how bold you were becoming as your fingertips felt it first; a defined, prominent bulge in his pants.

As you allowed your hands to grip it through the fabric, you amended yourself. Prominent wasn’t doing him justice. Massive, perhaps, was a more fitting description. You squeezed gently, measuring him with your hands. You could stack each hand _four_ times side by side before you reached the tip. In response, the Commander moaned deeply, his helmet’s synthesizer making it sound more like a wild growl. You yelped, surprised, and pulled back, whacking your head against the wall.

Finally, there was space between you. He leaned back to look down at you, but otherwise didn’t move. You looked up at him through your lashes. He looked no worse for wear, either a result of his indifference or a perk of having a helmet to hide his features. His mask, however, reflected a rather disheveled version of you. Your hair was unkempt, your eyes wide and something dark was smeared on your lip.

Your hand flew to your face and landed too abruptly on the injury. You winced and removed your hand to examine it. Yes, you were bleeding again. Just a little, but by the persistent throbbing, you could tell you had interrupted the healing process quite a bit. It must have collided, at some point, with his shoulder or helmet.

Without the constant stimulation of his hands on your body, your mind started to reel with questions. You stared up into his mask, wishing you could see his face, wondering what he looked like underneath that intimidating mask. At first, you refused to say anything until you could think of something intelligent to say. He continued to stare, expectantly, but his proximity was making it difficult for you to sort through the tangled mess of nerves and questions that had become your mind.

You decided you had to say something before he reached into your thoughts and discovered for himself.

“Was that more resistance training?” You breathed.

 _No._ Echoed in your head.

“Then what--?”

The Force was suddenly sifting through your brain, shoving the nonsensical blur of emotions and questions aside and prodding against your frontal lobe. It felt like his fingers were right behind your eyes, clawing at the sinewy tissue. As badly as you wanted to shut them against the sensation, you stared him down, fury rising in your pained chest.

“That was more an exercise of my own control.” His voice level and calm as ever.

Something vibrated between you.

_Okay, that wasn’t me._

His data pad lit up in his belt. An incoming call displayed on the screen. He retrieved the small piece of technology, glanced at the screen, and answered the call. He held up a single, gloved finger to your lips, indicating you should be quiet.

“General Hux.” He answered.

“Ren! Exactly _what_ do you think you’re doing removing an officer from training? It’s against all protocol for you to train her yourself! An unnecessary, useless waste of time! Leader Snoke will want to hear of your dalliances with inferior officers while our full attention should be on capturing the droid.”

Your father’s shrill verbal commands attacked the speaker on the device. It was clear he had been too close to the receiver in some parts, which muffled the sound a bit. You looked to Kylo Ren, who pinched your lower lip between his thumb and index finger, tugging the split gingerly.

You winced audibly and he clamped his hand down over your mouth.

“Are you telling me that it’s against protocol to train the pilot of my shuttle?” Again, his voice was steel.

“And furthermore, would you like to explain to me _why_ you know the reassignment of an inconsequential, inferior officer?”

The General protested faintly on the other end, but the Commander was relentless.

“Lastly, am I to assume that you are so incapable of locating the droid on your own that you are reliant upon my assistance? I left that to you, General. Perhaps Leader Snoke will want to hear of this, indeed.”

His retorts were quick and tore mercilessly into the General. You had never heard anyone speak to your father this way in your entire life. And it felt good. There was a growing wetness between your legs and your fingers twitched, aching to relieve the tension building between your thighs. You would wait for the Commander to leave. The Commander’s head jerked down in your direction and you realized, with abject horror, that he was still in your head. The Force fingers still sifted through your thoughts, but you supposed you had grown accustomed to the burn and forgotten. He heard you – heard you thinking about touching yourself to the thought of him.

The General was mumbling something on the other line, but you don’t think either Kylo or yourself were paying him any attention. Your breath hitched, heart threatened to leap from your chest and Kylo Ren was most certainly watching you. With a small click, he ended the call, leaving the General in mid-sentence.

“Do you want to show me?” Somehow, silk was able to drip through the synthesizer of his mask.

“Show you what?” You shrank away, suddenly all too aware that there was only a towel between your naked body and the Commander.

“I know.” He said plainly, answering your thoughts.

He curled a finger under your chin, pulling your face to his helmet. His hand was on the small of your back, then, pulling you further to him. Your body arched against him and you felt a warm wetness begin to drip down your thigh. Your mouth watered in response, eyes had just floated shut when, suddenly, he was gone.

“We’ll move your training tomorrow to 09:00.” He said coolly, turning away from you.

Your head was spinning again. If he wasn’t touching you, your mind was unable to stop asking questions. You simply watched as he moved toward the door.

_What the hell is happening here?_

“Do you understand?” He demanded.

“Uh. Yes.”

“Yes, _what_?” His voice was ice.

“Yes, Commander Ren.” You attempted not to roll your eyes.

And just like that, he left the room; his cloak was a wave of midnight behind him. You ducked your head out and looked both ways down the hall; to be sure no one had seen him leaving your quarters. All clear. Of course, he knew when to leave. You felt ridiculous to have questioned him. As he strode off, disappearing down the hall, The Force faded away from your mind.

How had you gotten yourself into this mess?

_Shit. Jane!_

You dressed as quickly as you could manage and dashed out of your room, headed for the mess hall. You knew you were late when you saw a mass of people exiting the mess hall as you neared closer. When you arrived, you searched high and low for her face. Finally, you found her, sitting by herself, piling her garbage onto her tray. You felt a pit in your stomach, feeling terrible that you had left her waiting. Instead of grabbing food of your own, you made your way toward her and plopped down in the seat across from her.

“Hi!”

She was startled.

You sighed, loudly. “I’m _so_ sorry I’m late! You have no idea how my morning had gone!”

Her eyes blew wide.

 _They did that a lot,_ you noted.

“Yes, your trainer! Kylo Ren?” she leaned into the table, whispering.

You nodded furiously.

“Though, he prefers being referred to as ‘Commander Ren,’ I learned.”

“Gods. Was he scary? Did you see his face? I’ve heard no one’s seen his face.”

You raised a brow at her, unwillingly.

“Surely that can’t be the case.” You mused.

She glanced at you quizzically for a moment. Surely someone has seen his face. At some point. You couldn’t deny you had wondered what he looked like under that mask, more so recently rather than before. By the fleshy, pinkness of his hand, you knew that he was human, but you knew nothing more; and you wanted to know so much more. You realized Jane was waiting for an answer.

“Yes, he’s scary. He’s completely intimidating.” You hid your face in your hands.

Of course, you wouldn’t dare think of telling her anything that had happened between the Commander and yourself, but you hadn’t realized how much you simply needed to talk about him. Even in some small capacity, you needed to talk about him to alleviate your heart and mind aching with the memories.

She leaned forward, even closer to you, examining your face.

_Oh, gods. What does she see?_

“What happened to your lip?!” She pointed hesitantly.

_Oh, yeah._

“Oh, my. No? Did he _do that_ to you?!” Her voice echoed through the mess hall.

You slouched into your chair as people turned to look your way.

“Shh! No, no! I dropped a weight. I’m fine!”

“You dropped a weight on your face?” she asked in disbelief.

You chuckled. “Yeah, I know.”

She laughed along with you.

Jane sat with you for a while before excusing herself. She had scheduled an observation in Med Bay 2 for this afternoon and she was excited to learn. You wished her luck and left the mess hall with her. When you had gotten back to your room, you had all but forgotten about Kylo Ren. It seemed like he was always present, to some extent, in the back of your mind. You stared at the wall outside the restroom where you had been pressed together hours earlier.

You crossed the room to sit on your bed and forced yourself to _think_ about this. Up until now, you had scarcely allowed your mind to process the events of the last three weeks. Unsure whether or not it was your fear of The Force invading your thoughts or if it were the fear of facing your own. You willed yourself to pull everything to the forepart of your mind and, just as you did with the luggage weeks before, you unpacked it before you.

At first, everything was messy, your brain jumped from one thought to the next, memories sliding in here and there, scarcely landing on any one thing long enough to process it. You attempted to sift through and organize the influx of information. Memories to one side, sensations to the other, theories queued up and questions first. An emotion that you weren’t all too familiar with began bubbling up in your chest. You think you were overwhelmed, rare for you. You held your head in your hands and forced your mind to clear.

_Okay. Deep breath. Okay. He made me feel something for him. That happened, and I can’t keep suppressing it._

You told yourself sternly.

 _Moreover, I had wanted him. If this_ is _resistance training, then I’m doing a poor job at it._

He had definitely said it was training, but if he were only training you, why was he so… invested? Clearly, he seemed to enjoy himself. A memory of your fingertips caressing the massive bulge in his –

_No, no. Questions need asked first._

What the hell kind of training tool is that? You supposed he hadn’t seemed all that affected afterwards. Maybe his bodily desires just ran away from him.

_No, that’s not it._

Kylo Ren was anything but uncontrolled. He was calculating and level; this much you were sure you knew about him, if you knew nothing else. Certainly he didn’t care for you, you knew that much, too. However, you weren’t all too sure that really mattered to you. You hadn’t been looking for a relationship. You weren’t looking for anything. He just walked in like he owned the place, but you weren’t sure if you could honestly say that mattered to you. You couldn’t honestly say that you cared whether he liked you or not. The thought seemed juvenile and useless.

_Commander Ren…_

Maybe he was just bored, but still, out of all people, why you? Maybe you’d ask. Or maybe you would just keep your mouth shut and enjoy his attentions while they were directed at you, for however little time you may have. Kylo Ren was something more. You weren’t sure exactly what he was, but he had set a bar for all men, on all planets, in all galaxies, in all times and worlds. He was one of the gods, walking among men. Master of the Knights of Ren, Commander of The First Order, and a Force user.

You checked the time on your data pad. You still had hours before lights out, but exhaustion was weighing heavily on your body and mind. You crawled to the head of your bed and burrowed under the covers, not bothering to put on night clothes. Once inside the warm cocoon of blankets, your thoughts ventured back to the Commander. His likeness was burned into your memory, the shape of his looming dark countenance.

You reached a hand down between your thighs, rubbing your clit gently through the thin fabric of your pants. Your walls contracted against nothing, aching with loneliness, and you thought of Kylo Ren. Images of his large, bare hand came to your mind. His large fingers… you tugged down the corners of your pants, shoving them past your knees. You felt your wet panties brush past your inner thigh on the way down. Then, trailing your fingers back up your thigh, you imagined the Commander’s fingers taking their place.

Soon you were rubbing small, slow circles over your clit. Your index and middle finger passing your slick folds, collecting some of the wet juices and gliding back up to your clit, circles getting faster and bolder. His voice echoed in your mind. Dark and demanding, you played it over and over again. _Resist me. Resist me. Defend yourself. Do you want to show me?_ Another pass with your fingers through your folds, driving them inside your channel, spreading them to stretch yourself out. Your wrist was snapping with every thrust, and your left hand grabbed your own breast through the fabric of your shirt, the nipple beginning to stiffen under the touch.

You came closer to climax, breath coming out ragged and thin. _Do you want to show me? Resist me. Resist me._ You thought of his hands again, the thick veins and tendons rolling under his skin, and your mouth watered, head arching back against the bed. You choked a bit as your saliva spilled toward the back of your throat.

“Kylo…” a gurgled whisper escaped your lips.

Your orgasm washed through you like winter waves. Furious and rolling; the tide ebbing in and flowing back out, it carried you away on a surreal surge of white light. Your mind went blank, exhausted muscles succumbing to the aftershocks of your climax, and small tremors shook the landscape of your body. You thought back to Kylo Ren again, your mind fixating on another memory of his voice. _Impressive_ floated through your thoughts as the waves and tremors led you gently to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!!  
> The smut has dipped a pinky toe into the water - not quite landed, but VERY close.  
> "Someimes you just need a good poetic nut."  
> As always, let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, queries, conundrums, compliments... hate mail?  
> I'd love to hear your feedback!


	4. Oral Exam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ADDITIONAL WARNING:  
> This chapter could potentially be triggering - explicit depictions of violence and sexual assault.

The alarm crashed against your eardrums and you leapt from the bed. Once disarmed, the room was silent, and it was time. You weren’t sure what to wear. You assumed it would be more Force training or potentially more, _ahem_ , ‘resistance training’… the kind without the weights, perhaps. Nonetheless, even more so, you had no idea what to expect or what to wear. So, you changed everything. A fresh pair of underwear and a new bra, tight compression pants with pockets in the sides of the legs and a tight turtleneck made of thicker, sweater material. You opted for a pair of sneakers instead of your boots, unsure if you would need to run for your life.

When you were fully redressed, you pulled a brush from the top drawer and yanked it through your hair. You furiously brushed your teeth, your split lip aching. Afterwards, you rummaged through the drawer trying to find some type of lotion or perfume. A useless endeavor, since you hadn’t owned perfume since you were ten years old. A useless endeavor anyway, you reminded yourself, because you didn’t care whether the Commander thought you smelled like vanilla or not. _Right,_ you nodded your head.

Of course, it was possible that training would be no different than it had been. But you had decided that your reaction to his behavior could shape the way things progressed from this point. You had the option of either resisting his advances or succumbing to them, and if your behavior the day before, or the actions in your bed last night, were any indication of which option you would choose, it was fairly certain you knew exactly where you stood.

You left the quarters with only enough time to make it to the training room, attempting to control as much of your day as you could possibly manage. When you arrived, you were surprised to be met with not only one tower of darkness waiting for you in the large room, but seven. All were clothed in heavy black cloaks and masks, it might have been hard for anyone to discern amongst them; that is, if their leader had been anyone aside from Kylo Ren, himself.

He towered, still, above the rest. You realized, a lump calcifying in your throat, that these must have been the Knights of Ren. Suddenly terrified, you hesitantly stepped into the room, not sure if you should be there or not. The Commander turned to you, taking a step away from the rest. All heads turned to your presence in the doorway. Seven sets of eyes stared you down from behind shielded masks, and a disgusting dizzy feeling descended upon you. One knight in the back of the room shifted, as if to get a better view.

“Dismissed.” Commander Ren ordered.

His knights dispersed like snakes, slithering around him and one another. Each of them took their organized leave from the room, every single one paying close attention to you on their way past you upon exiting. You shrank into the back wall, trying not to look, much less breathe, in their direction. Your eyes fixed, instead, on your Commander, who remained still in the middle of the room. When the last one had passed, he stood motionless at your side, his head turned in your direction. Your eyes flickered to him, seeing your reflection in his mask. Then, the knight looked back at the Commander and exited the room.

“Combat today, Officer Knight.” Commander Ren called to you from the center of the room.

You approached him slowly, not quite turning your back on the door.

“Who were they?” You asked, quietly.

He scoffed, the sound not at all hidden by his helmet’s synthesizer.

“You know exactly who they are.” His voice was chilly.

You didn’t reply. Instead, you stood a safe distance away from him and awaited further instructions.

“Say it. Who were they?” He persisted.

Aggravation shook your insides before you had a chance to register anything else. You looked up at his mask, your reflection confirmed the rising courage that you had found somewhere deep within.

“What happened yesterday? In my room?” You demanded, impressed with how cool and clear your voice had managed to come out.

His shoulders squared, his head cocked to one side.

“Excu-“

“Explain it to me, Commander. What do you think you were doing?”

You had no idea where this newfound courage came from, but soon you wished it had stayed buried wherever you had found it. His arm thrust into the air, hand clenched like he was gripping something, and the Force was there, around your throat. You flew back into the nearest wall, at least twenty feet behind. As your body flew backwards, the room spun wildly out of focus in front of your eyes. It had happened too quickly for your eyes to adjust. Your back collided hard with the wall, head cracking against the steel. Your vision blurred, dark around the edges. You may have been concussed, you weren’t sure, your skull ached terribly.

The towering Commander advanced toward you. Somewhere in your blurred peripheral vision, you could see the training room door sliding shut and the table flying through the air to form a makeshift barricade against it. You choked against the invisible Force, your hands instinctively flying toward your neck in an attempt to free your airway from the grip. With a small flick of his fingers, your wrists were pulled back to the steel. Ankles too, you realized after an attempt to kick yourself free. You were pinned to the wall, a few feet above him; he came closer, walking slowly.

He was cocky, watching you struggle against your invisible restraints, taking his time to approach you. He lingered, meandered, his footsteps collided heavy against the floor and landed too expectantly on your fuzzy eardrums. The longer your air supply was restricted, the heavier and duller sounds fell against your ears. So dull, in fact, that when he started to speak, you could hardly make out the words without intense focus. He cocked his head at you.

“Someone needs to teach you a lesson, officer.” He spat, his anger rippling through the metal of the mask.

The Force grip on your throat tightened so you were unable to pull in a breath. You convulsed against the wall, feet struggling to find purchase and incapable of finding a foothold.

“Someone needs to put you in your fucking place.”

 _“Someone.”_ You managed to choke out.

The Force released you, and you collapsed several feet to the floor. You landed lopsidedly on an ankle, it twisted under the sudden weight of your body. You cried out, falling to your knees. The Force was back on your throat, head shoved back into the wall again. He crouched in front of you, gloved hand extended to your face. The Force adjusted your chin up to face him fully.

“Apologize.” He growled.

You twisted your neck against the unseen grip of The Force. Air caught in your throat, unable to make its way out, and a small, wet noise slipped out between your tingling lips. He released you, ever so slightly; your throat had just enough leeway to speak. Instead, you chose to make matters worse. You summoned the strength and spit into his mask. A long strand of your saliva landing across the screen, and you grinned. His own hand crashed down onto your neck, crushing your windpipe in his grip. The fury in his grasp sent a warm numbness into your cheeks, your lips tingling, the lack of oxygen dizzying you. Your skull throbbed against the wall and you fought for breath under the steel of his fingers.

“Little whore!” He seethed. You could hear his labored breath through the mask.

His grip tightened around the sides, thumb digging into your jugular. You attempted to shrink away from the pain, only to be held harder in place. He took his other hand, using his large leather fingers to pry open your lips. You clenched your teeth shut against him, determined to keep him out, but his fingers dug into the split in your lip. You could feel the tender flesh tearing under his touch and gasped, your mouth opening around the pain and his fingers darted inside.

You attempted to bite him, but his fingers dug quickly into your jaw and cheek, too strong to close your mouth against him. He pried your mouth open further, your numbing lips stretched against the intrusion. His mask reflected your pathetic appearance back at you and you shut your eyes, focusing on catching a breath. Like a fish on a line, it was there and gone again. He was close to you, close enough for you to hear his breath behind the mask’s modulator.

“No. Look at me.” He demanded lowly.

You tried to spit again, a pathetic dribble spilling down his fingers and onto your chin.

“You want to spit? I’ll give you something to _fucking_ spit on.”

He stood in front of you, his grip on your throat releasing. You gasped for breath, your head bent over toward the floor. His fingers still propped open your mouth and the Force still held your wrists to the wall behind you. You hung from your invisible restraints like a prisoner. You hadn’t realized, at first, the sound of rustling fabric above you, giving him a head start. When you registered what you were hearing, your head snapped up to him, watching him struggle with the buckle on his pants.

“Nn-“ You protested, uselessly, against him; your head jerking away.

Your cheek collided with the steel wall, dizzying you again. Your blurry vision vaguely recognized the fleshy pink of skin being pulled from his trousers and you blinked furiously, shaking your head from side to side. A little drool spilled out of the corner of your lips, dripping down your chin. Your vision cleared enough for you to see his gloved hand gripping the massive length in front of you. He guided it to your mouth, not hesitating to place it on your extended tongue. His fingers dug into your jaw, which attempted to open wider to escape the sharp pain from his touch.

The head of his dick landed heavily on the tip of your tongue and a groan muffled behind his mask. Small reluctant moans spilled from your mouth before you realized that the reverberations likely felt good against his length. He dropped the weight of it against your tongue again, a loud smack heavy in the silence of the room. He slid the head gently across your tongue, giving you a taste before he thrust into your mouth, and your head struck the wall again. His cock stretched your mouth wide until your jaws felt like they would crack under the pressure. Your eyes watered, making your blurry vision now nonexistent.

He was huge and hot, his dick throbbed in your mouth. Unwillingly, your tongue wrapped against the bottom of the trespasser, mouth watered more around him, allowing him to pick up speed, fucking into your throat easily. The Force was fading from your wrists, an opportunity to squirm away was presenting itself, but when the Force fell away, you were surprised to find your hands falling toward him and not away. One hand gripped the base; unable, by a long shot, to wrap your fingers around his width completely.

The other hand grabbed his hip, pulling him further into you. He seemed surprised at first, helmet snapping down to face you. Your eyes caught his, you could feel it somehow, though you couldn’t see to confirm it. You grinned around the girth of his cock, taking him deeper into your relaxing throat. Synthesized moans fell through his mask, filling up your ears with their satisfaction. You sucked hard, your fatigued cheeks ached and throbbed from the additional punishment and you pulled your head away from his hips. You sucked the length of him, hollowed your cheeks and tasted a bit of precum slide down the back of your throat. His fingers left your mouth and twisted into your hair, pulling your head back to him so that his cock filled up your mouth again.

You took a deep breath, allowing your thrashed throat to relax, and took him deep into you. The action solicited a long, deep groan from the Commander, and pride swelled in your chest. For an endless amount of time, he clutched you to him while you strained and sputtered on his offensive length. You didn’t question it, didn’t attempt to escape, you had one motive: impressing him. After some time, you could feel his thrusts becoming erratic. His breaths and moans lacked a continuous flow, he seemed close to the edge. You looked up at his featureless mask and nodded.

He groaned and you felt his hot member throb against your tongue before shuddering and finally spilling warm, salty jets down into your throat. With your tongue depressed by his length, it made swallowing easier, the numbing substance coating your sore throat in a welcome release. Your eyes were wet, lashes stuck together and vision still blurry while he pulled himself out of your mouth, which remained gaping and used.

With the absence of his touch, you caught your breath. Your eyes squeezed tightly shut, not quite ready to look up at him. When you finally worked up the courage to do so, he had put himself together and crouched before you. Your knees ached, your throat was wrecked, and your lips felt stretched like deflated balloons. You wiped drool from your chin with the back of your hand, looking away from him. He was quiet for a moment.

“That feels better now, doesn’t it?” His voice betrayed nothing.

He seemed no worse for wear. Your throbbing lip ached against your frown.

“I’m sure you _do_ feel better.” You snapped, anger beginning to register deep in your embarrassed bones.

“Still speaking out of turn. Have you not learned your lesson?” His words were most assuredly a threat, but his tone lacked the power of one.

Instead, it came out a honeyed offer. One that you wanted to take very badly.

Just not today. “No, sir. I’ve learned my lesson.” You shook your head.

“Good girl.” The metal had been restored to the manufactured steely voice.

You looked up at him tentatively, his height dizzying your blurry eyesight.

“I’m leaving for the Finalizer this afternoon. Train by yourself for the next few days.” He spoke too casually, as if he hadn’t just fucked your mouth.

You felt your brows draw together and swallowed, flinching when you were reminded how sore your throat was.

“But, what-?” You stammered, struggling to pull yourself from the floor.

“Train well.” He left the room.


	5. Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo returns from a short stay on The Finalizer.

Over the next several days, you trained from 06:00 to 12:00 and met Jane for lunch afterwards. You usually spent a half hour in the mess hall and discussed her training and observations during your time there. You typically had little to contribute, since your days were spent alone, aside from lunch with Jane. The General had joined the Commander on The Finalizer, so your only connection on Starkiller was Jane. After lunch, you would typically wander around the Hangar Bay. You wouldn’t get in the way, only inspect from a safe distance, and observe the pilots take off and land.

On the first night, you struggled with your thoughts and memories of Kylo Ren. Every night since, you would return from the hangar bay and take a long, hot bath accompanied by long, steamy sessions of touching yourself to the memories of his warm cock sliding in and out of your wet mouth. You had cum more times to the thought of Kylo Ren in the last few days than you had in the last few years with any previous lover. You were only ashamed the first night. Every night since, the release was even more a necessity than the last.

You were reminded frequently, on a daily basis, of your time with the Commander in the training room. When you woke up and changed for the day, black and purple bruises on your knees were a reminder every morning. And at lunch, swallowing was still a bit of a struggle for the first few days. Jane realized, aside from losing your voice, you were also having some trouble swallowing solid foods and you were forced to tell her you were experiencing a sore throat and a cough, only the latter was a falsity. She had a doctor in the infirmary prescribe you an oral analgesic.

Her concern warmed your heart, and the lie that had sparked that concern made your heart heavy. After lunch on the fifth day, you walked to the hangar bay, as per usual. No one would not believe the detail in which you had memorized the route to the hangar bay. At this point, you were certain you could walk it in your sleep. When you had arrived, you were surprised to see the Command Shuttle coming in for landing. You spun quickly on your heel, putting distance between yourself and the bay as quickly as possible.

Almost immediately, however, you felt that tug at the back of your neck and knew. You weren’t sure how you knew, but you did. Kylo was looking for you. You jogged quickly to your quarters, weaving through halls of officers and Stormtroopers, attempting to be inconspicuous in your hurry. When you arrived, your head was full flame. You palmed the panel lock and jumped inside, unsure if you could hear the heavy leaded footsteps in the hall or in your mind; all you knew was you were running from them. You weren’t prepared for the imminent performance of hiding your thoughts from him, unsure how he would _not_ see how you’d been spending the time apart.

The door slid shut behind you and you basically tossed yourself into the bed. Only moments later, did the burn evaporate and the silence of your bedroom was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Your heart shuddered; the echoes shaking your core. The door slid into the wall seconds later and you sat straight up in the bed, eyes fixed on the doorway. There he was – the dark prince himself. You were breathing shakily, feeling terrified and nauseous. He seemed taller and larger than you had remembered, his cloak floating gently at his sides.

“You’re back.” You choked on the words, voice still not back to its full potential.

“Yes.” His helmeted synthetic voice was harsh.

Your head was swimming, lost somewhere between relief and building anxiety. You had been dreaming of him - fantasizing about him for nearly a week, but now that he was here, you were forced to question the events of the last time you saw him. Before now, you were able to enjoy the memory, free from consequence or judgement, but now it felt different; the memory seemed violent and his presence weighed darkly against the cloud you had once felt.

“Do you have a welcome for your Commander?” You detected a small touch of humor in his synthesized voice.

“Welcome back, Commander.” You were breathless.

You swallowed hard, your poor shredded throat ached from the action and you winced. Memory betrayed you as the ghost of his length ravaging your mouth sent a dull ache down the walls of your throat. You shuddered, unable to repress the thought. He cocked his head, such a small motion that you weren’t entirely sure if you had really seen it or if it was a figment of your imagination.

“What’s wrong with your voice.” There it was – that talent for making questions sound like demands.

“I lost it.” You said quietly, turning from him.

Anxiously, you walked to the restroom, desperate to put more distance between the two of you. You raided the cabinet for the analgesic Jane had given you. Once found, you sprayed the liquid into your mouth, the minty elixir cooling and numbing the ragged flesh of your throat. When you returned to the bedroom, he hadn’t moved. You assessed him for a moment in passing. His helmet was banged up a bit, his cloak a bit dusty, and you wondered where he’d been these last few days. In fact, you almost asked, but the ache in your throat reminded you not to talk out of turn. You tried waiting for him to speak first, but he remained quiet.

 _What are you doing here, Commander?_ Was perhaps a question you may be afforded, but your throat throbbed in response, as if it were begging you to stay quiet. You wracked your brain, trying to think of a way you could phrase a question. His silence was deafening, consuming the room, the air seeming to disappear altogether. You tried to keep your eyes on the floor, but it was useless. His presence was like gravity, and your gaze fell into orbit, eyes trailing up his figure. You allowed your eyes to focus in on the slit of his mask’s screen, attempting to distinguish where his eyes were behind it.

“How can I help you, Commander?” Your voice had a hard time getting all the words out, cracking with every other syllable.

“I came to see you.” He answered quietly, the mask hiding the words almost indiscernibly.

You sighed, throat burning against the action, and focused on your reflection in his gawdy helmet.

“I wish I could see you.” You replied.

You spoke without thinking. It was bold, you knew, but you had to take the chance of seeing the face of the man you had been masturbating to for nearly a week. He was quiet for a long moment. Uncomfortable by his wordless glare, you felt weak and crossed the room to sit on the bed. He turned as you walked, always facing you, squaring his shoulders as you sat down. You crossed your legs and tucked your feet under your thighs. Your arms crossed instinctively in your lap, praying he wouldn’t sense your anxiety, struggling to hold back the shivers which rolled down your spine when you looked at him.

“What do you think you’ll see?” He asked, the synthesizer made his voice impossibly level.

“Just you.” It came out before you could think.

He was quiet for what seemed like an eternity, that same thunderous silence crashing against your eardrums. You couldn’t tell if he was considering the request, or if he even registered it as a request at all. Perhaps all he heard was a senseless hope declared by a naïve child. You wondered, idly, how old he was. You had never questioned it before. He may very likely have been a withering, old man under that mask and robes. But the memory of his strong, smooth cock reminded you that was unlikely. You couldn’t have stopped the bloom in your belly, the slit between your legs watering with the memory of him.

“Just me.” He said, finally, pulling you from your memories.

It wasn’t exactly a question, so you remained quiet, focusing on your falling and rising breath and the persistent hum between your neglected thighs. He was quiet another long moment before raising his hands to either side of his helmet, pressing his fingers to the locks. They hissed as the snout released and he raised the helmet above his head. Your breath suddenly disappeared, nowhere to be found. He was in fact young, and startlingly beautiful. His face was long and nose angular, framed by long black locks of soft, shoulder-length hair. His eyes were a deep, sparkly hazel and slanted slightly under thick brows. His pale skin was freckled with star-like moles. His lips were full and pink, turned decidedly into a frown.

You stood there, open mouthed and gawking, lost in his eyes. He peered back at you, features stone at first before his lips parted slightly.

“You’re… a.. younger than I thought.” He couldn’t have been more than 27.

Your mouth watered at the sight of him. You didn’t care about the throb your words elicited from your shredded throat or the ache in your jaw that was left hanging open. Your eyes drank him in, committing his face to memory. His eyes didn’t betray a single emotion on his part, features as impenetrable as the mask he wore. You bit your lip, trying to compose your own features, but you had bitten the healing split and winced against the sudden sharp pain. His poise seemed to falter for a split second when his eyes darted to your lips. You weren’t all too sure you had ever found your breath, but it was certainly lost again.

“I’ve been thinking of you.” He said.

His real, unaltered voice was lovely and deep, a smooth mixture of humanity and ice. Your heart leapt into your throat at his words, and you felt a small fluttering rise in your stomach. Your mouth watered some more, threatening to drown you in your own saliva. Your hand instinctively rose to your neck as you swallowed, as gently as you could manage. Kylo Ren assessed your reaction from a distance, before his brows drew together and his eyes seemed focused on something far in the distance. You allowed your gaze to linger on his full lips while he seemed preoccupied in thought.

“Hux is coming.” He said quietly, advancing unexpectedly across the room.

You shrank away from him, eyes wide as you registered what he’d said. He turned into a tornado of midnight colored cloth as he disappeared into the small restroom and the expected knock on the door of your quarters made you yelp. You jumped from the bed, eyes back on the entryway to the dark restroom, hoping that he was hidden well enough. You swallowed hard again, your throat clawing against the contraction of the muscles. You offered a wordless apology to your healing cells.

With a final glance back at the restroom, you placed your palm to the panel lock by the door, attempting to square your body to form a barricade. The door disappeared into the wall, revealing the slight frame of the General. Unlike the Commander’s slightly disheveled appearance, your father looked no worse for wear. His uniform pristine, ginger hair slicked back into its usual style under his First Order cap, even his boots were freshly shined. He moved his way past your pitiful barricade and entered the room, his face entirely stone. Your heart thumped, terrified, in your chest so loud you were praying the General couldn’t hear it.

He stopped just a few feet into the room, turning his back on the restroom and back to you at the door. His face grave, eyebrows raised. Your sore voice was nowhere to be found, hiding somewhere inside your throat.

“How has your training gone, over the last few days?” He asked, hands folding behind his back.

“Fine.” You squeaked.

His brow furrowed. “Are you sick?” He asked.

“Yes sir.” You cleared my throat and an honest wince followed.

“Uh, anyway, we just returned from the Finalizer..” He began, attempting not to be concerned.

“How long have you been sick?” Concern was not his forte, fatherly attributes never attached to him, but this seemed to be a genuine concern.

“Just a few days.” Your poor voice.

“I can talk to Commander Ren about postponing your training, if you’d like.” He offered.

Maybe a small part of him was concerned, but you assumed it was more a boast of his authority. You attempted a smile.

“No, I feel much better. Thank you, General.” You wished he would leave.

“I insist. I’ll call him now.” The General pulled his data pad from his pocket.

“No!” Your raised voice sent rays of pain through your throat.

The last thing that needed to happen right now was for General Hux to call the Commander, who just so happened to be hiding in the restroom five feet away at this very moment. You whipped your head from side to side, violently and cleared your throat again, voice shattering as you spoke.

“No, why would you ask that of him? We don’t know each other, right?” You stammered, hand extending toward his data pad.

“The Commander knows of our relation. He figured it out weeks ago.” His eyes narrowed on your sudden outburst.

“Please don’t. I don’t think he likes me very much and I don’t want him to think less of me. If I can’t train because I’m too sick, will he think I’m too sick to pilot his shuttle?” Your voice dropped to a gurgled plea.

The General inspected your face for a moment.

“I suppose you’re right. But I expect you to go to the infirmary for that.” He jerked a finger at your neck.

“Already done, sir.”

He wavered for a moment, his feet not moving toward the door as you so desperately wanted them to. You wracked your brain. _How can I get him to leave?_ He shifted his weight, uncomfortably. Uncomfortable. The General didn’t like to discuss feelings – it made him wildly uncomfortable.

“Thank you for the concern… _dad._ I really appreciate it.” You struggled to make your smile as warm and real as you could.

You thought you heard a small chuckle from the restroom and your eyes darted to the doorway. Your father, thankfully, had cleared his throat uncomfortably, which muffled the sound. He made for the door, patting your shoulder on his way out.

“Have a good evening, officer. Thank you for the report.” He said quickly as he exited the room.

As the door whizzed shut behind him, you sighed, the hot breath burning a hole in your aching throat. You turned on your heel, whirling back to face the doorway to the restroom where Kylo was hidden. You didn’t speak but waited for him to emerge from the dark doorway. He did, helmet held in his arms. You sighed in relief again, falling back toward the bed. You pushed your weight back, feet drawing up and leaned against the wall. He strode toward my dresser, laying his helmet there and turned back to face me.

Exhausted and tired of speaking, you were quiet. You waited for him to speak, to say anything; not exactly comfortable with his presence, but not quite wanting him to leave. You leaned your head back against the wall, eyes drifting closed. You heard him move, careful footsteps sounding planned and deliberate in the near distance. You didn’t open your eyes until he was very close. And when you did, you were met with those large brown eyes staring back at you. No, not quite brown but maybe hazel. You blinked, half-expecting him to turn and leave, uncomfortable as the General was.

He didn’t. He looked down at you, eyes lost in thought.

“What are you doing here?” You had found courage somewhere in the silence.

“I said I wanted to see you.” His voice was tight.

“Why?” You asked, your voice quiet enough not to disturb your injuries.

He crossed the remaining space, laid both his large gloved hands on the bed, and leaned over you. You flinched away from him, at first, expecting him to grab you. But he hovered, eyes intently searching yours. His breath washed over your face. He smelled spicy, like fire and honey. Your mouth watered, wanting to see if he tasted similarly. You focused, instead, on your faltering breath. With his proximity, it felt like he was stealing all the air from the room.

“I don’t know. You-This is what you do to me.” He stammered, something you didn’t know he did.

Your mouth gaped, jaw dropping. The movement drew his eyes to your lips, and his head fell toward yours. You saw him swallow, the wet noise close and warm in your ears. You felt yourself floating forward, as well. He inhaled deeply, through his nose, eyes fixated on your mouth. You searched his eyes, close enough to reach out and trace the dark moles on the left side of his face. Your hand ached with wanting to do just that, it flexed at your side.

“What do I do to you?” You whispered, hoping that it sounded as fearless it felt.

He smirked, his lips turning up into a fantastic half smile, but there was no warmth there, the grin cold and dominating. There was warmth elsewhere though, wet between your thighs. You clenched, aching with wanting him. He was so close, but you didn’t dare move. You remained still, breathing in his hot breath. His lips parted, and you caught a glimpse of his tongue, glistening and pink, inside his mouth.

“You know what you do to me.” He whispered back, head falling closer to yours.

“You.” He whispered again. “Out of everyone…”

His aquiline nose brushed softly against yours, the contact sending chills down your spine. You shuddered, breath spilling from your lips, and he inhaled again, drinking you in. His tongue wandered out slightly, wetting his full bottom lip and pulling it in between his sharp teeth, biting the tender skin. Your breath hitched and his eyes darted to meet yours. He’d heard it. A smirk returned to his mouth, eyes narrowing, seductive, daring you to action.

You pressed your lips to his, harder than you had intended, both of you surprised by what little urging you needed. His full lips parted against your own, opening your mouth to his, hot breath sweet against your tongue. Spicy, just how you thought it might taste. Your tongue felt forward, wanting more, and met his own. It rolled past yours, surprisingly strong and hot. Slowly, his tongue pushed into your lip, putting direct pressure on the injury. You groaned into his mouth and he closed his lips hard onto yours in response.

His hand was on your shoulder, then, the other working its way into your hair, his frame bent considerably over you. You raised one hand to touch his face, but he gripped it tightly in one hand; your shoulder felt neglected with the sudden loss of his touch. You became putty under the curvature of his body, not quite sure if your brain had actually grasped what was happening. All at once, you went from being your own person to being an extension of Commander Kylo Ren. There was a warm, growing wetness between your legs, and you shut your thighs instinctively against it, rising to your knees on the bed.

Distantly, you heard his heavy breathing and salivated at the sound. Even more distantly, you felt the repetitive sting that was the split in your lip being nudged open with every warm, urgent kiss. He worked his fingers further into your hair; fingertips caressing your scalp. It was similar to the way The Force would slide into your head, several individual pressure points picking their way through you, but his fingers didn’t hurt like The Force did. You melted gratefully against the tender touches. The same hand felt down the back of your neck, he spread it flat and felt down your back, palm warm and smooth against your back muscles.

You were floating but aware of every touch. Your consciousness wasn’t attached to your body, your inhibitions fading quickly to nothingness. His full lips moved against yours for what could have been hours. The sensation was so overwhelming, you thoughtlessly melted into him. A small part of you remembered who was against your chest; whose lips were tasting your own; whose dark, soft hair was falling into your face. Kylo Ren’s broad shoulders had to bend to meet you. His grip on your wrist and arm wrapped around your back still holding you securely to him. As if you had wanted to be anywhere than exactly where you were.

He was slowly demanding more of you, mouth drinking you in. Using only one hand and the weight of his torso against you, you couldn’t go anywhere if you had wanted to try. You admired it, his control. It was beyond impressive; it set a new standard for the way any woman longed to be kissed. He bent his head more, dragging his wet lips and hot breath down your jaw. He planted small kisses there and trailed yet further down. Waves of energy pulsed through you, something you’d never felt before, your stomach tight and breath ragged. Every movement he made was intoxicating; irresistible. He kissed down your neck. Small, defined kisses at first, which turned to something sharper. You realized he was grazing your collarbone with his teeth.

You gasped against his hair, your free arm wrapping behind his neck. You couldn’t get enough of the dangerous touch. Anywhere you touched, you wanted more. Your thighs began to part slowly, you leaned back on the bed, falling from your knees, and pulling him down on top of you. His torso landed between your thighs. His hand laid flat against your stomach and glided up to your chest, fondling a breast through the fabric of your shirt. You moaned against his soft hair. He smelled like smoke and something clean and cool. Saltwater, maybe. He laid over you on the bed, holding his weight with his knees and forearm.

An alarm went off in his data pad and he pulled himself off of you and stood at the foot of the bed. He frowned, and as did you. Moments ago, your body was flame, extinguished as he peeled himself away from you, embers still burning under the cold surface of your skin. You had been teetering on an edge, wanting him to touch you again. You became aware of your ragged breathing and the constant throbbing between your legs. Your walls contracting against nothing, aching with blind need.

“I need to go.” He said, his voice was a little phased, breathing ragged as well.

You scrambled to your knees on the bed. Between the maddening lack of physical contact and his imminent departure, you were anything but calm. Your head was spinning, finding courage again, from some deep place you had never felt before. He picked up his helmet from the dresser and turned back to you, eyes considering your disheveled state.

“You’re leaving?” You asked, incredulous.

He raised his eyebrows. “Yes. I am.”

“But…” You gaped, cheeks burning hot red.

“We’ll train tomorrow at 09:00.”

And he was leaving again, disappearing out the door and into the hall. Gone before you had the chance to argue. You collapsed back onto the bed, furious and feeling used. You think you must have stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. Finally, after tiring of feeling pathetic, you pulled yourself from the bed and into the restroom. You filled up the tub and sank into the layers of soapy water, fingers seeking out release beneath the surface. This wasn’t the first time you had masturbated to the memory of Kylo Ren.


	6. Continued Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training progresses - as does the relationship between Kylo and our reader.

The next morning, you left your quarters at 07:45. Between being unable to sleep and being anxious to see the Commander again, you knew that you had left your room entirely too early. Only a few other officers were in the halls of Sector C at this hour, your father being one of them. You passed him quickly in the hall, a small nod of the head being the only indication you might have been acquainted. The training hall was deserted, as per usual.

When you had arrived at the room, you were only half surprised to find it occupied. Just like the day before the Commander left for the Finalizer, seven masked men occupied the room. The Knights of Ren, all lined up facing the back wall, their master walking behind them. You entered the room quietly and sat against the wall, close to the corner, hopeful that you might be able blend into your surroundings and watch without being detected.

This must have been why he pushed back your training, to train with his knights. You watched Kylo Ren survey the men, stalking the perimeter of their line, his stride long and decisive. He resembled a dangerous carnivore with his sights on a meal. The knights were stone, immobile, awaiting his instruction. Each of them brandished a signature weapon, you realized. Most had spears or blade-like weapons fixed to their backs, but none were so deadly as the master they served.

“One.” Kylo called out, bringing forth a knight from the left end of the line.

He circled the Commander for a few moments, taking careful steps at a safe distance, before striking all at once. Though he had moved before you could register the movement, Kylo had anticipated it first. His body turned lithely to the side, avoiding the attack. The knight stumbled forward, no contact to steady his decline.

“Two.” Kylo called, a second knight breaking from the formation.

He joined the spar, both knights now circling Kylo like sharks. The first knight lunged forth again, narrowly missing the Commander’s shoulder. The second knight drew his weapon, a bizarre axe-like object, and swung directly into the circle. Kylo extended a hand, the weapon stopping just short of meeting it, an invisible wall dividing the two. You could almost see The Force around him. Faintly blue, you imagined, working its way in and out of the holes in his guard.

“Three.” He called again.

A third knight joined the circle, seemingly less enthused than the rest. He almost dragged his feet toward the fight, unwilling to face the Commander. You sympathized with him. You wouldn’t want to face him either. Kylo attacked for the first time, sensing the knight’s weakness. The Force grabbed the third knight, catching him wildly off guard and threw him to the floor, its blue aura swirling around him before returning to Kylo. Your imagination must have been vivid. The first knight stood in front of him, prone on the floor, while the second knight lunged forth again, weapon swinging for Kylo’s legs.

But he jumped, evading the attack once again. Heavy boots landing with a solid thud as he spun on the second knight, snatching the weapon from his grasp, and tossing it to the other side of the room. It skidded far too close to you, and you drew your feet towards your chest, curling to a ball in the corner. You prayed you wouldn’t be seen, but a familiar tug appeared at the back of your neck and you lifted your head to see the Commander facing you, the other knights had not yet followed suit. _Shit. Shit Shit.._ You shrank, knowing he had seen you. Kylo turned his back on you, shoulders squared against his knights.

One helped the other from the ground as the second knight glanced in search of his weapon. A prickly feeling washed over you as he found you, body going stiff as he spotted you curled in the corner. Kylo’s head turned toward the knight, a blue tint from your imagination formed a wall in front of you.

“Fall in line.” He commanded.

The knight did so, turning his back on you. Kylo reached back, The Force picked the weapon from the ground and it whizzed toward the knight who brandished it. The knight plucked it from the air and, with a small glance toward you, returned to line. You saw Kylo’s shoulder’s rise, his frame broadening, back straightening out of his predatory hunch. He walked up and down the line once. Twice. Hands swayed a little too casually by his sides.

“Dismissed.” The Commander’s metallic voice resounded across the training room.

The collective of knights wavered for a moment, looking to each other. Except the last knight, he kept his eyes straight ahead, still as stone. The collective looked to their master for confirmation, and you could feel the impatience trickle over him, even from this distance. His shoulders tensed under all that black fabric and his head snapped back to the line.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” His aggravation seeped through the synthesizer.

The knights dispersed, leaving the room without seeming to notice you curled in the corner. The knight who had seen you was the last to leave the room. His head faced straight ahead, but you could feel his eyes on you. The prickly uneasiness surrounding you. You tried to focus on Kylo, a silent plea in your eyes. After the last knight departed, leaving nothing but silence behind, you stood slowly. Kylo watched you stand, his shoulders falling ever so slightly. You kept your back tight against the wall, mouth dry, unable to swallow your fear.

The Commander stared at you from across the room, his body tense and glare palpable beneath the mask. You knew you were in trouble, could feel it hanging, unspoken, in the silence. You chewed the inside of your lip, nervously. Gnawed at the small beads of dead skin which were still healing from the abuse your mouth had taken the week before. You took a hesitant step forward, waiting for a reaction. He was motionless, glaring at you beneath the mask.

Another small step, less hesitant than the last, and you watched his fingers flinch, flicker, at his side. The door to the training room closed abruptly, latching too violently for the automatic closure to have been responsible for it. You jumped, your step stilling in the air. More silence, hanging limp in the stagnant room. You buried the fear inside, bracing for another step. Nothing, he was still. You took two more steps.

A loud crash broke the silence behind you, metal against metal, you realized. You spun to watch the metal table careen across the room to slam against the door, a cordon to the outside hall. You shuddered, your throat ached at the sight. The last time he had blocked that door, you had learned a lesson. The memory struck fear in you, cold like ice. But despite that concern, anticipation built low in your belly. An ache beginning, begging to be filled. You took a few more steps until you were mere feet from the Commander.

You looked up to him, eyes screening his mask, searching the visor screen between the metal for a sign of life. Desperate to catch a glimpse of the humanity you knew existed underneath. His shoulders were squared, his large feet pointed directly at you, an indication of his attention. The intrusive ache tugged at your brain, picking at it. It threatened to pull harder but choosing not to. Choosing to leave you be. At his mercy.

“You’re _incredibly_ early.” The metal in his voice was startlingly cold, today.

“Yes.” You admitted, quietly.

“Why.”

You know how most people ask a question? How they give you a choice, whether or not to answer? The Commander didn’t ask questions. Rather, he demanded answers. It was useless to avoid answering him, he would get one either way. You had decided he would get an answer, sure, anything but an apology.

“I just couldn’t wait to train, Commander.”

A small sound escaped the mask, maybe a chuckle, you couldn’t tell. Your focus was on the growing pain in your head. The Force cradled it in fire. You clenched your teeth, excitement turned quickly to anger. Which turned just as quickly to fear. You took a half step back, away from him. Suddenly desperate for distance, but, of course, he wouldn’t afford it to you. He stepped with you, keeping the space much the same as before.

“You can’t wait for _something_ ,” He cooed, silk coming through the metal synthesizer. “But it isn’t training, is it?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, the pulse pounding against the ache. You took another step back, useless, he stepped with you. You were all too aware of The Force filtering through your thoughts. You wished you weren’t so impressed with the way he could terrify you, and, at the same time, your body would beg for him. You were amazed that, even while fearing him, you would want him to break you.

“Is that so?” He purred.

_Shit._

He lifted his hands to his helmet, locks hissed, and midnight tresses fell soft around his face. You weren’t sure why you had expected to see a smile. In reality, you were met with a scowl. Not even a cruel grin. You frowned in response, remembering the trouble you were in. He advanced, closing the space, and The Force disappeared. Relief washed over you, spilling from your grateful skull. You felt safer without his presence in your mind.

“Don’t get too relaxed.” He snapped, dropping the heavy helmet.

You flinched at the thud of metal against the floor.

“Ready to train?” He asked, beginning to circle you.

“Yes sir.” You responded, hands folding behind your back.

You enjoyed the way his fists balled at his sides, his brow furrowed, and lips twisted back against his cheek. He let out a heavy breath, eyes narrowed at you.

“Sir…” He mused, a small grin pulling at the corner of his lips.

He inhaled slowly, hands curling and uncurling beneath the thick sheath of leather. The memory of the taste of his gloved fingers assaulting your mouth made you shiver, your eyes fixed on his. He could tell, even without picking through your mind, exactly what you were thinking. He smirked, smug, and folded his own hands behind his back. You chewed at the inside of your healing lip, anxious and wanting at the same time.

“See what I do to you?” He was satisfied, eyes appreciative of your submissive stance.

“I haven’t even touched you yet.”

Your heart had stopped, jolting back to life with a steadying breath. You swallowed hard, extracting a small, reminiscent throb shuddered through your chest. He continued to circle you, nearing your right side, disappearing from your peripheral vision. His steps were silent, unsure of where he was, you felt the trickle of sweat teasing your hairline. Suddenly, you were all nerves. The anti-composure. Your leg shook, muscle vibrated under the skin, bone struggling to hold it still.

“Calm yourself.” His hot breath was at your ear, close and burning.

You sucked air in through your nose, the oxygen tunneling a hole into your chest. Cold, yet anything but refreshing. The anxiety seemed to dull in your nerves, still present, but strangled. Not for long, unfortunately. You felt his hand on your lower back, defined fingertips pressing definitively against the skin and bone. His large hand extended to wrap around your side, thumb meeting your stomach. Gods, his hands were big. Your legs hummed again, muscles tensing as if they were ready to flee. Your entire body oscillated between fight and flight.

You chose one. Your left arm swung, fast and crisp, aimed for what you hoped was his face, in your peripheral. Your middle finger, just the very tip, scraped against his nose. The smallest, most fleeting piece of flesh and the almost invisible, but tangible, sensation of purchase against his skin gave you a jolt of jovial pride. You turned, right arm guarding your front, to face him. His eyes were bewildered, body arched back to gain distance between you.

You had caught him off guard and had landed a blow. Well, most might not see it that way, but, for Kylo Ren, that was a blow. He knew it, and so did you, and that fleeting moment of pride could not have been more thrilling. If you could have, you would have chased it, but The Force was suddenly and surely holding you still. At least you were in a defensive position. He straightened, hand extended in a Force grip toward your stance. His eyes were fire, smoldering in his ghostlike features.

“Commander-“

You weren’t entirely sure you had planned to say anything to begin with, but you certainly had nothing to say now. His lips were on yours, plush and urgent, working over your mouth with fevered need. His hands encased your features, one hand on either side of your face. He pulled back, lips glistening from your combined efforts.

“That was surprising.” He commended, biting a small piece of his inner lip.

“Pleasantly so, Commander?” Your voice was dark and foreign in your throat.

He appraised you for a moment, brow quizzical and lips pursed.

“Yes, officer.” He said, finally.

You wanted to smile, desperate for a relief from the intensity of his glare.

“But could you do it again?” He leaned away, the smallest bit.

The Force was gone, no longer holding you in place. You didn’t move, nonetheless.

“That depends, Commander.” You mused, body still as stone. Not even the faintest hum in your anxiety-ridden muscles.

He cocked a brow at you. “Is that so? On what, exactly?”

You swallowed, stifling the sting from your shredded throat. There was no doubt in your mind; you were ready to be hurt again. You smirked; growing bolder and accepting what it was you wanted, steadying yourself to articulate it.

“If you want me to resist you, _Commander_ , then give me something to resist.” You spoke slowly, rolling your tongue against the words, and pleased to see his gaze had noticed.

His eyes had been fixated on your lips. When you finished speaking, his jaw dropped open and his dark eyes flickered up to meet yours. You had caught him off guard again, blissful from his reaction. His hands balled into fists once more, leather scrunching in the silence. His movements returned to him quicker than you had anticipated, hands discarding the gloves, he tossed them aside to the floor, and then he advanced on you, your arms fell to your sides, allowing him to approach.

“Hmm. Did I hear you say you _want_ to be punished?” His composure was back, dominance battling the façade of your own.

“Yes sir.” Silk dripped from your lips, tongue wet and antsy in your mouth.

You thought you saw the smallest smirk turn up his lips.

“Then get yourself in trouble, little girl.” His voice was a whisper.

A tingling wetness graced your inner thighs, forcing you to shift your focus to the persistent ache between your legs. You shifted, pressing your thighs together. His eyes glanced down to acknowledge the movement, lovely amber irises glittered with a knowing sparkle. You bit your lip, drawing his attention back to your mouth, and took a hesitant step toward him.

“Well, what would get me in the most trouble? …let’s see.” You mused, exaggerating your eyes and tapped a long fingertip against your jaw.

With a quick glance at the door, only to assure yourself that his barricade still held, you raised your right hand to his chest.

 _“Commander?”_ You laced your voice with sugar, sounding sweet and small.

He remained silent, a twitch of his brow the only indication he heard you.

“What do you want, Commander?” His brow definitely twitched; it boarded on a full raise. Likely questioning where you were going with this.

Your hand landed, flat, against the fabric of his outer robes, and you gazed up into his eyes, letting your mouth hang open a bit, lips parted.

“Hmm?” You hummed, licking your lips slowly.

His brow softened, slightly. You allowed your hand to travel down. As excited as you were that he was allowing you to touch him this way, you moved as slowly as you could muster, until you had found what you were searching for. Your hand caressed the steely bulge under the robes, the heat permeating the multiple layers of fabric. The hardness not at all hidden by the cushion of the fabric.

“Oh,” You glanced down at your hand and dragged your eyes back up the length of his chest to gaze back into his eyes. “You’re _hard._ ”

His lips parted, head fell toward you slightly, eyelids heavy.

“You’re so hard for me, Commander.” He swallowed.

“That’s… _cute._ ” You finished, your sass lingering in the air.

That did it. His hands were back on you, pulling your chest to him, crushing your frame into his. You nearly disappeared, blissfully melting into him.

“You think.. you can.. talk… like _that_ … to me?” He growled between strangled breaths and heavy kisses against any piece of flesh he could find.

“You little _slut_.” He grabbed a fistful of your hair in his left hand, wrenching your head back and exposing your neck to him.

His teeth grazed at your jugular, threatening to break the skin.

“Fucking _whore_.” He whispered against your throat.

“You would fuck _anyone_ wouldn’t you, bitch?”

These words, under any other context, would outrage you. But coming from his lips, landing against your tender, flaming skin - It ignited a deep, warm bloom between your legs. One that you would not allow to go unacknowledged. You waited for his head to tilt up, just a bit, until his ear was close to your lips. You nuzzled past his hair, your bottom lip landing gently against the lobe of his left ear.

“Only _you, Commander_.”

His body went immobile, breath catching. His hand circled your throat gently, the evidence of his arousal pressed even more insistently against your core. He pulled you to his face, eyes boring into yours.

“Again.” He demanded, voice low and hostile.

“What was that, sir?” You played dumb, chewing your lip.

He shook your throat, the tendons and veins rolling together in his painful grasp. Your eyes squeezed shut as you winced in pain.

“ _Again_.” He roared.

“I’m only a whore for _you,_ Commander.” You searched his eyes.

“ _Yours._ ” You turned your head timidly in his grip and gently placed your lips against his thumb.

His eyes were raging like a wildfire. He pushed his thumb between your parted lips, releasing a long shudder when you accepted the intrusion and sucked gently at his skin. Your subservience lasted seconds until you bit the flesh gently, teeth grazing him carefully. He bit his own lip, the rest of the world fell away from his sight. It was only the two of you in a heated non-embrace, his thumb depressing your wandering tongue. His eyes raked down your neck and landed, ravenous, on your modest shirt. He glanced, quickly, at his own wardrobe, considering something.

You had begun to pout at the loss of his complete attention when he looked back to you, eyes silently pleading. Only for a moment, however. All at once, without warning, his hand retreated from your mouth and gripped the fabric at the front of your chest. He pulled it sharply toward him, his grasp on your waist held you at a distance as the shirt ripped open in front of him. Your open mouth gaped further as you stared down at your now revealed chest. Your lacy bra peeked out through the shreds of material that was once your shirt.

“Ugh! My shirt!” You whined, briefly, before your eyes were back on his.

His gaze was enamored, to say the least. Eyes rested hungrily on your exposed chest, hand hovering over your left breast as if he were afraid to touch you. You watched him swallow, eyes wide like a boy. You could feel your cheeks blush as he wet his lower lip with his tongue, staring at you like a magnificent prize he hadn’t expected to win. Now, it was there before him, and he had no idea how to go about claiming it.

You stepped forward into his grasp, the warm flesh of his hand landed against your bosom. He could distinguish the soft lace from the ever-softer plump of your milky skin. You watched as his cheeks flushed with the same ruddy pink that graced your own; tender and beloved for a brief moment before desire kicked back in. His eyes went dark, teeth caught his lip and held it captive. His grasp on your breast did the same, claiming your flesh and kneading it between his long, strong fingers.

A small moan fell off your parted lips, drawing his attention back to your eyes. Your gaze locked with his for a millisecond before your lips crashed together. Neither of you were sure who had leaned in first, there was only the fierce connection of flesh and lips. You’re fingers felt up into his hair at the back of his neck, soft and silky beneath the calloused pads of your fingertips. His hand rolled the flesh of your breast between you, struggling to maneuver between the proximity of your bodies, yet his other hand clutched you closer to him. His weight fell against you sharply, knocking you down.

The two of you fell apart as he straddled your waist on the floor, his knees knelt on either side of your hips. He bent to kiss you again, both his hands roamed over your chest, fingertips found your hardened nipples through the thin, shredded fabric. He teased them as you moaned appreciatively into his mouth. You felt him moan back, unable to hear it from the thud of your heartbeat in your flooded ears. His right hand began to wander lower, leaving a hot trail from your abdomen to your left hip. Before you could register the movement, his fingertips were dipping beneath the waistline of your pants. You squirmed as you felt his long fingers brush the damp undergarments covering your center.

“You’re soaked.” He murmured against your lips, breath spilling into your mouth.

You squirmed again, bucking your hips to seek his touch. While Kylo was appreciative of your fervor, he held your hip firmly to the floor. His desire to control you was stronger than his desire for you, only maddening your clouded brain more. You could feel his hazy blue aura turn to something more akin to a purple, wondering idly if you were going insane, as his finger pulled you away from the distraction. His index finger applied expert pressure to your stiff clit through the damp fabric clinging to your folds. You gasped, walls clenching, and dug your fingernails into his flesh.

“Please..” You whined into him, the plea sending his eyes straight to yours.

The intensity of his glare sobered you for a moment, a good dose of fear rising in your breathless chest.

“Good girls get rewarded..” He teased, a fingertip sliding up and down your lips.

You bucked your hips again, futile, his weight pinned you to the floor. His face was centimeters from yours. You bucked your hips again, desperate to gain some friction from his fingertips. You were met with another forceful pin.

“Ah, ah..” He chided, teasing your lips with the ghost of his own. “Bad girls get punished.”

You saw red, grabbing his lip with your teeth. You bit into the pillowy flesh until you tasted blood, withdrawing, and gauging his reaction. His eyes were wide, pupils gone black, a thorough jaw drop permanently stuck to his face. You fought with yourself to hold the anxiety at bay, wriggling an arm between your bodies to press your hand against his throbbing bulge. He allowed you, this time, erection flexing under your touch.

“Reward me, punish me, I don’t care. Just _touch_ me.” You whined, fingers wrapping around his covered length.

He was still for a few moments, eyes fluttering closed. He looked almost peaceful, almost vulnerable. But you didn’t know the turmoil beneath the surface, the fragments of his control practically vibrating with the effort of holding himself together. He was lovely, cock twitching under your soft touches. You wanted to feel him inside you, your wet walls clenched close to his fingertips.

His eyes drifted open, slowly, reins tight on his control once more. Without warning, his finger rested roughly on your clit again, causing you to jump back and grip him tighter. He moaned, despite himself, and the sound flooded your eager ears. You were drunk off the vibrations of his baritone spilling over your parted lips, your fingers sought the hem line of his trousers and his fingers trailed heavily past your slick folds.

“You want me to touch you?” He asked, seemingly wanting your honest answer.

“Yes.” You breathed against him, fingertips dipping below the surface of his pants.

To your shock, he pulled back, just a little. His eyes held you with his own, assessing your frustration and heartbreak. Two of his large fingers tunneled into you, excavating a hot hole into your core. Your back arched against the floor, mouth formed a small “o” as your eyes rolled back into your head. Your walls clenched around his fingers, drawing him deeper into you. A small, strangled gasp escaped your lips, followed by labored breath.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” Kylo hissed, his fingers curling and scissoring inside you.

You clutched his arm, admiring the roll of his muscles as he curled in and out of you.

“Has anyone touched you like this?” His voice was barely above a whisper, torn longing behind his words.

You wondered, trying to gain some clarity from the haze of his ministrations, what he wanted to hear. Your eyes focused on his, and he seemed to be pleading with you. His fingers drove deeper, and his thumb made a quick circle over your throbbing clit, eliciting an answer.

“No!” You squeaked.

He spun away from you, your mind and body were left feeling fuzzy and cold from his absence, rejection beginning to register and set in. He rolled to his knees and collected his gloves from the floor in a frenzy, not looking back at you. You scrambled to your knees, which buckled, threatening to drop your weight from under you. He stalked where he’d dropped his helmet, again not looking back. Your head swam and you felt sick. His sudden disinterest had hurt you deeply. What had you done wrong?

“Train with me tonight at 23:00.” He said, picking up the helmet from the floor.

Relief washed over you, still a little nausea remained, prodding at the back of your throat. You cleared it, struggling to find words.

“B-but lights out are at 22:00. How will I get into the training room?”

“We aren’t meeting in the training room.” He pulled his data pad from his belt and typed something.

“Meet me in my quarters. C10. 23:00.” He barked before turning towards the barricade he’d made at the door. The table screeched away, fixing itself upright.

Your heart fluttered, “B-But, Kylo!” You protested, following him towards the door.

He spun around wildly, glaring and evidently furious.

“You know better than that. It’s ‘Commander,’ right pet?”

He replaced the helmet, lowering it over his head and spun out of the room. You shrank away from the door, heart thrumming loudly in your ribcage. _Meeting in his quarters?_ Were you even going to pretend you were anything other than thrilled? You paced for a while before leaving the training room. Your head was spinning, your heart weak in your chest. You needed a long bath and a nap before you ventured into this. _Yes. I need to relax._ As you retreated through the halls towards your quarters, you did just that, setting an alarm for 22:00 so that you wouldn’t be late. Only vaguely aware of your torn open shirt before remembering all at once and pulling it closed before passing anyone in the halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a short chapter - let me know if you all have any thoughts on it. I wasn't entirely too happy with the way it ended up, I did plan on adding more to it this week, but couldn't find a direction I wanted to steer it in.


	7. Lights Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I posted a little earlier than anticipated!!   
> Warning, this chapter is essentially 100% SMUT.  
> If you aren't here for that... well.  
> What are you doing here?

At 22:50, you walked out of your quarters and into the deserted hallway. The overhead lights were off, hence ‘lights out,’ but there were dim guide lights along the bottom of the hallway walls, likely to aid in the event of an emergency. You made a left turn and followed the hall to the very end, heading directly for the elevator. He was on the first level, so you rode the elevator down and looked both ways before creeping off silently into the abandoned hall.

The even numbers were on the right side of the halls and you kept close to the wall while searching for C10. You realized, as you neared it, that his room must have been almost directly below your own. When you reached his door, you wiped your clammy palms against your thighs and stood there for a moment. You must have checked the number over ten times, certainly not about to knock on the wrong door after lights out. Eventually, you found the courage and lifted your hand to the metal, but before you had a chance to knock, it whizzed open, revealing Kylo Ren on the other side.

“Oh! Hi.” you waved a shaking hand.

He grabbed your arm and pulled you forcefully into the room. After your initial shock of seeing him again, you looked directly past him upon entry. His quarters were not quite what you had expected. Of course, you had anticipated the durasteel walls and floors, but beyond that, it was actually _decorated._ His bed was positioned against the far wall; surprisingly large and round, as opposed to the standard rectangular bed. The sheets were white and his covers a cloud of dark green. He had so many pillows, of all shapes and sizes. It was the most inviting bed you’d ever seen. Across the room, there was open shelving which housed his folded clothing. Odd that he kept it all out in the open like that. Through an open archway, you saw that he had a large office. The lights were off, but you could make out a desk and more shelving. He stood back against the far wall and watched you examine his bedroom from a distance.

“This is nice.” You said quietly, after a time.

He mused for a moment, “It’s perfectly adequate.”

You took another long moment, then, to look at him. His helmet and armor were nowhere to be seen; he was dressed in loose black pants and a tight black T-shirt. His casual attire was, without a doubt, the sexiest you had ever seen him. His features were impenetrable stone, but there was a softness to him. What a lovely, beautiful man. His bare arms were thick and muscular, and your eyes trailed over them down to his bare hands. You swallowed and shifted, then, forcing your eyes to look somewhere else. This was the most skin you had ever seen of Kylo Ren. The most skin you think anyone had ever seen of Kylo Ren.

He eyed you, himself, seemingly drinking you in from a safe distance. You were suddenly aware of the prickly feeling that rose on the back of your neck and your arms, gooseflesh warning you of the imminent attack of a predator nearby. He opened his mouth, as if he were going to speak, and shut it again. Apparently unable to find the right words. You looked down at your feet, unsure why you were there, but clearly a mixture of thrilled and terrified to have been there, nonetheless.

“I wasn’t sure if you would come.” He said quietly, after what seemed like too long.

Your eyes snapped back to meet his, wide in your skull.

“You told me to.” You answered without thinking, brows furrowed together.

His face registered the comment, features seeming slightly taken aback and lips parting in answer before shutting his lips tight once more. Another short silence.

“You will report to the shuttle in the morning so that you can begin your assignment.”

You smiled before you could help it, excitement not easily contained.

“Thank you, sir!”

You offered your hand for him to shake, but he glanced to the side, clearly agitated.

“I’m sorry.” You offered quickly.

His eyes flickered back to yours. “Good girl.”

His voice was softer now, something unspoken lingering in the air between you.

“You’re going to your assignment, but you will still train with me.”

Your brows drew together again, all questions and confusion.

“Why do I need more training? I’m just your pilot.”

His eyes were soft, understanding even. But there was a hardness about him too, something about his hold on your gaze told you to turn and run, for fear of being devoured. Another part of you, a dark part which had rarely seen the light of day, secretly hoped he was about to restrain you to his bed and never let you go. You swallowed thickly, an increasingly larger portion of you hoping for the latter.

“Not that kind of training.” He looked hungry – positively starved.

You wanted to hear him say exactly what he wanted – you needed him to clarify, but terror held you in place. You attempted to slow your escalating breath _._

_I had wanted this. Exactly this. I just wanted him, and I didn’t care about the consequences. Right? That’s what I wanted?_

He looked at you, curiously.

“Say yes.” He purred.

You scoffed, realizing now that he had been in your head, your sensitive nerves now growing accustomed to the intrusion.

“Like I have a choice?” You quipped, your arms crossing defensively in front of you.

He cocked an eyebrow and straightened his back against the wall.

“Yes, you have a choice. I’m not interested in making you do anything that you don’t want to do.”

That surprised you. You looked away from him and back to the bed. _How many girls have been here?_ You wondered. When you looked back to him, his eyes were on his feet. He watched them shuffle his own weight back and forth a few times, seemingly innocent and childlike for those few moments. You committed it to memory before feeling him tug harder at your tired brain. His eyes met yours, narrowed up at you through his lashes, but he made no attempt to change his position. His eyeline meeting yours was enough on its own to mold you into submission.

“So… training?” You squeaked, voice lacking any volume or authority.

“Mhm.” He responded, eyes losing some of their ferocity and going a bit gentler as he appraised you across him.

“So I just come here and… fuck you? That’s my training from here on out?” You couldn’t find a better way to thread the words together, just as you couldn’t keep the disgust from dripping off your tongue as you said them.

He went straight and rigid in a heartbeat, a look kindred to offended fell over his lovely dark features.

“No,” He corrected, obviously quicker than he had meant to.

“I only want you here if you want to be here.”

You cocked a brow at him this time, feeling the Force fall away from your turbulent thoughts.

“I know you want me; I’ve seen it in your mind. But I’ve also seen what you want… a relationship. And I can’t give you those things. So… there must be ground rules.”

He seemed gentler now, you hesitantly uncrossed your arms.

“What does that mean? Would we be together?”

He pondered for a moment, hope swelled up in your chest, despite your desperate plea for it not to. You couldn’t grow attached, especially not now. Not right now, where this was all so fresh and too soon. He looked you up and down, eyes narrowing and widening when his glare glossed over different parts of your body. You could feel the pleading in your eyes, silently begging him to want you the way you wanted him. Another, perhaps more rational, part of you was sure he was gearing up to run for the hills. Discard you like space junk and toss you aside like you were nothing to him. But, to your surprise-

“If you choose to enter into this, I suppose. I’m not sure if I could promise you anything more. And it certainly cannot be divulged to anyone.”

“Well, obviously.” You snorted, tight reins on the joy that had overcome you with his answer.

He searched your eyes.

“So.. it’s that simple? We spend time together when we want to? We’re free to see other people, too?”

 _“No.”_ he answered loudly, anger clear and unmistakable in his baritone. “You will see me _only._ ”

His eyes narrowed at you again. It wasn’t exactly an issue on your part, but the lack of a choice in the matter was slightly irritating.

“Okay.” You answered slowly. “How about The Force? No Force fucking my head, right?”

He grinned, his eyes suddenly lighting up and a genuine laugh escaped his lips. _Gods. That’s beautiful._ He laughed for a few moments more; his smile was contagious, making you smile, too. His teeth were long, and his eyes crinkled around the sides. Things you had never seen before. Things you weren’t entirely sure anyone had ever seen before.

“’Force fucking,’” he repeated, chuckling again. “I like that!” His grin was slowly turning to a warm smile, churning your insides.

You did want this. You did. But you wanted to know everything. You weren’t going to walk into this lightly. Not without plenty of questions and assurance.

“So?” You asked again.

His smile disappeared, the blank stare you knew all too well returning.

“I won’t make any promises.”

You sighed. You weren’t going to get much out of him this way. The two of you were silent for a few minutes. The tension in the room was thick, the silence deafening. He stepped closer to you, slow and steady, and extended his hand. You took it carefully. His bare hand was warm and rough against your own; he wrapped his elegant fingers around your wrist and drew you closer to his body, lifting your hand to his chest, and let it rest there. You could feel his breathing gently rising and falling underneath your hand and took an instinctive half step forward into him.

“Say yes.” A whispered plea spilled from his plush lips.

You searched his hazel eyes, he opened his arms and embraced you, one hand smoothing the hair on the back of your head. Your heart was thumping loudly, you could hear it reverberating off his solid chest. It was a warm moment between the two of you. Your mind flickered back and forth from thought to thought, until he pulled away the smallest bit, looking down at you.

You slid your hand up his chest, caressing his neck and working your fingers into his hair. His hand was on your chin, then, lifting your face to his. He was incredibly tall, and your neck had to stretch very far back to look at him at this close proximity. His head was bent considerably over yours, eyes boring down into your soul. Your mouth watered and lips parted in response. He moved his fingertips to your lip, the split tingled slightly at his touch, mostly healed but still a reminiscent shudder rolled through your chest.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

You shook your head from side to side, slowly.

“No. See?” You bit the area gently, to show him.

He inhaled sharply, not quite a gasp. The tone of the moment changed immediately. His lips came crashing down onto your own and his hands searched down your back, resting on your hips, he dug his fingers into the flesh there and pulled you even tighter to his chest. You exhaled, ragged, against his lips and he lifted his hands up under your shirt, running his fingertips up and down your trembling sides, sending goosebumps down your spine. You grabbed fistfuls of his hair and tugged gently at his scalp, in response, he flicked out his tongue and ran it over your parted lips. He tasted so sweet, you felt yourself grow wet between your legs. You tugged harder, scraping your nails against his scalp. He groaned into your mouth, tongue curling around the healing lip. Too quickly, he pulled away, pupils like saucers in his skull. You gaped, watching his draw ragged breath.

“Naughty girl, careful with my hair.” He smirked.

Your heart was wild in your chest, building arousal making you bold. You bit your lip, pleased to see his eyes travel directly to it. You made a show of it, drawing the injury into your mouth, nibbling the healing flesh. He fell toward you, clearly enamored. It was a sight to be seen – Kylo Ren completely captivated by the little show of your teeth and tongue. His mouth glistened in the dim light, wet with wanting to touch you until you couldn’t stand much more. Your body broke for him, fingernails dug into his scalp as you melted beneath his touch.

 _Fuck me, Kylo Ren_.

He pulled back.

“What the-?!” he stuttered.

Your first instinct was worry. Had you done something wrong?

He stared down at you, bewildered and wide eyed.

“I heard you.” He breathed. “Did you just project? How did you do that? Can you do it again?” He took your face in his hands.

Your mouth just hung open, dumbstruck silent. You looked back at him, confused as to what you’d done and how you could have done so.

“There’s something inside you…” His eyes searched yours, hot breath waving down over your face.

You could feel the wetness drip toward your thigh, the apparent awe in his features was simply not enough to divert your attention from the touch you so desperately craved. You weren’t sure how you did it before but tried a second time. Willing your thoughts to reach him, pushing the words into his headspace.

_Could you be inside me?_

“ _Fuck_. Yes.” He growled and bent down to you.

Something about his control seemed to come unhinged as he bit the soft flesh of your neck like bread, his teeth sinking into the tissue nearly enough to break skin. Something about the immediate jolt of pain was, at the same time entirely too much and not nearly enough. You moaned, melting into him, your body molding itself to his. His arms were tight around you; steel cables holding you in place against the stone of his chest. His hands roamed down your backside, grabbing your ass. He rolled the muscles under his strong fingertips for a few moments before he secured his fingers under your ass cheeks and lifted you. You didn’t even have to jump; he lifted your weight with such ease. You locked your ankles together loosely behind him as he walked to the bed.

Before you could catch a breath, your body was airborne; Kylo tossed you onto the massive fluffy mattress and you bounced among the duvet and pillows. You wriggled into the center of the bed and propped yourself up on your elbows. He tore off your shoes and socks while you slipped your thumbs into the waistband of your pants, shoving them down your hips and he aided you in discarding the pant legs away from your heated skin. You sat up to grab his shirt and gave it a feeble yank. He knew your intentions and, with a single hand, grabbed the back of his shirt at the neck, bent his shoulders and discarded the shirt in one swift motion.

 _Gods._ His chest was broad and smooth; defined pectorals met imposing biceps and his shoulders protruded attractive, muscular angles. His abdomen was toned and firm, and his muscles flexed while you raked your eyes over his exposed torso. There was a faint line of baby soft hair trailing down his lower stomach and disappearing below his pant line, making your desire to lick the trail more and more uncontrollable. You laid back down on your elbows, fighting the temptation, and watched him ruffle his hair before turning his attention to the buckles on his pants.

“ _Wait!_ Can I do that?” You asked, politely.

He raised a brow and smirked before he grabbed both your ankles and pulled you towards him.

“Get on your knees.” He was breathing heavy.

You did as he’d instructed and knelt before him, your bare legs shivered upon contact with the steel floor. You raised a hand to his waist band tentatively, and he nodded. His face was surprisingly grim, eyes fixed on you like he was afraid to miss a single second. You turned your attention to his buckle, which was nearly undone by his own efforts. It popped with a small movement and you teased your fingertips into his waistline, feeling the difference between his pants and his underwear. You pulled down only the pants, being sure to graze the growing bulge in his briefs on the way down, appreciating the small jump your touch elicited.

His legs were massive and thick, strong bands of muscle layered under his skin, his dark hair flat against the surface. You ran your fingertips over his thighs while he pulled his feet through the legs. Then he bent down, hands clasped under your arms, and he pulled you up above him. Your body hung from his hands, legs extended fully, a few feet off the floor. He held you like a rag doll, effortlessly.

“Your shirt - take it off.” He moved his hands to your waist, shifting your weight expertly between his two hands.

Still holding you effortlessly above him, you pulled the shirt over your head, and tossed it down onto his face. He shook it off, revealing another warm, toothy grin which stole the breath from your starved lungs. You may have to get used to those moments where Kylo Ren disappeared and that lovely smile took his place. He lowered you slowly, your exposed skin softly brushing his own down the length of his body. You felt your walls clench and your juices drip slightly down your thigh.

“Mmm,” you moaned quietly, unable to stifle the building heat in your belly.

He reached behind you to unhook your bra. You clamped it to your sides until you were sure he was looking. When he was, you let the bra fall to the floor. Pleased to watch his tongue run over his lower lip until he bit the inside of it, pulling a small whine from deep within your throat. It sounded far away and foreign, catching you thoroughly off guard. He looked at you for a few moments; the silence beginning the make you both uncomfortable. He reached out hesitantly, as if he might break you, and took hold of one breast. He cupped it and fondled it gently in his large hand.

You let your head tilt back, allowing a ragged moan to spill from your lips. His touch was fire, consuming you bit by bit, flames licking their way into your skin. He lowered himself to his knees in front of you. It was a bizarre sight. Kylo Ren, Commander of The First Order, on his knees before you like a servant in waiting. His head came up to your throat and he kissed you there; sloppy, passionate kisses down your collarbone before he latched onto a breast. You held him there, one hand behind his head and one hand on his shoulder. Your pussy clenched over and over again, aching to be filled. Almost in answer, Kylo’s tongue swirled around your nipple, which stood at attention in his mouth. He grazed at it with his teeth, catching it and biting gently for a moment before releasing and running his hot tongue over it again.

You dug your fingers into his scalp and shoulder, pulling him into you. Your small gasps and moans filled the silent bedroom, urging him to continue the attentions he was lavishing on you. The sensations were overwhelming, and you weren’t sure if you could wait much longer. You grabbed his face with both of your hands and pulled him up to meet your lips. You kissed him fiercely and he responded in kind, lips soft but firm. Every kiss you had shared before now seemed distant. None of them had ever been this urgent or delicious. Never this _wanting_.

“I want to taste you.” You whispered raggedly between breaths.

“Mm,” he moaned, his eyes still closed. “Get back on your knees.”

Even his whisper was enough to bend you to his will. You obeyed unthinkingly, joining him, knees taking the brunt of the cold floor. He stood upright, looking down at you with a lustful glare. With him back to his full height, you were eye level with his hips, unable to tear your gaze away from the needy erection directly in your eyeline. His black underwear was struggling to hold back the massive bulge. Every part of you salivated, high and low. Your mouth opened, wet and ready to receive him, speechless from the memory of his cock.

He pulled his length from his undergarments. It was large, swollen, and red, where the blood had gathered there. He wasn’t fully erect yet, and already entirely intimidating. Every single enormous inch was covered in strong veins; his girth was thick. Despite having done so successfully once before, you weren’t sure if you could fit much of him into your mouth. He allowed you to admire it for a moment, not having the opportunity the first time you were in this position. You raised a hand to it; unable, by a long shot, to wrap your hand around his girth. He fisted his fingers into your hair, grabbing all of it in a single swipe and pulled your head to him, evidently grown tired of your innocent admiration. He guided his cock into your warm, wet mouth and the head touched your tongue, precum spilled eagerly onto the tip. He groaned approvingly and pushed deeper into your mouth.

You had been correct. You weren’t able to fit all of him at first. Your lips were stretched tight around him, your eyes watery almost immediately, and you needed to pull away frequently in order to breathe. He steadied his other hand in your hair and rocked his hips, beginning to fuck your mouth in earnest. Soon, he picked up speed and you were gasping for breath in between his thrusts. Tears streamed down your face, making you the loveliest thing he’d ever seen. Your hands flew up to his thighs, and you tried, uselessly, to push him away so that you might be able to breathe. He snatched your hands, dropping your hair, and pulled his cock from your mouth.

Long strands of saliva connected his length and your bruised tongue. You stared up at him through your lashes. He had both your wrists in his left hand and used his right to scoop you up into his arms. He cradled you for a split second before tossing you back onto the bed. This time, you landed among the pillows which scattered, and some fell to the floor with the impact. He stood like a feral animal before leaping onto the bed, arms supporting his weight overtop of you. He tipped his index finger into the top of your panties, sending a shiver down your spine. You stared at the ceiling, trying to control your ragged breathing, while he teased your thighs, your waistband, everything but underneath the soaked underwear which separated you. You shut your eyes and focused on your breath. That’s when you heard the tear of fabric and suddenly realized he had ripped your panties off of you. You raised your head to look down at him over the length of your naked body. Hanging from one hand were the remnants of your poor undergarments and in the other, he was stroking his length, eyes drinking in the image in front of him.

“Touch yourself.” He commanded, huskily.

Your eyes glued to him, heart throbbing in your throat, drinking in the image. You opened your legs, knees bent, and sat your feet flat on either side of his knees. Then you trailed your hand slowly from your collarbone to your dripping cunt, pressed the pad of your middle finger to your swollen, stiff clit and rubbed small circles. Your walls contracted in response, aching for something to fill the throbbing space. He watched you, his dark eyes following every small movement of your fingers. You slipped two fingers inside yourself, spreading and coming back together, your wrist pushing them in and pulling them out over and over in an attempt to ready your walls for his size.

He let out a breathless laugh.

“Two fingers isn’t enough, little girl.”

You withdrew the slick fingers, dragging your fingertips back up your abdomen and chest, leaving a glistening trail of your juices behind. He took notice, eyes trailing your fingertips until you raised your hand to your mouth and tasted yourself. After sucking your fingers clean and watching Kylo’s face turn from amused to hungry, you pulled them back out with a satisfying ‘pop’.

“You’re telling me. I need something bigger.” You teased.

That was about all he could take. He released his grip of his dick and moved toward you on the bed, eyes boring flaming holes into yours. Your legs opened wider for him and he guided himself into the space between your legs. He teased the hot head of his member against your damp folds, slicking himself with your arousal. Your eyes were locked on each other, exchanging heated, labored breaths in the small space between your faces. The head of his cock was warm and wide, teasing your stiff clit under the weight of his length. His eyes were wide, concerned even. Suddenly, he seemed worrisome.

“Are you.. do you think you can take this?” He asked quietly, breathless.

His brows furrowed just slightly, a small hint of concern finding its way into his lust filled eyes. Your walls clenched tightly, begging to swallow him into your core.

“Yes sir.” You breathed, nodding quickly.

And the pressure turned to fire at your entrance. The head of his dick was wider than you were ready to take, lips stretched thin to accommodate him. He pushed slowly into your core. You looked back up, hoping to meet his eyes; however, he wasn’t looking. His gaze was focused on forcing his way inside your tight cunt, brows knit together tight over his dark eyes. You could tell he was trying to be gentle; could feel his muscles tensing, repressing shudders and holding onto his control. He must have been holding back quite a lot in order to make this more comfortable for you, and you were grateful for it. He slid further in, you whimpered as your walls expanded around him. He looked up at you then and covered your mouth with one large hand, the gesture softer than you had expected. His eyes were a pained mix of warning and apology. You nodded, assuring him you could handle it, and he steadied his other hand on your shoulder and thrust into you hard.

Luckily, you were so wet, leaving hardly any friction, but your small cunt was stretched wide by him. As he seated himself fully inside your tight walls, you screamed into his hand, which muffled the sound a great deal. Your eyes squeezed shut, trying to focus more on the pleasure than the pain. He slid out a bit and slammed back in, forcing your walls to open for him. His hand clamped down over your mouth harder, suppressing a bit of the ragged breaths that flooded your ears. You heard him distantly.

“Open your eyes.” He whispered, shakily. “Look at me.”

Your lids fluttered open, dizzy from the overstimulation and the searing flood from between your thighs. His eyes burned into yours, his own lips had fallen open, breath coming out quicker and quicker.

“F-fuck…” He pronounced the word slowly, making your cunt clench around him.

“ _Fuck_!” He cursed quicker and louder this time.

Finally, your walls relaxed a bit to his size, his cock coated with your slick and he was able to glide swiftly in and out. You felt the unmistakable coil begin to tighten in your core, the beginnings of your climax seating inside your belly. Your lashes fluttered as you watched his reaction to every ripple of your arousal and every ridge of your core.

“Shit… You’re so.. _tight_.” He swallowed hard, lips pursing and stifling a shaky breath.

Another clench from your oversensitive walls forced a long, shuddered breath from his lungs. He was gaining speed, but you hardly noticed at first. The pain subsided, for the most part, and your eyes rolled back into your head. White, blissful light flooded your vision, until you were vaguely aware of your own mumbled moaning and teary eyes. It wasn’t until he began slamming into you that you were pulled from that light and noticed his speed. He fucked into you so hard and fast that your head was bobbing uncontrollably, cheek smacking his chest. His hips snapping furiously, his face going red with effort, sweat began to bead on his forehead. The effort of his thrusts making him beyond beautiful – simply mouthwatering. Your walls fluttered around his length.

He watched you, one hand leaving your shoulder and trailing heavily down to your breast. His eyes fell to the bobbing mounds, pupils black with lust as he squeezed the flesh. For what could have been an endless amount of time, he plowed into you, his eyes dancing from your chest to your reddened cheeks, to your teary eyes as you strained to take him. He bit his lip hard, struggling to stave off his impending climax until he watched you break completely under him. You whined loudly, your lips pressed tight together to suppress the sound. He abandoned your breast to circle your throat with his long fingers, careful not to cut off your airway. You looked so small in his grasp, plump lips forming an ‘o’ as his name fell from your lips.

“Shit, you’re gorgeous.” He breathed, tongue wetting his kiss-swollen lips.

His grunts turned to gurgled moans after that, pace never once wavering, even as he leaned down into you.

“I’m going to cum.” He was near breathless.

“I’ll be easy tonight, but next time.. ah, _fuck!_ ” He lost his sentence, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

You watched as he opened them again and his eyes bore down into yours, pace quickened now, chasing his climax furiously.

“Next time, you’re going to fucking swallow it… okay?”

You nodded eagerly under his hand, cunt clenched tight to swallow his dick down.

“Shit..!”

He pulled out and removed his hand from your throat. He quickly climbed over your legs, pinning you to the bed underneath him, and jerked himself over you. With his hand passing in a blinding blur over his own cock, it didn’t take long before he throbbed, spasmed, and thick, warm jets of cum spurt onto your breasts and abdomen. He fucked his hand through his orgasm and his head fell forward with exhaustion. Before you could move, he slid down your body and lowered his face to your cunt. His tongue making small, quick passes up and down your clit.

“ _Oh_ … fuck..” You sighed against a pillow.

He moaned into your pussy and you felt light-headed, sensation rippling over you as you neared climax.

“Mmm, say my name.” He growled.

“Kylo! Oh gods, _Kylo_ , don’t stop...”

He slid a finger inside you, curling it to hit the perfect spot. Your back arched against the bed, your hands tangled in his hair, pulling his face into you. It was seconds later that you came. Waves of exhaustion and contentedness washed over you, toes curled against the bed, thighs clamped down around his face, nearly drowning the towering Commander in your arousal. Little did you know, he would have died happy. Small shudders shook your legs, chest heaving. Kylo pried your legs open with his fingers, chasing oxygen to tunnel into his burning lungs, and propped himself on his elbows over your stomach.

He took his finger, covered in your juices, and held it to your mouth.

“Tell me how you taste.” He whispered.

“You know how I taste..” You snickered, licking his fingers anyway.

After you cleared the large appendages of your sweet cum, swallowing the salt into your throat, he swiped a finger through his spend that had collected between your breasts and held the finger back up to you.

“Then tell me how _I_ taste.” The corner of his mouth twitched in a wicked smile.

You took his entire finger in your mouth this time, eager cheeks and tongue still sore from taking his cock and sucked the finger clean.

“You taste good.” You whispered, eyelids falling closed as exhaustion set in.

He raked his eyes over you, under the cover of your disappearing gaze. The look that fell over him, unmistakable, was pride. He let his eyes land on your ruddy breasts, the crescent bite marks on your thighs and neck, the shimmery trails of your combined cum marking near invisible pathways over your landscape like memories. He couldn’t help but feel the swell of pride as he took you in, simply broken and bruised from his touches. He admired your battered hair and the sheen of sweat on your forehead; his fingers swept the matted hairs from your hairline faintly, not ready to rouse you. He silently admired all the places his skin met yours, even still, after you were both spent; utterly surprised and grateful that you hadn’t turned away from his touch.

“You need a shower.” He mused.

“Whose fault is that?” You laughed, the response coming naturally to you.

He pushed himself off you, a low groan coming from his lips, and stood by the edge of the bed.

He extended a hand to you as your eyelids snapped open with his movement.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You took his hand and followed him to the restroom. His was much larger than your own; his shower was large enough for multiple people and his bathtub was in an entire other room. You sneaked a peek inside the door. The basin was enormous. _Like most things associated with Kylo Ren,_ you thought. He strode over to the shower and turned it on, allowing the water a moment to warm.

It was interesting how he walked so confidently, even stark naked. Everything about the man oozed confidence and self-assuredness, so opposite from yourself, shielding your nude breasts with your arm. He was really a one of a kind. He caught you staring at him and smirked, pulling you toward his chest. He led you into the shower, moving aside at the entrance so that you could enter before he did. You stepped into the water, letting it wash away Kylo’s cum and the sweat from your endeavors.

He nestled in behind you, his body completely wrapped around yours in a warm embrace. His long arms reached past you for the soap on the shelf and you watched as he lathered his hands and handed the bar to you. You lathered your own hands and sat the soap back down. His hands were on you, then, palms flat against your back, he began to rub small circles over your shoulder blades. His hands massaged you slowly, tenderly. You ducked your hands between your thighs and cleaned the spend from the flesh there, too. Your fingers grazing your clit ever so slightly as you withdrew.

You had allowed your eyes to float shut, your body gratefully melting under his touch. He turned you to face him, and you rested your head against his chest. He rubbed your lower back in response. You twirled his chest hair between your fingers for a few moments before you tilted your head up to look at him. His eyes had shut as well, a small content smile on his lips. The moment was grand but short lived. A loud, disruptive buzz came from the other side of the quarters. His data pad vibrated against the durasteel night table.

His eyes opened and he looked down at you briefly. His hands pried your embrace gently from his body. He stepped out of the shower, not bothering to grab a towel since he wasn’t necessarily wet and disappeared into the other room. You couldn’t hear anything but the rushing water behind you. After a few minutes, he came back. He had put on pants and was in the process of pulling on a shirt when he crossed the threshold. He walked up to the shower door and leaned in a bit, careful not to get his hair wet.

“I have to go. Continue your shower.”

You were crestfallen. “Should I leave after I’m done?”

He looked confused. “I’ll be back. You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

He glanced down at his data pad and took a half step back.

“I really have to go. I’ll be back soon. Just wait here until I return.”

And he was gone, you barely heard the door whiz open and shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you guys think - I'm a little nervous this fic is no good... been having a hard time continuing to write it, I feel like it's kind of pointless :(


	8. A Change in Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kylo approached his door, fully anticipating to hurt her feelings, or worse."

****Kylo’s Perspective****

Kylo didn’t want to leave her, but the message from Captain Phasma was urgent. News from the mission on Jakku would be waiting. The halls were deserted at this time of night, making his navigation to the Command Bay entirely too easy. When he had arrived, there was a palpable tension in the air. If Kylo hadn’t been so drained from his, ahem, personal endeavors, he would have reached into someone’s mind to ascertain the truth immediately. However, he would have to wait to be told, this time. He sensed fear among the officers in the bay, stalked past the group and into the control room. Soon after, an officer approached his back. Kylo didn’t turn to face him; instead, he stared straight ahead at the controls, hands folded calmly behind his back. He heard the officer remove his hat and swallow hard.

“Sir,” his voice wavered. “We were unable to acquire the droid on Jakku.”

Kylo turned his head to the side, slowly. Anger boiling in his chest, hands balled into fists.

He continued. “It escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian YT model freighter.”

Confusion tainted his synthesized voice, the sentence coming out less threatening than he had hoped. “The droid… stole a freighter?”

“Not exactly, sir. It had help.”

_The rogue Stormtrooper?_

He turned his body to the side, head facing the officer. He couldn’t see Kylo glaring at him, but he could feel it.

“We have no confirmation, but we believe FN-2187 may have helped in the escape.” His words were coming out quicker now, panic evident in his voice.

Without thinking, Kylo activated the lightsaber by his side, all at once freeing it from his belt. The red, crackling energy spread quickly, like lightning, an extension of his fury. His own panic and wrath igniting inside his chest, desperately needing to be released. He turned and sliced into the control wall, lightsaber coming down repeatedly with ease. The metal groaned against the inexorable force of the saber.

_Damn Hux! Damn his intolerable troopers! Damn the traitor who had freed the Resistance pilot and stolen the droid!_

Sparks flew all around him. _Skywalker_ was falling from his grip. Rage rippled through his blood, through his arm, before finally being hushed by the reverberations in his muscles.

His violence faded slowly. He took a few more swings, halfheartedly, before finally deactivating the saber at his side.

“Anything else?” Again, his voice betrayed his emotion.

The officer behind the Commander was frozen in place from the display of anger. He hesitated a moment before taking in a defeated breath.

“The two were accompanied by a girl.”

Kylo spun wildly to him, extending his hand, and called forth The Force, summoning the officer’s throat to his grasp. He came skidding quickly forward, his feet struggling to find purchase against the slick floor. He choked upon the grip.

“What girl?” Kylo spat.

He was useless. Commander Ren threw him to the side, discarding the irrelevant officer and striding quickly out of the control room. _What girl?_ Questions raked his mind. _Resistance? A sympathizer? Was anyone on this base capable?_ Only halfway back to his quarters did he remember she would be there. He tried to calm his anger; he really did, but it seemed as useless as the officer. Kylo approached his door, fully anticipating to hurt her feelings, or worse.

****Reader's Perspective****

When you stepped out of the shower, you found that Kylo had left a towel for you on the counter along with a large black sweater. _His sweater_. You toweled off without delay and pulled the sweater over your head. It wasn't one of those itchy sweaters, where the material was made from recycled galactic waste, it was soft, meaning it must have been organic. The sleeves extended about four inches past your fingertips and the hem landed just above your knee. Perfectly oversized, massive, just like him.

 _Thank the Gods for that_ , you had just remembered that you had no underwear.

You walked into his bedroom where you discovered he'd picked up all your clothing and folded them on the bed; with the exception of your decimated undergarments, which had been discarded in a waste basket by the door. You frowned and looked around the room for a moment, wondering where you would wait.

There was his office chair, which was barely visible in the dark room. No. You didn't want to trespass into his office. There was the bed; though, that seemed presumptuous. You could stand, you supposed, but perhaps you would appear to be snooping. You attempted to calm your maddening thoughts as you walked back into the bathroom to check your face. Your split was well healed, no sign that any of the acts you had committed disturbed it too much. The bruising had faded. You had just turned back toward the bedroom when you heard the door whiz open. You met him in the bedroom. He was back in full armor, helmet encased his head, cloak falling gently at his sides as he halted. You were unsure what to do, settling for a quiet greeting and a small smile.

"Hello again, Commander."

He discarded the cloak first, his gloves gripped the material; then, he took off the helmet. The familiar hiss was becoming music to your ears. Your smile widened as his face was revealed, but at first, his face was stone and steel. Clearly this meeting had not gone well. You let your smile fade quickly. He was quiet for a few moments as you watched him undress his armor and outerwear. You remained silent and still in the archway near the restroom. He looked back up to you, his stony façade breaking a bit, and opened his arms. You took that as an invitation, walking briskly across the room to tuck your head under his chin. His arms wrapped around you.

He paused, pulling away and looking down.

"Your hair is dry." He stated, as matter of fact.

“Oh, yeah." You blushed.

"I wasn't sure when I'd be leaving and didn't want to walk home with wet hair." You rambled, assuring him with your widening eyes.

He furrowed his brows. "Get back in the shower."

You almost laughed at the abrupt command.

“You know.. I-I wasn’t sure if I’d be going back to my room and I certainly wouldn’t want to be caught leaving your quarters with wet hair.”

Instead of a response, he pulled the sweater over your head and you shuddered in the cool air of his bedroom. Being in front of him fully nude while he was clothed was a different sensation, you had felt even more vulnerable than he had made you feel before. His eyes raked over your body.

“Go back to the shower.” He commanded again.

You walked to the restroom, carrying the sweater with you. You waited for him, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head when he entered the restroom. He caught your eyes while he discarded the pants and underwear, then turned you away from him and pulled you back into his frame. His warm skin felt nice against your own and his muscles were tense against your back. He reached forward, turning on the shower again, and pushed you into the stream.

You turned around to face him, the water hitting your lower back. It was still warm from the shower you had just taken and didn’t need to warm up. He kept pushing you back until you let your head fall back into the stream, wetting your hair. He handed you the soap and you lathered up, this time, depositing it into your hair. Your eyes were locked on his. He hadn't said much since he'd gotten back, and you were tempted to ask him about it.

"What was the meeting about?" You tread lightly, rinsing your hair.

He was silent for a moment, as if debating to share.

"We're attempting to locate a droid with a navigational map." He spoke clearly.

"The one you instructed the General to find?" You asked.

His eyes narrowed. "Yes."

"And he was unsuccessful in doing so?" You asked again.

"A squad was dispatched to retrieve it. The droid escaped on a stolen freighter."

"The droid stole a freighter?" You questioned, brows drawing together.

The smallest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips and his eyes softened.

"Don't concern yourself with it." He said quietly.

"But how..?" You persisted.

His smile broadened and he shook his head, his finger reaching up to caress your chin.

"You know," He pulled you into a hug. "I asked the same question."

He was gentler now, absolutely adorable.

"I was upset before… But I feel fine now." He mumbled softly into your hair, his chin resting on your head.

You attempted to push your thoughts at him. _Is that because of me?_ No answer, his breathing falling and rising softly in his chest. You tried again, nothing. He pulled himself upright and grabbed the soap from behind you, dispensing some into his hand and scrubbed it into his hair. He was beautiful. You stepped away from him, and he took your spot in the stream of warm water.

“I don’t know how I did that… earlier.” You admitted quietly.

He considered you, briefly.

“You’re Force sensitive…” He said, simply.

“So it’s common?” You prodded, head tilting to the side.

“No. Not at all, really.” He rinsed his hair. You watched the suds fall gently out of his hair, trailing down the thick cords of muscle in his neck.

You tilted your head to the side, admiring the glistening skin of his collarbone. He considered you, biting his lower lip.

“You’ve seen my knights.” He pulled you closer to him.

The image of his six deadly knights flashed into your head, a chilling memory of their terrifying countenance. You nodded meekly.

“All my knights are force sensitive.” He mused.

Unsure of his implications, you had taken a half step out of the shower when he turned back to look at you, eyebrows raised.

"Where are you going?" There was a hint of worry in his voice.

"I'm going to dry off. Enjoy your shower." You smiled and wrapped the towel around you.

His face relaxed and you walked into the bedroom, hair dripped down your back. You had picked up his sweater and pulled it over your head before wrapping your hair with the towel. Then you picked up your clothing off the bed and held it in your arms, looking down at the sheets while doing so. It looked so comfortable. You were getting very tired and found yourself tempted to crawl right in without an invitation. You heard the shower turn off and removed the towel from your head. Walking back into the restroom, he had already grabbed himself a towel, which was neatly secured around his waist. You tossed your towel in the hamper, he looked at you and smiled. It was warm and a washy feeling rose in your stomach. He passed you and walked back to the bedroom.

"Why are you holding your clothes?” He called.

You turned the corner to see him collecting some night clothes from the shelves on the far wall.

"I just got them out of the way. They were laying on the bed.”

He turned to look at you, pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

"Then get in bed." He said blankly.

"Are you sure?" You asked.

"Yes."

He drew a shirt over his frame and collected his clothing, tossing them in a bin on the wall. Then, he collected your clothing from your arms and sat them gently on the side table. Without warning, he scooped you into his arms. You giggled and buried your face in his neck, his wet hair brushing your cheek. He carried you to the bed, pulled back the cover and placed you gently on the edge. Then, he picked up the covers again and climbed over your body, before laying himself down behind you. You backed into him, body fitting into his frame and he exhaled loudly against your shoulders and neck.

“Your assignment will begin at 09:00 in the morning. Report to the Command Shuttle.” He spoke into your hair.

“Okay. Thank you… for dispatching me to my assignment, Commander.” You wriggled your backside into his hips.

“You’re welcome, officer.” There was some humor in his voice.

 _Do I say goodnight?_ You wondered.

_Goodnight._

As if he answered your thoughts, his voice echoed in your head.

"You too." You replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thanks for reading - I'm posting two chapters today. Honestly, these are some of my favorite chapters early on in the work - I really loved writing the chemistry between the two characters. And I love angsty Kylo, so that's always fun to write! As per the usual, please let me know what you think! I take a great deal of time editing each chapter, but I do miss some things, and I'd love to know if you guys find a mistake (or gods forbid, a plot hole.) I updated TWO chapters today, so be sure you read both! Thank you for the continued comments and feedback, they help me so much!


	9. Assignments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, we fly the Command Shuttle for the first time and we test our limits a great deal. We get a tiny glimpse into what training will be like for our reader, as Kylo discovers more about her connection to the Force, and we get our first interaction with one of Kylo's knights. As an added pleasure, we get a glimpse into Kylo being "facetious" as he calls it, which makes me laugh every time I read it... Enjoy :)

In the morning, Kylo wasn't there. You had been woken by an automated alarm.

"The time is now o-eight-hundred... Commander Ren... the time is now o-eight-hundred... Commander Ren."

You realized, when stumbling over to the disarm panel half asleep, that you didn't have the biometrics to disarm it. You sat there, unsure of what to do, before hearing the door whiz open behind you. You spun around, fingers clutching the hem of the sweater, but it was Kylo. He stalked into the room, donning his helmet and armor, and passed you to disarm the alarm. Once the automated voice was silenced, he removed his mask, holding it to his side with his arm. He looked down at you, hair sticking up in all kinds of places, and you couldn’t quell the fit of giggles which erupted from your half-closed lips.

"You have bed head." You snickered.

He rolled his eyes, but a smile played at the corner of his lips.

"Enough. I slept well last night." He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

"I only returned because I remembered the alarm. We'll fix that tonight. I'll see you at the Command Shuttle." He placed his helmet back over his head and stalked out into the hallway.

You found yourself smiling at the door for a while after he was gone. He was much different, here in this room, than he was out on base. You turned your attention to getting ready. You discarded the sweater, tossing it into the bin on the wall, and walked to the nightstand where your clothes were folded neatly. _Damn it_! You had forgotten you had no panties. You hesitantly pulled the pants on, grimacing against the odd sensation between your legs.

After getting fully dressed, you made the bed. It didn't take you too long, you thought the two of you must have slept in the exact same positions all night long. Your mind flooded with visions of the night before, moments of comfort and laughing and passion wrapped you in a cloud before you left his room. You squared your shoulders and walked, head high, out of his quarters. The hall was deserted, but you didn't dally. You boarded an elevator quickly and was relieved to find you were alone.

When you had arrived at the Hangar Bay, you felt a sigh of relief pass through your lips. While your entire world had changed over the course of one night, all operations were still in normal working order. Officers and pilots oscillated around the room in synchronized chaos. You examined the uniforms and badges of the different pilots on your way past. Idly, you wondered when you would get your uniform, when you felt a familiar tug at the back of your neck.

_Ugh, no Kylo. What do you want to know? I can just tell you!_

You pushed the thought at him, hard. Since he was in your head, you figured he should have heard it.

_I was just looking for you._

His Force voice was a little sheepish.

_Well, I'm here. Get out, please. That hurts._

The Force retreated from your mind, leaving a dull ache in its place. You had reached the shuttle, the ramp extended, and Kylo Ren descended it. He was accompanied by a small man; his uniform told you he was a pilot, as well. Kylo had reached you first. With his helmet in place, you couldn't see his face, but it still took a lot for you to remember not to smile when you saw him.

"Officer Knight." He greeted.

You saluted quickly, standing at brief attention before you were quickly dismissed. It felt stranger to show him respect in this way than it had to do all those disrespectful things with him last night. You were pulled from your thoughts as he introduced the pilot at his side.

"This is Officer Bailey." His metallic voice was becoming just as irresistible as the voice beneath the mask.

The officer extended a hand to you, and the two of you shook.

"Officer Bailey was my previous shuttle pilot. He'll instruct you for the next few days before we leave for The Finalizer next week."

"The Finalizer?" You asked, forgetting who you were speaking to.

The Commander ignored your question and spoke to Officer Bailey.

"See to it that she's fully briefed. I want her flight ready in as soon as possible."

"Yes sir." He saluted.

The Commander turned to you and you saluted him, as well.

"Officer Knight, I expect you to report to training after your assignment." He reminded you sternly.

Of course, you knew what he was referring to. And of course, you would be there.

"Yes sir."

The Commander dismissed you both.

 _Good luck._ Wormed its way into your head, to which you suppressed a warm smile.

As Commander Ren walked away, Officer Bailey stepped in front of you. He was a short man, with heavy brow bones and receded eyes. His hair was dark brown and shaved close to his head on the sides, the rest of his hair tucked neatly into his First Order cap. His face was pleasant; he seemed friendly enough.

"Officer Knight, I'm so glad to have someone taking over for the Command Shuttle. It's been a phenomenal opportunity, but too much action for me." He turned and climbed the ramp in quick, short steps.

"Too much action?" You asked incredulously.

"Oh, yes! Between... no, you'll see what I mean."

He picked up a data pad off the wall of the shuttle, looking at you sideways.

"Have you flown before?" He asked.

"Yes, sir. I graduated flight school three months ago. Top of my class." You answered, head held high.

"Hmm. You must be quite good to have earned this assignment so quickly." Though his words were perfectly polite, his voice betrayed doubtfulness.

You fought the urge to narrow your eyes at him.

"I must be." You responded, curtly, eyes meeting his.

He adverted his eyes and read some information on his data pad.

"So, for today we will familiarize you with the controls and then move into the field to focus on takeoff and landing. Were your exams conducted in simulation or live flight, during school?"

"Live flight on planet and simulation for space." You answered, immediately.

He jotted something down into the data pad and situated the device to his belt. You followed him to the cock pit where he gestured for you to go ahead. You took a deep, steadying breath, being careful to stifle any sound, and sat in the pilot's chair. It felt too big, not how you had remembered it. Your mind flickered back to Commander Ren. The officer stood behind your right should and pointed to the control board.

"Can you show me where the ignition is?"

You rolled your eyes, lucky he couldn't see you. He was speaking to you as if you were a child. You pointed to the large red button and he nodded behind you.

"And there," You said, pointing to the knobs to your left. "Those are the navigation controls, above the flight display and the altitude indicators."

"Yes." He said behind you.

 _I wasn't asking a question._ You thought to yourself.

"Here are the throttle levers, and the control wheel. And down here," You ducked your head down to point at the pedals.

"There's the rudder and brakes."

"Alright, officer. You're familiar with the controls. That's good, but let's get you in the air. Okay?"

He sounded annoyed.

 _Good_ , you thought. He annoyed you, you'd annoy him back.

This was going to make for a long day.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That was good, Knight!" Officer Bailey exclaimed upon landing.

This was your 5th landing and each time the wheels made contact with the ground, the officer was more impressed than the last. You were suppressing a smug grin, when he had unclasped his seat belt and stood in front of you, hand extended. You took it, looking up at him. He was beaming, eyebrows raised. He looked kind of sweet, like a proud father. You were sure your father would still have found a flaw.

"You did fantastic!” He commended, enthusiastically.

The two of you shook briefly, feeling suddenly awkward by the intensity of his smile. You cleared your throat as you made to stand, causing him to side-step and shuffle away from you in the confined space. You had been raised not to trust people who smile too much, the action elicited a gross sinking feeling in your gut.

“Ah, well,” He cleared his throat, allowing you some space to stand. “You’re dismissed. I’ll see you back here tomorrow. Is 09:00 okay?”

“Uh, oh, yes sir.” You awkwardly saluted.

He dismissed himself and exited the shuttle. You were so excited you could barely hold it in. You practically skipped to lunch, anxious to tell Jane. Along the way, you passed the General in the hall, who briefly nodded in your direction. When you’d arrived at the mess hall, you had realized how little you'd eaten in the past few days. Your stomach growled. You headed straight for the line and loaded up protein onto your tray. The droid scanned you out and you searched for Jane. She waved at you across the room. When you had made your way to the table, you could see her hair was damp again. She must still be training.

"Hello! How was training this morning?" She asked.

"I've been moved to my assignment, _and_ I flew the Command Shuttle today!" You conveyed in excited, hushed tones.

Her face lit up. It was nice to have a friend who rallied your successes, you were grateful.

"Wow! That's great! How did it feel?" She pushed her food aside and rested her elbows on the table.

You smiled at her. "It was incredible. I think I impressed my trainer… But how is your training going? How was the observation yesterday?"

You took the opportunity to stuff some food into your mouth while she talked.

"Training is difficult. My partner today was three times the size of me. That makes… _eight_ partners now who have kicked my butt."

You giggled through the food, covering your mouth.

She continued, "But the observation was great! I've scheduled another one for this afternoon. It's apparently a Stormtrooper who was injured on Jakku."

"That's right," You swallowed a large chuck of your meal. "They arrived last night from the mission. How many injured?" You asked.

"Only one injured," She began.

"Well that's great!" You interrupted. "It will be a great opportunity to observe!"

Her face was grim, brows drawing together.

"No, only one injured. The rest of the squad was DOA." She lowered her eyes to the table.

DOA. You knew what that meant. "Dead on Arrival" was important terminology for pilots, too. You lowered your head in reverence, smile completely disappeared. Clearly, you didn't know the extent of the failure on Jakku. There wasn't necessarily a shortage of Stormtroopers, but these were your men. A squad was typically 6-10 men, and only one had come back alive, staggering numbers, in anyone’s eyes.

"Was it Resistance?" You asked.

"The word going around the Med Bay is that it was a Resistance Pilot and a traitor of The First Order."

You felt sick.

"I wonder if that's why The Commander is being dispatched to The Finalizer.." You mused aloud. You hadn't realized you said it out loud until Jane responded.

"Will you be piloting the shuttle?" She asked.

"Oh, yes. I think so. My trainer seems to be impressed. I don’t know when we’re leaving. I suppose they’ll want me to train a little more before they trust me to pilot the Commander.” You stuffed your mouth full of food.

“Probably!” She agreed through hushed giggles.

Lunch went by in an otherwise uneventful fashion, the two of you girls chatting into much longer than the other officers in the mess hall. You certainly were in no hurry to report to training, and Jane had received a message on her data pad, informing her that the observation was cancelled.

“Well, the observation was cancelled – patient died.” She went grave and solemn.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments until your data pad pinged in your pocket as well. Your heart dropped through your stomach when you saw the sender’s name flash in bold on the fragile screen.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 13:46**

**Training. Now.**

You gulped, having lost track of time even more than you had thought. You shoved the data pad into your pocket and piled your discarded trash onto your tray. Jane noticed your hurried hands blurring over your plate.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, piling her waste as well.

“I need to get to training – the Commander just messaged me. I’m in so much trouble.” Your voice wavered as you spoke.

“Oh no…” She said quietly.

The two of you said your goodbyes as you discarded your trays, before you sprinted to the training rooms. As sweat collected across your brow and minutes collected against you, your anxiety soared through the roof. Your data pad vibrated once, twice more in your pocket. You didn’t dare slow to check it until you boarded the elevator that took you to the room level. Two unread messages displayed themselves on the screen:

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 13:52**

**Oh, take your time. Whenever you’re ready - really. Don’t rush yourself.**

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 13:54**

**The previous message was facetious. Clearly. Get here immediately.**

Your stomach dropped with the momentum of the falling elevator. When the door slid open, you practically shoved stormtroopers to the side to free yourself, nearly falling to the floor when you tripped on one of their boots. They snickered amongst themselves as you scurried down the hall. You couldn’t mind their teasing, thoroughly terrified of the punishment you certainly faced with Kylo Ren.

You rounded the corner down the hall of training rooms and immediately you could sense his impatience. You could feel it in the air like static, electric and thick enough to cut. You chewed your lip nervously, rolling the flesh between sharp teeth, and hung your head low as you stepped into the tense training room.

The Commander and one of his knights stood off to the side of the room, seemingly assessing the weapon wall. The presence of his knight made your fear double, having already anticipated the ruthlessness of your Commander, but not the additional, unknown, threat of his knight. You swallowed the thickness in your throat and watched the pair of them face you.

“Officer Knight.” The Commander called out.

Suddenly, your feet were floundering against the moving floor and your body was dragged through the air towards the two masked men. You came to a halt mere feet from the Commander. His knight stepped forward, and you flinched away from him, unable to move your own limbs which urged you to flee. Both masks surveyed you at this close range, a disgusting prickly feeling washed over you like ice water. You stared into the mask closest to you, the knight; if looks could kill, he’d have been long gone.

“Yes, I know.” Commander Ren said lowly, perhaps answering an unspoken thought.

The knight came closer, hand extended toward your face. You struggled against the unseen Force, away from his reach, you gained some leeway only to be held tighter. That seemed to surprise the men in front of you, each rocked back on their heels, the knight looked to his master.

“She’s strong, master.” The knight said, sounding thoroughly surprised.

Your thoughts sought out Kylo, trying very hard for him to hear you.

_What’s going on?_

“I can hear you.” His knight said close to your side.

Your eyes darted to his mask.

Kylo said your name, forcing your attention back to him.

“This is Cardo; He is one of my most skilled knights – incredibly Force sensitive.”

Cardo afforded you some room as the Force fell away from your limbs.

"He's going to train with you." Kylo instructed.

"Occasionally." He added, bitterly, somewhat more to Cardo than yourself.

"Train with... The Force?" Your voice was small.

The masks in front of you nodded in unison. You deliberated in your head, eyes flitting back and forth between both the knight and his master, noting their similarities and their differences. After a few moments of silence, once Kylo had determined you had no questions that concerned Cardo and were uninterested in arguing with him, he silently dismissed his knight.

Your eyes darted up as Cardo took his leave, unaware that the Commander had given him the silent go-ahead. Not feeling safe, even in your own head, until Cardo was gone; you waited hesitantly in front of the Commander. To your surprise, Kylo was quiet and patient with you while Cardo made his way out of the large training room and enabled the door lock on his way out. Once you were alone, you stepped closer to your Commander.

"You're having him train me?" You asked quietly, feeling much more comfortable now that the two of you were alone.

He raised his hands to either side of his helmet and discarded it, casting it gently to the side of the table he stood across.

"He'll train _with_ you." Kylo corrected.

"He has no authority over you, unless I give it to him." His dark, deep voice was lovely and most welcome to your grateful ears.

His hair was still mussed from the morning, likely stuck under that helmet all day, and his eyes looked tired. There was a gentleness about him today - even after the evening you had shared, you weren't quite expecting him to be so... calm. In fact, you had expected to be punished for your tardiness.

"Why not?" You asked quickly, brows knit together over your eyes.

"I mean- why doesn't he have any authority over me?"

"Because you're _mine_. You answer only to me." He spoke like you should have known this.

His answer made your thighs rub together, your insides quickly threatening to turn to goo.

"Well, you and a few dozen other superior officers..." You mused.

His eyes darkened. "None that matter. Only me."

“Oh, okay..." You sounded small, still unsure about Kylo's apparent mood.

His brow furrowed, just for a split second, and his gloved hand came up to your wrist.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice like melting honey.

It made your insides melt similarly.

"Oh, nothing. I'm ready to train, Commander..." you trailed off, turning to glance back at the door.

"Will your knight be joining us?" You asked.

Kylo's lip twitched. "Not today. I'd considered postponing training for this evening, actually." He mused, clearly entertaining some dark thought behind his glittering eyes and smirking lips.

"No training?" Your heart sank, eyes frantically searching his.

He quickly understood your confusion and his brows drew together similarly.

"Oh, no. You're still coming back to my room." He clarified.

You smirked, unable to suppress it, and he surprised you again by returning the smile. The two of you stood in silence for a few moments, staring at each other. You were able to survey more clearly some of the finer details of his face, taking note of the hazel in the center of his eyes and the ruddy pinkness under his eyes. Little did you know, he was taking notes as well. He appraised the way your cupid’s bow dipped into your plush upper lip, and the way your cheeks made lovely, angular shadows on the darkened side of your face in this light.

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight onto his left leg, his brow furrowed as he continued to stare at you. He spoke, interrupting your close observation of his pursed lips.

“Will you meet me in my quarters in an hour?” He asked, his voice surprisingly husky and thick.

You smiled. “Yes, Commander.”

His reaction was minimal, but clearly pleased. You watched silently as he collected the helmet off the ground and replaced the heavy thing over his head. He was completely silent as he exited the training room, heading in the direction opposite his room. You waited, giving him a small head start to avoid looking suspicious, and soon left the training room yourself. Your data pad vibrated incessantly in your belt as you made your way to your room. You hadn’t been expecting a message from the Commander, much less one which came with _instructions_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Let me know what you all think - questions, comments, concerns, compliments, queries, conundrums, hate mail, plot hole spottings, etc. I posted ONE MORE chapter today, and will update again next week. I edited the hell out of these chapter so I could post it for you all (because chapter 10 is one of my favorites!), but the next chapter needs more editing, so I will likely take the full 7 days to edit before posting chapter 11. But don't fret - enjoy in the meantime :)


	10. Seeking Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> '“I said I’d punish you…” He started, lips close to your ear. “I didn’t say you weren’t going to like it.”'

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 14:05**

**When you arrive at my quarters, strip.**

**Tie your hair back.**

**Kneel on the side of the bed.**

**Wait for me there.**

Your reply was instant.

**Compose Outgoing Message:**

**And if I don’t? |**

He did not reply immediately. Pleased with yourself, you had made it all the way back to your quarters with a smug smile on your face. Once inside your familiar room, you stripped with every intent on getting a warm shower, when your data pad vibrated again.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 14:22**

**Yes, get yourself in more trouble. Let me know how that works out for you.**

You snickered, tossing your data pad onto your bed, and turned to the restroom where you would soon slip into a curtain of tempting, alluring, seductive water. You took your time cleaning every surface of your body, though you knew it would likely be ruined with sweat in just an hour. You piled your hair to the top of your head, keeping it dry away from the stream, and focused on relaxing your tensed muscles.

Over the course of the last few days, you felt yourself change significantly. Clearly, your relationship with the Commander was responsible for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to resent the changes. In some ways, you were much more confident than you had been before, and in others – much more submissive. Not to mention, Kylo believed you were Force sensitive.

 _What will this mean for me, now?_ You had asked yourself.

As your shower went on, you entertained the idea of training with Cardo, feeling immensely grateful it wasn’t the knight who made you cringe. You wondered back to the night before, standing close to Kylo in his shower, hearing his voice in your head all over again.

“All my knights are force sensitive.” He had said.

You had feared the implications at the time, shoving them away from your train of thought, but now that train hit you hard and you couldn’t help but question it. Did Kylo want you to be a knight? Was that all you were to him? Another ‘Force-sensitive’ warm body? As your thoughts spun out of control, you lost track of time. By the time you had cut the water, you only had ten minutes to sprint to Kylo’s quarters.

Frantically, you pulled on the skimpiest pair of underwear you owned followed by a strappy bralette. You had no time to search for more respectable casual wear, opting for a sundress you liked to wear around your room on weekends. You slid your boots over your feet, leaving them untied, and sprinted from your room. Only realizing halfway there that you had forgotten a hair tie.

You got to the room with a minute to spare, palming the control panel to let yourself in. Once the door slid closed behind you, you yanked your dress down over your hips and kicked it to the side of the room, tripping when you tried to step toward the bed. You could hear heavy boots down the hall as you strangled your way out of the bralette, arms flailing as you flung yourself to the edge of the bed.

The door slid open, allowing a single ray of light to spill into his darkened room. The light was fleeting, as his massive frame extinguished it with ease. He stepped into the room, helmet already discarded and wedged between his side and forearm. His gaze fell directly to you. You were awkwardly half-sprawled at the foot of his bed, hair hanging in wild waves around your face and down your bare back, your chest pressed flush to the mattress, your underwear-clad ass stuck high in the air.

He clicked his tongue at you, shaking his head from side to side. You frowned, realizing how ridiculous you must have looked. Kylo circled you around the perimeter of the bed, stalking his prey, taking his time, and allowing you to work up a nervous sweat. Once out of sight, somewhere behind you and beyond your peripheral vision, his hand rested gently on your raised ass cheek. His long finger toyed with the hem of your panty-line, threatening to caress the burning skin underneath, you squirmed into his touch.

“You took my suggestion to get yourself in trouble very seriously today, didn’t you?”

You heard the humor in his voice, a logical part of your brain was able to register it as nonthreatening, but your body reacted to the implication of his words. Your walls contracted, screaming at him to fill you, your clit hummed under the thin layer of fabric which separated you. He chuckled, pleased to watch you tremble as you flexed the muscles in your core, the sound fell hard across your bare back. The hairs on your neck prickled at the reverberations.

“I’m going to punish you…” He said quietly, all traces of humor long gone.

You whimpered, pulling your knees closer underneath your chest and arching your neck to see him.

“Why?” You cried, terror stricken.

“Because I left my underwear on?” His hand came down on the small of your ack, pushing you firmly to the bed.

“Shh.” He cooed. “Don’t panic.”

His hand slid up your back, leaving a warm trail and gooseflesh in its wake, before resting heavily on the back of your neck. He pulled you upright too quickly, the pressure of his grasp making you dizzy and sick. He spun you to face him, your body twisted in an uncomfortable kneeling position. His face was close to you, you could feel his hot breath flutter against your cheek. You writhed in his grasp, unable to deny the pooling wet heat in between your thighs.

“Don’t panic?” You huffed, incredulously.

“How can I not? You just told me you’re going to _punish_ me!” You whined.

His hand was between your legs then, sliding up your slick thighs before resting to cup your sex. His fingers grazed your slit through the fabric, you pushed your hips into his touch, a long groan escaping from some deep place in your chest. He hooked his fingers through the fabric and ripped, simultaneously shredding, and removing your underwear like it was his worst enemy.

“I said I’d punish you…” He started, lips close to your ear. “I didn’t say you weren’t going to like it.”

His finger swept up and down your pussy lips, collecting the slick that drenched your folds. Your walls contracted, aching to be filled. Kylo watched as your walls came close together, pushing a flow of your cum down your thighs. He drank in your moans and sighs that spilled from your parted lips, eyes fixed on your prone position on his bed. His gaze fell decidedly on the pink puckered skin above your cunt; desperate to discover the unclaimed territory. He released your neck and you fell forward towards the bed, catching your weight with your hands.

“Good girl. Stay on your hands and knees.” He knelt at the side of the bed, hands reaching underneath the raised bedframe.

You looked back at him, hair falling into your face, and caught his eyes. Your lips fell apart, ready to ask what he was doing.

“Where is your hair tie?” He asked.

You turned your face away, turning five shades of red.

“I forgot one.” You admitted quietly.

You heard shuffling under the mattress as Kylo retrieved something.

“Late to training, late to my quarters, not fully undressed, and now no hair tie…” He recounted your shortcomings.

You nodded meekly, hanging your head from your embarrassed shoulders.

“You’re begging to be punished.” He stated calmly, sounding neither amused or resentful.

You decided you would play his game, try to control some small part of the evening.

“Yes sir… _begging_.”

You could _hear_ him swallow; you could _feel_ his eyes dart to you immediately. After a few moments of contented silence, you heard something metal being toyed with on the floor. Glancing over to Kylo, you could see him knelt over a small silver briefcase which must have been stowed under his bed. You couldn’t see the contents clearly in the lowlight of the room but registered the glossy sheen of a glass bottle.

“What is that?” You asked, suddenly remembering to be nervous.

His eyes captured yours.

“What is what?” The briefcase slammed shut as he stood and made his way behind you on the bed.

The mattress shifted with his weight as he maneuvered into a comfortable kneel behind your spread legs, your breath hitched, your weeping cunt exposed to him. You could sense him raise a hand to your core, clenching your walls in anticipation of his actions. You could not have been more wrong. You entire body stilled as a foreign slickness coated the untouched bud between your ass cheeks. Your breath escaped your lungs in one heavy rush, your hips ducked forward and away from his touch. But his free hand gripped you in place. His finger spread the slippery substance gently over the puckered skin.

“W-What is that?” You stammered once more, contracting over and over again, unsure why the threat of the unknown substance and the proximity of his finger was so arousing.

“It’s lubricant.” He told you, his voice breathy and husky.

Your jaw dropped open, understanding the implications of the slick substance immediately.

“I-I-I’ve n-never…” You sputtered, back going rigid under his gentle touch.

“Shh.” He silenced you, his finger applying the lightest pressure to your tight hole.

You mewled, relaxing the tension in your back.

“Oh, that’s a good girl.” He purred, fingertip rubbing a tiny circle in the lubricant.

“Don’t enjoy it too much, this is supposed to be your punishment.” He chuckled darkly, steadily increasing the pressure.

Before you had the opportunity to get caught up in your own head about it, his thumb took the place of his fore finger and he tunneled the index finger and middle finger into your slick core. You gasped and sighed, the arch in your back deepening deliciously as you bucked your hips back into him. As your moans tumbled loose from your slack jaw, he could feel your walls tighten around and drench his fingers. Seeing an opportunity at your heightened arousal, he hooked his thumb into the rim of untouched flesh, his finger beginning an expedition into uncharted territory.

You yelped, jolting forward on your knees to escape the intrusion. What felt like a gentle, albeit unfamiliar, exploration a few moments ago now felt like a foreign invasion – a violent assault on your most sensitive and private self. His left hand held you securely in place as your attempted to wriggle away from him, fingers picking up their pace inside your walls. The sensation distracted you from the sting in your backside for a moment, and you mewled underneath him. You could discern a small, throaty chuckle from behind you as his hand left your hip, confident you weren’t going anywhere.

Again, before you could process what was happening, his cock slid into your core without warning. After a few languid, lovely long strokes in and out, you melted under him, the pain having subsided greatly. Almost to the point you couldn’t feel it anymore; almost. Your head lulled slack against your shoulders, your unrestrained locks tumbling loosely down your back. His hips met yours with a smack, thrusting into you with a sickening wet slap, and hitting your cervix with a numbing jolt. You screamed as he grabbed your mop of hair, his grip pulling your head back like reins. You felt his hot breath at the sensitive skin behind your ear.

“I _told_ you to restrain this… _mane_.” He spat, his sing song laced with acid.

“I can’t control myself when it’s blocking my view.” His grip turned merciless, your scalp burned in response.

His pace picked up, hard length splitting you open over and over again, your teary vision blurred beyond comprehension in the darkness of his room. You felt the stirrings of your building orgasm, your climax growing closer much faster than you were used to. When he had ascertained you were enjoying yourself far too much, his hand abandoned the grip on your locks. Mistaking the abandon for mercy, you ground your rear against his pelvis, eliciting a distracted moan from deep within his chest. You would pay for that distraction; sooner than you’d be prepared for.

Without warning, for the umpteenth time that night, his left thumb hooked into your tight asshole. Both thumbs hooked into the taut flesh, stretching the rim of skin beyond it has ever been, and he pried you apart. You squealed, knowing better than to buck away from the pain. He continued to rock mercilessly into your slick core, spearing you open, prying you open, physically manifesting you to open completely to him. Only him. With the smallest effort of concentration, more than he wanted to part from you, he summoned the Force to swirl around your sensitive clit. The coil in your wrecked gut swelled, threatening to spring any moment.

“That’s right baby, gape for me.” His voice was husky, throat swollen and thick – a result of the utterly mouthwatering view in front of him.

His hooked thumbs stretched you wide, but you hardly felt it anymore, you quickly fell toward the white light at the end of your climax – it was so close, you were _almost_ there. He sensed you far away, immediately jealous at the loss of your attention. The Force flicked rapidly at your overstimulated bud for a few moments more, until it all came to a thunderous crash in your belly. You mewled, reciting his name over and over again in a frenzied prayer for release, as you came furiously around his length. You clenched your core harder than ever before, the sheer force of your muscles milking him was enough to send him over the edge.

He resentfully stilled his ruthless pace to revel in the pulses of your climax, feeling the tight ripples go from constant to sporadic to occasional. Once he was convinced you’d come down from the high, he watched your exhausted head hang limp from your neck. He wrenched his thumbs inside you again, eliciting a half-hearted protest from your breathless lungs. Satisfied to watch your head snap back up to attention, he spat into your gaping hole, the wet landing made your overstimulated pussy walls clench around him, and he knew you were ready again. He dug his thumb deeper, spreading his spit into the raw, pink flesh inside you. The rough pad of his finger rubbed the velvet soft wall, drool spilled from your lips.

“Do you feel punished, baby?” He cooed in your ear, breathing heavy as he collected himself.

You hesitantly shook your head from side to side, your loose waves tumbled across your back and fell sumptuously on either side of your neck. He chuckled, the throaty sound landed heavily across your bare back. He withdrew a thumb from inside you, his right palm ran up the length of your spine and back down to your ass cheek. He pawed and rubbed slowly, gently, admiring the flesh rolling under his touch. Then – _smack!_ His hand came down on the skin, meeting your cheek with a warm sting that ignited a raging fire inside you. Your blood boiled, fight or flight kicking in, and you _loved_ it.

You groaned, long and loud, uncaring how much noise you made. You were met with another strike, two more strikes, your burning flesh hot and tingly under his palm. _Smack! Smack! **Smack!**_ His breathing became labored and heavier, his stilled cock inside your cunt twitched and hardened – as if that were even possible! Your chest collapsed against the forgiving mattress, ass high in the air and completely at his lack of mercy. _Smack.. Smack… SMACK!_ His palm rubbed the raw flesh, fingertips digging into the muscle. You winced, rocking your hips back against him to feel his length slide out and in.

His other thumb came slipping out of you with a small _pop_ and his large hands flipped you to your back on the bed. Your eyes fell gratefully on his face as your raw rear scraped torturously against the fabric under you. His hairline was sweaty, eyes black and wide, lips parted and gulping necessary heaps of oxygen into his lungs. He stared at you, admiring the ruddy pink of your cheeks and chest, stealing a quick glance at your parted legs to admire the glistening slick on your thighs and the unmistakable gape of your still-willing asshole. He bit into the flesh of his lip with so much zeal, he nearly drew blood.

Just when he thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful, you _grinned._ You grinned up at him, eyes half-hooded and teary, your mascara smudged slightly under your long, wet lower lashes. You were broken underneath his touch; broken and begging for more. Your lids began to flutter closed, gaze blurring as exhaustion took over you. He exhaled slowly, some small part of him wanting to let you rest. Another, much bigger, part wanted to destroy you properly. His hand circled your throat gently, threatening to tighten his grip. Your eyes opened slowly, grinning again when you met his eyes. He would have none of this sweet shit yet. His grip tightened, blocking your airway. Your eyes widened, startled.

“We’re not done yet.” He spat.

He pushed your legs apart and knelt between them, pelvis tight against your core. His hand retreated from your throat and slid down your sweat-slicked chest, gripping your breast hard enough to bruise. You bit your lip, gazing at him from underneath your lashes. His hand a blur, he drew back and smacked your chest; the fatty flesh rippled under the impact. Your mouth dropped open, staring at his hand which found it’s way quickly back to your sex. Two fingers speared into your cunt, slick once more from his manhandling. His thumb traced phantom circles on your buzzing nub. You cried out, clit much too sensitive for the touch. You locked eyes again and he spat, the spit landing below the rush of his fingers.

“If you need me to stop – say so.” He warned quickly.

Suddenly, he gripped his angry red length and held it ready at the entrance of your virgin asshole. You gulped, abdominal muscles tensed in anticipation. He noted it, eyes softened for just a moment while he rested his left hand over your stomach, urging you to relax and trust him. You did so, melting under the timid touch. He watched you, slicking the head of his cock against your puckered skin. You nodded hesitantly, giving him the go ahead. He spared no time at all, hand seeking out the back of your thigh and pushing your legs back until your knees hit the bed on either side of your shoulders. You were splayed open and ready for the taking. He grinned down at you.

Then, you were full, eyelids snapped shut from the intrusion. His cock slid into your walls, tunneling into your most private hole. You were delectable, so tight around his length, his eyes shut in a moment of pure euphoria as he struggled to stave off the almost immediate urge to burst right then and there. Every ridge of you was perfectly curved, made to hug his flesh and draw him deeper inside you. He gasped, panted, hand trembling against your thigh. His attention had left his ministrations inside your cunt, his fingers stilling inside your clenched walls. Your eyelids drifted open from the sudden stop, finding his torn face. His lips were parted, brows furrowed in deep concentration, his face was red from the effort of holding back. You watched his face as he withdrew the fingers from your core, the hand rested on your other thigh and held you firmly in place.

His eyelids snapped open, finding you watching him. He wished he could summon the concentration to use the Force, he wanted to tease your clit, feel your walls, tunnel into you in every way and fill all your holes. You sensed his need and slowly drifted your hand to your sex, small fingers circling the wet, sensitive bud. It thrummed under your touch, begging for attention. His eyes were hungry, drinking you in while he drew deep breaths to keep from exploding inside you too soon. He hesitantly withdrew to fall back to the hilt inside you, your once-virgin hole too eager to make him cum.

You tunneled two of your tiny fingers into your cunt, the knuckles grazing his length through your skin. He felt it too, stroking him from inside yourself.

“ _Fucking seven hells…_ ” He groaned, eyelids drifting closed once more.

He was unable to watch – sure it would make him blow. You loved the control you had over him in that moment, reveling in the broken look on his face. He could break you without lifting a finger, but then – so could you, it seemed. You continued to stroke inside yourself, fingers scissoring back and forth, seeking out your g-spot and the head of his cock inside your ass. He gasped, swallowed thickly, and inhaled so deeply you worried he’d feint. His eyes snapped open, the darkest midnight black you’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes, and all seven hells broke loose upon the pair of you.

He was feral, merciless, ruthless; brutally finding pace as he fucked your ass in earnest. You tried to keep pace with him, fingers flailing in and out of your walls, failing to keep the same speed. The coil grew once more in your belly, matched by his too. You both hurled profanities, groans, shared glances, and heavy stares. His hands tried to push through your thighs, burying your knees into the mattress. His right hand retreated to hook a thumb into your cheek, deciding he liked the view so much he’d do the same with his left thumb. Your mouth gaped as his thumbs pried you apart.

Not the first time they had done that to your body that night. Your eyes rolled back into your head, feeling his cock fill and refill you entirely too full for longer than you thought he could go. He was staving it off as long as possible, hips snapping under the furious speed and pleasure of your tightening walls. His head collapsed to your chest, sinking his teeth into the swell of your breasts while he pounded into you during those last moments before his climax. Fire rolled through him, accompanied by a thunderous growl that reverberated off the durasteel walls of his quarters. His balls tightened at the base of his purple and red cock as he finally spilled his load into you.

Your wide eyes took in every detail of his face in that moment. The tension built between your bodies snapped like a twig, his thighs trembled between yours, his seed spilled in heavy ropes inside you. You watched his face crack from euphoria to overstimulated in a nanosecond, not hesitating to dig your fingernails into his sides and hold him securely to you. You clenched your muscles fiercely, determined to milk him for all he was worth. He drew a hissing breath in between clenched teeth, his hands sliding heavily up the backs of your thighs and into your hair on either side of your head. He took you into an embrace and kissed you deeply.

His chest flush with yours, you wrapped your legs around his waist and arms around his massive shoulders. His cock stirred inside you, even in the wake of his come down he was large enough to stretch your tightening walls. You winced quietly close to his ear, the lack of stimulation making the sting more evident. He shuddered against you, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, mumbling a small sentiment which you could not make out completely. But he heard the words as they spilled from his traitorous lips, startled they had formed as thought, much more that they had made their way out of his mouth. “I love…d that.”

Your brow crumpled under his weight, making out the “uhv” sound from his mumblings. A small bloom formed hot and heavy in your breathless chest, recognizing the familiar sound. Your hands came up to his face, tracing your fingertips gently against his freshly shaved jaw. That jaw could cut steel, you traced it so gently, as if it might. He pulled his head back to face you, lids fluttering open and landing hesitantly on your face, he looked curious and satisfied and entirely exhausted. You smiled at him, coaxing a similarly sheepish grin from him as well.

“What’d you say?” You mumbled against his nose, which wrinkled under your lips.

His face twisted in fake exhaustion, a groan spilling from his ruddy lips. You snickered under his shifting weight. He pushed his palms against the bed and made his way slowly back to his knees, careful not to stir too much while still inside you. He winced as well, feeling himself shift up to the hilt. He steadied his hands against the underside of your thighs, right where they met your ass cheeks, and looked you in the eye. A warning. He pulled out slowly, timidly, careful not to hurt you. Once fully withdrawn, the sensitive tight hole squeezed out a hot stream of his spend. It dripped down your cheek and pooled onto the sheets.

“You’ve made a mess…” He teased.

Your brows crawled up your forehead.

“ _Me?_ ” You giggled.

He grinned, scooping his arms under your bottom, and securing his hands in a clasp behind your back. He picked you up with ease, your ankles locked loosely around his waist as he carried you to the restroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your breasts at his eye level. Kylo admired them as he carried you, watching them sway with his movement, proud when he spotted the silvery crescent bite marks he left scattered over your milky flesh. Enraptured at the line of bruise-colored kisses his mouth had tattooed on the swells of your skin. Feeling lightheaded as he could make out the distinct outline of his palms on your left breast from where he’d smacked you.

He’d marked your body in almost every way he could, loving how his claim looked against your frame. His lips pressed a chaste kiss to the imprint of his teeth marks against your collarbone, tongue wandering out to lap at the salty sweat that collected on your warm skin. Your head lulled back against your shoulders, hair spilling into his face. He looked up, aggravated, making you snicker wildly in his grasp. He dropped you a little unceremoniously into the empty tub, your raw bottom landing with a thud in the cold ceramic basin.

“Ow.” Your brows drew together, and your lips pouted in a lovely purse up at your superior.

He smirked wickedly, snickering against his wishes, unable to keep himself from laughing at your attempt to rub your sore ass cheek. He moved to the control panel, typing the instructions to fill the tub, and as the water began to run, he climbed into the basin to join you. Kylo splayed out; still not enough room to lay his legs flat, he bent them at the knee and beckoned you to nestle into him. You turned your back to him and backed up into the space between his thighs, feeling complete as he wrapped his arms around you and rested his head against your shoulder.

The water turned milky as a dispenser automatically added some soapy substance that smelled like sandalwood into the bathwater. You stirred the fragrance around with your foot, floating your legs out freely in front of the pair of you. You relaxed your back against his chest, spine melting gratefully into the contours of his strong but soft skin. His hands wandered mindlessly over your bare thighs, bringing water up to your exposed shoulders until the water rose to cover them. With the tub filled, the faucet shut off automatically and the two of you slipped into a surreal happiness together under the cover of warm water. Only aware of his own gentle breathing behind you before you slipped comfortably into a nap yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! If you're only here for the smut, I hope this pleases you; if you're here for the plot, I hope this pleases you; if you're here for all of it - I love you and we should be friends. :) Seriously, let me know what you all think. Comments give me the courage to keep posting. I'll post the next chapter next week - it needs loads of editing. Comments, concerns, questions, compliments, eh? :) Hate mail? :(


	11. A Side We Haven't Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter that examines a very short interchange between Kylo and our reader.

Your eyes found themselves partially, sleepily open at some point in the night. The silk of water was long gone, your unflinching limbs felt dry, and your body seemingly swayed in midair. Your lids parted to land fuzzy on Kylo’s face in the dim light. His eyes were shielded in shadow, you were unable to make out the shape of them – only the glitter from the restroom’s reflection in his glassy pupils. His hands shifted under you and one of his hands came to caress your face. Your lids fell shut defeatedly, humming with comfort as you vaguely realized he was supporting your entire weight cradled in one of his arms.

“Strong…” You mumbled as he lowered you to the downy paradise of his sheets.

A warm chuckle could be heard floating further away from you as you fell gently into the plush cloud of blankets. As you slipped further into the darkness of sleep, you heard his voice float seemingly out of the state of dreams. Surely- no, _certainly_ , you must have dreamt it. His voice was too soft, too gentle, lost somewhere in the air and coated in pillowy spun sugar. It must have been the sweetest figment of your over-active imagination, the sentence you heard hanging lovely in the room.

“Not strong enough to resist you, unfortunately…”

Even as you forgot you heard it, and certainly long forgotten by the morning, Kylo would not have forgotten it. It was most-assuredly said, with complete conviction, and an unwavering confidence. He meant it whole-heartedly, both bitterly and sweetly, and could not help himself from this sudden outburst of unwilling affection. He laid you in his bed and marveled as you curled your way into the home of his sheets, a newfound home but you had settled quickly, and it made his chest burn. He paced the perimeter of the bed, wanting to watch you fall soundly asleep before he joined you. Again, he marveled at you, long lashes sweeping your flushed cheeks as you slept.

The bath had recovered you well, he recalled the way your warm skin felt white hot against his in the silk of the perfumed water. He had slept only briefly, having spent the majority of his time watching you sleep against him. He traced your skin softly under the surface, observing the way your body responded to his touch. You had entered that tub broken, your body fatigued from his ruthlessness. But as he watched you sleep, you recovered. Your body answered his, lips parting while his fingertips danced across the swells of your breasts and circled the dusty pink buds. He grinned, despite himself, when they hardened even under the warmth of the water. And again, when his fingertips found their way lower, his breath escaped him as you parted your legs in your sleep. You opened up, even in your dreams, he slipped easily into your thoughts. Watching himself in your memories, he admired the golden light you cast him in.

And now, in the silvery darkness of his room, you dreamt of him again. He could slide into your head when you were unguarded like this, easily, like he could with most everyone else; but you were different. Your thoughts were guarded, not easily read, and Kylo had to pry his way in most of the time. He lost sleep tonight, watching you sleep and watching your dreams. When your thoughts wandered back to him, as they typically did, he found himself looking different than he saw in his reflection. Even when he was cross with you, you didn’t flinch; you were unafraid of him, and he absolutely marveled at it.

Kylo hadn’t bothered with dressing you, admiring the way your skin slid softly against the green of his sheets. He dressed himself in the lowlight of his room, taking another long glance back at you, wrapped snugly into his blankets. He smiled in the dark, a warmth making his chest heavy and full. He tried to shake the sense back into his head as he turned into his office. As he lowered himself into his chair and sat to face the desk, he poked the data pad on the desktop awake. He settled himself to sort through incoming messages, location reports, and other forms of business while you slept soundly in the other room. He longed to join you but worried his largeness would crowd you again.

Kylo was aware that the previous evening he had not moved an inch since crawling in behind you. He could sense you throughout the day, sore from laying so still all night long. He found that he couldn’t focus on work – he couldn’t even bring himself to stew over the unknown whereabouts of the droid. His thoughts kept fizzing out and wandering back to you in his bed. With a resigned sigh, he peered around the corner to catch a glimpse of your feet shifting at the edge of the bed. He smiled again before turning back to the data pad and beginning a search.

He typed the words into the search bar with an incredible grin on his face, surprised with how many results came back from his search. He scrolled and browsed, paying little to no mind to the credits listed under cost. Finally, he found one to his liking and bought it without another thought, scheduling its delivery for tomorrow afternoon. He glanced at the time, unable to stay awake a moment longer, and found you completely flipped in his bed. Your head where your feet should be, your feet tucked up onto his headboard, he knew he made the right decision. Careful not to wake you, he retrieved the fallen pillows from the floor and arranged them at the foot of the bed where you had claimed your sleeping position.

Even more carefully, he lowered his largeness into bed behind you, nestling his too-long legs against the headboard and curling his arms up behind your shoulders. Twisted in what should have been an uncomfortable position, his muscles relaxed into a comfortable contortion around your sleeping frame. Humming contentedly, he nestled his face into the dip between your shoulder blades. His cock stirred when you wriggled your ass back into the space between his hips, he smiled against your bare skin. In the final moments before he fell asleep, he listened to your heart fall in tune with his own, barely able to distinguish that it was actually his heart falling in line with yours.

That next morning was a slow one. You had woken in the early hours more than once, not necessarily uncomfortable, but anxious to sneak a peak back at your sleeping bedmate. Though he’d caught you nearly every time. You planned out your attempts through sleepily half-shut eyes, making your pivots and snuggles seem unstudied and inconspicuous, often not staying awake long enough to follow through on your efforts. You had successfully rolled towards him in your sleep, enough to catch a quick glance at him through heavy eyelids. A glance was not enough, however; you roused yourself gently, forcing open your sleepy eyes to fall on him.

No stretch of the imagination could have created a better sight than the one in front of you. His slanted eyelids were closed, soundly, long lashes settled on his high cheekbones. His full lips were parted and ruddy pink, soft breaths pouring out and sucked back in over and over again. His arms reflected the rolling muscles which tensed around your stomach and chest, pulling you more securely to him. You lifted your free hand to hover gently over his jaw, tempted to trace your fingertip along the skin and bone. As if on cue, his eyelids snapped open; somewhat too quickly to match the magic of the moment and narrowed on you immediately. Boldly, you smiled sleepily, and your fingertip landed against his skin. To your surprise, his eyes crinkled shut and his lips turned into a lovely little smile.

A sleepy moan cascaded through his shut lips and he burrowed his face into your bare chest, arms pulling you snugly into his embrace. Your own eyes shut contentedly, and your fingertips felt slowly around his jaw and the muscles in his neck. His lips placed sloppy open-mouthed kisses to your breasts, craning his neck to allow you more access to his skin. Your hands slid blindly and curiously down his shoulders, admiring the way his muscles relaxed under your hands. His kisses turned less insistent, your wandering hands turned lazy down his midback, and the two of you fell back to sleep; facing each other, his face buried in the warmth of your chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter is short - I really wanted to place emphasis on the feel and implications of this short scene, and I wanted to see what you all thought of it. Let me know :)


	12. Accusations & Dissections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is plot heavy - no smut.  
> Our reader faces the opinions her peers have of Commander Ren and is forced to dissect rumor from truth to discover what's real.

Kylo had roused you earlier than you were prepared for, saying something about the alarm mechanism that he didn’t have time for.

“We’ll fix that soon, I promise.” His voice sounded the smallest bit apologetic coming through the helmet’s modulator.

You mumbled incoherently, eyes drifting closed once more as you snuggled into the sheets. Without warning, the comforter was ripped away from your body, leaving your bare skin exposed to the chilly morning air. You groaned, eyes falling on Kylo’s helmet with so much hatred you were sure you could have burned a hole through the metal. He was unafraid, balling up the fabric between his hands before discarding it in the laundry bin on the wall. You drew your knees to your chest, shivering, and shook your hair loose to cover your cold shoulders. He came closer to you and rubbed his gloved hands over your arms.

“Get up. You report to the shuttle at 09:00. You shouldn’t be late.”

As much as you wanted to melt into his touch, you knew he was right. You looked up into his mask, longing to see the face underneath. He cocked his head at you, clearly wondering what you were thinking. Gently, you raised your tiny fingers to the locks on either side of his helmet and pushed them with a small click. The snout raised and his hands came to cover yours as he helped you discard the sheath of metal. You were hoping to get a quick peek at his bedhead again, slightly disappointed to find he must have had the time to comb through it.

He smiled warmly at you.

“Is this not too weird?” You asked quietly.

He frowned, brows knit together over his eyes.

“What?”

“You and me? Don’t you think this is strange?”

You let your fingertip smooth the crease between his brows.

“Hm. No.” He pursed his lips and scooped you from the bed.

You giggled as he sat you gently on your feet. You turned to the bed, hands finding the mess of sheets and beginning to straighten them out. He gently grabbed your hands and pulled you back to his chest.

“Don’t worry about that. I have someone coming to fix them.” He said quietly into your hair.

“I don’t mind.” You said, kissing his throat.

He hummed contentedly, his baritone vibrating against your lips.

“Seriously, it would all be for not, I’m afraid.” He insisted.

You sighed, resigning to search for your clothes. You found them folded, on his office desk, missing your underwear again, unfortunately. You looked up at him as you dressed, watching him busy his attention with his data pad. You eyed him until you were clothed, sitting in his chair to pull your boots onto your feet. He met your eyes then, sending a wet heat flooding between your legs. This would be a long day with no undergarments to guard you.

“When will you stop ripping my underwear off of me?” You smirked.

He deliberated a moment.

“When you stop wearing them.” He answered simply.

You frowned at that, tying your laces in tight knots.

His data pad vibrated in his palm, directing his gaze to its screen, and he shifted.

“Let’s go. I don’t have time to fix your biometrics this morning.” He held out a hand to you.

The pair of you exited, stepping into the barren hallway.

“Do you have neighbors?” You asked quietly, having never seen a soul in this hallway.

Not that you were complaining. It made leaving every morning fairly simple, without the risk of others seeing you. A strange sound broke through his mask’s modulator a moment later. At first, it was muffled a staticky – possibly a choke? But no, you understood a moment later, with the addition of his shaking shoulders, he was laughing.

“What?” You asked, brows furrowing to guard yourself, in the likely case he was laughing at your expense.

“Yes,” He said through shaky breaths. “I have neighbors.”

Your conversation was left at that, as the two of you departed in different directions.

\------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later found you floating on a cloud once more. Even after landing, you were sure some piece of your soul was left up there in the strange snowy atmosphere of this planet. The snow had been especially bright that morning, distracting your morning routine of counting crafts in the hangar bay – your full attention had been directed to the freshly falling snow. That is, until flight. You became vaguely aware, as you were unbuckling your safety restraints, that Officer Bailey was prattling on cheerfully behind you. His chipper voice getting louder and closer.

“… really, really fantastic! One might even go as far to say ‘brilliant,’ and you’re so young too. Incredible.” He came into sight now, gushing once more at your capabilities.

You had to admit that you loved it. You had feared his training would be a headache, but it was proving to be quite the ego boost, a stark contrast from spending so much of your time with the Commander. You shook him from your thoughts roughly, not fond of how he would just appear in your thoughts like that. You were desperate to remain detached. You had been repeating a new mantra to yourself all morning: _He’s just sex. Just sex. Just sex._

It came to your attention, then, that you had lost yourself in your own thoughts again. Officer Bailey was looking down at you expectantly, hand extended to help you up. You took his hand with a small, apologetic smile, mind reeling back to find the topic of discussion so that you might be able to answer him.

“Thank you!” You settled for an appreciative acknowledgment, admittedly having no recollection of what he’d just complimented you for.

The intensity of his friendly smile was growing uncomfortable, making you uneasy in your skin. You stood, creating some distance between the two of you.

“I suppose I’m still rather fortunate – to have been granted this position with the Command Shuttle.” You mused, watching his reaction under your lashes.

He swallowed, visibly, likely understanding your reference to the day before when he had insinuated you might be too young or too inexperienced to have earned your position.

He smiled, accepting defeat gracefully but not quite man enough to own up to it. Men who couldn’t own their mistakes had always seemed so unattractive to you.

“It must have been luck.” You pressed on, eyebrows raising in mock defeat, hands held in front of you almost defensively.

“We’re all a little lucky.” He said brightly.

You frowned at that. “Yes, fortunate to work for The First Order.” You continued, taking the conversation in any other direction.

He laughed then, clasping his hands together dramatically in front of himself.

“Now that, I might have to disagree with you on!” He wheezed between heavy breaths of laughter.

You could feel your brow furrow and your eyes narrow, immune to the laughter which rolled through him.

He noted your lack of a response and straightened his back, still snorting lightly through his come down.

“I don’t know how much you’ll be working.” He explained, smile splitting his cocky face.

“More like babysitting the man-child we have for a Commander.” He finished, crossing his arms, pleased with himself.

Now that – you laughed at.

You doubled over, tears threatened to well up behind your eyes at hilarity took over you. He was pleased with himself, finding your laughter contagious and joining in – clearly one to toot his own horn. You laughed for a few moments more before falling completely silent, dead pan glare fixed on him as his laughter died out at the severity of your energy.

“That’s no way to speak about our Commander.” You said sternly.

His lips parted, as if he might come to his own defense. You would not allow it.

“No. That’s absolutely no way to speak about _any_ superior, but certainly not our Commander. He would not hesitate to kill you for treason, were he to hear you speak of him in this way.” You fought to keep your voice level, calm; simply stating facts as any loyalist would.

“That’s exactly my point: he’s violent, unpredictable, and often times his priorities do not align with the First Order’s agenda.” He retorted, arms folded tightly against his chest.

You thought a moment, mulling the words around in your mouth before you spoke.

“Where one might see violence, another might see a man taking necessary actions to defend his cause.” You spoke slowly.

“Bu-!” Bailey tried to interject. You held a hand up, continuing to speak.

“And as for ‘unpredictable’ and his priorities – we are pilots. It’s not our place to question his missions or his actions. I’m sure he does what he must to defend us all.”

You’re voice was losing some of its steam, coming off as too adoring and less factual. Thankfully, the fuming officer didn’t seem to notice. His arm extended, finger pointed to the shiny metal wall on the interior of the craft, the newly replaced wall you had noticed a while back. His brows raised.

“ _That_ is damage down by our Commander – _to his own ship_.” He paused for effect.

It worked. Your mouth dropped open, shocked.

“Yes. This is frequent, you see. He will have tantrums like a child, igniting his laser sword and swinging all about the cabin – _midflight!_ ” Officer Bailey swung his limbs at his sides dramatically, the awkward flailing of limbs almost comical. You suppressed a snicker in reverence of the gravity of the moment.

“That’s why I’m resigning. It’s too constant – too much. He’s dangerous to those around him and I don’t want to be around when he blows this ship to pieces.”

The honesty and severity of his words hit you all at once, realizing just how close you were to the man he was speaking of. You stared at the wall, looking at the lines where the engineers had welded the new metal to the old, taking in the size and extent of the damage he must have done, only realizing moments later that the panel used to be a seat for an on-flight engineer. Your eyes glued to the bolt marks on the floor where a chair used to be. You wondered if that poor soul was the target of his barbarity.

Meanwhile, Officer Bailey watched you piece things together in your head. Suddenly he felt ashamed, responsible even, for scaring you away from your first position with this organization. He contemplated, watching your eyes turn misty as you took in the twisted metal, contemplating what he might be able to say to diffuse the tension the two of you had created in the shuttle today.

“You shouldn't be his shuttle pilot…” He started warily.

You looked to him, eyes wide and glassy.

“…You should be in combat. They could really use you!" He added, chipperly.

"Thank you, sir." You said through tight lips.

"We're going to take lunch and I'll report to the Commander for your uniform. With his approval, I'd love to get you in a Tie Fighter.” He said, hopeful this would please you.

 _A Tie Fighter?_ Your stomach dropped like you had suddenly lost altitude, but you were grounded.

"Wow, thank you, sir.” You smiled, ready to forget the mangled wall in front of you.

“Please, call me Kent.” He returned the smile.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane and yourself had met up for lunch again, both of sharing your days. You emitted rather larger details about your Commander, however.

“I still can’t believe he would attack his own man… on his own ship.” Jane said quietly.

You had to admit that you agreed with her. But how could you deny what you saw with your own eyes?

“I know… it’s hard to believe.” You said just as quietly, forking a strange purple vegetation on your plate.

She examined on your fork, poking at it with her knife.

“And you train with him… that’s terrifying.” She picked the purple substance apart, dissecting it in midair.

You watched your friend play with her food while you dissected the facts in your head. Clearly he was temperamental, you had known this already. But deadly? No, you couldn’t see him doing something cruel like beheading an officer in his own Command Shuttle. You couldn’t see the same man who had been breathing softly next to you, arms wrapped around your waist, head tilted back to expose his muscular neck to your lips just this morning…. _Where was I going with that?_

You looked to Jane who was looking back at you expectantly.

“I’m sorry, what?” You fumbled, looking back to the surgery she’d been performing on your vegetation.

“Sorry,” She said your name. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Honestly, I’m sure he’s not dangerous to you. You only train with him for a while, right?”

Unsure, you nodded hesitantly. This seemed to be enough to please her. You continued some small talk for a while until your table was approached by a familiar face. Officer Bailey greeted you, less than enthusiastic, and you asked him to join Jane and yourself. He sat his tray on the table and you introduced the two.

"Officer Bailey, this is my friend Jane. She's assigned to Med Bay six. She's a nurse. Jane, this is Officer Bailey. He's been training me this morning on the Shuttle."

They shook hands.

"Kent,” He corrected, turning to her. “It's nice to meet you, Jane. Always a good thing to meet nurses. You never know when you’ll get banged up.”

She giggled furiously and you shot her a look from the side of your eye, eyebrows raised. She met it with a warning on her face. You smiled, knowingly, looking down at the table. _Someone's flirting..._ you thought.

"Well, Knight. I reported to The Commander about the Tie Fighter."

"Tie Fighter? Jane's eyes went wide, like they often do. Bailey looked back at her, with a brief smile.

"Yes!" He turned back to you. "Unfortunately, The Commander refused my request. He gave me strict instructions to continue your shuttle training, as scheduled."

"Oh," Your heart fell. "Well, did you get my uniform?" You searched his person.

"No, he instructed me that he would have them delivered to you."

You were crestfallen. Where you were feeling elated twenty minutes ago, you now felt deflated.

"Oh, okay. Are we continuing training today?"

He smiled, then. "No, I think you've done well with that. The Commander said he would fly with us tomorrow. Until then, I suppose you just go to training after lunch."

You supposed you had better leave the mess hall to keep up the facade. You excused yourself quietly, leaving Jane and Officer Bailey to mingle on their own. As you left the mess hall, you hung your head. You wanted to go back to the Shuttle and get back in the air, and you certainly didn't want to go to the training room where Commander Ren and his knight, Cardo would be waiting on you. At first you thought it was Cardo you didn’t want to see, but as you walked towards your room, you realized it was Kylo. You didn't want to admit it at first, but part of you was angry with him.

He had thwarted an opportunity for you, an incredible opportunity, to fly a Tie Fighter. You felt The Force snap into your head. It had hit you so quick and hard that you tripped and fell to the ground. An officer stopped to help you up. Your skull was on fire, you squinted against the bright lights of the hall. The officer at your side was saying something, but you couldn't make it out. You shoved the sound away from your throbbing head.

"Are you okay?" You finally heard him clearly.

"Yes, gods. I'm sorry." You stumbled against him, hand grasped his tightly to pull yourself up.

"Let me help you." He said, entirely too close to your head. You hadn't turned to look at him, you just locked your jaw and shook your head.

"No, my room is just up here. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked again.

Every time he spoke, your head went into flames.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks." You walked away quickly, trying to distance yourself from noise and light.

_Kylo! Get the fuck out of my head._

This burn was much more intense than other times before; even the exertion of thinking hurt. Kylo's voice didn't pop into your mind.

You palmed the control panel outside your quarters furiously and collapsed inside when they opened. Your room was dark from the time away. The door whizzed behind you and you crawled, on hands and knees, to the bed. Your eyes shut tight, you had reached the foot of the bed when the pain had subsided a bit.

Just enough for you to think towards the assailant again.

_What the fuck? This hurts!_

The door whizzed open, you turned to see Kylo Ren in the doorway. The pain lifted from your head all at once and the door shut behind him, he discarded his helmet in a blur.

You pulled yourself from the ground, body all rage.

"What the _fuck_ was that? What do you need so badly? What do you want to see?!" You snapped at him.

Confusion spread over his face like a cloud.

"Wh-"

"WHAT" You cut him off. "Is your problem!?"

Anger registered, then, on his face. He took a small breath and cocked his head.

"What's going on?" He asked through clenched teeth.

You laughed humorlessly.

"Like you don't know. You've been in my head, why don't you tell me?" Fury rose in your chest.

You could tell he was also furious, the two of you stared at each other in silence for a long moment.

"What happened?" He asked, as calmly as he could manage.

You noticed, then, his hands were balled in fists at his side, leather cutting into leather.

"Your ‘Force fucking’ really hurt that time, jackass. You essentially _debilitated_ me!"

His face twisted in confusion.

"I wasn't in your head.."

Your eyes went wide, though you hadn't quite registered what he said, fully. You hadn’t considered any other explanation.

"Then how did you do that?" You asked, confused.

"I didn't do _anything._ I sensed your pain, so I came looking for you. What did you feel?"

You looked at your feet, embarrassed that you had yelled at him and scared of what had happened.

"What did you feel?" He asked again.

"I was on my way here and it felt just like the Force. But it hit me quicker than it has before. It was just there — all at once. And it burned like someone had poured acid into my skull. The lights hurt my eyes and sounds hurt. It was overwhelming."

He stood motionless, listening to every detail. His face was grave, concerned even. When you were done, he reached a hand to you. You wanted to take it so badly, but you stood fast, eyes meeting his.

"What was it?" You demanded.

"I don't know.” He admitted.

He didn’t _know_? _He_ didn’t _know_. What the fuck did he mean ‘he didn’t know?’ He was supposed to be the one who knows this shit. Anger bubbled up again, threatening to turn to vomit in your thick throat. He was supposed to have answers. Which reminded you: you were still angry at him over something you'd known he'd done.

"Why wouldn't you allow Officer Bailey to train me on a Tie Fighter?" You asked, before thinking.

His expression lost some of its concern.

"What?"

"Officer Bailey told me he had asked you if I could fly a Tie Fighter for training. You refused the request _and_ you refused him my uniform."

"Officer Bailey did not inquire about Tie Fighter training. Why would he? And he informed me that you would collect your uniform from me at training."

Your thoughts spun around. What, had Bailey lied to you? Surely not, what reason would he have to lie? No, really: why would he lie? Was the story about the shuttle damage a lie? Your head hurt.

"So, then you should have no issue with me flying a Tie Fighter." You said, plainly.

His patience was wearing thin, you could see it, but you couldn't stop yourself. Nothing was making sense. You vomited the accusation at him, unable to stop the words from spilling off your lips. You watched him take a steadying breath, suspicious of him cooking up a lie. Was everyone lying to you?

"I don't care what you fly as long as you're able to pilot it safely." He took a step toward you.

"For now,” He continued, softly. “It appears you’ve been lied to. And I think perhaps you’re more sensitive to the Force than I thought. Can I help?"

His tone was soft, his face registered concern again. He was so beautiful you could cry. In fact, you wanted to cry. He was absolutely right; whatever happened in the hall and taken so much out of you, you were exhausted. But on top of that, you had also yelled at your Commander for things that weren't his fault, or perhaps weren’t his fault, and not only were you ashamed, but you were sure you would be punished. And yet, there he was, taking all that into account, and still wanting to comfort you. You didn't deserve it. You knew you deserved punishment. You deserved for him to yell at you. You didn't want him to, but you knew he should. An endless parade of feelings and thoughts ran through you, but you were so exhausted, you couldn't bring yourself to speak.

Kylo seemed to understand. He took another step toward you, tentatively. After assessing your reaction, or lack thereof, he closed the space in one large stride and embraced you. You had only realized upon contact with his massive chest that you were shaking and sobbing softly. You wondered idly how long you'd been doing that. He held you for a while, arms steel cables around your quaking frame. You melted into him, letting out waves of sobs and sniffles. At first he held you like a breakable object, gently. Then his hold was tight and encompassing, like he could protect you even if the walls came crashing down all around the pair of you. Eventually, he removed a glove from his right hand and stroked your hair, his fingers pressed gently to your scalp.

After a little bit, he whispered.

"Can I see inside your head?"

Your heart jumped, thumping rapidly in your chest. You remembered the pain in the hallway and shook your head against his chest, tears smearing on his armor.

"If you let me in, it won't hurt. I promise." He whispered again.

"You said it would always hurt!" You protested, meekly, recalling his own words.

“I _promise_." He repeated again.

You didn't want to believe him, but you knew you did. Your sobs faded slowly into nothing and you raised your chin to face him. He was looking down at you, empathy glowed in his features like a dying star. You trusted him – even with the knowledge that was thrust upon you that morning. You knew that you trusted Kylo.

"How do I let you in?" You squeaked.

"Just reach out to me, with your mind."

He whispered so quietly you barely heard him, like he thought your head might still be aching. You tried as he'd asked, felt forward, imagining a barrier, and willing your defenses down. Nothing felt different, except perhaps you began to feel a little lightheaded. Likely from the amount of effort you were exerting to do nothing.

"It isn't working.." You whispered into his chest.

"Shh. Yes it is."

You stood still, assessing yourself. You felt nothing aside from that light headedness. You tried pushing a thought at him.

_Can you see everything?_

"Hmm. No, just whatever you're thinking of at the moment."

  
Without hesitating, you brought the events in the hall to your mind, and the walk from the mess hall. You pulled the brief discussion with Officer Bailey forward and even on back to flying the Shuttle. You looked up at Kylo then and tried very hard not to feel the way you did about what you saw.

His eyes were shut, lids fluttering lightly, eyelashes brushing his cheek. He smiled.

"Go back to lunch. I know what I look like."

His voice was soft and gentle, you could feel yourself jellifying, your knees were going a little weak. Being this close to him was driving you insane, your thoughts didn’t go back to lunch. You brought them back to the night before, your body underneath his on the bed, your skin sticking together through the sheen of sweat.

"No, there's no time for that." He chuckled.

You pulled away to look back up at him, pleading in your eyes. He returned the same wanting gaze. You thought louder at him. Images of his warm, hard body cuddled behind you, images of his hands on your back in the bath. You brought your thoughts all the way back to that first kiss in your bedroom.

" _Okay_. Twist my rubber arm." He whispered.

He bent his head to yours, his lips just barely meeting your own. He brushed them down your chin to your throat and planted a long, warm kiss there. Fire spread from the spot, threatening to consume you in flames. You tried to tug his face back to yours, fingers clasped around either of his ears and tugged gently.

"Ow." He said quietly.

Your eyes fell shut and your lips searched for his. Finally, they met, his biceps coiled around you tighter.

 _Are you still here?_ Your thoughts went out to him.

"Mhm." He murmured into your mouth.

_Can you feel all this, too?_

You gently pushed your tongue into his mouth, tracing it carefully against his sharp teeth. Another agreeable moan came from his lips. You pulled away and looked up at him, again.

"Can I come over early tonight?" You asked, suddenly feeling small and desperate.

You wanted more time with him, wanted to feel small and helpless and controlled. You wanted to be his, all night long. He read all those thoughts and swallowed thickly.

“I can do that.” He said throatily. “I can take care of you like that.” He smiled warmly.

“Can I come over early?” You asked again; he frowned a bit.

"I can't do much earlier." He looked down, pulling his data pad from his belt. "I've already been here too long. We risk someone seeing me leave, at this point."

You pouted, your bottom lip jutting out.

“Oh, come on now. Don’t do that.” He whispered, pleadingly.

His hand came up to caress your face, his large thumb gently pressing down on your pouting lower lip. You pouted more, laying it on thick. He sighed, his eyes boring down into yours before he shifted his attention to your lip, pushing carefully. He was thinking. You wished you could hear his thoughts like he could hear yours. He was quiet for another moment, then, with another glance at his data pad, he released you. He began situating the cloak over his shoulders again when he spoke.

“Why don’t you go train until closer to time.” He suggested. “I can collect you when I’m finished for the day.”

You frowned. “I don’t want to see your knight. I don’t want to train. My head hurts.”

He pouted his bottom lip, mockingly mirroring your face. “Don’t train with the Force. Just train, get all this off your mind. I’ll come get you later.”

You guessed that would have to do. You nodded obediently and he smiled down at you. His smile was warm and reassuring and it surprised you how kind he could be. His eyes seemed to go distant for a moment or two, like he was searching for a thought. You realized, faintly, that he wasn’t in your mind anymore.

“The hall is clear. I should go now while I have a chance.” He placed his helmet over his head, locks hissed shut.

“I have you on the run, Commander.” You smiled.

His head shook gently from side to side as he turned away from you. You were sure there was a chuckle you couldn’t hear; muffled by his helmet and synthesizer. He moved towards the door, which slid into the wall on command, and he left your room. You didn’t check after him to be sure no one saw as he left. You knew that Kylo Ren would know best. Your faith in him didn’t falter for a moment. If he didn’t want to be seen; then he wouldn’t have been.

Instead, you turned as the door shut behind him and looked at your room. How was it possible that you felt like you hadn’t been there for days? You looked around, unsure of what felt so uneasy about the space. You waited a few minutes but couldn’t place your finger on it. You walked yourself over to the dresser and collected a fresh set of clothing and some underwear, since your previous pairs were dismembered and discarded in Kylo Ren’s quarters.

When you had finished changing, you weren’t in any rush to go to the training room and you figured you could go ahead and pack for your stay on The Finalizer. You got on your knees by the side of the bed and reached underneath for an empty luggage bag. Your hands fumbled blindly, before landing on a leather strap. You pulled it into sight. Wrong bag. This was the bag of unnecessary clothing your mother had packed for you.

Curiosity got the best of you and you took a quick peek in the top of the bag. A shiny, red satin night gown was the first thing your fingers touched. It was slick and cold, with lace trim on the hem and small straps. On one hand, you were disgusted your mother had thought it was an appropriate thing to buy you, much less to pack for your assignment. As if a pilot of The First Order would ever have a use for an item like that. On the other hand, you hadn’t expected in the slightest to have a man you wanted to impress while stationed here. But now you did. And something told you Kylo Ren may appreciate the scanty piece of fabric. You appraised it for a few moments, weighing it in your hands. Honestly, it was such a small article of clothing that it couldn’t take up any space if you packed it. No harm, no space lost. Right?

You tossed the gown onto the bed and rifled through the rest of the bag she’d packed. You didn’t find much else that intrigued or suited you. A few blouses you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing and a few dresses that you had no use for. You stuffed the bag back under the bed and continued the search for the empty one. Finally, you pulled it from the furthest corner possible and began to pack all the essentials. Once done, you glanced back to the bed.

The red nightgown seemed pleading. You stared at it for a moment before you snatched it into your hands and pushed it to the bottom of the bag. _Just in case._ You placed the bag on the bed and pulled your boots on over your feet. You supposed you had used up as much time as you could and could no longer avoid going to train. You fixed your data pad to your belt and left the room without another thought.

The walk to the training room was short and uneventful. The training hall in Sector C was deserted, as per usual. Most higher-class officers weren't training often at this point in their careers. And the Stormtroopers trained in Sector B, so there wasn't usually anyone in these rooms. You walked to the room Kylo had you train in, pulled back the door and typed your information into the data pad. It prompted for your supervisor/trainer name. 'Commander Ren' was the only option that appeared in the drop bar. Your index finger hovered over his name for a second before typing 'no trainer' into the panel. It completed the log successfully and you turned to the left wall.

The weapon wall was daunting. You weren’t sure whether or not to train with one, so you steered clear. You could shoot just fine, better than Stormtroopers, at least. Instead, you followed your superior's lead and settled yourself down at a bench for weight training. You started with 70 pounds, being sure to wipe down your hands before you began. Hours passed before Kylo came to get you. The large window to the training room had become a mirror, the outside too dark to show any more of the snowy landscape. You had moved on from weights pretty early on into the evening and attempted to practice punching the dummy. You had just finished another repetition of parries when you saw Kylo's reflection in the glass.

You turned to him, fists relaxing at your sides. He kept his helmet on, the hard metal reflecting your face in the screen. He stood silently, hands behind his back. You wanted to run into his arms but weren’t sure if the arrangement we had extended to the training room. Likely not. Instead, you glanced behind him, to ensure he was alone. When you knew he was, you smiled up at him.

"Good evening, Commander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't entirely happy with this chapter. I really wanted there to be more substance and more angst, but I hate to write about characters in pain. It just kills me. Let me know what you all think. I posted two chapters today, because I can. As always: questions, comments, concerns, are always appreciated. Xo All my love!!


	13. Dissected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your heart turned heavy at the thought that you may not be returning."

****Kylo's Perspective****

"Good evening, Commander." Her voice was honeyed, like liquid gold.

She was a desert mirage. A complete work of fiction. Her face was ruddy from exertion and a thin sheen of sweat glistened off her skin. Small hairs stuck to either side of her face and her chest was falling and rising ever so slightly more than usual. Like she was close to catching her breath. He wanted so badly to make her lose it again.

"What have you done for training?" He asked, embarrassed that a small crack in his voice had slipped through the helmet's synthesizer.

"Weights and hand combat." She replied, coolly.

He could see her swallow; could almost hear it in the silence of the training room. His eyes fixated on her throat, on the thought of wrapping his hand around it and forcing her down to her knees in front of him. He felt a familiar flex in his pants and shifted slightly to conceal it. Her eyes were on the ground, not meeting her own reflection in his mask.

"Come here." He ordered.

She did as instructed, coming closer to where he stood in the middle of the room. When she had reached a safe distance of about five feet away, he held up his hand, instructing her to stop. She came to a halt in front of him while he searched her face for a moment. Unsure if he was going to ask her to do what he wanted her to do.

She looked up at him, eyes partially hidden by her heavy lashes. He twisted his hands together behind his back and shifted his weight. He could feel himself growing bolder; desire soon growing too strong to suppress. He choked back the remaining hesitation and focused his energy to project into her thoughts. The Force crept around the two of them for a moment, then rushed through him, turning his thoughts into a tunnel. He directed that tunnel at her and thought clearly.

_Take off your panties._

Her reaction was almost immediate. Her eyes went wide, her cheeks became a deep red and she swallowed hard, the small wet noise filled Kylo’s eardrums. Another nudge in his pants made him shift his weight, uncomfortably. Her mouth dropped open, slowly.

"What?" She whispered. Her cheeks must have felt like fire.

"You heard me." The synthesizer had done its job this time and his voice came out smooth and contained.

She blinked furiously before glancing around the room and behind him at the door. Then, she bit her lip, clearly considering the directive he had given her.

"Now?" She asked.

He nodded, hands wringing together behind his back. He summoned The Force against the door to the training room, keeping it shut in the unlikely event someone would attempt to walk in. He watched as she looked behind her, toward the open wall that led to the dark outside.

Kylo had anticipated for her to ask if anyone outside could see her, or debate the order, but she didn't. To his surprise, she tucked her fingers into the waistband of her pants and pulled them gently. Slowly, she peeled them off of her, revealing the smooth, pale skin of her thighs and her black panties. She kept her shoes on; the tall boots landing just below her knees.

She drew each foot out of the bottom of the legs and kicked the pants away from her on the floor. She stood there for a moment, knees touching, and thighs pressed tightly together. His erection was becoming too needy, he had to readjust with his hand. She watched him do so, her lips turning up into a small smile.

Then, she took a step forward. It seemed her eyes were fixed on his. Though, he knew that couldn't be the case since she couldn't see his eyes, he felt the connection anyway. She stopped about a foot in front of him and bent, pulling her panties down to her ankles and balling them up in her right hand. Her smile still played at the corner of her lips as she stood straight, holding out the undergarments to her Commander.

He took them, wound them in between his fingers and glanced down at her bare legs. Before he could adjust his gaze higher up, she turned abruptly and walked away from him a bit. She bent over her pants on the floor, giving him a full view of her backside and a small preview of the glistening slit in between her legs. His cock throbbed against the fabric of his pants, begging to be let out. As she pulled her pants back over her knees, a breath got stuck in his throat. He was forced to clear it, which wasn't hidden at all by the synthesizer and she glanced back at him, smirking. He attempted to stand casually, but his erection was making that quite difficult. She adjusted the pants back at her hips and fastened them shut. He withdrew The Force from against the door and glanced at his data pad. If they left now, they wouldn't likely run into anyone in the halls. Hux was conducting an assembly which would begin in five minutes and all of Sector C would be there. He looked back to her and held out a hand.

"Let's go."

She wavered for a moment. "How?"

"Hux is holding an assembly." He answered, urging her forward.

She understood and immediately joined his side. They turned and walked together, leaving the training room. Once they were in the hall, she glanced over at his hand. He held up the hand with her underwear wound tightly in between his fingers and she blushed again. She laughed, a glorious, melodious sound which made his heart rate falter. He licked my lips in the privacy of the helmet. It was strange to walk together in the hall, their relationship was entirely confidential and to be side by side in what was, essentially, a public space was nerve wracking. The two boarded an elevator and rode down to his level. She seemed nervous at his side. A part of him wanted to reach into her mind and see what she was thinking.

Another part of him knew that she was shaken from whatever had happened earlier. He would have to consult Leader Snoke. Surely, it couldn't have been another Force user on Star Killer. But Snoke would be able to discover the truth. He would know what to do. Kylo trusted that, entirely. He did not trust, however, how she might react to another bout of 'Force fucking' as she had so eloquently phrased it.

When they had reached his quarters, he stuffed her undergarments into his back pocket, removed his glove from one hand and pressed the palm to the panel lock. The door slid into the wall a moment later and he stepped aside to allow her to enter first. Once she was inside, Kylo felt his heart beating wildly out of tune in his broad chest. The urge to completely lose control was difficult to overcome, but he managed it, somehow.

He removed the helmet first, allowing his hair to fall freely at his shoulders. He would need a haircut soon, he knew, but it was always a difficult affair. Either he had a droid do it, which always ended up too straight or take the chance of someone on base cutting it. Which were usually women who couldn't help but gawk at him. He couldn't ever decide which one was more uncomfortable.

She stood awkwardly, waiting for him to finish taking off his cloak. He unwrapped the cowl from around his neck and pulled the remaining heavy fabric off of his shoulders. He looked down at her, she suddenly seemed too far away. He afforded himself a small loss of control when he reached out, grabbed her by the waist with one hand and pulled her close. She smiled warmly and he found himself smiling back.

"Go ahead and take off your shoes. We're in for the night." He began working on his own boots, unbuckling them at the top.

She bent as well, tugging at the laces of her combat boots, and sliding each foot free. "I didn't know the General was holding an assembly. Should I be there?"

Her question was rational, but her voice a little worried.

"I shouldn't think so. You're a beginning class officer. The assembly is only for active duty. And, officially, your assignment doesn't begin until we leave for the Finalizer."

She frowned a bit, which confused him. He wanted to ask but had seen in her thoughts that her father had potential to be a sensitive topic. He stood quietly for a moment, until they had gotten their boots off. He watched her as she twisted her fingers together and apart. Kylo realized, with a pang in his chest, that she was nervous. Only secondarily realizing they hadn't discussed whether or not she wanted to continue this.

He swallowed hard, suppressing a small fear of being rejected, shoving it far down inside of him, suffocating it under layers of muscle and years of training. He cleared his throat and attempted to look unphased. The sudden noise had startled her, and she flinched, her eyes darting up to meet his. He ignored the inquisitive look in them, determined to speak before his fears clawed their way to the surface.

"Have you decided if you want this to continue?" He asked.

His voice wavered a bit near the end, but he thought the question itself seemed heavy enough to turn her attention away from it. She nodded slowly, eyes hiding partially behind those long lashes. His hand ached with wanting to cup her cheek and pull her face up to his, but he stood still, keeping a hard grip on his fears. What if she said no? The fear bubbled up inside his chest again, thoughts running away from him.

"And?" His voice cracked. _Damn._

She squared her shoulders a bit, facing him more directly.

"I do." She admitted a little sheepishly. "Do you?"

 _Of course, I do!_ His heart responded, but never made its way past his lips.

"Yes." Came instead, cool, and quiet.

She didn't seem offended, though he was offended for her. He knew how she always wished a relationship would be, and he knew that she longed to be loved, but he also knew that he could never give her those things. The only people he had ever loved in his life, he now detested. And they hated him just the same. She could belong to him, but not be loved by him. He hated that for her.

She thought a moment, her thoughts a mystery to Kylo, making him wish he could peer into that mind, just to see if they were dwelling on the exact same thing. Finally, she looked up, catching him staring her down. But to his surprise, she smiled. She didn't shrink away from his glare, but stepped toward him, arms opening slightly and placed her hands on his forearms. He turned his palms up and ran his hands against her arms.

They stood there a few moments, her smile warming him through and through, melting away that small fear inside him until it was nonexistent. He wrapped one hand around her wrist and led her to the control panel across the room. She trailed close behind him, fingers stretched to wrap around his longer ones. He tapped the panel awake, going through the settings until he found the word 'biometrics.'

"Alright. Place your hand on the panel." He instructed and released her wrist.

She did as he asked, palm flat against the blue grid outline.

"Accepted. Please state name." The robotic voice of the panel prompted.

"Uh," she looked up at him.

He nodded back.

She said her name quietly, as if someone might hear her. The panel flashed green and accepted the new biometric key.

"Now you can come and go as you wish." He stepped back a bit, giving her some space, gods knew he needed some.

She seemed to be processing. That’s when she saw it, her eyes flickered to the side, around his large frame. He had to admit he was struggling from assessing the surprise from the moment they’d entered the room, but he kept his eyes on her to allow her to find it on her own. Her eyes were wide, jaw dropped and mouth in an adorable little ‘o’ shape. She glanced back to his eyes, a smile breaking over her face, and she wandered around him to the bed.

The new bed was rectangular and humongous, even for Kylo. The bedframe was raised exaggeratedly, which would make it a little more difficult for her to climb in and out of, but there was _more_ than enough room for the two of them. He had instructed the staff to fit it with the same green linen sheets as he’d had before, knowing they made frequent reappearances in her dreams, and he’d ordered endless fluffy pillows which were piled high at the new headboard. He opted for wood instead of metal, knowing that she would appreciate the organic warmth it brought his room.

She turned back to him, open mouthed and eyes wide.

“You got a new bed?” She asked through a startled laugh.

He nudged her bottom lip with his thumb. “Yes.”

He fought that almost immediate urge to bend and kiss her.

“Why?” She asked incredulously.

He was quiet a moment, unsure how much he wanted to reveal.

“I was too big for my old one.” He said quietly.

She smiled up at him through her lashes, clearly catching his drift.

“Well you definitely succeeded at getting a bigger one.” She mocked.

“You like it then?” He asked, suddenly second guessing his gift.

Her brows furrowed, then raised. She glanced back at the bed and then up at him, her eyes misty all of a sudden.

“Did you buy this… for us?” She said thickly.

He nodded, simply – earnestly.

A slow smile broke over her face again, eyes most definitely misty. She leaned back against the edge of the bed, hands grasping his and leading her to him, he followed.

“I see.” She whispered.

Reader:

You smiled at him, struggling to keep the tears at bay. You were touched by this sudden token of appreciation. The two of you had been sleeping in a rather cramped fashion the last two nights, and this new bed was more than enough for the two of you. You leaned back against the enormity of the mattress, pleasantly sinking into its side. You pulled him to you.

"I see." You said, sounding small.

He stepped next to you and climbed up into the bed. You looked up and almost snickered. He had brought his feet off the floor and drew his knees to his chest. He sat, perched, on the edge of the bed; his towering shoulders hunched like a funny looking owl. Commander Kylo Ren, barefoot and curled up on his new mega-bed. Your smile had turned to a smirk and he raised his brows at you. His eyes lit up a bit, sparkly in the dim light of his bedroom.

"What?" He asked, a smile of his own beginning to form on his full lips.

He looked so... cute. Sitting on his bed, like that. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh. His smile broadened, eyes going wider.

"What's funny?" He asked again, a little worry making its way into his voice.

"You just look so sweet sitting like that." You giggled, taking a few steps closer to him.

He released his legs and laid his feet on the floor, his large arms swept to either side and pulled you into his chest. He was still taller than you, even seated, and your head tucked tightly under his chin. You snuggled closer, dipping your lips and nose into the crevice of his collarbone. You were tempted to kiss him there; to feel the warm, smooth skin against your lips, but you rested there, your breath barely brushing the constant thrum of the pulse in his throat. His hand rubbed small circles over your back until you relaxed into him gratefully. You moved your hips to one side, turning away from him to sit on his lap. His leg was massive underneath you. You shifted your weight slightly, angling your hips back into him, your backside sliding gently across a hard, long object between his legs.

"Oh, careful." He said quickly.

His hands grasped your sides and lifted you gently off of his lap. You realized, with some sadness, that what you felt wasn't what you thought it was. Attached to his belt was a type of weapon, cylindrical metal with a button and some wires connecting to... _oh my Gods. That's a lightsaber._ You had heard stories of them when you were growing up, and now you knew that The Force was real after all. Lightsabers must be too. Of course, that was the ‘laser sword’ Kent had referenced.

Your mouth dropped open.

"Kylo, is that a—?"

"Yes." He answered you before you had the chance to say it.

You stared down at it in his hands. He held it there for a few moments, letting you stare, before he pulled himself from the bed and walked to the far wall. He pressed his hand to a blank section of the durasteel and a portion of wall came forth unexpectedly. A hidden panel was revealed, which he slid the lightsaber into. He looked back at you, his face grave.

"I-I won't tell anyone where it is..." You stammered.

Kylo laughed, shaking his head. His black hair swayed gently around his face, like trees in the wind.

"No, I'm not worried you will."

He rejoined you on the bed, seeming hesitant before pulling his knees up into his chest again. You smiled wide at him. He was adorable. Kylo Ren. Not intimidating, not terrifying, but adorable. Curled up in his bed like a child. Not at all the man Kent had described earlier that day. You leaned in, attempting to kiss his forehead but he tilted his chin up at the last second, your lips landing between his nose and lips. It was an awkward kiss, to say the least. You weren’t sure how to respond and you didn't think he knew how to either. You pulled away from each other while you looked elsewhere. Your eyes landed on the wall where he had hidden the lightsaber, willing your memory to remind you exactly where the panel had been. But it was impossible to discern, now.

"Why do you keep it there? Why not close to you, in the event of an attack?" You pulled your feet onto the bed as well, tucking them under your thighs.

"I used to.." He mused, his eyes far away.

You waited a moment, watching him lost in thought. Suddenly, his eyes were back in focus and he looked over at you.

"How are you feeling? Have you had any more Force connections?" He asked, leaning back further into the bed.

"No." You said. "Just the once. Is that what that was? A ‘Force connection?’" Your stomach went all washy and you felt a little lightheaded.

He seemed to notice your change in disposition. His brow furrowed and his hand extended to touch your shoulder, gently.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked.

The concern dripped from his voice, sweet and rich like molasses. You smiled back at him, though it may have been a weak smile.

"I don't think I've been eating enough. I feel a little dizzy."

He glanced up and down at you, his brows knit tightly together, and lips pressed into a line.

"Go take a bath. I'll have some food delivered." He said, pushing himself off the bed.

You moved as well, your lightheadedness unable to gauge the distance between the bed and the floor and you tripped a bit. He reached down to catch me, like lightning. His eyes wider than usual, searching your face intently. You laughed, breathlessly. His concern was heartwarming and very much out of character. Despite your laugh, he didn’t seem reassured. His eyes searched your face for a few moments more before he bent, arm wrapping around your knees and cradled you to his chest. He walked you into the restroom, and further into the separate room with the bathtub. His pulse was heavy in his throat and his breath gentle in his chest.

He sat you gently on the side of the tub and knelt in front of you, raising his hands to your sides. He dipped his fingers under the hem of your shirt and lifted it over your head. Then, he took down your hair. It fell gently around your face and down your back. He appraised you for a moment, eyes drinking in the softness of your face. His hand hovered out, fingers just barely brushing your collarbone, his fingertips warm and soft against your skin. He wrangled your bra off my body, breasts swaying gently, and you stood, allowing him to peel your pants off your legs. He steadied you gently, always a hand on you, ready to catch you if you fell again.

When he was done, you stood naked in front of him and watched as he turned to the panel on the wall and typed in instructions for the bath until the water began rushing from the faucet behind you. He turned back to you and scooped you up into his arms before sitting you in the tub. The water filled around you, soap being dispensed under the faucet automatically.

“Will you be alright? I just need to step away to call for food.” He asked.

“Yes, Commander.”

“Kylo.” He corrected, his voice warm.

“I’ll be fine, Kylo.” It felt good to say his name; your throat soothed by the word.

He stepped out of the room, door shutting behind him. The basin was wide and deep, the water seemed to run for hours to fill it. The soap was causing bubbles to form at the surface, a clean scent hanging in the air. The hot water worked like a tonic on your battered body; you allowed your legs to fall straight and your spine slacked under the relief. In the back of your mind, your thoughts wandered back to Officer Bailey, wondering why he had lied about his conversation with Commander Ren.

But none of that mattered, for the moment. Kylo returned, opened the door and appearing in the doorway shirtless. His broad chest was toned and smooth, you sat up in the tub to see him better. Under the safety of the water, your hand dipped between your thighs, gliding gently over your soft clit. He left the door open behind him, eyes carefully assessing me. Your finger stopped, not by your own volition, and your hand was pulled from the water by The Force.

It rose from the surface of the water too quickly, splashing soapy specks onto your face. Your hand hovered above you and you didn’t bother trying to move it. Instead, you turned back to Kylo Ren, your lips in a sheepish grin, and found that his were, as well. He smiled down at you, one eyebrow raised, and moved to sit on the side of the tub. His large hand gently extended to line up with yours, still held in the air by The Force. He leaned over you, eyes never leaving your own, and rested his hand against your palm, his large fingers interlaced between your own small ones.

“What are you thinking?” He asked quietly, eyes burning holes into you.

You were quiet for a moment, in thought.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

It wasn’t an invitation. It was a real question, but you realized as the words unfurled from your lips that he might take it as one. You shrank from the memory of the pain you had felt in the hallway. All emotions ran through you at once, eyebrows drawing together. _What was it? Why did it hurt so much? If it wasn’t Kylo, could it have been another person? If so, then who? And why would they want to see my thoughts?_ Fear, panic, and confusion rattled your brain. The Force disappeared from your hand, which fell naturally into Kylo’s hold and his other hand supported a large extended index finger. He rested the finger between your furrowed brows.

“That’s why.” He whispered.

“You’re hurting. I don’t want to make it worse.”

His concern was more than touching, it was absolutely tear-jerking. Your other hand drifted up your thigh, unintentionally. He knew. He always knew.

"I can do that." His voice a whispered silk.

You blushed, heat blooming across your cheeks. He dropped your entwined hands under the water's surface, squeezing your hand gently before letting go. His eyes never left yours, holding your gaze in a heated embrace. His hand slid across your thigh, fingertips slick with the soapy water. You turned to him, rising up on your knees. The new height exposed your chest above the water. Your wet breasts bobbing at the surface, the chill from the air making your nipples stand at attention.

His eyes shifted to appraise them, a satisfied groan slipping through his lips. You grinned, showing both rows of your teeth, ecstatic that you elicited such a reaction from him. His fingers wandered up your thigh, coming closer to your throbbing sex. He was moving painstakingly slow, and you rolled your hips down to meet his hand, the large pad of one of his fingertips landing softly against you clit. You jerked, the water rocking around you, almost spilling over the edge of the tub.

"Careful." He said, sliding off the corner and down to his knees. His arm reaching over the edge and down into the water.

He faced you, breath spilling over your face. His eyes wandered down your throat and back to your chest, and he raised his other hand, extending a long index finger to your breast. He flicked the nipple, you bit your lip against the sharp mix of pleasure and pain. His thumb applied a gentle pressure to your clit again, and two thick digits slicked their way against your folds. Your head fell back against your shoulders, a long moan rippling through your throat.

"Do you need stretched out, little girl?" His face was centimeters from yours.

His fingers continued to stroke up and down your pussy lips, building the pressure of an imminent climax low in your belly. You rocked your hips against his palm, hands flying up to grab his hair on either side of his face. His eyes blew a little wide. He was surprised. The thought made you bold.

"Yes sir, please." Your voice was a pleading moan.

Something in his features broke, his composure cracking the smallest bit. Your breath was ragged, desperate for him.

"Say that again." He demanded, dark desire tinted the smoothness of his voice.

You bit your lip, swallowing your pride.

"Please, Commander. Please!"

Two fingers dipped inside, stretching your walls with their thick persistent strength. The pads of his fingertips stroked a spot inside you, coaxing pleasured moans from your mouth. Your eyes rolled back into your head, hips grinding against his hand, riding his palm. His fingers kept a consistent rhythm, curling and uncurling inside of you, his wrist expertly manipulating them deeper and then drawing them back out.

His other hand rested heavy on your breast, cupping it in his large palm. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him into you. He obliged willingly, head bent to meet your kiss. His lips trailed down your chin to your collarbone, stopping for a brief moment to bite the sensitive skin stretched thin there. You gasped, leaning back to afford him more of your body. He bent further, head to your breast and wrapped his lips around a nipple, tongue swirling around the sensitive bud.

Your breath hitched, his fingers bringing you closer and closer to climax. The pressure building deep inside you, teetering on the edge, just about to fall over into the white ecstasy when a loud knock was heard at the main door. Your eyes fluttered open, pleading him to stay. He raised his head from your breast, eyes unwilling to leave you here. His fingers picked up their pace, thrashing wildly against your walls.

"Cum." He demanded, one hand coming down hard over your mouth.

You realized, briefly, it was meant to contain the sound of your orgasm. Moans rippled through you and against his hand, his thumb vibrated tiny circles over your clit, and you came hard. Your thighs shook from tremors and aftershocks and your moans turned gurgled under his hand. Another knock at the door and he slid the fingers out of you, too quickly; your eyelids fluttered open again, just in time to see him rounding the corner. You heard the door slide open and clambering, like dishes. You sank back down into the water, silently.

"Thank you." Kylo's voice was close to the door but muffled by the wall.

He stuck his head around the doorway.

"All clear. Do you need help getting out?" A concerned eyebrow raised quizzically.

You smiled. "No, thank you."

He disappeared again, headed back to the bedroom. You stood gingerly, careful not to lose my balance, and realized why he’d asked if you needed help. Your legs were wobbly, not quite ready to support your weight. You found purchase against the wall and leaned into it, palming the panel with your damp hand to drain the tub. He returned with a towel but stopped dead in his tracks at the door. His jaw dropped open and his eyes raked over you. You felt your cheeks turn to fire and shifted to press your thighs together, hands coming up over your chest, pretending to mess with your hair. You noticed, looking down, that you were dripping fine droplets of water all over the tile. You looked to him, hand extending for the towel. He was a statue, mouth gaping, eyes drinking you in.

"You're beautiful." He said, his voice a tender whisper.

The compliment was enough to stir something between your thighs again, less insistent than before, but there. Kylo shook his head, as if he had water stuck in his ears, and handed you the towel. You wrapped it around your body, gratefully. He left again, briefly, giving you enough time to towel off without his prying eyes, and returned with another large sweater. You pulled the fabric over your head, tugging the hem down over your bottom. His eyes scanned your body, something you hadn’t seen before was lurking in his eyes. He reached his hand into his back pocket, pulling out your panties.

“Do you want these?” his smile, mischievous.

You reached out for them, fingertips brushing his open palm. Your eyes flickered up to catch his, just briefly, before he turned again. You pulled your legs through the panties, yanking them onto your body, and followed him. You turned the corner to watch him carrying a metal tray from the dresser to his bed, he sat it gently on the foot of the bed. You could smell the bread from where you stood, your mouth watered, and stomach growled in response. He looked at you, an eyebrow raised.

“Eat.” He instructed, crossing the room to lean against the far wall.

You approached the bed, reaching for the piece of bread. He didn’t have to tell you twice. You sunk your teeth into the fluffy, chewy substance, which was still warm, causing your mouth to water more. It didn’t take you long to finish the entire loaf and seek out the protein on the plate. You forked a slice and popped it into your mouth, gratefully. It was piping hot, and you had to open your lips around it to suck in cold air. He looked amused for a split moment before slowly sinking against the wall, watching you intently. Your cheeks burned at the attention. You cleared your throat, breaking the silence.

“You need to remember to eat.” He chided.

You snorted. “Ha, yeah. I’ll remember.”

His gaze deepened, eyes narrowed at you.

“Yes.” He clarified, cold and staunch.

Suddenly all too aware of the severity in his voice, you swallowed hard. Distantly pleased that the action didn’t hurt quite as much as it would have a week ago.

“Yes sir.” You managed, softly.

You watched his body go stiff against the wall, back straightened against the unyielding metal. You remained quiet, finishing off the remaining food on your plate. When you were done, you piled the utensils to the middle of the plate, and he moved quickly to your side. He snatched the tray from the bed, discarding it in a waste basket by his door, and stalked back to you, quickly. His shoulders were lowered, eyes fixed on you like a target.

His hands reached you first, the benefit of having such long arms. With one hand to each side of your face, he grabbed you and pulled you up into him. Your lips collided, hard, in the air. Your hands felt forward, landing on his chest, searching the broad expanse with your fingertips. You worked your fingers under the hem and glided your nails against the smooth skin of his abdomen. He quivered, his lips working their way over yours, tongue sliding over your lip.

He drew your lower lip into his mouth, catching it between his teeth and bit. You thought it may have hurt, but you couldn’t care less. It was delicious, even to the breaking point. Your saliva mixed with salty, metallic blood and it swapped between your mouths. A moan you couldn’t hear reverberated over your tongue, its proximity rattled your teeth. Your hands wandered back down, palms gliding against his neck, and his hands moved too, down your shoulders and back.

His neck was brawny, thick bands of muscle coiled, tense under the skin. Your fingertips ruffled the ends of his hair, dancing in and out of the dark curtains of his tresses. You pulled back, gasping in a deep breath before placing your tattered breath against his jugular. The rushing blood thrummed against the pulse in your lips, lush and warm enough to make your mouth water. He hummed agreeably and tilted his head back, the ends of his hair rising out of reach.

Your wove your fingers back into that head of hair, dug into his scalp and pulled his head back down to meet you. His eyes were black saucers in the dimly lit room, glittering with excitement and fervor. You leaned forward, eyes locked with his, for once, you felt in control.

“Hmph.” His lips twisted back, baring his long teeth.

“I heard that.” He smirked.

His hands bunched the excess fabric of his sweater at your back, pulling the article up and over your head. Your body was arched against him, forcing your naked chest tight against his. His skin might as well have been fire, consuming you by the intimacy of his hold. His hands were tangled in your hair, piling the length onto the top of your head. With one large, warm hand on your cheek, he held you in a steady gaze. His eyes were black and hungry, burning holes into you.

Some small alarm went off in the back of your mind, somewhere deep within your lizard brain. The fire from his skin dulled against yours, your hands traveled down the sides of his neck to cover your naked chest. His eyes flickered down to the action, brow furrowing questioningly. You attempted to look past the fleeting worry in his eyes and focus on the source of your sudden uneasiness. Something wasn’t quite adding up. You assessed yourself for a moment more, then looked to Kylo who seemed to have gauged your discomfort, too.

“How did you hear me?” Perhaps a little more quizzical than you intended.

He caught his lower lip between his teeth and chewed nervously.

“I can always… _feel_ thoughts.” He chose his words carefully, narrowing his eyes.

“ _Always?_ I thought you had to try. I thought that’s why it always hurts?” Your eyes darted back and forth from both his eyes.

He hesitated.

“I do have to try, sometimes. Either when someone is trying to keep me out, or to obtain deeper thoughts. That’s when it can hurt. But I can always feel simple thoughts.”

You felt cut, a deep sting from his dishonesty slapped you cold.

“So, that whole ‘ _let me in_ ‘ bullshit? What was that?” You pulled away from him.

His hands fell flaccid at his sides, a long sigh rippled through his chest.

You continued to back away from him, arms tight around yourself, a barricade.

“That was true. You’re difficult to read. It’s like you don’t have simple thoughts too often.”

“Yeah, Kylo. I’m capable of deeper thought.” You snorted, rolling your eyes.

He squared his shoulders, face wiped clean, his own arms folded across his swelling chest.

“Enough.”

The severity of his voice was startling. You almost looked twice. His voice was so cold and metallic you thought, for a moment, that he may have donned the helmet. But no; his lovely dark features stared back at you. Helmet nowhere in sight. He turned quickly, on his heel, and gathered a pile of folded clothing from the opposite side of the room. Your clothes, and your uniform, tucked and pressed on the bottom of the stack. He handed them to you.

“Get dressed. Go back to your quarters.”

He stalked past you, towards his office. He turned slightly as he passed the threshold.

“Now.”

His hand pressed a panel lock that wasn’t visible on the other side of the wall and the door whizzed shut. You scoffed. A small, short, angry sound and essentially ripped your pants onto your legs, followed by your shirt. The fabric snagged on your nails, ripping a small hole in the side. _Shit._ You wondered if he heard that too. _Bastard. Did you hear that? Hmm, Commander?_ Silence. No movement by the door. You shoved your feet into your shoes and headed out the door.

A moment of sheer panic as you stalked into the public hallway and realized how irresponsible it was of you to stride out of his quarters without surveying the hall first. You were lucky, dumb lucky, that no one was in the hall, and you didn’t stick around to tempt fate. You heard the door to the Commander’s quarters shut behind you as you made your way down the hall. Your heart turned heavy at the thought that you may not be returning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so terribly mean for quoting the literal END of the chapter at the BEGINNING of the chapter's summary!
> 
> I digress.
> 
> So this chapter is a followup to Chapter 12: Accusations & Dissections - in which our reader and Kylo do, in a sense, become dissected. We learn a bit about each character, we learn about the surprise, and we learn that perhaps Kylo has been dishonest with us all along. I hate to write angst, but we're here guys. Don't blame me, the story demanded to be written this way, I am merely the scribe. ;)
> 
> Please feel free to crowd me with love or hate, I'll try to take all of it without complaint ;)
> 
> And also, PLEASE let me know if this is good enough to finish. I put a lot of time into it, but if isn't good - I have other ideas I can share with you. Just, yanno, if this one isn't hitting home.


	14. A Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He took an eternity to answer. His eyes would search the floor, mouth would open a few times – dry, not able to find the right words. He searched your eyes so intently it made you both a little dizzy and then he’d search the dead air, as if a sentence would present itself to him from out of nowhere. He pursed his lips, eyes squeezed shut, and he swallowed. You imagined he swallowed his fear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A surprise... earlier than anticipated :) We're catching up with the chapters I already have prepared. Updates may take longer to post soon.

You didn’t sleep well that night. You began getting ready far too early, stepping into the shower at around three in the morning. You spent over an hour scrubbing your body, determined to remove any indication of Kylo’s presence on your skin. You felt like he had sunk into your bones, a deep part of you. The thought made you sick, positively sick. No, really sick. Without turning off the faucet, you spun out of the curtain of water, bile rising in the back of your throat. You hunched toward the toilet, vomit gurgling out of your mouth.

Vile and acidic, you hurled the contents of your stomach into the commode. The unnatural sensation spilling tears from your eyes, nose watery. One hand steadied your collapsing weight against the toilet seat, the other haphazardly held back your sopping wet hair. Your soaked body shuddered, both from the retching and chill of the cold air. Your mouth was sour and sweat prickled the back of your neck. Your stomach still rolled, threatening to spill again. You eased yourself to the floor, sure and certain you were dying.

You leaned your head against the cold durasteel wall for what seemed like an hour, waiting for the sickness to pass. A few times, you felt near compelled to pull yourself from the wall to hurl again. But luckily, it passed. Finally, you found some composure to stand. Your legs were decidedly weak, and you were thankful, in some small capacity, that your job did not require you to stand. You held the wall for support and forced yourself to walk back into the shower. The water had not yet run cold (a perk of living on such a large base – endless hot water supply) and you washed the remaining sickness away from your body.

When you were finally clean, and your legs had regained a bit of strength, you exited the shower and towel-dried your hair. You would be pulling it back for flight today and had no qualms about making it look attractive. You had no one to impress, but you did have a superior officer to prove wrong. Well, perhaps you had two; but you were certain you wouldn’t be seeing the Commander today. You would, most assuredly, be seeing Officer Bailey, and you were determined to figure out why he lied.

You stalked into the bedroom, searching for where you had placed the uniform you had only received hours before. When you had returned to your room from the Commander’s, you tossed the uniform to the floor, only for a moment before you grabbed it up, smoothing the pleats and freshly pressed pockets. You folded it and placed it… somewhere. Ah, on the bed. You found it, picking up the small stack. You guessed you really hadn’t slept a wink, the bed looked completely untouched.

The uniform was plain, unadorned. You promised yourself you would soon acquire badges and medals to decorate the lonely, woven fabric. You selected your undergarments in a blur, not necessarily paying them any attention. You could have been mismatched, for all you knew. And you couldn’t care less, to be honest. You pulled them on, covering them quickly with the uniform. The pants were tailored nicely, fitting your legs in a rather flattering way. In terms of being a uniform, that is.

It was nearing 05:00 and you couldn’t wait much longer. Milling about your room was neither useful or productive and it did nothing to occupy your mind away from thoughts of the Commander. You checked your uniform in the mirror before you left, smoothing the fabric over your curves, and strode into the hall. No one was around; you were beginning to question if you had neighbors. Or if anyone actually worked on this damned base.

Your jaw was set hard and you weren’t sure if it were a result of your sour mood or a reaction to your still sour mouth, jaw clenched to ward off future sickness. Your boots sounded heavy against the steel hallway floors as you made your way to the hangar bay. When you arrived, you saw only engineers, flocks of them going in and out of crafts, carrying equipment and tools. A small team was leaving the Command Shuttle as you approached. You nodded to them as they left the data pad on the wall.

“Flight inspection is complete. Pilot?” One of them pointed a finger at you.

You nodded. The woman reached back for the data pad.

“Do you want me to go over it with you?” She asked, hand hovering.

“No. I’ll go through it. Thank you.”

She nodded and lowered her hand toward you.

“I’m Nel. I’m the second engineer for the shuttle. Are you replacing Bailey?”

You shook her hand, introducing yourself.

“Yes.” You appraised her small frame.

“Do you know much of him?” You asked.

She scoffed. “No, thankfully.”

You heard boots in the distance.

“Thank you, Nel.” You passed her as she disembarked.

Officer Bailey approached the shuttle, hair disheveled and cap missing. His face broke into a smile when he saw you. Fury threatened to leap at him, palm and fingers twitched behind your back. His face was entirely too cheery, eyes crinkled at the sides. You wondered how he had managed to fake such a genuine, sincere smile. Clearly, he must have hated you or feared you. There would be no other reason to lie.

When Bailey had boarded the ship, you grasped his elbow tightly, pulling him to the side. The two of you were alone, and this indiscretion would be too difficult for the officer to prove. His eyes widened, clearly you had caught him off guard, but a small smile was turning up the corners of his lips. The son of a bitch wasn’t afraid – but he should have been. You were outraged he didn’t seem to sense the anger rolling off of you.

“What the _hell_ , Bailey?” you seethed at his side.

He looked confused, lopsided smile getting more crooked.

“What? What happened?” He had the gall to chuckle.

You glared at him, and his eyes popped open a bit wider. His lips finally found their place, shut into a tight, flat line. You relaxed a bit at the newfound respect for your mood.

“You know what happened. You never asked the Commander if I could fly a Tie Fighter. And you never asked for my uniform, either.” You paused to assess his reaction.

His mouth gaped open a bit, eyebrows raising. He was surprised.

“Are you trying to sabotage me? Because I don’t understand.” You spat, releasing your grip on his elbow, and leaning away from him.

You looked over your shoulder and around the bend of the craft to be sure that no one was nearing the ship, as Bailey answered you.

“No, I’m not trying to sabotage you, that sounds insane.”

Your head whipped around to look at him again, fury rising in your chest at his choice of words.

His expression softened from bewildered to knowing.

“Sorry, you don’t sound insane.” He offered, quickly.

You cocked a brow at him, prodding for him to explain himself.

“Look, Knight. I’m not threatened by you – you’re taking a position I happily left. Why would I sabotage you for that?”

His question seemed genuine, like he really wanted to know your thought process. You milled for a moment, inspecting the exterior of the craft again and pursing your lips.

“I’m young…” you started, sucking your teeth. “And I’m good. Perhaps you’re jealous.” Your eyes narrowed at him.

A small, ever so small, nudge at the back of your head made you groan. Silently, without any movement, you pushed against Kylo’s mind poking into your head. Unsuccessfully, of course. You felt the burn creep into your skull, seeming to take hold behind your eyes. You focused on Bailey in front of you, he was smiling. That got your attention.

You refocused again, shutting out the pain, and your lips pulled back instinctively.

“What?” You barked.

Bailey chuckled, his eyes soft. “I’m not jealous. Yes, you’re good. And yes, you’re young. But…” He stepped toward you in the confined space.

“I wanted to offer the Tie Fighter opportunity – but it isn’t mine to offer. I-“ He looked at his feet, shuffling them against the steel floor on the ship.

“I don’t know- I guess I wanted to impress you.” He admitted, sheepishly.

His eyes glanced up into yours and one hand gingerly approached your face.

Before you had a moment to process, the burn behind your eyes turned to flame and the two of you heard echoing footsteps bounding up the ramp. Bailey took a few large steps backward to the control panel, turning his body away from yours. You realized all too quickly, as the pain disappeared from your grateful mind, who was ascending the ramp. You swallowed hard, searching frantically for any shred of composure you could muster as you turned to face the mass of black robes and darkness that was Kylo Ren.

You half expected him to approach you directly. But you had forgotten your place. Behind closed doors, Kylo Ren may have been a man – but out here, he was the Commander of the First Order. And you were nothing but a beginning class officer. Much to your surprise, his presence made you want to fling your arms around his shoulders in an embrace and, at the same time, you wanted to beat him senseless with your own fists. Your body was torn between both, with no other option than to settle for something between the two. Tears welled up in your eyes.

Thank the gods, he hadn’t noticed. He didn’t even so much as pause in front of you as he stalked his way past your crumbling frame. He strode past you and directly up to Officer Bailey, who seemed much more equipped to approach the Commander than yourself. You turned your back on the pair of them for just a moment to wipe the ridiculous tears from your eyes. Bailey could handle himself until you had composed your wrecked nerves.

As you wiped the last speck of water from your eye, you heard an earth-shattering crackle and the air suddenly smelled warm. Something electric and unnatural was hanging in the stale space of the Command Shuttle. You turned to the most horrible realization of the scene behind you. Bailey, his back flush with the durasteel wall behind him, eyes a reflection of dead panic and a threatening, red glow. Kylo had ignited his lightsaber and extended the blade to rest much too close to Bailey’s terrified face.

Bailey was unharmed, but there was no assurance that would remain the same for long. You were silent, stock still, and petrified of breathing in the direction of the Commander’s threatening weapon. Bailey was looking into the slit of the Commander’s mask, eyes pleading but throat glued shut in fear. The only sound in the shuttle was that of the saber’s constant, angry energy. The crackle hummed so quietly it may have been soothing, under different circumstances.

“I’ve been informed,” the Commander spoke at last, his metallic speech ringing through the dead air. “That you have lied to your trainee.”

His grip tightened on the hilt of the saber, twisting it with so much control that the end of the blade edged closer to Bailey’s head.

“No, no, no, no, no..” Bailey shut his eyes, squeezed them tight against the impending approach of the saber’s red glow.

Your mouth gaped, still unable to speak or move.

“No?” Kylo boomed.

His anger outraged the weapon in his hand, the once calmed humming of the blade crackled again with newfound energy. You shuddered.

“No, sir! I told her I would _ask_ if she could fly a Tie Fighter! I just haven’t done so yet – I know that’s not your decision!” Bailey spoke quickly, shrinking against the wall.

“That’s not _your_ decision, officer.” Kylo seethed.

A few moments of silence went by before being broken by a loud buzz as the saber died into the hilt. The weapon withdrawn from his face, Bailey crumpled against the wall, knees buckled as he covered his face with his hands. You were unable of doing anything aside from thinking, your mouth still hung open as you stared at the officer collapsed against the ground.

The smallest movement indicated Kylo had turned his glare to you and your neck snapped up to look at him. Not, you realized suddenly, at your own will. You could see his hand extended toward you, the Force gripping the sides of your chin. Carefully, you noted, somewhat resentfully. Your chin turned, exposing the right side of your face to him, and then slowly the other way. Almost as if he were examining you.

The Force dropped your chin and your eyes fell back to Officer Bailey on the floor. The Commander regarded the officer for a moment, himself, before he spoke again.

“Bailey, apologize to Officer Knight on your way out.” He turned away, stalking further into the ship.

Your feet were still glued to their position, as much as you wanted to help the poor man stand. He pulled himself off the floor, eyes finding anywhere else to look but your own. He stood far apart, hands and arms at his side and bowed his head almost reverently, if it weren’t for the terror in his bones. On shaky breath, he sputtered out an apology. He said your name hesitantly, Kylo snapped his head back to look at the two of you.

Your eyes met the slit in his mask, and you narrowed them at him.

“I-I’m so.. so sorry. I- Let me know if I-I can help you. I-I’m so very sorry.” He stumbled, hands leaving his sides to wring one another in front of his stomach.

“Dismissed, officer.” Commander Ren’s dark synthesized voice dripped like molten steel over the pair of you.

Bailey basically ran from the room, his feet carrying him quicker than his body was prepared for. You tried, to no avail, not to pay him much attention as he fled. But, your heart ached for him: that poor, tormented man. When he had left the craft, you heard the screeching of the metal ramp as it withdrew, folding itself back into the ship. Commander Ren and yourself were left, alone, inside the dark metal of the Command Shuttle.

He was turned away from you, his back broad and menacing as he faced the cockpit. You were still frozen in place, unsure of what was going on, you waited for him to speak. You waited for a long time – feeling the waves of anger rippling off his body dull and calm with each passing minute. When the energy seemed all but gone, he turned to you. He cocked his head, expression hidden behind that damned helmet.

“Well?” He sounded annoyed, but nowhere near angry.

Your bones relaxed a little, fear being replaced with annoyance, yourself.

“Well, what?” You questioned quietly.

“Performance evaluation. I have to be sure you’re ready for your assignment.” He answered so casually, like nothing had happened.

You couldn’t have helped the scoff that escaped your lips if you tried.

“How am I supposed to do that, Commander? You’ve dismissed my superior.” Your arms found their way across your chest, defiantly.

“ _I am_ your superior, Knight.” He seethed, taking a large step toward you which broke your façade.

You shrank away from him, unable to believe you could have fucked this man. His body went rigid, catching your attention. You looked up to him hesitantly. Something about his demeanor told you he was caught off guard. You assessed him for a moment – growing more and more surprised as the moments ticked by and he, himself, was frozen in place. A feeling like betrayal hung in the air between you.

Your thoughts raced back to the night before, remembering your dismissal from his room. You had assumed it was a dismissal from everything. From his life and his bed. You’d cried over him and moved on; and now he stood in front of you, radiating sad puppy vibes, and making you go weak in the knees. That is, until you felt the tiny tug at the back of your brain and fury fell over you like a shadow.

“ _Don’t you fucking dare, Ren_.” The severity in your voice surprised even you.

His neck retracted and he took a half step away from you.

“Then talk out loud.” He said. His voice was quiet, barely altered by the synthesizer, and it sounded split.

“Take off your helmet.” You demanded, jerking your chin in his direction.

Much to your surprise, his hands rose immediately to the locks and discarded the helmet to the side. His raven hair fell around him, stark against his ghostly face. There was a different sternness in his features, something not quite so hard or threatening. Instead, it boarded on threatened. You broke for him, wanting to weep and run into his arms, but your body was still.

His eyebrow twitched, eyes softened slightly.

“What?” He said quietly, voice soft like cotton.

You swallowed. “What?”

His eyes searched yours for a moment before falling to the floor.

“I can hear you.” He admitted, shamefully.

“A little.” His voice was merely a whisper.

He was different now. His entire being was gentle, scared even. You marveled at him, terribly confused, and wanting to understand. There was a twinge of anger somewhere in the back of your mind, prodding at you to scream at him for his dishonesty. But a bigger part of you was burning for him. You searched your thoughts, raked over your memories, trying to place what could have gained this reaction from him.

His brows drew together as you studied each other.

“You’re confused?” He asked, quietly.

You nodded, unable to speak for fear of losing your concentration.

He swallowed, lips pillowy and inviting. You shut your eyes, chasing the concentration you’d just lost in his lips.

“What confuses you?” You struggled against the silk of his voice to find your train of thought, but that train was moving quickly, and you couldn’t keep up.

“You seem…” You searched for words, giving up the chase. “You seem hurt.”

You opened your eyes again and watched his, hoping for a reaction. They were soft, knowing. His lips moved, and you tried very hard not to look at them again.

“Yes.” He admitted.

That small word had stolen all the air from the room and knocked the wind from your lungs. You slumped a bit, back making contact with the wall behind you. He took a half step toward you, concern touching his brow. You held a hand up between you, desperate to keep him at a distance. You shook your head, bracing yourself with your other hand against the wall. He stayed in place.

“What… why ?” You asked, dumbfounded.

He took an eternity to answer. His eyes would search the floor, mouth would open a few times – dry, not able to find the right words. He searched your eyes so intently it made you both a little dizzy and then he’d search the dead air, as if a sentence would present itself to him from out of nowhere. He pursed his lips, eyes squeezed shut, and he swallowed. You imagined he swallowed his fear.

“You… regret it.” He said, voice cracking near the end.

It was your turn to gape, open mouthed, at him. He kept his eyes shut for a few moments more before opening them again. You racked your brain for a moment before remembering. ‘ _unable to believe you could have fucked this man.’_ It swirled around your recent memory and hit him like a truck again, he slumped against the pilot’s chair. The leather of the seat scrunched in the silence.

“I don’t…” You began, heart breaking when you saw him raise his head to look at you – his eyes wide and hopeful.

“I don’t.. _understand_ you.” You whispered, slumping to sit on the ground.

He let out a long sigh, eyes squeezing shut again.

You chewed the inside of your lip.

“No one does.” He said, finally.

You waited for a moment, waited for him to open his eyes. They wandered about the surroundings for a moment before landing on you again. You tread waters carefully, eyes holding his.

“Do _you_?” You asked, your voice a defeated whisper.

You’d forgiven him – wholeheartedly. You knew that, deep in your bones. He was so scared. Terrified of his own feelings, unsure if he even deserved to feel anything but pain. You realized, distantly, you had no founding for those assumptions. You just felt them. And felt they were right. Some part of you, even more distantly, wondered if that was the Force. But as you stared into Kylo’s eyes, you knew you would wait to ask another day.

“No.” He admitted.

Something caught your attention. A warning in your lizard brain. A familiar scent swirling in your mind. You imagined you heard footsteps, but you were aware of the silence in the shuttle. You looked to Kylo, who was entirely too calm to have heard it too.

“Put on your helmet.” You said, scrambling to your knees.

He straightened from his slump against the chair, eyes unfocused as he sensed it too. No sooner than he had replaced his helmet and you had grabbed the panel from the wall did the ramp extend again. The shuttle doors opened to reveal the slight, wiry frame of your father. His flaming red countenance accompanied by none other than Bailey, himself.


	15. Rising to the Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s going on here, Ren?” General Hux climbed the ramp to the shuttle, followed closely by Officer Bailey.

“What’s going on here, Ren?” General Hux climbed the ramp to the shuttle, followed closely by Officer Bailey.

You were the first to speak, forgetting your place in the presence of your familiar father.

“We’re about to finish up our review of the flight inspection, General Hux.” You raised a brow, false incredulity hiding your nervousness.

Your eyes flickered to Bailey, who was watching you closely. You wondered, for a moment, if he saw through your façade. But he smiled, relieved, when you had finished speaking.

“Officer Bailey told me you assaulted him, Commander Ren.” The General folded his hands behind his back, ignoring your report and approaching Kylo at the helm of the ship.

“Well, I didn’t say _assaulted_.” Bailey protested meekly, falling behind, and nearing you, his eyes landed hesitantly on Kylo.

Kylo regarded him behind the mask, you could tell. But to the rest of the room, his attention seemed to be fixed on the slight ginger man in front of him.

“He _lied_ to your dau-“ Kylo suddenly went silent.

Your eyes widened, breath caught in your throat. You saw the General stiffen, the three of you suddenly all too aware that Bailey was here, and the Commander had almost divulged a very important piece of information. Bailey, himself, seemed too preoccupied looking at you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, hand extending to rest on your crossed arms.

The moment contact was made, Kylo spoke again. This time, his voice loud and clear in the expanse of the Shuttle. His black cloaks spun past the General and toward Bailey, who careened away from him as he approached.

“He informed Officer Knight that he’d requested for her to be trained on a Tie Fighter _and_ he neglected to collect her uniform for her.” His accusation was completely correct, and yet, the General looked displeased.

“Officer Knight? Is this true?” your father poked his head between the Commander and Officer Bailey.

You looked between Bailey and Kylo. Bailey seemed pleading, begging you for something. And Kylo – well, you couldn’t tell.

“Well, yes.” You admitted quietly, eyes sorry.

Bailey suddenly spoke up, newfound courage with the General close by.

“I didn’t ask the Commander, because he’d made it quite clear she would only be trained on the shuttle. I had offered that to her before I thought better of it – it was a mistake.” He turned to you, genuine and regretful.

“I’m sorry.”

General Hux stepped between the two, eyes falling across you and back to Kylo.

“A misunderstanding, Commander. Hardly one to get so invested in.”

“And her uniform?” Kylo seethed.

“Do you have any _pleasantries_ to defend that?” He looked over your father’s slight frame to question Bailey.

Bailey chuckled, taking a few steps away from the crowded group of men.

“When I’d arrived to ask the Commander for Officer Knight’s uniform, he informed me he didn’t have it. I asked if that meant she’d be collecting it from him, and he agreed.”

He was smug. There was nothing wrong with that, on either of their parts. Another misunderstanding, it would seem. Hux looked to Kylo again, his lips pursed.

“Another misunderstanding, Ren.” He offered condescendingly.

Kylo was quiet a moment, eyes on Bailey but body facing the General.

“A misunderstanding.” He said, finally.

The tension in the shuttle was palpable and suffocating. You squirmed uneasily in the corner, surrounded by all these angry men. The General turned to you, a small fatherly glance in your direction while Bailey wasn’t looking. He approached you, reaching for the panel.

“Now, why don’t we all move past this and complete the P.E. for Officer Knight, shall we?”

You clutched the unfinished report in your arms, knowing your story would be questioned if the General saw it. You handed the panel to Kylo, he snapped it up before Hux could reach for it again.

“Yes, continue Knight.” His synthesized voice betrayed nothing.

You smiled deviously at him as you passed, knowing no one could see.

You approached the cockpit, turning to the three men behind you.

“Please sit, gentlemen. We’ll be departing soon.” You sat in the pilot’s chair.

The General seemed pleased, sitting himself in the passenger bay. Bailey, seeming confused and a little apprehensive, sat himself among the trooper bay. And Kylo, all composure, sat himself in the seat closest to your own. His proximity equally warranted and unquestioned as he wormed a thought into your brain.

_Cocky little thing, aren’t you?_

His Force voice was smooth, unaltered.

 _Yes sir._ You pushed back at him.

As you warmed the engines and made all necessary preparations for takeoff, you felt a warm presence stir between your legs. The Force caressed your inner thigh, teasing toward your covered sex. You stilled for a moment, feigning a double check of everyone’s positions as you glanced back at your father and Bailey.

 _Can you fly while I touch you?_ His voice was there again, seductive.

You shuddered, biting your lip to distract yourself from his touch.

_Stop it. I haven’t forgiven you, Kylo._

It took a bit more focus this time to project at him, as you adjusted some navigational settings on the dash, conveying your directives to the Command Bay as you awaited approval for takeoff.

 _Yes, you have. I can feel it._ He answered, the Force drawing nearer to your aching slit.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. He was relaxed, eyes on the data pad as he evaluated your performance.

 _Can you feel this?_ You prodded, nudging your hips back into the seat. Your soaked panties sliding against your mound.

 _Feel what?_ He asked.

You smirked. The Command Bay cleared your shuttle for takeoff over the intercom.

“Roger that, takeoff in ten.” You responded into the mic.

 _Too bad, Kylo. I’m so,_ so wet _for you right now._ You bit your lower lip, watching as he adjusted in his seat.

“Roger. Takeoff from Command Shuttle in seven, six, five…” the intercom responds.

 _Fuck. You want me to touch you, then?_ The Force grew closer to your clit, teasing small little touches.

 _You want me to make you cum, Knight?_ His Force voice was raspy, a reflection of his control loosening.

“four, three, two…” the intercom began to go a little staticky.

You grasped the throttle in preparation and opened your mind to him, bombarding the bridge between your minds with images of you sucking him off, or bent over in front of him, balls deep in your cunt. Your mind screamed his name, panting rapidly under his weight. You saw him grip the sides of his seat, completely unprepared for the mind fuck.

 _Hmm. Maybe I’ll make_ you _cum, Commander._

You smiled wickedly as the Force fell away from your clit, a result of Kylo’s abandoned focus. As the shuttle took off, you glanced back at the General and Bailey in the back and sides of the cabin. They were both preoccupied with the impact of takeoff and were not paying you the slightest bit of attention. You stole a glance at Kylo, could envision his eyes shut behind the helmet, fingers digging into the arm rests, jaw slack as he watched your thoughts invade his mind.

You picked a particularly naughty memory of his cock assaulting your mouth as the shuttle bounded into the sky and felt out with your mind. You imagined the Force around you, that blue light somewhat hazy, but visible. And you willed it to touch him, willed your intentions on it. You glanced back at Kylo, preoccupied with the memory you’d presented for him and allowed your gaze to assess the prominent strain in his pants.

You willed the Force to toss back the bit of robe that was obstructing your view. Triumphant when you saw the fabric flick out of the way. Your mouth dropped open, surprised, and overjoyed that you had summoned it. You glanced back at Kylo’s helmet, realizing his eyes must still be shut, enjoying the memory, and he hadn’t noticed. You drove him deeper into the memory, the sting in your eyes as you swallowed him down your throat.

Your eyes flickered back to the skies, navigating effortlessly, not even using your full attention to do so. You reached out, Force swirling through you in a tunnel, and with your free hand, you imagined circling Kylo’s cock through the material of his pants. You lowered yourself in your chair so that the General and Bailey couldn’t see the back of your head and looked over to Kylo. You focused, took a steadying breath, and grasped the Force.

You felt it, just as if you had reached over and grabbed him through the fabric of his pants, and you gripped. He straightened, data pad acting as a barrier over the bulge. But you felt it still, throbbing in your hand. His head whipped over to look at you, your eyes wild and smile mischievous. You pumped him with The Force, pride and lust motivating your focus.

 _What the fuuuu-_ Kylo’s indistinct Force voice floundered in your mind.

 _How are you-?_ He tried again, Force fighting your own.

 _Shut up and enjoy it. We’ll be landing soon._ You thought back, watching his helmet roll back against the head rest, throbbing cock twitching in the Force grip of your palm.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the craft had landed, you were struggling to keep your focus of all these things at once. Your mind strained to juggle the manipulation of The Force, projecting into Kylo’s guarded mind, and keeping your forward most thought on navigating and landing a space craft. The landing was, decidedly, a bit bumpy at the beginning, as the wheels skidded – coming in just a bit too hot.

The rough landing was necessary, however, as Kylo had reached out near the end of the flight with a strangled Force voice:

_I need you to... do something loud. SOON._

His climax needing something to drown it out. You obliged, begrudgingly, the screech of the wheels offering your Commander the much-needed cover he desired. You had hoped the prelude of your performance was enough to forgive the shaky, albeit unwillingly so, landing. Of course, the excuse of “sorry about that landing – I needed to distract you from my superior’s leg-shaking orgasm” wasn’t entirely appropriate or feasible, to say the least.

When the ship slowed to a final stop, you took notice of the engineers flocking to the scene to log return reports and you heard the unfastening of safety restraints coming from the cabin behind you. You stood quickly, affording yourself a quick glance down at your superior, who was looking rather inferior at the moment. He frantically shoved his robes into his lap, laying the control panel’s data pad across the fabric to further conceal the growing wet spot in his pants.

You stifled a smile and a snicker and turned from him to face Hux and Bailey. Hux was grinning, no – genuinely smiling. It could not have been described as anything other than pride. You stifled a smile at that, too. Bailey seemed impressed again, but decidedly quieter this time around. You joined the two at the back of the cabin and awaited your Commander’s orders.

He took his own sweet time, logging the last little bit into the data pad before standing. He struggled with his cloak at first, careful to appear as unstudied as possible. He faced the group of you, no hint whatsoever as to his declining climax or the spent wet spot between his legs. He regarded your group for a moment, expression indistinguishable behind the mask, before he finally spoke.

“You did surprisingly well, Knight. We’ll depart after the weekend.” He said simply, as matter of fact.

You were sure the others had not heard it, but you did. There was the smallest, slightest, touch of humor in his voice. It was masked thickly by his helmet’s synthesizer and his choice of words, but you felt it there, sweet in the air between you two. Yes, you had forgiven him. Made him pay a little price for his dishonesty and surprised him with skills he hadn’t known you possessed. He would have questions later, surely. But for now, you were content with this.

“Yes, I think your assignment should continue as scheduled on Monday.” Hux agreed, folding his hands behind his back.

You smiled then, briefly, before turning to Bailey. You weren’t expecting him to have _anything_ to say, but you certainly weren’t expecting what came next. Almost as if he spewed the nonsense in slow motion, you wished you could stop the vomitous words before they poured from his lips. His face was split in an awestruck smile, eyes twinkling like a smitten schoolboy as he said:

“That’s my girl!” He said enthusiastically.

The Force felt disturbed behind you. Wrath rolled from Kylo like angry waves crashing against your backbone. You turned halfway to him, trying not to look conspicuous in doing so, but the electric which suddenly filled the air was suffocating. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in his direction, much less breath the same air. Hux seemed not to take notice, hands clasped comfortably behind his back, smiling warmly at Officer Bailey.

“Officers, you’re dismissed. Go, have some well-deserved lunch.” He suggested in an uncharacteristically chipper tone.

Bailey made a move toward the shuttle door, but your feet seemed stuck in place. You were listening to the way The Force crackled around Kylo, similar to the faint crackle of his deadly weapon. You were frozen, treading the waves of his anger which threatened to swallow the room whole. To avoid suspicion, your feet moved almost involuntarily, instinct taking over to preserve your shared secrets.

As you neared the door, Bailey held back to walk with you. You noticed him shoot a look back in the direction of the Commander and felt the rush of fury that followed. You were almost knocked down by it, stumbling toward the ramp. Bailey extended his arm, not quite so quick as Kylo would have ( _could have_ , you corrected). However, he had caught you. Prevented you from falling on your face, nonetheless.

The third wave of rage immediately followed. You weren’t sure how he kept himself still back there, his rage was rippling off him, unstable and volatile, it felt like he might explode at any given second. Almost in answer, you heard two heavy footsteps thud against the steel floor. They echoed toward you from the helm of the ship where the Commander had been standing, halted quickly by your father’s voice.

“Hold back a moment, Ren. I’d like to speak with you.” His voice sounded small and smarmy.

As Bailey and yourself descended the ramp, you felt out for Kylo with your mind, but the distance was straining against you and exhaustion from your previous efforts on The Force had drained you. He would have to fare. He was Kylo _fucking_ Ren. He would be just fine. At least, that’s what you told yourself as you followed Officer Bailey out of the Hangar Bay and down the bright white halls.

****Kylo’s Perspective****

The slight redheaded man turned to Kylo. General Hux paced for a moment. Kylo noted, resentfully, the stale air of the Hangar Bay begin to permeate the warmth of the ship, taking over the lovely scent of the fresh snow she had just collected during flight. The stench of sweat and grease and fuel fumes all but evaporated the smell of her skin that was still hanging around Kylo’s neck like a noose. He lost patience with Hux rather quickly, breaking the silence.

“What, Hux?” He snapped, agitation evident in his voice, even under the synthesized metal.

The General assessed him, hedging his bets carefully. He sucked his teeth, mulling the words in his mouth before uttering them in the dead air.

“What’s your concern with my daughter, Ren?”

Hux was able to keep his voice entirely level, without a synthesizer and protective buffer of metal. Kylo envied that greatly as his breath caught in his lungs. The smallest flicker of her face came to his mind and he pushed it away, desperate to disassociate as quickly as possible. He straightened his back and squared his shoulders – his mind wiping clear to focus on a façade.

“I’m not concerned.” He said, blankly.

Kylo was so successful in sounding completely apathetic, Hux questioned his own suspicion for a moment. His thin, ginger eyebrows furrowing at his sudden loss of an argument. _No,_ he floundered, _Persist._

“Explain your concern with Bailey.”

Kylo huffed an exasperated sigh, dramatic in the chilling air of the cabin.

“Oh, _I’m sorry_. I was the one responding to a _harassment_ claim on behalf of _your_ daughter.”

Kylo had no patience for this, not with Bailey escorting her through the halls at that very moment. Not when he had so many questions for her and her sudden but sure use of The Force. Not when he had so many things he wanted to do to punish her dirty little –

Hux sniffed, pulling Ren from his thoughts.

“ _Please_ , it was hardly dishonest, let alone harassment.” He persisted, arms tight behind his back.

Kylo relaxed his tensing jaw in the privacy of his helmet.

“Your daughter is of no concern to me, Hux.” He sneered. “I couldn’t care less.”

Despite the icy chill of the Commander’s voice, General Hux was still uncertain.

“The shuttle door was shut upon my arrival, Ren. The two of you were alone together.” His voice was tentative, fury fading into a desperate justification of his fears.

“It was a preflight inspection, Hux. She had to check the airtight locks.” Kylo slipped into boredom at the General’s interrogation, the reality of his yawn entirely too convincing.

“And I train her every day. We’re alone constantly. Just like you and I are alone at this very moment. Do you find me that intoxicating yourself, you figure your daughter must also?” Kylo snickered, sounded genuinely amused.

Hux blushed furiously, scrambling to find his way back to a more solid argument.

“Bailey claimed you assaulted him.” Hux said quietly, his demeanor losing its edge, argument clearly falling apart.

Kylo bounded for the opportunity. “Bailey is a sniveling coward. He wanted to impress her, found he couldn’t keep his promises, and lied to cover his own ass.”

Kylo crossed his arms a little defiantly, genuinely growing more and more agitated with the conversation wasting his valuable time.

Hux raised an eyebrow at him, a carefully placed trap that Kylo had waded into unwittingly. “But why does that matter, Ren? Who cares if he wants to impress the girl?”

Kylo could strangle him for his indifference towards his own daughter. He wanted to crush his windpipe in his fist for leading him into a trap, but he was quick to respond, answering before he knew what he would say.

“I won’t stand for your daughter to spread lies of how I wouldn’t allow opportunities for her. You and your little brat could conspire against me; seek to overthrow me.” He mused, arms tight across his chest. It hurt him to speak of her that way, but he’d done it. He was hopeful it would be enough.

Hux sighed. “Even if she would comply with a scheme like that, it would never be enough to convince Leader Snoke.”

Kylo relaxed all over, having convinced the General of his feigned indifference.

“How right.” He sneered, anxious to distance himself from this conversation. “Now that I’ve convinced you of the _truth_ , I’ll take my leave. I have more important things to attend to than worry over some childish girl.”

Kylo strode quickly away from the confines of the shuttle, Hux trailed behind a few steps. They departed in different directions from the Hangar Bay. Hux, on his way to pick up lunch. Ren, on his way to pick up the childish girl he’d been so worried over. He grinned in the privacy of his helmet, giddy as he felt forward for her through the halls. Elated when he sensed her familiar thoughts all too close to his favorite place.

She was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself - Sometimes I feel the need to post everything I just finished editing for fear that if I sit on it a few days, I will second guess myself. I hope you enjoy :) Feedback gives me so much life.


	16. Answers Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our reader sees a new side of Kylo Ren - one that's entirely different than the man we're used to :)

You kept a safe distance from Bailey during your walk from the Hangar Bay. His smile grew more and more irritating with each passing step. At first, he babbled on about your performance today. Reiterating how impressed he was at how effortless you’d made it look. He’d droned on and on about how there was no other pilot in the order who had excelled so quickly.

Then, at his realization that you were not one for conversation at the moment, he attempted to stifle his flattery and grew quiet. You noticed, as he grew more silent, he came closer to you in the wide halls. At one point, his hand brushed yours when a larger group of troopers passed the pair of you in the halls. You had thought nothing of it. But a few moments later, in an otherwise empty hall, it had happened again.

“Look, Bailey.” You began, hands raising defensively between you.

“Call me Kent.” He interjected, leaning in with a smile.

He looked like an innocent child, though you sensed his intentions were far from it.

“No. Bailey, I have this feeling you think something is-“ You stopped short as the stocky build of the officer blocked your route through the hall.

“The cafeteria is that way.” His brow raised quizzically, pointing a finger down the hall you had begun to pass.

You assessed him briefly before side stepping. “Yes, I know.”

He grabbed your elbow a little too sharply.

“Hux told us to get lunch. Where are you going?” He asked, heavy brows furrowed over his blue eyes.

“I’m not hungry, Bailey.” You side stepped around him, continuing on your path.

You were mildly annoyed to hear his footsteps following after you.

“Please call me Kent.” He caught up pretty quickly, leaning over where you could see him out of the corner of your eye.

“No, thank you.” You responded, desperate to put some distance between you two.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?” He asked, unwilling to let you gain much space.

You turned, stopping at the side of the hall.

“I’m fine, I’m going back to my room – to pack.” Of course, you had already packed, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, want some company?” He asked sweetly, so innocent.

You fought the natural urge to curl your lip back in response.

“Uh, no. Thanks, though.” You began to walk again, only to be pulled back once more.

“Ugh, would you stop grabbing me?” You growled a bit harsher than intended.

He recoiled from you, eyes darting to the ground.

“Sorry, are you still mad that I lied? I didn’t mean to-“ he rambled.

“No, I just want to go pack. All that was confusing and scary and, right now, I’m exhausted. Can we talk when I get back from the Finalizer?” You pleaded, true exhaustion selling your story.

Exhaustion from this infuriating conversation.

“Well, I’m going too, so I hope we can talk before then…” He mumbled, eyes on his feet.

“What?” You narrowed your eyes at him, confused.

“I took an assignment on the Finalizer – battle pilot. It’s just for the next eight weeks until my promotion is secured here.”

You contemplated.

“Did you take this to…” surely he wasn’t trying to stay close to you.

He thought it was ridiculous too. “Gods, no. I already took it before I met you. It’s temporary.”

You nodded, feet making a move for the direction toward Sector C.

“Well, that’s great. We can talk later, then. I need to go pack.” You took another step, hopeful he would get the hint.

His brows knit together again. “You live in Sector C?”

“Kent…!” you were exasperated, tired of the interaction.

His eyes lit up a bit, stupid hope, and infatuation. You rolled your eyes.

“Sorry, go pack. I’ll see you on the Finalizer sometime in the next few days.” He turned halfway in the opposite direction.

You gave him a tired smile and waved at him as you turned to part ways. You sighed, thankful for the silence during the remainder of your walk. You reached your room, dipping in so quickly to grab your bag that you had left by the door. You slung it over your shoulder and locked the panel for an extended leave, just for safe measure, while you would be gone.

You continued down the hall, boarding the elevator down to the floor below. You hadn’t been sure when you had made this decision, but there was nowhere else on the entire base you’d wanted to be. You were drawn to his quarters like a moth to a flame, mindless and instinctive. When you reached his door, you looked around for a moment to assure the coast was clear before pressing your palm to the panel and slipping inside.

When you had disappeared into the sanctuary of his dark quarters, you took a deep steadying breath. His scent hung faintly in the cool air of the room, you sucked it down into grateful, starved lungs. You sat your bag on the floor at the edge of the new bed and peeled the uniform pants from your legs. The fabric was not forgiving of your sweat ridden skin, sticking in all the crevices of your legs. You had just finished peeling them away when you sensed him close by.

He bridged his thoughts with yours and you opened your mind to him as you unbuttoned the uniform shirt. You could feel him, could feel him pick up the pace as his mind and body neared yours. He was very close now, just a brief elevator ride away from the room. You could sense irritation take over him suddenly, his mind went rigid and aggravated.

_Seriously? Ten troopers in one elevator?_

His Force voice was warm and sweet. You couldn’t quite tell if he’d tried to worm that into your head, or if it just landed there by accident. You snickered as you folded your uniform and placed it on one of his open shelves. You selected a warm sweater of his and sheathed your cooling skin with it, crossing the room to crawl to the middle of his bed. You touched him lightly with your thoughts, like a tap on his shoulder.

_Elevator etiquette, Commander._

Your voice was welcomed in his head.

 _Tell them that. This is a_ fucking _fire hazard._

He responded.

You’d just nestled your way under the covers when the door slid open. He rounded the corner, cloak falling to his feet as he passed the threshold, quickly followed by his discarded helmet. His face was revealed, dark hazel eyes frenzied and intent on finding you. His eyes found their mark, landing on you curled in his bed. His mouth fell open when he saw you, hands immediately finding the collar of his armor, tearing it away from his broad chest. He strode quickly to the edge of the bed, knee resting, for a moment, on the edge of the mattress to steady his body against the removal of his remaining armor.

“Great, you’re already where I need you.” He breathed, voice raspy and torn.

You swallowed the saliva that watered in your mouth as he stripped the outer clothes away from his muscular shoulders. Then his hands were on you, long arms extended to grab your ankles through the fabric of his comforter. He grasped them and pulled you towards him, your back fell flat against the bed as you were pulled to your commander. His hands frantically shredded away the blanket from atop your body, revealing your small frame swathed in his sweater.

“Mmm,” he moaned, eyes wide on your outfit choice. “Good girl.”

You smirked, cocked a brow up at him.

“What’s that, Commander?”

He returned the naughty grin, teeth bared – ready to take a bite out of you.

“You’re already nearly undressed, that’s good.”

His lips landed against your stomach, feeling the sensitive flesh with his pillowy lips. Your head swam in cloudy pleasure which rolled through you like warm summer waves. Your fingers found his dark tresses and you dug your digits into the silky strands, pulling his face flush to your hips. His large hands pushed the fabric of his sweater up your abdomen, bunching it up past your breasts until he’d exposed them to the air.

He wrestled them free of your bra, teasing your pink buds between his nimble fingertips. His mouth was lavishing your soft skin in attention, planting sweet kisses lower and lower until he teased the waistband of your panties with his teeth and tongue. His right hand left your breast, laying his palm against your ribs with his fingers spread wide. His hand blazed a burning trail down your abdomen until his fingers met the thin fabric of your undergarments.

“I thought you might have questions first.” You blurted out, surprised he hadn’t brought up the subject yet.

His head rose to look up at you over the length of your body. His eyelids were heavy, desire threatened to glue them shut. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips were ruddy from his fevered kisses. His hair was ruffled, and his towering frame was bent over you, knelt on his knees between your legs. You wondered, distantly, when you had spread them. Or perhaps he had done it himself. You were unsure.

“Oh, I do.” He breathed, his hot breath washing over your sensitive core.

You squirmed at the sudden rush of heat, earning a flash of brilliant white teeth as Kylo smiled down at you, raising from his crouch over your body.

“And you’ll give me answers… later.” He smiled again, sharp teeth the most beautiful threat you’ve ever seen.

It was evident you were moments away from being devoured from the feral beast knelt before you and you couldn’t wait for him to sink those teeth into your flesh. You begged to be torn apart – ravaged beyond repair. The sensitive mound between your legs began to salivate at the thought, arousal beginning to drip through the fabric of your undergarments. You wriggled your hips against the sensation.

He lay the length of his torso over yours, careful to support his own weight for the most part.

“You teased me…” He kissed between your collarbone, the small dip in your throat.

You hummed in agreement against the touch of his lips.

“I think I did more than that…” You mused, arms wrapped around his neck.

“That’s right…” He pulled away, arms holding him above your face.

“You’ll have to clean that up, you know.” His eyes flickered down to gesture towards himself.

“Looking forward to it, Commander.” You leaned up to nip at his lower lip.

He moaned into you, tongue pushing its way into your mouth.

“You’ve grown cocky, little one.” His voice was dark and sumptuous.

You groaned, the pet name sending a rush of wet warmth between your thighs. You bit down on your lip, careful to guard your reaction. Of course, it was useless to hide anything from him. He’d sensed it immediately, raising a brow as a low hum rattled through his chest and into yours. His hand snaked between your bodies, his long fingers searching for evidence of your arousal.

He’d found what he was looking for; the soft pads of his fingertips grazed the soaked fabric, slightly pressing his thumb to your clit. You bucked, hips bouncing up towards him, seeking out more of his touch. He leaned away from you, eyes playful and dark. You groaned, desire growing into a tight coil in your stomach. You didn’t want to beg for him. You’d had a taste of control and you wanted to keep it.

“Hmm, what got you so wet?” He retracted his hand, returning it to support his weight on the bed.

You wriggled your hips in protest, lips shut tightly as you refused to give him what he wanted on a platter. He appraised you before sitting back on his knees again and pulling the sweater off of you. Your skin prickled in the chilly air.

“Hey! I _just_ put that on.” You protested meekly.

He grinned, pleased with himself.

“I know.” He bit his own lip, rolling the pillowy flesh between his teeth.

Your breath caught in your throat as he studied you.

“What do you want, little one?” He breathed.

You squirmed again, the pet name melted your insides to goo. He took notice this time, realizing the connection.

“ _Oh_ , you like that?” He mewed, brow raised in question.

You chewed your lip and nodded, staring at him from underneath your heavy lashes.

He grasped your chin gently in his large hand, his fingers caressed your lips.

“You like it when I call you names, sweetheart?” You went limp, pussy lips drooling for Kylo Ren.

“Yes sir.” The words spilled from your lips unwillingly.

You were losing control.

“You’ve exercised _great_ control today, baby girl.” He cooed, his long fingers pushing their way past your parted lips.

You realized faintly that he was inside your head, filtering through your thoughts.

“Just let go for a little while and let me take care of you, darling.”

Your eyelids drifted closed, your head rolled back against the cloudy down bed. You entwined your fingers in his soft hair, tugging him gently to your lips. He kissed you slowly, intoxicating you with scorching, feverish nips and kisses. His tongue rolled against yours, massaging the muscle to bend under his will. You mewled under him, hips spreading wide for him to lay his body in between your legs. His fingers caressed the back of your thighs and crawled their way to your buttocks.

He pulled away for a moment to free your breasts from the confines of your bra. You opened your eyes to watch him marvel at the sight of you underneath him. He discarded his own shirt. His eyes were a honeyed amber-gold as he drank in the image – committing every curve to his memory. He palmed your chest, rolling a breast in one hand. You had large breasts, larger than average, but they seemed so small in his grasp. He was a mountain; he made you feel so tiny underneath him.

“Fuck, what are you doing..?” He asked, quietly; his voice torn.

Your brows knit together, lips pursed into a small frown.

“What?” You began to worry.

He pressed a fingertip to your brow, soothing it under his touch.

“What are you doing.. here with _me_? You’re an angel…” He was soft and sweet. His words were molten caramel, causing a pool of heat between your legs.

“Sweet little angel…” He said again, towering shoulders bending down over you to press his lips against the skin above your heart. “Too good for me…”

“But you’re… mine.” He breathed.

You pulled him into another kiss, sweeter this time than before. You could feel him lose a grip on his own control, breaking the kiss to fumble with the buckle on his pants. He shoved down the fabric, his erection digging into your stomach as he kicked the trousers away from him. You pushed your panties down as well, frantic for him to sheath himself inside you. You noticed the gleam of your juices streak your inner thighs as you removed the undergarments. They were mismatched, you noticed. A red bra and black panties. You wished, distantly, you hadn’t been so careless this morning.

“I hadn’t noticed, baby.” He assured you, eyeing you like a meal.

Yes, you were a meal. And he looked hungry.

He smirked, full lips twisting to one side of his face. His hair fell into his eyes a bit as he grasped either one of your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance.

“I’m fucking _ravenous_ , baby doll.” His voice was husky and dripping with honey.

He pushed into you, his length stretching your cunt wide around him. You were so absolutely drenched, he hadn’t needed to slick himself against your folds. He glided into you like he’d belonged there. Sliding in until he was seated fully inside you, eliciting a long groan from his parting lips. You were hot and tight around his cock and you could feel him throbbing, pulsing against your stretched walls.

“Fu-uuuck, kitten.” He groaned, hips drawing himself out of you a small bit before he plowed back in, forcing you to take him deeper.

He grabbed your ass cheeks, fingers dug in between the flesh of your buttocks, and spread them wide. Immediately, you felt him seat himself deeper, the invasion no longer burned quite as hot at your stretched hole. You whined, feeling the head of his dick penetrate some deep part of you that had never been touched before. You had no doubt there was not another man in any galaxy who could fill you so full. Your eyes rolled back into your head. You felt Kylo’s breath at your neck, his breathing labored and shaky.

“That’s right, sweetheart… Just me.” He pumped into you a bit harder, your hips cracked to take him.

His thumb pressed gingerly against your clit, then, making you buck against him. The soft head of his cock hit a spot inside you which gained a shattering groan from your lips. He appraised your reaction and pulled out, eyes on you like a hawk. He waited for you to make eye contact, rubbed a small circle on your clit which made you shudder under him, and slammed into the spot again. You shrieked, a bloodcurdling cry ravaged your lungs and echoed across his room. He stared, openmouthed, amazed at you.

“Fuck! Kyl-Ooooh!” You moaned as his hips found a rhythm in your cunt.

“Yesyesyesyesyes…” You babbled in tune with his thrusts.

His eyes were trained on you, watching you lose your mind as you quickly unraveled.

“There you go, doll.” He purred.

“Come for me, sweetness.” He kissed your throat.

He rocked into you, your walls tight and pulsating around him. He could feel his own climax rolling in, control slipping from his grasp. But not until he’d made you come first. He snapped into you, hips slapping yours with a wet smack as your skin met over and over again. His grip on your ass cheeks was bruising, his fingernails dug deep into the sensitive flesh.

You cried out again, unintelligible from your growing pleasure. The coil in your stomach was tight and ready to spring. Kylo could feel your walls contract, milking him, pulling him deeper into you. He buried himself inside you, sure that he was slamming his dick into your cervix every time. He was impressed how well you could take it, though it must feel like he was splitting you in half. And it did. You came close, climax building quickly.

“ _Fuck_ , come on my cock, little girl.” He growled into your neck.

His breathing was losing pace, hips snapping furiously against yours.

“Want to… _ah_ , gods, _fuckyoufeel_ so _good_ …” Kylo was losing track of his words.

You dug your nails into his scalp, hoping for a bit of traction as you angled your hips up towards him. You gained a perfect angle where he was able to hit that spot directly, your orgasm beginning to build - that white light behind your eyes. Kylo felt it too, the shift. The sting of your crescent nails against his scalp giving him a brief moment of clarity to finish his thought.

“ _I want to feel you come on my cock, baby_.”

You yelped, stars shooting across the inside of your eyelids as you came. Kylo was seated so deep inside you, it felt like your cunt was swallowing his length into your orgasm. A gurgled moan ripped its way through your chest as you came down from your high. Your head bobbed against Kylo’s rock hard chest, cheek smacking the steel pectoral hard enough to bruise. He was close, you could distinguish the inconsistent thrusts amongst his panting breath. You gazed up at his face, his eyes watched his efforts as he slammed in and out of you without mercy, chasing his own climax.

“Come inside me.” You whispered.

His eyes darted to meet yours, groan shredding his throat.

“ _Wha-_?” His breath was coming out quick.

You grasped his hips to yours, lips parting as you could feel him begin to shake with the effort of holding on and holding back. He toed a thin line. You swallowed hard, digging your nails into his hips, holding him to you. His eyes searched yours frantically, his honey irises glowed like flames. His arms shook, his entire body was vibrating with holding back. He was so close to orgasm and was still inside you. He’d never come inside a woman before. Not even close. Kylo was the pillar of control. And the pillar began to crumble like ancient ruins.

“I… _can’t_. FUCK!” He roared, his hands dug into you.

“Come inside me, _please_!” You whined.

He let go, spilling his seed deep inside your cunt. Your walls contracted around him, swallowing the sticky sweetness. He collapsed, unable to support the weight as his legs twitched out of his control. He spasmed, cock throbbing inside your core. His knee gained a bit of traction on the bed and he pushed into you once more, groaning in euphoric pleasure before collapsing again. His weight was suffocating, but you managed.

The warm feeling blooming in your chest kept you breathing for him. Your labored tears fell down your cheeks, blissful and incapable of being touched. You smoothed his hair under your hands as he nuzzled against your neck, still trying to catch his breath. You kissed the crown of his head and clenched around him again, earning a long, rippling moan from the man collapsed on top of you. He pulled himself up a bit, after countless minutes, and gazed into your eyes.

“You’re amazing, little one.” He grinned, his smile genuine, touching both of his eyes.

You kissed the tip of his long nose and grinned back, weary from your efforts. You reveled in the way he was looking at you. A feeling you’d never named began to bubble inside your chest. You feared it; you feared his reaction, if he’d heard it to. You noticed his mind was no longer bridged with yours but tested the waters first, to be safe and sure you wouldn’t fuck this up.

_You here?_

He didn’t respond.

You slowly allowed the feeling to name itself. It made your chest bloom, heart ached like you’d just dropped 1,000 feet. The feeling shook you whole: love.

“I feel the same of you, Commander.” You said back, eyelids fluttering closed again.

“You can call me Kylo. Anywhere we’re alone.” He said softly.

You opened your eyes again and considered him. You wondered if he could ever feel the same… The look in his eyes made you wonder if he already did.

“Kylo…” You repeated quietly, content with this small piece he’d given you.

It wasn’t like he was giving you everything – just a small piece of himself. He was Kylo _fucking_ Ren. He would never belong to anyone. You knew that. He would likely never love you, you needed to learn to be happy with what small part he could give you.

“Anywhere we’re alone… _I’m yours_.” He said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeep! What do you all think?


	17. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we enter the weekend with a family breakfast and a meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke.

You had thought Kylo might be there when you woke up; but his enormity was absent from the bed.. You rolled around the vast sea of green sheets for a time, kneading the pads of your feet against the mattress and stretching your limbs in every direction. You found yourself smiling, more than once, at the thought that he had bought this bed to better accommodate you. You grinned sleepily into the pillows, rolling to find his pillow and buried your nose in the lingering scent of his skin. You looked around the room, unsure of the time from the lack of light, and your hand blindly searched for your data pad on the bedside table.

You woke the screen to a message from your father.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: General Hux**

**Time: 08:45**

**How would you like to join me for breakfast this morning in my suite? To celebrate your assignment, of course.**

It had been sent 15 minutes ago.

**Compose Outgoing Message:**

**Yes, I’d like that. Would about a half hour be okay? I need to shower. |**

Not waiting for his response, you pulled yourself from the covers, feet landing gently on the floor and began to pad toward the restroom silently. Too suddenly for the morning, you were startled by his office door sliding open and even more startled to see Kylo standing shirtless in the doorway. Blissfully unconcerned about your nakedness, you felt the immediate urge to run into his arms; again startled when the big bear of a man opened his arms wide and bent to pick you up as you ran to him. He spun you around, grinning ear to ear, and you took a mental picture of the adorable dimples you’d never seen before.

“What are you doing up? I figured after our night, you’d be out until this afternoon.” He grinned at you while he sat you back down on your feet.

You couldn’t help but giggle furiously as he rolled his face against your bare chest, impossibly large frame bent over in order to be eye-level with your breasts.

“The General wants to have breakfast, I need to shower and meet him.” You pet his wild bed head away from his eyes.

He looked up at you.

“Ugh, that slimy fuck?” His brows drew together in mock disgust.

Okay, maybe real disgust.

“He’s no fun – stay here with me today. I’m fun.” His hands wrapped around the small of your back, coaxing you into the softness of his exposed skin.

You quirked a brow at him. “Are you fun?” You asked between silent giggles.

He considered for a moment before answering. “Okay, maybe not; but I can entertain you.”

His lips rolled across your skin, wandering up your collarbone and along your neck. He peppered gentle pecks across your jaw and along your cheek; his soft lashes tickled your temples and tempted your lips open against the thrumming jugular in his neck. You allowed your attention to be diverted for a moment while he teased his fingertips down your spine, chills ran over your skin and gooseflesh raised in his wake. Your lids fell shut in defeat, too sleepy still to question his affections and much too giddy that he chose you to lavish them upon in the first place.

Your data pad vibrated in your hand. Kylo groaned audibly against the hollow of your shoulder, snatching the device from your grasp before you could stop him. He tossed it back to the bed with faux fury, destroying and silencing the incessant vibrations against the sea of sheets. You looked back to him, eyebrows raised and mouth gaping in a surprised open-mouthed smile. You laughed.

“I need to go see him.” You said quietly, smiling up at him.

He grimaced. “Grrruh.”

He reluctantly let go of your waist as you moved toward the restroom, grumbling, and following close behind while you started the shower. His hands fell heavy at your waist again, smoothing the curvature of your ass and teasing where your thigh met your ass cheek. You turned back, hands lightly pushing his away, earning an adorable pout from the man in front of you. He pushed down his soft sweatpants in a blur; already half-hard cock swaying against his bare thighs while he discarded them with a decisive kick.

“No, no, no.” You snickered at his eagerness. “There’s no time for that. I have to shower and leave with plenty of time to find the General’s quarters.”

Kylo smirked at that.

“We have time.” He assured you, grabbing for your waist as you both stepped back into the water.

The two of you became a tangled mess of limbs in the curtain of steam and water, the sex was hot and hurried and Kylo was overly aware of how sensitive you were from the night before. Of course, he wasn’t any easier on you by any means – torturously circling your raw clit until you came so furiously around his cock that he nearly saw stars himself. Thankfully, you had been turned away from him, with both your palms on the shower wall, and you hadn’t seen his enamored smile the entire time. Kylo Ren was pleasant as punch this Saturday morning, rather uncharacteristically so.

By the time you had stumbled away from the steamy restroom, he was full-on laughing at your clumsiness while exiting the shower. That tall drink of water – that absolute mountain of a man – was doubled over, with his hands on his knees, nearly wheezing at your inelegance. You, of course, had turned every shade of red from here to Naboo and playfully slapped his shoulder while pleading him to leave you be. He eventually calmed, wiping his laugh-crinkled eyes and swallowing giant breaths to steady his laughter. You shook your head, hair falling lose from the bun you had piled it into, and made your way past him to the bedroom.

“I’m going to be late, Kylo!” You called to him in the restroom, no longer in your line of sight.

You heard a quiet _hmph_ from the other room as you found your bag and rifled through to find something comfortable to wear to breakfast. You found a pair of pants that would work just fine, but you were having trouble finding a top that wasn’t meant for training or sleep. You had almost turned out your entire bag when Kylo padded in behind you, towel fixed neatly around his waist. He paused and considered you for a moment, blank stare falling on the mess you were making in his floor. You smiled up at him sheepishly.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

You brushed hair out of your face and continued to rummage.

“I can’t find a shirt. I only have training clothes and my uniform.”

You watched as he crossed the room and selected a sweater from his shelf, then handed it to you without saying a word. You accepted it gratefully and snatched a bra from the bag without being picky. As you wrestled to clothe yourself quickly, Kylo meandered about his room leisurely. You watched him pace slowly from his restroom to his office, collecting his clothing piece by piece off his wall of shelves. You packed away the remainder of your clothes and zipped up the bag, turning your attention to finding your discarded shoes.

“I’m probably so late.” You mumbled, grinning behind the curtain of hair that had fallen to hide your face.

A shirtless Kylo retrieved your data pad from the bed and checked the time that was displayed on the screen. Smirking, he held the phone out to you.

“You’ll make it in plenty of time, little one.”

You ignored the rush of wet heat between your thighs and checked the time for yourself. No, you were definitely going to be late. You had three minutes until you had said you’d be there. Without opening the message from the General, you glanced back up at Kylo with a small frown.

“No, I’m going to be late. I have three minutes.”

Kylo grinned, turning to hide his face as a silent chuckle made its way through his lips. You frowned again, turning your attention to the incoming message on your screen.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: General Hux**

**Time: 09:04**

**Yes, that’s fine. My suite is C12. I’ll see you at 09:30.**

Your brows knit together, jaw dropped, and you looked to Kylo. Sensing your glare, he turned with a small smile stuck to his lips. You let out a rush of incredulous breath.

“Kylo?” You asked, feeling the Force touch your skull and pushing it away.

His grin widened. “Yes?”

You pursed your lips, picking your jaw up off the floor.

“What’s your room number?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

He chewed at his bottom lip, trying uselessly to hide the smirk that was making its way through.

“C10.” He said shortly before erupting into laughter.

You wanted to be mad, but the way his freckled shoulders shook with his fit of chuckles was entirely too appealing for you to be mad at. You simply shook your head, adjusting his sweater to tuck slightly into the front of your pants, suddenly wanting to remain quiet for fear of what the neighbor’s might hear. He laughed for a while, almost too long, dimples deep set in his flushed cheeks. He looked good enough to eat. You walked up to him, wrapped your arms around his bare shoulders and forced him to meet your eyeline. His giggles subsided, but the grin remained; he smiled down at you and rested his hands at the small of your back.

“You’re a monster.” You whispered half-heartedly against his lips.

He smirked, one hand coming up to grasp your chin ever so lightly, raising your lips to his. He kissed you gently, softly, his honeyed tongue sliding innocently over your bottom lip.

“Yes I am.” He whispered back.

You made a move for the door, turning back to him to wait for the signal to walk out. He held up a hand, eyes far away, a signal that someone must have been in the hall.

“What will you be doing today?” You asked quietly.

“I have a meeting with Snoke.” He answered at full volume before nodding that it was okay to leave the room.

You nodded, smiling at this brief moment of domesticity between the two of you.

“Have a nice day at work, honey.” You said mockingly before pressing your palm to the panel.

As the door slid shut behind you, you saw him grin and shake his head at your nonsense. Your attention now on the deserted hallway, you looked dead ahead at the door across the hall. “C11” printed neatly on the metal plate outside the door. You looked to the right, beginning to walk towards the next door on your side of the hall. You recalled what Kylo had said a few days ago.

_“Yes,” He said through shaky breaths. “I have neighbors.”_

Smug bastard could have stood to mention that your father was once of them. At the very least before he had you in his quarters night after night screaming his name against the durasteel walls. You had hoped, now more than ever, that those walls were as thick as they looked. Your feet halted at the door. “C12” printed neatly and steadied your fist to knock on the steel. After a few moments, the door slid open and your father stood before you with an unexpected smile to greet you. You returned the same pained grin as he stepped aside to allow you access to the room.

****Kylo's Perspective****

When Kylo had fully dressed, taking his own sweet time in doing so, he was ready to march toward the office where he would be holding the hologram meeting with the Supreme Leader. He had fussed with his cloak thrice over and recited his speech just as many times. As a Sith and Master of the Knights of Ren (and perhaps even as a Skywalker, the blood that ran in his veins) it was Kylo’s duty to report the findings of his Force-using pilot. Though the nature of their… well, what would he call it? The nature of their _acquaintanceship_ was certainly something he had hoped would remain carefully hidden from Leader Snoke.

He started the transmission, listening to empty dial tones as he nervously mulled over the talking points once more in his head, and waited for Snoke to answer. The molecules of light shuffled, the dial tones halted, and the molecules hurriedly rearranged into the semblance of the Supreme Leader. His haphazard features and movements carefully reenacted by the hologram. His head tilted to the side curiously as his eyes found Kylo, curious as to the sudden correspondence from his young apprentice.

“Is it the droid?” His ancient voice filled the silence in Kylo’s quarters.

Kylo hadn’t known he’d been holding his breath until then, exhaling a rush of hot air all at once.

“No, Supreme Leader. Not yet.” He folded his hands behind his back, respectfully.

Snoke appraised him, gaze falling to the side on something in his own end.

“Then to what do I owe the pleasure, Commander Ren?” His preoccupied gaze afforded Kylo some cover for his pitch.

“I have to report a Force user – a girl – on Starkiller.” Snoke’s eyes met Kylo’s through the holoprojector.

Intrigue and threat mixed in his glassy pupils, Kylo could see it even from here.

“Go on.”

Reader:

The General’s quarters were much as could be expected, little decoration and monochromatic. No indication of the shells or sand of your home planet, which decorated your family home so intricately, no doubt at the hands of your mother. Now it was clear that she was the only one who loved to see the beach in her own home. Your father’s ‘suite,’ as he’d called it, was tidy with minimal furnishings or decoration. A smart dining table was fixed in the kitchenette, radiating lovely smells of bacon and eggs and blood pudding. Your nose coaxed your feet further into the room.

“A full breakfast today, sir?” You asked as you craned your neck to see the contents of the pan.

You were ecstatic to find more than enough blood pudding for the pair of you, as it was a favorite between you both. He walked himself into the kitchen, entering your line of sight. You noticed, even now, he was decked out in full uniform. First thing in the morning, making himself and his daughter breakfast in his own private quarters, he was smartly dressed in his First Order uniform and medals fixed to the lapels. You shook your head, shaking loose the smile that threatened to spring up at the sight.

“Tea?” The General offered with his back to you.

“Yes, sir. Please.” You responded quickly.

“Could I help you set the table, sir?” You asked, tucking your data pad into your back pocket.

“Yes, the plates are in this cupboard.” He pointed to his right.

The two of you worked around each other in a comfortable silence; yourself, sitting the plated on the counter by his pan and placing silverware amidst the napkins and tea set on the dining table. You poured yourself a cup as he began plating, taking a small sip to ascertain it’s temperature. Scalding, as you liked it.

“Your tea?” You asked quietly as he placed your plate in front of you before retrieving his own.

“Yes, two sugars, if you’d please.” He nodded once, curtly.

You did as he’d instructed, dropping two sugar cubes into the cup, and remembering not to stir as you returned his cup to his saucer. He placed his own plate in front of him and the two of you began eating in another stretch of comfortable silence. It had always been this way between the two of you, quiet and terse and somewhat reverent. You had minded it more in your childhood, but now you almost enjoyed it. The simple fact of the matter being that you enjoyed comfortable silences. Being around your father was never much work – he was smarmy and demanding and anal at times, but at the end of the day he was still your father.

And this morning, your father had made you breakfast – his grown daughter – in celebration of your successes. You smiled as you chewed gratefully on your ample serving of blood pudding, watching your father mash and spread the beans on his toast. You passed him the salt instinctively, pleased to see him smile knowingly as you did so. And once you’d finished your tea in two swift gulps, your father promptly refilled your cup for you, knowing you’d want at least one more cup with the beverage was still piping hot. In turn, he lifted his own cup to his lips and blew cold air on it for easily thirty seconds before testing the temperature with his tongue.

“Too hot.” He declared as matter of fact.

You smiled, reaching for his toast that he had so diligently prepared.

“That’s mine, young lady.” He chided mockingly as he had already begun to prepare another slice for himself.

The pair of you spent the rest of your meal going back and forth between bouts of contented quiet and soft, safe conversation.

****Kylo's Perspective****

“And so we have an agreement, then?” Snoke concluded, hands folding in his lap.

Kylo bit his lip under the safety of his helmet.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I’ll work on it right away.” His modulated voice hid any signs of trepidation that may have lingered there.

Snoke nodded. “Appoint Cardo; he’s sensible and strong enough. Keep me posted with her training. We’ll keep this from Hux, for now.”

Kylo nodded as well, pleased to hear that Snoke had agreed with him that his knight being an asset for training her. The hologram went staticky before the transmission ended. Just in time, as he heard the door slide open in the other room. He discarded his helmet and held it under his arm as he left the office. There she was, swathed in his oversized sweater and smiling at him from the door. He could sense in her Force that her breakfast had gone well, shocked to find himself pleased that she was so content.

“Hello.” She grinned, discarding her shoes by the door.

She eyed the helmet in his arms. “Is your meeting soon?”

He sat the helmet on the shelf and descended on her. “No, it just wrapped up.”

He reached for her waist, pulling her to his chest. “Did you bring me leftovers?”

She giggled, cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink.

“Oh yeah, I have the General bringing over some leftover blood pudding for you.” She joked sarcastically.

Kylo made a face, sticking his tongue out in disgust and screwing up his nose.

“Bleck, which do I hate more? Hux or… whatever the fuck blood pudding is.”

She snickered, smoothing the wrinkle between his brows.

“How did the meeting go?” She asked.

He groaned in fake exhaustion and kissed her throat. His lips trailed down her neck and met her collarbone, nipped at the thin skin there. Her eyes fluttered shut, fingers threaded in his hair and tugged close to the scalp. He nuzzled her neck, inhaling the mix of his scent on her skin.

“It went fine.” He gave in, mouth watering against her pulse.

“Snoke wants you to be trained – you’ll meet with him tomorrow.”

She railed, her neck retracted and she stared at him with wide eyes.

“Me? Meeting with the Supreme Leader?” She asked, frenzied, panic finding purchase in her full stomach.

The contents of which threatened to spill from her with the uneasiness of her newfound situation. Kylo quieted her with soft coos, rubbing his thumb over her chin and cheek.

“It’s just a hologram. You’ll be okay.” He assured her, admiring the way her nose twitched like a frightened bunny.

“How about a bath to calm you down?” He wagged his eyebrows at her suggestively.

She burst into a fit of giggles. “We just showered an hour ago!” She protested weakly.

“And you distracted me the whole time. It wasn’t very relaxing.” He joked, narrowing his eyes sarcastically.

She huffed, quirking a brow up at him.

“You like being in the water, huh?” She recalled all the showers and baths they had taken – not that she minded. Being from an island on her home planet had raised her loving the water as well.

“Sure.” He agreed cursorily. “Which reminds me – you and I are taking a trip tomorrow. There’s a place Snoke wants me to show you.”

“Hmm,” She hummed as she backed away toward the restroom. “Okay.”

She discarded his sweater and pulled her pants over her ankles, revealing the smooth skin of her thighs. Kylo gulped, throat suddenly thick with desire. His pulse quickened as he followed the trail of her clothing to the restroom.

“Oh and by the way,” She called over the roar of water filling the tub.

“Hmm?” He said, blushing at the sight of her exposed skin as she sank into the tub.

“Blood pudding is sausage.” She smirked, lowering her lips under the cover of suds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, I always loved this chapter - but now that I'm posting it, I'm having second thoughts. Opinions?  
> Thank you all SO MUCh for your kudos, comments and continued support on this fic! I am thrilled to see you all react to each chapter :)


	18. A Dangerous Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Say it if you need to – I’m going to break you tonight.” He warned, freeing the thick member which tented his trousers so strenuously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the radio silence guys! I'm getting married in October and my irl husband required more attention than my book hubby, Kylo :)  
> I have these chapters written - but they need tons of editing and I'm between editors right now.
> 
> Let me know if you have any feedback - it's the only thing that keeps me posting!

The remainder of your Saturday was pleasant. You had met with Jane for lunch, spending some much-needed time with another woman, and afterwards Kylo had been gracious enough to defer your training for another day. You found yourself bold enough, even after his generosity, to ask him if you might be allowed to fly the Command Shuttle for a few hours to practice on your landings.

“Yes, your landing was rather shaky yesterday…” He had chided playfully.

You remembered his plea for cover in the frenzied anticipation of his climax and rolled your eyes, hitting him playfully on the arm with an open-handed pat. You scoffed.

“Right. Whose fault was that?” You asked rhetorically, biting your lip.

He’d answered anyway, of course.

“Mine, thank you very much.” He grinned.

It surprised you how quickly you had managed to allow yourself to grow used to him this way. When leaving his quarters, you shook your head as you passed your father’s door, laughing internally that he had let that information go untold for so long. You made your way to the hangar bay rather leisurely on that Saturday afternoon, unaware that you’d been smiling at every passerby on the route there and especially back.

It had been snowy that morning and the inches collected tirelessly across the landscape of Starkiller’s green forests. You had wanted to wander out and inspect it during flight, curious to see if it had felt like you’d always imagined or something more, though the message vibrating incessantly in your pocket begged to be read and answered before you could convince yourself to make the detour. As you landed the craft masterfully back onto the concrete floors of the hangar bay, you checked your data pad briefly before allowing the engineers to onboard.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 14:44**

**I allowed you to practice landing. Not fly the entire solar system.**

As you were typing a short response to his curt message, another message came through.

**Incoming Message:**

**Sender: Commander Ren**

**Time: 14:50**

**I have nothing to do today but you. Come back to my bed immediately!**

Though you weren’t entirely sure how he’d meant for you to read it, you had read it with endearment and felt your chest go full and warm all at once. You swallowed that feeling you weren’t ready to face and typed a quick, but earnest, reply.

**Compose Outgoing Message:**

**Roger that, Commander. Headed your way! |**

You could hardly contain your excitement as you struggled to contain your hurried pace back to his quarters. It was nearing sunset and the wide-open halls took on a lovely orange glow as you navigated towards him. You could feel his Force as you neared, or what you had assumed was his Force – an ebbing wave of energy. It felt like a summer tide drawing you back out to sea, leading your feet to his door.

The door slid into the wall to reveal the darkness of his space. The waves of energy swirling around in the room like smoke, settling heavily over the figure hunched in the doorway of his office. You forgot, sometimes, how large Kylo was. His shoulders met the breadth of the doorway entirely, maybe even overtook the space a little bit. His height brushed the frame just so, hair tickling the steel – were he a half inch taller, he may have to duck through the entryway.

His gaze was fixed on you, face half in shadow, eyes dark orbs taking residence in his lovely, angelic features. Your eyes locked and a smirk crawled its way over his lips to dimple the smooth skin of his cheek. You returned the grin, narrowing your eyes in, what you were hoping to be, a sexy smirk. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and held it captive with his teeth, rolling the flesh between his sharp incisors. Your breath hitched as his mind bridged with yours.

You could feel the acute sting in your lip as he linked the pain with you. It buzzed under his phantom touch, the sharpness of his teeth against the softness of your skin. It sent a wash of tumbling waves into your lower abdomen, slick collecting in your undergarments. You shuffled your weight between legs, pressing your thighs together to gain some friction on your stiffening clit. Kylo bucked unexpectedly, his hips rolling back, and his teeth suck deeper into the flesh of his lip, the pain much sharper this time.

It was then you realized the bridge worked both ways, he felt the nudge against his… well you got the picture. He smirked at your realization, breaking the bridge which snapped like an elastic band back into your mind. He extended a hand to you, palm up, and you joined him.

“You’re a lot stronger than you let on.” He mused quietly, reaching up to free your hair from the confines of your bun.

The hair tumbled loose across your shoulder and back.

“Am I?” You hummed, your palms laying flat on his broad chest.

A low growl reverberated through his chest and rumbled against your fingertips.

“Mhm.” He hummed agreeably.

“Strong enough… to take you?” Your voice was small, taking another small half-step into his chest.

One broad arm wrapped around you immediately.

He chuckled, one hand coming up to catch a strand of your hair between his nimble fingertips.

“That depends on how you want to _take me._ ” He said seductively, the wet heat pooling between your thighs more insistently now.

“I always go so easy on you, little pet.” He cooed into the dip of your neck.

You leaned back to look at him through narrowed eyes.

“Oh yeah? Try me.” You challenged.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, for your own good.” He continued to chuckle, unwrapping his limbs from your frame, and started to walk away.

Something inside you turned to flame. The urge to prove yourself raged against his casual, unconcerned chuckling.

“Ren.” You said sternly, planting your feet and squaring your shoulders to face him.

He halted and turned back to your slowly, eyes black and jaw tense.

“I said ‘ _try me’_.” You repeated, clenching your teeth so hard you feared your teeth might crack.

A vein protruded in his neck, he grit his teeth and swallowed hard before he answered.

“Oh… you’re going to regret this.” He warned darkly, curling his hands into fists at his side.

You took a sure step toward him, spine straight and rigid under his crippling gaze.

“We’ll see.” You toyed, batting your lashes.

He swallowed again, thickly, as if he’d taken a spoonful of molasses.

“Pick a word.” He muttered gruffly.

You felt your brow pinch together, knit tightly over your eyes.

“What?”

His patience was wearing thin, his self-control only held together by weak threads.

“A word. Anything. To let me know to stop – that you can’t go any further.”

Your brow remained furrowed, your eyes searching the hazel pools of his – wondering idly how they turned so black in moments like this.

“A safe word.” He continued. “You can say it at any time, and I will stop immediately.”

“How about ‘no’?” You mused.

He chuckled again, stiffly.

“No. You’ll say that anyway – something different and out of place.”

You considered for a moment.

“Naboo?”

No sooner than you had uttered the planet into existence, Kylo’s hands were on you. He pushed you to your knees in front of him, careless of the force in which your knees collided with the steel floor. He wasted no time shedding the layers of fabric away from his body, and you watched as each article of clothing was discarded to reveal more of the sizzling skin underneath.

“Say it if you need to – I’m going to break you tonight.” He warned, freeing the thick member which tented his trousers so strenuously.

He gripped the base and directed it toward your needy tongue, moans spilled from his slack lips as your tongue licked small kitten-like trails up the underside of the head. You watched a precum wept from the slit and trickled down. You caught it with the tip of your tongue, tasting him in your mouth. He allowed you to tease for a moment more until, all at once, he abandoned the grip on his cock and threaded his hands into your hair.

Then, like reins, he pulled your head to his hips and thrust himself deep into your throat. From the beginning, his pace was blinding and relentless. Immediately your eyes were teary and the angle in which he drove into you didn’t allow you to see his face, even as you blinked tears from your eyes. Your hands flew to his hips to push him away, but the Force snatched them and held them hard above your head. He continued to rock into your mouth until you started to gag.

He slowed a bit, letting you catch your breath. You sucked air in greedily through your nostrils, feeling your heart beat rapid and irregularly in your chest. One of his hands abandoned the grip on your hair to grasp your chin, his fingers dug hard into the flesh and bone. You whimpered around the thickness of his cock.

“Relax your throat – let me fuck your pretty mouth.” Hi voice was strained – you could tell.

Though you couldn’t look up at him, his voiced assured you he was more than satisfied with your performance. The thought bloomed more heat between your thighs and encouraged you to relax and take him into your throat. Again, he picked up his pace and you felt the head of his slick cock fit into the back of your throat and slide further down. A shuddered, broken moan fell from his lips and he tunneled his way deeper and deeper into you. His hand slid down your chin and his fingers laced their way around your neck, squeezing gently.

You hummed, vocal cords vibrating perfectly around his length and his other hand abandoned the grip on your head. You stilled as much as possible to provide resistance for his rapid thrusts.

“Look up at me.” He demanded.

You blinked tears from your eyes, tilting your head down so that they might fall and clear your vision.

“I said _look at me!_ ” He ordered again, his other hand grabbing your chin and forcing it up.

The new angle provided more room and his cock slid into your throat to the hilt. Your nose smashed tightly against the fine hair at the base of his length and your teary eyes focused on his blurry face. You could feel his balls twitch against your bottom lip, and you attempted to swallow around the head of his cock nearing your esophagus. He groaned, eyes devouring you whole. His hand reeled back, preparing, but you could only see movement in your blurred peripherals. Then, all at once, his hand collided with your cheek as he smacked you. It was acute, the sting spread quickly, and your lips flinched around the base of his shaft.

His eyes were dark as he watched you blink away the tears in your vision. He smacked you again, a little harder this time. The kiss of his fingertips landing harshly on your tingling cheek. You flinched once more, the instinct to fight overpowering the wetness between your legs, which told you how much you loved this. Your upper lip curled back, bearing the threat of your teeth so precariously resting against his flesh. He quirked a brow at you.

"There's that fire." He hummed, grip tightening on your neck.

He withdrew so quickly you choked. One moment his cock was twitching against the warm walls of your throat, the next you felt empty and cold. Your head hung limp from your shoulders as you coughed saliva onto the steel floor, you watched it pool into a little puddle beneath you. His hand was on the back of your neck then, wrenching you up to your feet. His other hand came around to grasp your chin tightly next to his face.

"Do you know how well you’re going to take this cock for me tonight, little one?" His eyes bore into yours, his voice melted your insides and you dripped sweetly down your thighs.

"Do you know how many times you're going to cum for me tonight?" His breath caressed your face, eyes locked with yours.

"I'm going to break you." He said for the second time.

His lips caught yours in a heated kiss, pillowy flesh bruising under the severity of his own. His tongue swept over your bottom lip, almost as if he were asking permission but his tongue trespassed quickly before you could invite it in. He sought out your own, dancing and rolling and massaging the velvety softness of your tongue in your own mouth. He was sweet and spicy again, something vaguely alcoholic about his saliva though you knew he hadn't been drinking. That was just him, simply and mouthwateringly intoxicating.

Your tongue gave up the fight for dominance and you were rewarded with soft thumbs brushing hair away from your tear stained cheeks. His hands held your face gently for a few moments more, a stark contrast to the intensity of his kiss. Then, the warmth of his hands left you to tend to his restricting layers. He discarded the undershirt recklessly, his lips only parting yours for the briefest moment in doing so.

Your hands felt heavy at your sides, but you raised them to help him discard his pants. Commander Ren was stripping nude and kissing you dizzy while you were still entirely clothed before him. You thought it was funny for a moment before coming back to reality and the realization that he'd snatched your hands before they could aid him. You struggled in vain to free your hands from his grasp and whimpered into his mouth.

He drew back, eyes like amber fires in his sallow skull.

"Strip." He commanded in that honeyed bravado.

Your hands flew from his grasp to the hem of your shirt, hell bent on destroying the obstacle with reckless abandon, but his hands stopped you again.

"Stop. _Slowly_." He cooed, stroking his thumbs along your trembling palms.

He took a few steps back and sat back against the bed, long legs stretched at full length over the side. He was impossibly tall, as the balls of his feet still sat gently on the floor below. You took a deep breath through your nose, an attempt to seem unstudied and unphased. If only you knew how flushed and haphazard you looked. Your attempt to seem casual fizzled out as he stared at your blushing flesh and the distinct handprint on your left cheek.

You gathered your wits for a few moments more while he stared at you and you stared back. Though you were painfully aware of your throbbing sex begging for attention, you stood still and swallowed deep breaths down into your lungs.

"Strip." He demanded again.

You started slow. Turning to the side and bending over to showcase the dip in your back and the curvature of your backside while you unlaced your boots. You kept your eyes locked on his, even as you kicked the boots across the room. Then, you hooked your thumbs into the waistband of your pants and tugged, peeling them off your slim legs. When you stood straight to step out of the fabric. You watched his eyes trail down your figure before landing on the expansive exposed skin of your thighs.

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip before he dragged his eyes back to meet your own. You smirked knowingly, teasing him. The smallest twitch of his lip indicated he understood. You laid your palms flat against the warmth of your thighs, sliding them up to meet the hem of your shirt. You pulled the material over your head, blocking you view for the briefest moment. When your field of vision cleared, your eyes landed on him like gravity.

Gaze glued to his hand now stroking his own cock, your jaw dropped, and your eyelids hooded. Your breath caught in your throat as he gripped the base and slid his grip up the length of his flesh tantalizingly slow. Teasing you right back. Your mouth began to water as your feet fell toward him, mindlessly falling into orbit. Your cunt clenched at nothing, arousal quite literally seeping down your thigh.

Without slowing down his strokes, he held up his other hand flat, indicating for you to halt.

"Strip." He said again, gesturing to your undergarments.

You watched him stroke himself. Drool threatened to spill from your slack jaw, and you had to make the conscious effort to close your gaping mouth. He wasn't shy at all, languidly pleasing himself with his eyes locked on you. His breathing was even, his shoulders were relaxed, the only physical indication that he was even aroused was the consistent growth of the length in his grasp.

"Little one," he called, your attention snapping to his face as you turned beet red.

He cocked his brow and smirked at your sheepishness.

"I said 'strip.' Don't make me tell you again." He spoke slowly, clearly, educating each word more than he needed to. Like he was speaking to a child.

He was thrilled to watch the fire return to your eyes. He had placed a trap which you walked straight into without a thought. You grit your teeth and reached behind you to unclasp your bra, letting the fabric fall to the floor. His eyes darted immediately to the hills of your chest, cock twitching in his palm as his gaze roamed over the ruddy pink and calm ivory of your breasts. The air in his room was chilly and your nipples stiffened to rosy peaks, they called his name. Begged him to claim them. His cock twitched again, eager to give you anything and everything you wanted.

You struggled to hide the smile on your lips at his reaction to the unveiling of your body. This wasn't the first time he'd seen it, and it would certainly not be the last, but he looked at you with... _so much_. You weren't sure. But it made you feel like a god and you let your shyness fade away as you let the dainty fabric of your undergarments slide down your hips and fall limp around your ankles. He swallowed, eyes falling too, and he drank in the sight.

He cleared his throat. "Come here."

His voice was gruff and thick. His brow furrowed and gaze stuck to the swish of your hips as you sauntered your way to his perch on the bed. That bed, the one he had bought for the two of you. You planned to show him your full appreciation for the gift tonight. He fully intended to have you moaning on every square inch of that bed in approximately 18 seconds. His hand grasped your hip, other hand still stroking the length of his cock. You glanced up into his eyes from underneath your heavy lashes, a silent plea to touch him.

He nodded.

Your dainty hand reached out to the monstrous length of his cock, feeble fingertips replacing his grip as you squeezed lightly. A small hitch in his breath was detected and you smirked, and then you were on your back against the bed before you could blink. He growled as his fingers pried your thighs apart and he settled his weight between your legs. A small, submissive part of you clawed its way to the surface and you mewled underneath him. Like a cat.

"Oh," He groaned, eyes catching yours.

"Little kitten likes that."

You couldn't help but mewl and whimper underneath him. His bare chest was flush with your aching slit, you were sure you were slicking his abdomen with your arousal; just one glance down between your legs and he understood, rolling his abdomen down close to yours. The pressure immediately coaxing another wave of sniveling whimpers from your mouth. Your eyes nearly rolled back into your skull at the white pleasure it brought.

He watched you grow closer and closer to coming undone beneath him. And without even lifting a finger. He marveled at you.

"Mm, little slut. I bet I can make you cum just. Like. This."

Every word he spat came with a decisive roll of his hips. His abdomen rocked into your clit like punctuation at the end of his sentence. You blabbered nonsense, drool spilling from the corner of your lips.

"Right? Just. Like. This?" He rolled his hips four more times.

Your jaw unhinged, both slack and tense in an open-mouthed "o" while your thighs clamped either side of his waist. You were close, if you could bring yourself to speak, you would have told him to fuck off - though you weren't even capable of thought in the moment. Kylo watched you tremble and summoned the Force to press insistent circles against your throbbing nub to finish you off.

The phantom touch was all you needed to fall over the edge. You moaned his name like an incantation, repeated it over and over in the come down from your glorious high. White waves rolled through your stomach, the coil coming undone slowly while your walls continued to clench around the emptiness in your cunt. With your eyes squeezed tightly shut, you pushed your arousal out to slick his pelvis and he watched it drip closer toward his angry, red length which jumped - begging to be lodged inside your heat.

The Force tended to you a while longer, becoming softer in the wake of your orgasm, while Kylo took steady breaths to stave off his urge to break you all at once. No, he would need to exercise patience and control tonight to break you properly. Thoroughly. He wanted to break you beyond repair, so that he'd be the only man able to fix you.

Soon you were needy again, your walls clenching around that lonely nothingness. Between heavy breaths, you opened your eyes and hesitantly watched him watching you. He gave you those few moments to catch your breath and then slid down the bed to kneel on his knees at the side of it. He grabbed your hips and tugged you to perch on the edge as he lowered his face to your weeping cunt. Just as his breath washed over the still-sensitive skin of your inner thighs you shook your head frantically back and forth. Even the thought of climaxing again so soon without his cock inside you made you itchy with want and need. Kylo noticed your head whip side to side and his head poked up from between your legs.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

"No, not yet. Give me a minute." You panted, still not quite caught up with your breath.

He scoffed, all trace of concern long gone. "I wasn't asking."

His flippancy sent a rush of heat flooding your core once more. His head dipped between your thighs again, hot tongue extended and lapping at your sensitive pussy lips. You groaned, fingers threading into his hair. He hummed into your core, sending vibrations through your oversensitive flesh. You gasped when his lips wrapped around your buzzing nub, feeling the coil spring tight once more.

"You know your safe word." He mumbled into your folds.

Your lips formed a tight line to suppress the growls that threatened to spill from them. His tongue made thin, decisive flicks against your clit followed by one or two wide licks. His tongue spread flat and warm, he torturously dragged it through your dripping folds, spreading your lips apart and his tongue formed a spear to plow into you. You squeaked again, trying to breathe throw the euphoria that consumed you. Vaguely, almost as if he were a thousand miles away, you heard him mumble into your core.

"Look at me, little kitten."

Impossible. You'd burst again just from the sight of his lips between your legs. You shook your head from side to side, eyelids heavy and shut. He grumbled, the heat of his touch disappearing from your buzzing sex. Cold air laid thick over the heat for a few moments before - SMACK! His flat fingertips slapped your clit sharply, causing you to cry out. You yelped, supporting your weight on your elbows to throw a nasty glare at him. With one brow raised, he smirked up at you, hand still hovering over your buzzing clit.

“ _Ow._ ” You said dramatically.

His brow furrowed in mocking.

“Oh, did that hurt? Poor baby.” His bottom lip pouted, a stark contrast to his insincere eyes.

Were he not between yours legs, you may have pressed the issue further. He could tell so, too. His eyes darkened, satisfied (perhaps even overjoyed) with your obedience. His hand had been ready to strike again, the promise of punishment still fresh in his blood and mind. But your submission made him soft; it made him want to ravish you with no intent for you to return his investment. He shook his head like fog was stuck in his brain, his hair tickling either side of your sensitive thighs.

Your head lulled against your shoulders, thighs clamped shut around his head. The fog dispersed quickly. His hands pried your legs apart, thumb resting heavy against your clit. You bucked, core tight and aching for him. You whimpered against his touch as he pinned your knees against the bed, splaying you wide. His eyes bore holes into your skin. His gaze fixed to the perfect pink of your cunt, admiring the slick glistening of your cum against the ruddy flesh.

“You’re delicious.” He said, out of nowhere.

You raised your head to look down at him, suddenly feeling shy from the intensity of his penetrating gaze. Gods, if only he were penetrating…

“Hmm.” He chuckled. “Soon, little one.”

His head dipped again to rest between your legs, you could feel his hot breath immediately, landing heavily against the sensitive skin. He hesitated for a moment, not quite touching you but staying close enough by for you to feel the weight of his presence.

“Look at me.” He said quietly, not quite a demand.

You did as he asked, swallowing the bit of fear which threatened to find its way into your heart. Your eyes met and he looked pleased.

“Good girl.” He murmured, lips inching closer to your sex.

He had promised to break you but gave you the time to recover from your first orgasm before throwing you into another. The generosity was not lost on you as his tongue drew a slow circle against your clit. You moaned loudly, allowing the coil to spring tightly in your core again. He rewarded the wanton approval of his ministrations with a broad stripe against your folds. You mewled again; his little kitten, getting a tongue bath from –

“Fu-uck, daddy.” Spilled accidentally from your lips.

_Oh shit. Oh no. Oh fuck. Maybe he didn’t hear it?_

Kylo’s tongue stopped dead in its tracks, his neck retracting to look at you.

_Fuck. He heard._

You were frozen, unable to move. You had physically clamped your hand over your traitorous mouth. Your eyes stared straight ahead at the ceiling, not brave enough to meet his gaze. He stood at the foot of the bed, you could feel his weight as he began to lean over you and you squeezed your eyes shut quickly. You felt him lean over you and grasp either side of your face tightly between his hands.

“Say that again.” He said. You were unable to detect his tone of voice.

He must have been angry, you couldn’t fathom him _not_ being angry.

You shook your head.

“Little one,” He warned, thumbs caressing your cheeks. “ _Please_ say that again.”

Your head swam, he sounded so sweet as he pleaded with you it tempted your eyes open to look at him. He was leaned over you, brows knit tightly over his amber eyes. Those eyes were pleading, begging you to answer him. Surely he didn’t approve; how could he? That was terribly wrong and inappropriate and gross and –

“Daddy.” Damn your traitorous tongue.

Your eyes searched each other’s for the longest time. A strange mix of fear and anticipation built up inside you. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. You chewed on your lip, anxiety beginning to override the anticipation. The action drew his eyes to your lips and before you could register his movements, he was kissing you. He kissed you dizzy, you melted under his lips which moved softly and urgently against your own. Boldly, you drew in his soft bottom lip and bit gently, just rolling the flesh between your teeth. A growl made its way through him and into you.

“Daddy, huh?” He grinned against your lips.

Your lids snapped open, assessing him at this close range. You swallowed the fear.

“You want to be daddy’s little girl?” He asked sweetly, voice laced with sugar and honey and all things fluffy and sweet.

But something sinister lurked behind his eyes.

Matched by the same in yours.

“Yes, daddy.” You bit your lip again.

“Fuck.” His eyes fluttered shut and his forehead rested against yours.

“I was supposed to break you, little one.” You pulled back, confused eyes searching his.

“You’re breaking me.” He breathed.

He scolded himself for the way his voice cracked and wavered, lost in soft emotion and your eyes. To hear you utter that one small word had started a fire inside his chest, his cock twitched endlessly between his legs and his throat was tight. He strained to swallow, his eyes searching yours for something he needed. Your eyes were wide and dark in the low light, glittering with shame. His cock landed heavy on your thigh and your skin burned against him. He pressed his hips into the space between your legs, pleased with the way you tried to lock your ankles around him.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for your daddy?” He whispered softly into your ear, again pleased when you shuddered underneath him.

He hid the smirk that plastered itself to his face in the soft flesh of your neck while you struggled to control your breathing. When you failed to answer him, he rolled his hips into you again, his unsheathed cock sliding past the dripping folds between your legs. You bucked at the sensation, eyes wide and a small mewl escaped from your pursed lips. He smirked more openly this time, eyes narrowing down at you.

“Hmm? Or are you gonna be a bad girl?” He bent down to nip at your lower lip but was shocked when you met him hallway and bit back, nearly drawing blood.

You grinned at him, eyes narrowed.

“Are you gonna punish me, daddy?” You feigned a sensual pout.

His cock leaped at you, anxious to give you what you were begging for. His fingers carefully laced around your dainty neck, a quiet threat danced in his eyes. He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction. Tonight, he was going to break you – not merely punish you.

“You’ve been testing your limits today, little one.” He cooed close to your ear.

You nodded underneath him.

Then, without warning, Kylo slid himself into your heat to the hilt. As his balls smacked your skin, you cried out. He looked up to your face to find it scrunched in pain, nose wrinkled, and eyes squeezed shut. He marveled for a moment before picking up his pace. Setting it to ruthless from the very start. You gasped and writhed and struggled beneath him. Kylo had always been rough, but he had always given you time to work yourself up to accommodate his size. Apparently, you didn’t earn that luxury tonight.

“Oh, poor little thing.” He cooed, voice saturated with an overwhelming calm.

He rocked into you mercilessly, fighting off the blinding pleasure that came from how tight your walls squeezed him.

“Struggling to take daddy’s big cock.” He nearly growled the words out.

His words sent a rushing of wet heat to your cunt, slicking him to allow his length to seat deeper inside. You couldn’t help but yelp again, hips bucked and hands flying down to his abdomen. In vain, you pushed against him, wriggling away to the best of your ability. He snatched your wrists into one of his hands and thrusted them above your head, you huffed in aggravation or perhaps anger, not that either would have phased him.

“Ky-Kylo..” You opened her eyes to look at him.

He may have sounded ruthless, and his pace was certainly set hard, but the look on his face told you everything you needed to know. He was falling apart at his seams, face red and lips - kiss swollen, his eyes were busy drinking in the sight of your breasts bouncing feverishly underneath him, shaken by his pace. His other hand pushed off the bed to land heavily on your chest and trail up the smooth skin slowly. He wasn’t joking – you were breaking him too. Even in this moment where he was in complete control, you demanded this response from him. You grinned.

How much could you break him?

“Oh, _fuck daddy!_ ” You whined, suppressing a grin when you felt him cock twitch inside you in response.

“Fuck, your cock feels _sooooo_ good, _daddy!_ ” You chewed on your bottom lip, ignoring the way your cheeks burned red from your attempt at dirty talk.

Kylo dug his fingers into the soft flesh of your breast and lowered his mouth to suck greedily at your throat. With your pulse against his tongue, he allowed the strained groans to fall freely from his lips. With the last bit of strength he had, he summoned the Force to swirl furiously around your sensitive clit. The two of you unraveled quickly, both breaking under the touch of the other until Kylo’s eyes met yours, their round blackness begged you.

“Can I- do you mind if I finish-?” He stammered through heavy panting.

“ _Yes_! Cum inside me, daddy!” You cut him off – desperate to feel his cock pump you full while you chased your climax.

And that was all he needed to finally spill into you. He grunted once, followed by cascading, tumbling moans and unrestrained whimpers as he fucked you through the remnants of his orgasm and assured you met your own. The rapid spasms of his length inside you was enough to push you over the edge, but the profanities that spilled from his lips made it even more overwhelming. Seeing white, your body shook and shuddered underneath him while you found your release.

Minutes later, the pair of you collapsed against the bed and stuck together with sweat, you found yourself contented into a small nap. During the last moments of your consciousness, you were vaguely aware of Kylo’s soft snoring above you. He’d already fallen fast asleep, still-softening while buried deep in your heat. His cum leaked out onto the sheets while your consciousness leaked into the universe contentedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally posted the first part of this chapter on 9.15.2020; this is now completed. 
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think - I promise I plan on writing more after my wedding!


	19. Fondness

Kylo had left his quarters early the next morning to make arrangements for the day’s excursion. In the low light of his chilly bedroom, he watched you roll around the sheets and downy comforter for a time until he could work up the will to leave you. The will never came – but the understanding that he couldn’t justify staying any longer did. He had set an alarm for you and messaged his knight to escort you from his quarters to limit room for error. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered how he would arrange for you to stay with him long term. The realist in him shut down the thought before it could unfurl and poison his brain.

You woke a few minutes before the alarm, kneading your feet against the mattress and stretching your sleepy limbs. You were supposed to train with Kylo’s knight that morning and you were increasingly anxious about it. Something about the horde of masked men made your stomach do somersaults. But then, the thought of the masked monster Kylo Ren had once terrified you too. You wondered if this would end up similarly, with a growing familiarity and (dare you say) fondness between yourself and those you were instructed to fear.

Something inside you sensed the impending alarm before it began; like a building wave, you could feel it rising before picking your blood up inside your body and the eb and flow carried you back. The alarm crashing against the shore of your skin and you went catapulting from the serenity of the bed. The alarm informed you that ‘Cardo’ would be arriving to collect you within the half hour. You dressed quickly to allow yourself some additional time to mentally prepare.

It appeared Kylo had taken the liberty of setting out some of the training clothes you packed and had set them on one of the bedside tables. Next to the neatly folded stack of black spandex rested the ridiculous nightgown you’d packed (just in case) and a note that read: “I like this. I want to see it on later.” You rolled your eyes despite the silly grin that you found creeping onto your face. You tossed the silky scrap of fabric onto the bed and dressed in your training wear. After lacing your boots, you raided Kylo’s restroom in search of his comb.

As the minutes ticked by, you found yourself waiting anxiously beside the door, waiting for the moment Kylo’s knight would arrive. You had hoped you would sense him coming, even more startled when you hadn’t, and the door whizzed open in front of you. The narrow slit in his filthy helmet fixed solely on you. You jumped back a bit and bit back a small yelp of surprise. You could sense smugness rolling off of him. His head cocked to once side, not unlike his master.

“Let’s go, officer; while the hall is clear.” His helmet wasn’t as modified as Kylo’s, the voice not entirely metal, but more yielding.

You hesitantly stepped forward, secretly pleased when he allowed you to pass him to enter the hall. You turned back to lock Kylo’s quarters, feeling a flood of approval radiate from Cardo’s presence. You looked to him through questioning eyes, taking in the similarities and difference between his appearance and the Commander’s. His pants were significantly less fitted and his tunic much shorter – armor minimal around his midsection. He wasn’t donning the jacket and harness you’d seen him in last.

As the two of you walked towards the training rooms, you could feel the tension rise and fall between your silence. You felt your brow knit together heavily over your eyes, wondering why the air felt that way between you both.

“You’re resisting the influence.” Cardo spoke suddenly.

You looked to him, lips parting in confusion as a breath loosed from your lungs.

“What?” You swallowed hard, stepping onto the elevator before him.

He was quiet for a few moments, not speaking again until the elevator doors reopened.

“I can alter feelings. It’s one of my specialties.” He explained somewhere between simply and genuinely. “You’re detecting it and changing your course.”

You absorbed what he’d said. A flash of anger rising in your chest before being dulled temporarily. Only to be replaced by a pang of understanding – investigating your feelings closely for a moment to attempt to detect which he was influencing. The two of you had reached the large training room halls, you excitedly rushed inside to watch the fresh snow fall outside the windows. Excitement slowly dulled to contented. You sighed.

“Is there a problem with however I want to feel?” You asked, turning on him and finding it difficult to be angry.

“I don’t see why you would want to censor my excitement for the snow.” You muttered sourly.

“It’s part of your training.” He answered simply.

“Making me less enthused is part of my training?” You chuckled dryly.

His head tilted again. A nod, you gathered.

“I see. That explains it.” You clipped your words, keeping your sentence short and vague.

You could feel a blunt probing at your temples; it felt like Kylo trying to Force his way into your head but less insistent – not as strong. You realized quickly that it must have been Cardo; he was trying to worm his way in as well. You shoved him away firmly, cocky when you felt the Force snap away from you and watch it hit him like a rebounded elastic band. You smirked.

“Don’t try to get in my head.” You warned, all traces of humor vanished.

“What does it explain?” He asked curiously.

You considered him for a moment, he seemed to be unphased and genuinely curious of your vague commentary.

“I was thinking ‘that explains why you’re all so stiff.’ You’re _trained_ not to have a sense of humor.” You smirked.

He huffed. A laugh. That pleased you – made your insides a little warmer. Your smirk softened to something more akin to a smile.

“Not far off.” He responded.

His hands lifted to his helmet and your ears perked for the familiar sound of locks hissing, but the archaic plate just raised above his eyes and the helmet slid over his messy brown locks. His hair was kept short, choppy, textured, and matted to his head; his eyebrows were heavy and shaped in lovely, swooping arches. His eyes were the clearest blue/green and slanted like a serpent. He was undeniably handsome – but in a boyish way. His thin-lipped grin told you that your thoughts were loud.

You frowned.

“Sorry.” You muttered, dropping your eyeline to the floor.

He laughed.

“It’s fine. We all know you’re Kylo’s girl.” He shook his head, smiling with both rows of shiny, sharp teeth.

Wait. What did he say?

“What?” Your cheeks burned red and your heart thumped quickly and irregularly in your chest.

“Don’t worry. We keep all our master’s secrets.” He spoke so genuinely, you would believe anything he said.

You wondered if that were his influence but couldn’t bring yourself to feel differently about it. A small part of you, your lizard brain, wanted to rebel – it told you to feel differently; but as you watched the handsome knight survey the wall of weapons, you found that you couldn’t find the anger in you. If you couldn’t be angry, you would at the very least be curious.

“So, why are you altering my feelings?” You asked, treading water carefully as you watched him from a safe distance.

You noticed how strong his gate was, something reminiscent to his master but not quite powerful enough, and you tried very hard to put up walls in your mind to keep him out. You would obey Kylo and the Supreme Leader, you would allow Cardo to train with you, but that gave no one the permission to fuck around with your thoughts. He seemed to think to himself for a moment, eyes losing focus on the various blades and spears in front of him and shifting back to you with heavy knit brows.

“That’s why.” He pointed to your head, closing the distance between you slowly. Slow enough for you to move away.

“You’re resisting. I want to see how far I need to go to break down your walls.” He explained.

Fury. It broke over the calm like water burst from a dam. All at once you struck like a viper, barely missing his jaw as he ducked back.

“You are strong.” He said.

Something strangely genuine seeped out of his words, not quite a compliment or praise – but assuring. Almost as if his only motivations for speaking the words were for you to absorb them, believe them, and benefit from them; and calm washed over you again. You didn’t fight it this time, something told you he would teach you and you might also teach him. Something similar to friendship and comradery laid unspoken in the training room that morning.

Kylo’s boots met the halls heavily and with purpose that afternoon. The hologram receiver in his pocket weighed heavier than ever before, as if Snoke’s presence lie within, only waiting to burst forth in all his malevolent glory. This arranged meeting between his girl and his Supreme Leader was putting more than one wrinkle in his brow. What was that? His _girl_? His inner monologue vexed him, taunted him with foolish feelings and petulant pet-names. His _girl_ … ridiculous. His pilot. His mentee. His knight, his pet, his dalliance, his distraction, his companion, his lover, his girl.

He bit his lip until blood was drawn, sharp and hot on his tongue. How did he always end up back here? How was it that no matter how hard he tried to drown his feelings, his call to the light; no matter how many times he buried his past, she dug it back up and laid a life at his feet? Why was it that her voice pulled him back from a raging sea? Why was it that he’d gone through considerable lengths to spare her life from the insistency of his master’s demands?

Snoke had ordered her death immediately, once Kylo had reported her. The Supreme Leader had no interest in teaching another Force user, had no need for another apprentice, but Kylo had insisted that she could be valuable. Either as an addition to his knights or her Force sensitivity could prove valuable in combat. With Luke Skywalker still hidden in the universe and this added threat of some new Jedi joining the Resistance, Kylo had argued that this knowledge of her ability couldn’t have come at a more opportune time.

It was difficult to assure the Supreme Leader that Kylo had no personal interest in the matter, but somehow he seemed to have done it. Snoke agreed to allow Kylo to assign a knight to train her and, with their approval, she might join them. Yes, that sounded right. Kylo thought she fit well there, among his brothers; no one would question them spending time together or accompanying him on missions or even on holidays. She would belong by his side, as did his knights.

Contented with his consciousness this time, he grinned under the safety of his helmet as he made his way to the training room where you and Cardo had spent your morning. He had expected some bickering, some disagreements to be sure, but he had not expected to walk in on what he had. Rounding the hall corner, he could immediately hear uproarious laughter. His silly grin fell from his lips, brow knit tightly together. He strode into the training room with clenched fists, recognizing more than one of his knight’s Force signatures.

Vicrul and Ushar had joined the training session, it seemed. He’d only asked Vicrul to spare his poor brother and his mentee some lunch, but apparently he’d brought Ushar along and saw it fit to stay. All three knights sat spread out on the floor, all limbs and discarded helmets and armor; and in the center of their haphazard circle, was you. You sat, cross-legged, and levitating just slightly over the floor. Your smile was bright and lovely laughter spilled over your rosy lips, all eyes in the room were on you. Kylo almost had a moment to be jealous before he finally realized just how much you were floating.

_Impressive._

You heard him clear as day, even over the laughter. Your focus on the levitating faltered and you landed a little harshly on your bottom. This only caused another bout of laughter to roll through your audience. Kylo stepped into the room then, catching the attention of his knights who surprisingly couldn’t stop laughing – even in observance of their master’s arrival. Stunned, Kylo cleared his throat and stepped further into the room, nearing the circle.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

Cardo struggled to sit up straight through his fit of childish giggles. “Tell him the joke!” He snickered in your direction.

You stood, grinning from ear to ear and Kylo regarded you.

“What do you call a Bantha in a Tie Fighter?” You grinned.

The collection of knights snickered in anticipation as they watched for Kylo’s reaction.

Kylo sighed.

“What?”

“Stuck.” You answered confidently, cackling at your own, foolish joke.

The knights cackled along with you, Vicrul wiping tears from his eyes. Kylo raised a brow, surveying the hysteria of laughter at his feet. Her joke, while she may always be charming, was _not_ funny; and yet, his knights were guffawing and chuckling like younglings. Cardo staggered upright, sensing Kylo’s confusion through this influence, and managed to suffocate the laughter long enough to choke out the words.

“It’s not funny, we know!” He sighed deeply, taking in a fresh breath.

“I taught her how to influence emotions, and she’s _not been playing fair!_ ” The end of his sentence was laced with another fit of chortles.

Kylo shook his head, grin splitting his face underneath the mask. He strode further into the circle, passing Vicrul and Ushar, discarding his helmet in the process. As his black locks tumbled loose around his face, he noticed your concentration break once more, your eyes trailing up his figure as you bit your lip. He smirked, looking back to Ushar as the knights were finally able to regain some control.

“Ushar, you taught her to levitate, I take it?” Kylo asked, impressed that you were able to learn not one but _two_ difficult tricks today.

Ushar stood, suddenly reserved and stoic as he’d always been.

“Yes, master.”

Kylo had made his way to you, careful to angle his body so that only you might be able to see the warm smile that could only have been meant for you. He quirked a brow down at you, his mischievous girl. He could feel the pride rolling off of you; you had half of the Knights of Ren laughing at your feet moments before, and what was even better: you faced no repercussions from their master. You knew it, Kylo knew it, and the knights shuffling awkwardly out of the room knew it too.

Kylo called out to the three before they could make their escape, holding Cardo back while he ordered Vicrul and Ushar to escort you back, discreetly, to his quarters.

“Go get washed up for our meeting with the Supreme Leader.” He told you quietly, his voice soft.

Your heart jumped at his words, but his honeyed amber eyes brought you calm. The two of you parted as you joined the two knights in the hall. Once gone, Kylo turned to Cardo.

“How did she do today?” Kylo asked genuinely.

Cardo nodded slowly, a small smile stuck to his face.

“She’s something.” Cardo smirked.

“That she is.” Kylo agreed.

Cardo couldn’t help but notice the fondness of his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cardo will always have my heart! I'm so glad I chose Cardo when I started writing this MONTHS ago; I've seen so many fan fics focus on Vicrul, so I'm happy this stands out a bit :)


	20. The Void

Vicrul and Ushar had escorted you back to Kylo’s quarters. Vicrul talked the whole way, you noticed he must have been the most charismatic of the group. You had gathered, in your brief time with the three knights over the course of your training today, that Cardo and Vicrul were brothers. Vicrul a bit broader and more boisterous than his younger brother. And Ushar, though you only heard him speak once or twice while under your influence, you rather enjoyed his quiet instruction.

The two left you safely inside Kylo’s quarter’s and once inside you took to a shower to wash off the sweat from training. You had been calm for most of the time, only panicking again when Cardo’s influence finally faded away from your mind. The impending meeting with the Supreme Leader weighed heavily on you; it felt like hours of torture that went by far too quickly, at the same time. Finally, during your fourth attempt to braid your hair, Kylo finally walked through the hatch.

“Gods, _finally_!” You breathed, pushing your hands away from your hair.

He raised a brow.

“Excited to see me?”

“Actually, no. I was hoping to never see you again.” You smirked.

He scoffed, brows drew together in fake anguish.

“Ouch.”

“Well, you’re dragging me to meet certain death. So.” You said somewhat bitterly, out of fear.

Your hands busied themselves in your hair once more.

“What are you doing to your poor head?” He chuckled, unphased by your attitude.

You sighed, resigning your hands to your lap once more.

“I’m trying to braid it…” The defeat was foreign on your tongue.

Kylo didn’t like hearing it.

“Let me.” He offered quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed, close to you.

You lifted a brow to him, doubt evident and showing.

“What?” He smiled, turning your back to him, and carding his fingertips through your hair to loosen the tangles you’d set in place.

“I used to braid my mother’s hair for her.” He said softly.

You froze. This moment suddenly felt too intimate, the man behind you suddenly more human than god. Your blood ran cold, terrified for some odd reason. Kylo had never spoken about his family, hadn’t even alluded that he’d ever been a part of one. To be honest, you hadn’t even considered it. To even think of him in that sort of setting was foreign and unimaginable. And now he was behind you, gentle fingers sliding across your scalp to braid it into a neat plait. You were holding your breath.

The two of you sat in silence for a time while nimble fingers created a neat braid which fell gently down the center of your back. After a short time, he spoke.

“Cardo said you trained well today.” His voice was soft and quiet.

You picked at a loose cuticle on your thumb and smiled.

“I know I did.” You hummed, drunk on the praise.

Then, more quietly, you added: “I like the knights.”

Kylo smiled, finishing the braid, and tossing it over your right shoulder.

“You’ve only met half of them.” He laughed.

You rose to your knees and turned to face him.

“Who are the other three?” You asked, curious.

Kylo stole a glance at his data pad before answering.

“Let’s discuss it on the way, we’ll be late.”

Kylo was true to his word, he described the remaining knights during your walk to the conference rooms in Sector C. There were three knights who you hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet: Ap’lek, Trudgen, and Kuruk. According to Kylo, you would likely get along well with Ap’lek, who was usually the only one to get along with outsiders, being friendly and sociable by nature. Trudgen was fairly similar to Ushar, both quiet and indifferent for the most part; but he’d warned you of Kuruk.

“Kuruk is… different.” Kylo mulled the words around before landing on something as nondescript and vague as “different.”

You scrunched your brow together.

“Hm.” You hummed, unsatisfied, urging him to continue.

“He thinks he’s second in command. Your… arrival will likely feel like competition to him. Don’t be offended if the two of you don’t get along.”

You frowned at that.

Honestly, Kylo was surprised that Cardo, Vicrul and Ushar had taken to you so quickly. Cardo was typically quite reserved and cynical, as was Ushar; and though Vicrul was outgoing and undoubtedly Kylo expected him to be attracted to you, he hadn’t expected Vic to see you as an equal. Kuruk would certainly have something to say about it, at least he could count on that.

Kylo sensed you closing off beside him, shields going up as you neared the conference rooms. While he couldn’t reach out and physically hold your hand, he reached out with the Force in an attempt to calm you. He felt your anxiety and leaned into it, making it his own. Then he inhaled deeply, allowing the fear to dissipate in his lungs. You scoffed next to him.

“You’re not as good at doing that.” She chided, small smile stuck to her lips..

He grinned in the safety of his helmet as they rounded the corner into the conference room. Your eyes fell on the large oval table, searching for the hologram device that would soon seal your fate. It wasn’t in sight. Kylo pulled a seat out from the table and gestured for you to sit. The two of you were all professionalism and composure in the privacy of the corporate room, strangely misplaced as the two of you were still alone.

Kylo pulled the device from his pocket, and you watched as he placed the heavy puck in the center of the table and pressed a small button. Dial tones soon filled the room as he took his place at a safe distance from you. You took a steadying breath as light molecules shifted and rearranged to form a shape.

“Ah, the girl.” A staticky voice creeped out of the puck.

You froze with ice in your veins. The Supreme Leader’s eyes landed heavily on you, piercing you through the miles of space and time. You feared he could see all the way through you, through all your dreams, desires, faults and very few virtues. You gulped.

“She’s just returned from training, Supreme Leader.” Kylo spoke for you, sensing your fear.

You felt paralyzed, knowing you would soon be forced to speak to him, yourself.

“And? Did your knight report to you?” His head turned to his young apprentice.

Kylo nodded. “She possessed all their skills. Emotional manipulation, levitation, object manipulation, projection, and thought detection.” You glanced at him, hearing admiration in his voice and fearing the Supreme Leader cold hear it too.

Kylo cleared his throat.

Snoke’s eyes were back on you.

“Really?” He asked, grit and venom leaking from his voice.

You nodded as Kylo answered. “Yes.”

Snoke’s brow furrowed.

“So it’s more than sensitivity.” Snoke mused, as if taking a mental note.

His beady eyes landed back on you.

“How long have you known, child?”

You choked, your airway constricted, and you suffocated inside your own skin. You could sense Kylo urging you to be calm, finding some solace in remembering that he couldn’t do that so well. You sensed someone who could, however. Cardo must have been close by, or close enough to sense your fear. You felt the calm of his influence and suddenly you were able to speak.

“The Commander knew before I did, Supreme Leader.” You were surprised by the levelness of your own voice.

Snoke peered at you, narrowed his eyes as he looked for signs of dishonesty. With Cardo’s influence backing you, the fear dissolved into nothing.

“I never believed in the Force.” You explained. “I wasn’t raised to.”

Snoke smirked, the smile making him seem oddly grandfatherly. _Gross._

“Well, do you now?” He asked, his voice sounding warmer.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

He appeared pleased, looking back to Kylo to exchange some knowing, wordless glance.

“Take her to the Temple.” He instructed. “Keep me updated on her training.”

Kylo nodded to his master.

You bowed your head in response, showing him your cooperation.

“We’ll make a Sith out of her, a weapon.” His words resonated as the call ended, no goodbyes spoken, only the promise of what you would become.

Kylo and Cardo both waited to feel your response. Both men waited to feel a tidal wave of fear, confusion, perhaps even rage; but what came had stunned them both. Acceptance. Belonging. Purpose. Excitement. Kylo watched as he expected Cardo’s influence to fade from you, thinking it might have been his emotions that Kylo could sense rolling off of you, only to realize that Cardo had accidentally been influencing Kylo the entire time. You weren’t in need of assistance. You weren’t afraid. You found wholeness.

The pair of you were silent during the ride to the Temple of the Sith. Kylo hadn’t said a word after the conclusion of your meeting with Snoke. Cardo had accompanied you to the speeders, having been close in the nearby hall when you had decided to leave the conference room.

 _Didn’t need me after all._ Cardo projected to his master.

Kylo’s brain was fuzzy, trying to understand everything that just happened.

He picked up pieces from your all-too-shielded brain waves.

_Strong. Temple. Kylo. Sith._

Words swam around your thoughts which Kylo couldn’t piece together to make much sense.

 _She’s okay, master._ Cardo tried again.

Kylo nodded once in his direction as the two knights lead you to the hangar bay. Before you knew it, the pair of you were swinging your legs over a shared speeder and abandoning Cardo in the empty hangar bay. Your eyes were wide on the sunset and snow; were things not so strangely tense between Kylo and yourself, you might have asked him to stop so you could touch the snow, but you were oddly contented to look and feel the chilly wind on your cheeks.

Kylo navigated in silence through some green fir trees, stirring up snow in his wake. You hadn’t noticed your speed until the two of you slowed considerably, nearing a rocky mountain side. The two of you came to a stop at the mouth of a cave, you could feel the warm energy coming from within. Finally, you felt the need to speak; starting to worry Kylo was something less than contented, but perhaps upset.

“This is the Temple of the Sith?” You asked, testing the water.

He nodded somberly, eyes on the rocky cave.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked, incredulous; feet planting in the dirt.

He turned back to you with wide eyes.

“What?” His brow reflected confusion, but you weren’t so quick to dismiss it.

“Are you?” You swallowed, holding your ground.

“No, why would you think that?” He asked, making his way towards you.

You held up a hand, motioning him to stay at a distance.

“You seem upset.” You stated simply, shoulders shrugging.

He tried to take another step toward you, falling short when you held up your palm to him again.

“I’m not upset.” He assured you with sincere eyes.

“I’m a little confused. Maybe even a little concerned, but not upset with you.” He explained, reaching out a hand to you.

You raised a brow, indication he should continue.

He sighed.

“You’re okay with this, then?” Kylo asked, expecting a façade to break and you would let him see how you were _really_ handling this. No such luck.

“I trust it.” You said simply.

“Should I not?” You watched his reaction closely.

Why wasn’t he willing to accept that you were fine?

“That’s not it.” He tried to explain. “I guess I just expected you to be more… I don’t know, concerned?”

You thought about it for a moment. You hadn’t really given yourself any time to process, you just accepted it. That’s the way your dad had raised you – to accept authority, to search for it, to abide. You were raised to be the perfect soldier; and Snoke made you feel like a solider. Really, his words were “weapon.” You hadn’t stopped to think of it. Your brow furrowed, questioning your sudden and sure subservience. Was this you?

Kylo stayed at a distance, watching you mull through your thoughts.

The soldier prevailed.

“Let’s go inside.” You walked past him.

Kylo had to fight the urge to reach out for you when you passed, struggled with the need to feel your skin. There was something confusing and concerning about the amount of power and authority you were exuding since leaving your meeting with Snoke, but could Kylo deny how it made him feel? There was something strong and sure about you now, something so damn _sexy_ about it. You accepted this life, he could feel your hunger for it.

He’d been sensing you piece it together, he felt the realization when you connected the dots of Cardo’s mistake in influencing the wrong person. You felt stronger, felt no need to be controlled. You could control yourself. You didn’t feel like the same person – you were something desired, something strong and useful, you felt like you belonged. And you loved it. And Kylo loved it. He didn’t know it yet, but watching you find yourself over the past few days had been exactly what he’d been looking for.

Kylo followed you into the cave.

The Temple of the Sith welcomed the two of you with pulsating energy peaks, warm tides pulling you towards the deepest part of the cave. Black rock created intricate patterns on the inside of the temple, swirling pathways which drew you into the center of the temple where a large pool sat in complete, undisturbed calm. The water looked like liquid night, endless and menacing but filled with promises. The liquid called to you, pulling you towards it.

“Why are we here, Kylo?” Your voice was different, hollow, and yet _full._

You heard it too. Remaining quiet while Kylo waited for you to speak again.

You turned to him expectantly.

“Why are we here?” You asked again.

He heard it. The voices of all the Sith in yours.

He was entranced, feet falling towards you without his knowledge. You could feel it too, being pulled to each other like magnets. Kylo’s hand reach out to wrap around your wrist, the warm leather preventing his skin from coming in contact with yours. And suddenly you were too far away, the pair of you too separated by distance and clothing and limbs. In a frenzied rush, his gloves were the first things to go; his lips collided hard against yours, bruising the soft flesh.

Your teeth settled the score, sinking harshly into his tongue and lapping up the blood which spilled between your mouths. His fingertips found the skin on the nape of your neck, fire bled from the spot into your veins. His teeth sank into your lip and salt filled your mouths again. The two of you undressed each other in a blind rage, your kiss a connection of souls. At some point you had stepped into that water, finding it both warm and inviting, but also cooled the fire between you where your skin met. Kylo was shirtless, in the process of abandoning his pants when your lips parted as you stumbled back into the water. He smiled drunkenly at you, all dimples and teeth, and trudged into the black deep.

You were only aware that you were naked when he slid into you, his cock slippery and harder than ever before, you didn’t even know how it ached to be inside you. You throbbed around him like a prayer, clenching and unclenching so fast it wasn’t human. He gasped against your lips and you drank it in. The two of you were drunk on the sensations, drowning in each other, slowly blacking out as you succumbed to the pleasure in the dark. The only thing that tethered you to reality was the way his cock pounded into you, you couldn’t even feel the steel cables of his arms locking your chest flush to his.

He couldn’t feel your nails digging trenches into his back or the way yours thighs squeezed his hips tightly. He was only earth-bound by the wet heat of your cunt and the way it impossibly swallowed him whole over and over again. A small part of him marveled that he was still able to thrust into you, not able to feel any exhaustion in sight – just this blind need to completely lose himself inside you. The two of you quickly raced your way to your respective climaxes, with some divine knowledge that it would become the catalyst of something… entirely different.

Finally, release came (as did the pair of you) and your consciousnesses melted into the void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter has been wrestled with. Originally, it was two chapters, but it still felt like I couldn't chop it into two pieces without either one feeling unfinished.. so I put them together and tried to enforce large breaks. That's not my typical writing style - so if you all have comments on that, please let me know! I'm trying here, lol. 
> 
> Let me know what works and what doesn't. There's a lot of plot coming before I can get back to senseless smut, but we will go back to sexy time soon enough :)


	21. Finally, The Finalizer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally make the trip to The Finalizer.

You woke with a start from the alarm.

You were in Kylo’s mega-bed, a dull headache burning through your frontal lobe. You felt like a cloud full of rain, uneasy but still somehow floating. The night before seemed far away and vague, like a dream. Images played through in your mind like a hologram: Kylo. You. The Temple. The pool. The dark. The void. Voices of the Sith wrapping around the two of you, convincing you to join. To touch, and you did much more than that.

You saw the time and panicked, taking a moment to look around for Kylo, but he was nowhere to be found. The two of you were supposed to travel to the Finalizer today, your first in-space flight. You’d slept in considerably, with only a half hour until you’d been scheduled to take off. You stole a glance at Kylo’s shelves, finding them nearly bare. You panicked less, coming to the conclusion he’d woken, packed, and left ahead of you.

Once ready, you collected the bags and checked the panel before you left his room, making sure your biometrics would allow you to seal the quarters for an extended time. You noticed, with a contended hum in your heart, that he had opened all authorities to you at some point. You sealed the room with your palm on the way out. Careful to check the hall before leaving. You slung both bags over your shoulder and smoothed your uniform against your body.

Your stomach was uneasy, washy from anxiety. You were a pile of nerves as you navigated toward the Hangar Bay early that morning. Yesterday seemed far away and foreign, something strange had come over you. You found your way to the bay on autopilot. When you’d arrived, you saw a familiar face waiting outside the shuttle. Jane stood by Kent and grinned when she saw you. She jogged over to you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, followed closely by Kent, who kept his distance, thankfully.

“Kent and I ran into each other in the mess hall yesterday,” She said as the two of you hugged. “He told me what time you were leaving – we wanted to wish you luck!”

You pulled back to smile at Kent, rather grateful he’d informed your friend of your departure time.

“It’s so early- I’m so happy you came!” You shook your head and smiled at her.

“Oh, I know. When he said 04:00, I said ‘gross,’ but I _had_ to say goodbye!”

The two of you giggled and you felt Kylo’s mind approaching from the east.

_What’s funny?_

His voice was light-hearted.

“You guys should go. I have to fly soon and I’m afraid I may blow chunks over you both if you stay much longer!” Jane laughed and squeezed your hand.

“Yuck!” She stuck out her tongue.

“Good luck.” Bailey smiled from behind her.

You turned as they departed, assessing the exterior of your shuttle. It was shiny, freshly polished, and ready for flight. A group of engineers disembarked as you approached. Nel spotted you and dismissed her team.

“Good morning, pilot.” She smiled, tiredly.

The two of you walked through the last return report and this morning’s flight inspection. You fiddled with your cap, not a fan of how tight it sat on your head. You had sensed Kylo nearing you, and your attention was entirely too focused on that. That is, until you heard Nel say something a bit out of place.

“Wait, what was that?” You asked, peering over her shoulder at the report.

“The backup blaster?” She questioned, a finger hovering over that section of the report.

“It isn’t firing on all cylinders. But, as long as you keep that in mind with your thrusters, it shouldn’t impede flight. The shuttle isn’t a combat craft, so there’s not much need for the backup blasters.”

You nodded, sure there would be no need, but you wanted to remember that. She walked you through the rest of the report until your Commander began climbing the ramp. Her attention snapped to his approaching darkness and she concluded the report before saluting the Commander. He dismissed her and she took her leave. He had a bag with him and placed it in the cargo bay of the cabin before taking yours from you too and doing the same. The two of you were quiet, barely taking notice of one another as the final engineers wrapped up around the ship. It wasn’t until the ramp folded back into the ship that you felt him turn to you.

“Ready?” He asked through the helmet’s synthesizer.

You nodded, still professional as the Command Bay loomed over the hangar. You cleared for takeoff, sitting in your restraints in the pilot’s chair. Kylo settled in the second chair again, restraints buckled into place as he pulled his data pad from his belt. An incoming call displayed on the device. He answered it.

“Hux.”

The Command Bay counted down your departure.

“I will.” Kylo responded to something the General had said.

He hung up as you took off, taking a steadying breath as you left the atmosphere. Just as you broke the blue horizon and entered the dark expanse of space, he grasped your hand, his gloves cold against the soft flesh of your palm. You extended a shaky hand to hyperdrive as he spoke.

“Your father wished you good luck.” He said quietly.

You were stock still until the control panel prompted you to enable autopilot. You released the steering hesitantly, hands hovering over the plastic and metal. Kylo had moved his hand to your thigh at some point and squeezed gently, reminding you of his presence. You turned to him, shocked when you were met with his face instead of the cold helmet. He’d discarded that at some point, too. His eyes were studying you carefully, like you might break.

“How long until we reach The Finalizer?” He asked quietly.

You took a breath, affording another glance at the blur of darkness and the twinkling streaks of stars and faraway galaxies.

“About ten minutes.” You whispered.

“How do you feel?” He squeezed your thigh again.

You looked back to him, his beautiful dark hair, and star-like eyes, too aware that you wanted him to break you even now. He smiled like he’d heard you. Oh, he had. He chuckled at your realization. Hand raising to cup your face in his gloved hand. You leaned into it, eyes breaking his gaze for a moment as you glanced back out the window. You heard him sigh, his warm, unaltered breath washed over your face.

“You’re nervous. I’d thought I’d never see it again after the way you behaved last night.” He said, as matter of fact.

You swallowed, not giving the anxiety in your nerves a name.

“Here, get up.” He prodded gently.

Your eyes went wide at this suggestion. You couldn’t leave your seat. You held fast at your position, hands instinctively holding the controls. He looked at you, understanding and smiling sweetly. He quirked a brow.

“Trust me.” He breathed.

You stood, hands still on the control board. He unbuckled his restraints and moved behind you, sitting himself in your spot. When he nestled comfortably into the pilot’s chair, he patted his lap, gesturing for you to sit. You did so, enjoying his touch and warmth beneath you. You sat a little taller now, able to see over the helm a bit more clearly. You rested your spine against his solid chest, his arms wrapped around your waist, under your arms so that you might still reach the controls in the event you needed to.

“I like the Finalizer.” He said after a time.

“Oh, yeah?” You asked.

He nodded behind you before resting his chin on your shoulder. You both sat like that for the next few minutes. Kylo described the base in detail, explaining how much he liked to live in space. He compared some parts to Starkiller, obviously the general feel of The First Order would be very much the same. He toyed with your hair as he described the living quarters in his portion of the ship.

“… big beds.” He whispered into the flesh of your neck.

You smiled and turned back to look at him over your shoulder. He was grinning like the cat who got the cream, eyes playful and alive with mischief. He seemed unaffected by the events which had transpired in the Temple of the Sith.

“Bigger than your new bed? Impossible.” You scoffed, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips.

“The General’s position didn’t grant me such nice quarters this time around.” You smirked, index finger tracing his long, straight nose.

“No?” He asked, quirking a brow.

“No, I’m in Zone 6.” You informed him.

He wrinkled his nose, the most adorable look of disgust covered his features.

“Yuck, _cots._ ” He seethed.

You giggled against him, pinching the crinkle of his nose.

His eyes softened as they met yours.

"Unacceptable. Just unacceptable." He declared, voice becoming nasally and high pitched.

A rather phenomenal impersonation of your father, without the accent.

"What's unacceptable, Commander?" You giggled, fingers hiding in his hair.

"No, no. You won't be sleeping in any cot. I won't allow it." He continued the funny voice, held his head high and nose stuck in the air.

"I won't?" You brushed your fingertips against his ears.

"Nope, that won't do." He snuggled his head against you, tickled by your caress.

"Where will I sleep, then?" You mused, tickling him again.

"With me, of course." He smirked.

"Oh, _of course_." You repeated.

"And _no one_ will find that suspicious.." You kissed him on his full lips.

"Yes. I'll figure something out for that, babe." He let the little pet name slip, sending a jolting ache to your core.

A vibration hummed underneath you, pressing all too close to the perfect spot. You jumped a bit, wriggled your hips into it. His hands made their way between the two of you, reaching for the data pad in his belt, but you wouldn't allow it at first. The stimulation was welcome between your legs.

He chuckled softly before pulling you off his lap. He answered the incoming call, selecting the speaker and handing the pad for you to hold as he pulled you back down by your hips. You landed with a thud in his lap and felt his erection dig into your backside.

"Yes?" He called from over your shoulder.

"Ren, one of our spies has reported information regarding droid." General Hux informed.

Kylo stood quickly, causing you to nearly fall from his lap. As you resettled into the pilot’s seat, he paced to the other areas of the ship, mumbling with the general, now off speaker. After a few minutes, he returned, taking his seat silently beside you. You glanced at him, seeing his eyes far away, lost in thought.

“Droid? Is it the one who stole the freighter?” You asked.

He was silent, not seeming to have heard you. The navigation beeped, warning you to reduce your speed for landing.

“Kylo, we’re almost there. You may want to put on the helmet.”

Silence.

“Kylo? Did you hear me?” You asked again.

“What?” He shook his waterlogged head.

“Put your helmet on. We’re almost there.”

He glanced at the controls. “Oh, yeah. Okay.”

He replaced the metal over his head.

Kylo and yourself disembarked the shuttle upon arrival. Each of you had grabbed your own bags and kept your distance from one another as the engineers boarded to examine the ship. Kylo left the Hangar Bay pretty quickly, without telling you where he was going. You tried to project to him but failed to focus. Your attention was taken by the engineer who approached you.

"We'll have your return reports sent to your data pad, officer." He said, dismissively.

Your attention was diverted to the arrival of another ship in the bay. You recognized it as the Night Buzzard, the Knights of Ren. Of course they’d be here, accompanying Kylo (and yourself, too). You looked back to the engineer at your side.

"Can you direct me to Zone 6?"

He gave you thorough directions, rights and lefts and halls. You committed them to memory before you thanked him and headed that way, stealing a glance back at the Night Buzzard and the six figures pouring from the hatch. You ducked into the hall, avoiding your new friends. By the time you had arrived at your room, your data pad was vibrating in your pocket. General Hux was the incoming call. You slipped inside the door and dropped your bags. The room was too dark to discern anything further than the glow of the data pad and you answered it.

"General?" You spoke into the device, fumbling for the control panel.

He said your name. “Safely landed?” He asked, fatherly worry lacing his accent.

You couldn’t help but smile as your fingers found the control panel.

“Yes sir.” The lights flickered on to reveal the incredibly tight quarters.

Your eyes fixed on a small cot at the back right of the room, you sighed loudly.

“Everything alright?” The General asked, concerned.

You laughed. “Yeah, this room is shit though.” You sat your bags down next to the cot, shaking your head when you noticed that one of your bags was taller than the cot.

“Yes, they aren’t nearly as accommodating. It’s temporary, I suppose.” He muttered, not as concerned now that he knew it was something so trivial.

A knock on your door caught your attention and you hurriedly ended the phone call with your father, mumbling a goodbye as he did the same. With another short, disgruntled glance at your pathetic cot, you opened the door to find Cardo. You huffed, crossing your arms, and making your body a barricade to your sad excuse for a room. He wasn’t donning the helmet, it wasn’t even in sight. You quirked your brow at him.

“Can I help you?” You asked curtly, but unable to keep the smile from spreading to your lips.

“Kylo instructed us to get you.” He glanced behind you at the small quarters.

You took the opportunity to do the same, sneaking a peak at the assemblage of all the remaining five knights lining the cramped hallway outside of your room. Your brows raised in surprise.

“He sent all of you? Did he think I would run?” You scoffed, shaking your head.

Vicrul caught your eye and smiled widely, eyes narrowing on you sexily. You rolled your eyes at him, still unable to keep yourself from smiling back.

“I’ll get your bags.” Cardo slid past you, his chest brushing against you.

You didn’t notice how his eyes flickered down in an attempt to meet yours. No, you were too busy being mildly offended that Kylo had sent a rather conspicuous group of trained assassins to collect you like you were a youngling in need of babysitting. Your hand darted to grasp Cardo’ bicep in passing, ignoring the hard flexing of muscle under your fingertips.

“Excuse you, this is my room.” He smirked; you caught that.

You frowned. “I don’t need bodyguards or babysitters, I can find it all on my own.” You crossed your arms defiantly once more.

Cardo hovered over your bags, brow knit over his blue eyes.

“You want to stay here?” He asked incredulously, eyes sweeping the confined space.

You laughed dryly. “Not exactly, but I will.”

You glanced back at your door where Vicrul and another knight who you hadn’t met yet had made their way inside the room, watching you bicker with Cardo.

“Give me his room number and I’ll find him later.” You offered, eyes back on Cardo.

He laughed just as dryly, eyeing you like a meal.

“Not going to happen, officer. Come on, you don’t want to stay _here_.” He held out a gloved hand to you.

“I do.” You insisted, heading for the door across from your cot.

“I’m going to take a shower and I’ll see you all there.”

Cardo snickered and you turned around to find that you just about walked into a closet. You looked around for another door, only to see that there was no other door. Where the fuck was the bathroom?

“Communal bathrooms in Zone 6.” Cardo snickered.

“Oh, hell no. Get my bags.” You headed toward the pack of knights.

Later, after a long training session with the Knights of Ren, Kylo joined your group in the small training room. You approached him immediately, knowing there was no concern to be open around the knights, but he pushed you away. You almost had a moment to feel sad before he shook his head and muttered:

“The Finalizer is _full_ of cameras.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to find one in doing so.

“Well, that’s going to be a problem.” You huffed.

He grinned.

“Lucky for you, we’re leaving for a few days.”

He turned to the knights who were gathering to listen.

“Already?” You asked.

“Yes, there’s a spy in Canto Bight with some information that we need.” He turned back to you.

“We’re leaving now.”

You nodded, looking to Cardo who was smirking.

 _Ah, Canto Bight._ He projected to you.

You furrowed your brow.

“Well, let’s go get the shuttle.” You sighed.

“No,” Kylo stopped you.

“You aren’t a pilot on this trip. You’re a knight.”

You looked to the other knights in the room, eyeing Kuruk in particular who you’d expected to disagree; but, to your surprise, they all remained quiet.

“Is that okay… with everyone?” You asked Kylo.

He smirked.

“Kuruk,” he called out.

The axe-wielding knight stepped forward.

“Is Night Buzzard ready?” Kylo asked.

Kuruk smirked. “Yes sir.”

While boarding the craft, Kylo was busy on his data pad having a heated conversation with Hux in an attempt to explain your new status to your confused father. Cardo and Ap’lek sat next to you and Ap’lek nodded to Kylo.

“What’s up with Hux this time?” He asked Cardo.

Cardo shrugged. “Who knows, guys got a saber up his ass.”

You giggled, turning a little red.

Cardo smirked.

“Not a fan of the General?” You asked the knights.

“Psh.” Cardo responded with a quirked brow.

Ap’lek laughed.

“No, are you?” Cardo snickered under his breath.

“Hux is her father.” A voice said from behind them.

The three of you turned to look to the source of the voice. Kuruk leaned against the wall, one leg up like the cocky son of a bitch Kylo warned you about. You glared at him.

“That a problem?” You sneered.

He scoffed, grin plastered to his face. You noticed how his haircut looked like a shitty knockoff of Kylo’s. The self-proclaimed ‘second in command.’

“No, not at all.” He circled your group.

“Means you might hate him more than us, Lady Ren.” He eyed you like a meal.

“’Lady Ren?’” You asked, brow raised and looking to Cardo for answers.

You felt the most comfortable with him.

Cardo smiled warmly, perhaps it wasn’t a slight.

“Not a slight at all.” He assured.

“You’re a Ren – and a lady. Simple as that.” Cardo grinned.

“Why should it matter that I’m a lady?” You challenged, eyes back on Kuruk.

“Why can’t I simply be a ‘Ren’?”

Ap’lek cleared his throat.

“It’s an honor, actually.” He clarified, eyes meeting yours.

“Your _our lady,_ we’ll serve you – beside you.”

Cardo nodded in agreement.

Trudgen passed your group, shaking his head and Kuruk joined him in disappearing further into the trip.

You looked between Cardo and Ap’lek.

“They’re friendly.” You scoffed.

Cardo chuckled.

“They’ll be better after we’ve gotten to Petral’s.”

Ap’lek and him shared some little handshake, laughing. Ushar tapped their elbows on the way by, repeating “Petral’s” under his breath with a laugh.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Nightclub in Canto Bight.” Cardo leaned over to you.

“Good times!” Ushar called back over his shoulder.

Kylo had rounded the corner just then, eyes falling on the group of you.

“Petral’s?” Cardo asked, eyes wide like a puppy.

Kylo smirked, scratching the back of his head a little sheepishly.

“Yeah, if you want. We don’t have to meet the spy until tomorrow.”

You shook your head wildly.

“No, I don’t have clothes for a club, Kylo.”

“We’ll pick something up for you on the way to the hotel.” Cardo winked.

Kylo laughed, lowering his lips to your ear.

“Oh gods, he’s going to pick out something _I’m sure_ I can’t wait to see you in.”

A blush spread over your cheeks while the two exchanged wicked smiles.

You were so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me some feedback, I'm worried this is terrible :(


	22. A Knight to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I posted two chapters today! Please be sure to read chapter 21 before this one, thank you!  
> WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT  
> I updated the tags, you may want to mind them. If group sex is not your thing, please do not read. If anal is not your thing, please do not read. If you're sick and twisted like me, enjoy. :)

As Kylo had warned you, Cardo had picked up a scandalous outfit for you to wear to Petral’s that night. After you’d landed, Kylo and the other knights escorted you to your hotel while Cardo acquired the goods. A micro dress and a dazzling pair of black stilettos, you’d heard Kylo transfer an absurd amount of credits to Cardo in order to cover them, which you wished you hadn’t heard. Though you had to admit, now that they were here and laying across your luxury hotel bedspread, you couldn’t wait to step into them. Kylo would be sharing the room with you but gave you some privacy to shower and change while he’d finished his conversation with Hux in Ushar’s room down the hall. After the sun set over Canto Bight, you’d just finished adjusted the strappy heels to your feet when Kylo walked in.

At first, he’d stood in the doorway stunned, eyes on you like you might disappear if he blinked. The black dress was silky and hugged your curves deliciously, the fact that the hem ended _just_ below your ass didn’t hurt. And your legs look eons long in those heels. He cleared his throat, biting his lip to keep from saying anything overtly stupid. Cardo had walked into the hall at just that same moment and saw Kylo standing dumbstruck in your doorway. Kuruk, Vicrul, and Ushar not too far behind. Cardo side stepped around Kylo, worried that the dress had ripped, or you’d broken a heel – he hadn’t really wanted to waste more time shopping.

“What’s the matter, does it not fit- _oh gods_.” Cardo ran out of breath when he’d caught a glimpse.

You giggled at their responses, your long hair curly and loose down your back. Kuruk and Vicrul dipped their heads in, too.

Kuruk smirked approvingly.

“Well, well, Lady Ren.” He whistled.

Kylo swallowed hard, ready to get some alcohol in his system.

You’d felt like a celebrity walking into the club. While other patrons waited in the longest line you’ve ever seen, the eight of you strolled right up to the bouncer and Kylo didn’t even have to utter a word before the burly Borneck ushered you through. The lights were hypnotic, music strange and sensual, the knights huddled around you while your group was escorted to a private club room. After a few rounds of drinks, one failed attempt to get Kylo to dance with you and many failed attempts on Kuruk’s side to get you to dance with him, you finally agreed to dance with Vicrul who was inarguably glowing in this lively environment. 

You’d kept close to those three for most of the night: Kylo (naturally), Cardo, and Vicrul. Cardo kept you responsibly plied with alcohol and equal parts food, Vicrul kept you dancing so long as you’d indulge him, and Kylo kept you impossibly horny with stolen glances and a hand on your thigh or ass whenever he got the chance. At one point, while saddled up close to him – nearly in his lap – Cardo leaned forward and asked you about your dad.

“So Hux is really your dad, huh?” He had to talk a little louder over the volume of the bass on this particular song.

Vicrul’s eyes went wide.

“What?! He is!?” He yelled.

Cardo rolled his eyes, exasperated with his brother.

“Where were you, dumbass?”

Vicrul chortled, punching Cardo in his arm playfully.

“I was taking…” He looked over at you out of the corner of his eye.

“A nap. I was taking a nap.” He finished suspiciously.

You glanced at Kylo, who hid his amused smile in your hair.

“That’s what they’re calling drugs these days.” You elbowed Cardo’s ribs gently.

Cardo burst out in a fit of laughter, Vicrul shaking his head incredulously.

“Ha-ha.” Vicrul faked a laugh, leaning closer to you.

“So Hux is your daddy?”

Something about his voice was laced with implication. Kylo’s breath at your ear made you shiver.

“Who’s your daddy, baby girl?” He chuckled darkly in your ear.

You crossed your legs tightly, stopping the rush of wet heat which flooded between your thighs. Vicrul and Cardo were not oblivious to the movement. The other knights could sense a shift in the energy and floated in your direction, each of them looking uniquely attractive and equally hungry.

“Do you want to _show them_ who’s your daddy? Hm?” Kylo hummed a little louder this time.

Vicrul shifted, moving out of the booth to join Kylo’s side. Your eyes were on the knights descending on you like darkness. You gulped, equal parts terrified and undeniably turned on. But surely Kylo would never share you.

“No, I might not share. Maybe I will... But I’d certainly let them watch.” He growled in your ear.

You whimpered out loud. The crowd of knights around you murmured appreciatively. Kylo motioned for you to stand on the booth, hands steadying you as you stood up.

“Do a little turn for our audience, little one.” He suggested.

You blushed, knowing better than to disobey him. Cardo held out a hand nearby, in case you needed it.

“Knights, your Lady Ren here…” Kylo’s hand traveled up your thigh to your ass and grabbed.

“Is a little daddy’s girl.” He growled.

“Aren’t you?” You looked down at him while the knights fell closer.

You nodded.

“Come play with daddy and his friends.” He said lowly, only for you to hear.

Your core clenched tight around nothing.

Kylo helped you down to your knees, straddling his lap in the club booth. You heard quiet groans erupt from the audience behind you, muttered expletives hanging in the air. Kylo’s head tilted to the side, just barely, a small acknowledgment to whichever knight was closest to your right side. Despite the indication for his knights to continue as planned, his eyes remained locked with yours. He could sense you were nervous, but willing. So willing to please him, his perfect girl. His hands abandoned yours to trail down your shoulders and arms, then wrapped securely around your waist. You noticed his hands weren’t the only ones there. You almost turned your head, curious which of his knights had saddled up beside the two of you to assist, but you kept your eyes warily on Kylo. He sensed this apprehension and licked his lips, pleased with your loyalty even under the circumstances.

His eyes left yours briefly, landing on Vicrul’s hands beside his.

“Vicrul, help me take off her little dress.”

You swallowed, grateful he’d addressed the knight so you wouldn’t have to guess. Kylo’s steady hands slowly gathered the fabric at the front of your dress while slightly shaky ones, Vicrul’s, assisted in bring the material up over your ass and, ultimately, over your heard. As your heart shaped ass, slim waist, and nearly bare back were revealed to the gathering of knights behind you, a chorus of groans flooded your ears. Even Vicrul let out a small whimper as he craned his neck to see your perfect ass sitting on Kylo’s lap. Your skin felt blushed and exposed, fire hot despite the chill of the private room. Your eyes hadn’t left Kylo’s, who was smirking knowingly while watching you. You watched him nod his head slowly, answering an unspoken question from one of his knights.

Weight shifted again at your left side now, you could sense the wariness in the movement. Another set of shaky hands lifted to your neck, gently collecting your hair, and sweeping it over your left shoulder before trailing slowly down your neck and back. His fingers paused for a moment over the band of your bra, Kylo’s eyes flickered in the direction of the other knight before looking back to you. You knew he was asking permission, they both were. You tentatively quirked a brow at Kylo, tilting your chin in the direction of the second knight as if to ask: ‘can I look around, now?’ He smirked and nodded, his hands gripping your waist tighter, telling you he was right there. You took a steadying breath before glancing over. Cardo, his hesitant blue eyes struggling to stay above your shoulders.

You felt more confident now, behind you were the rest of the knights: Ushar, Ap’lek, Trudgen, and Kuruk, and while you were more unfamiliar with some of them, the brothers on either side of you were, dare you say, friends. You looked back to Kylo, brows raised, surprised he was okay with this. He grinned back at you darkly, all composure and control. All his knights knew who was in control here: him. And being in possession of the one thing they all valued most in this room, he controlled them even more than usual. He leaned forward and captured your lips in his, making a show of how easily you allowed his tongue to invade your mouth. One of his hands abandoned its grip on your waist to wrap around your throat; Cardo’s fingers quickly dodged contact and fell down your side, carefully brushing the side of your breast. He shuddered, repressing a moan.

The knight’s combined energy was thick and on edge, each of them finely tuned to the two of you in the center of the room. Kylo broke the kiss quickly, a split-second decision that if he didn’t start to share soon, he might never. He flipped you around in his arms, your ass slapping his lap once seated in the other direction. You gasped when you felt the evidence of his arousal against your scantily clad ass. Your eyes met Ushar’s across the table and you smirked, wriggling your ass against Kylo’s erection. He moaned against his will behind you, and all the knight’s eyes flashed immediately to seek out the source. All except Ushar who was caught in your gaze, you could see him breathing heavily from across the table. Vicrul and Cardo reached toward you simultaneously, both looking to Kylo for approval. His hands gripped your waist again, a silent warning since he couldn’t see your face, and nodded to them. Vicrul reached you first, his hands needy and sought out your breasts. Cardo followed immediately behind, sweeping hair off your neck once more before pressing wet kisses to your pulse. Vicrul’s hand eclipsed your left breast through the thin, lacey material of your bra – his thick fingers rolled your nipple until it hardened, tight, under his touch. Your head lulled back onto Kylo’s shoulder, eyes fluttering closed as a gentle sigh spilled from your lips. Cardo moved his attentions lower down, and once more, Kylo took over his position, lips grazing your earlobe before nipping gently at the pillowy skin.

You bucked your hips in his lap. More groans escaped the audience of knights across the table, accompanied by the sounds of shifting and quiet murmurs to one another. Cardo’s fingers had found the lip of your bra on your right breast and his hand dipped inside the lace to cup your flesh in his grasp; drawing back the material, he uncovered your pert tit and his lips closed around the sensitive bud. You gasped, hips bucking against Kylo once more. You had three set of hands on you, only really interested in the touch of the one directly behind you. You begged Kylo for more with your mind, head rolling against his shoulder until your lips parted just underneath his ear. Your breath poured out, sending chills down his spine.

“More.” You whispered.

Kylo’s fingers dug into your waist as he picked you up off his lap, Vicrul and Cardo stopping immediately and looking to him with flushed faces. For the first time, Kylo’s hands left your waist entirely and drifted down to his belt buckle, swiftly undoing his pants. He looked back to the group of his knights, all eyes on him – only waiting for a word. He smirked, reveling in the control, and reached around your chest to grip the material of your thin bra. Grasping where the cups met your sternum, he ripped the fabric away from your chest, leaving you damn near naked and bared in front of the six men. His eyes met each of his knights, assuring them they could take their fill of the view before his hands went back to his belt. You impatiently wriggled against him once more.

“Men, get comfortable.” He said.

You watched Ushar and Trudgen’s eyes dart hesitantly to their master, while Ap’lek and Kuruk couldn’t tear their eyes away from your flushed chest. Having pulled down his trousers enough, Kylo rejoined Vicrul and Cardo in the booth, giving them brief glances of approval, before claiming your hips again and pulling you down to sit on his lap. Cardo’s hand grasped yours to steady you, Vicrul fidgeting with his own belt buckle and smirking at you with playful eyes. You felt the hot girth of Kylo’s unsheathed cock beneath your bottom twitch as he nestled his chin over your left shoulder to look back at the rest of the knights.

“My little slut wants to be fucked – let’s not keep her waiting.” He nearly growled before hooking your panties to the side and sliding into your heat in one swift thrust.

You gasped, hand gripping Cardo’s as you turned your head to meet Kylo’s over your shoulder. Your lips met in a frenzied wet mess, devouring each other as he thrust into you. More chaos erupted around the two of you as groans intensified, the sound of belt buckles and zippers being undone and the voice of a very feverish Ushar directing the other knights to help him pull back the table. You opened your eyes to Ushar and Trudgen gripping the sides of the heavy marble tabletop while Kuruk hastened around the other side to kick the base with such force that the tabletop cracked and split. You panted as the knights discarded the broken table in the far corner of the room before gathering back around you. Kylo’s hand on your waist encouraged you to bounce lightly against his cock and you leaned into Cardo’s supporting hand to do just that.

Kylo’s lips attached to your neck, sucking red welts to your pulse points, and your head whipped to the side to watch Vicrul finally free his cock from the restraints of his trousers. He wasn’t nearly as thick as Kylo, but his length was surprising, and your breath caught as he spat into his hand before running his fist over his length. He smiled at you with sharp teeth before diving forward to wrap his lips around your nipple, teeth grazing the stiff bud against his tongue. You looked back to Cardo, still gripping his hand in yours and your eyes followed his as they trailed over your body, his other hand squeezed your breast over and over again. You whimpered, catching his attention and he smiled up at you. His hand gripped your breast as the other hand abandoned its grip on yours to attend to his own erection tenting his pants. You glanced up to the audience of knights as they came closer, each of them wrestling with releasing their cocks from their pants.

You’d made eye contact briefly with Kuruk as Kylo rolled a particularly hard thrust into your cunt – you yelped and rolled your hips back to meet him. Kuruk’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Kylo growled possessively under you, earning attention from most his knights. All except Cardo and Vicrul, who were too close to the pair of you to misunderstand Kylo’s growl for anything other than pleasure. You looked back to Cardo, your eyes landing on the cock he held in his hand. He was thick, and angrily red and veiny; you wanted to taste it, your tongue feeling too big for your mouth as you swallowed. You whined and wriggled against Kylo, seeking some friction against your neglected clit. Cardo’s eyes followed yours before he hooked his index finger in the side of your panties, looking to Vicrul for assistance. Then the two brothers worked their fingers around the material and ripped the fabric off of you.

“Mmm, good call. They were getting in my way.” Kylo panted underneath you.

Vicrul’s eyes widened as the pink, little bud of your clit and your glistening slit wrapped tightly around Kylo’s cock was revealed. He was surprised to find himself frozen and gaping, hand blindly flogging his throbbing dick to the sight. Cardo, however, had no hesitation. His fingers darted for your clit, pinching the stiff bud between his fingers while he dropped to his knees between your legs. His tongue swept the tip of your clit, careful not to get in Kylo’s way. You moaned loudly at that, hand dashing forward to thread into Cardo’s short mess of waves. Vicrul snapped out of it at the sound of your moans, leaning forward to slap your chest, watching his hand come down over the jiggling mounds and turn them pink. Your mind sought Kylo’s briefly, asking permission. Kylo nodded against your neck, his hand slowly making his way around your waist to relieve Cardo in a few moments.

“Cardo.” Your sweet voice called out in the full room.

His head popped up between your legs, eyebrows raised and eyes wide like a school boy. You smirked, hand slithering out of his hair to beckon him forth with a single finger under his chin. Kylo’s fingers found your clit, knowing just how to touch you. You moaned, bringing Cardo closer to your lips. His blue eyes hooded, lips parting as he leaned closer to you. Your hand snaked up his neck to cup the back of his head and you pulled him to you. Your lips crashed together, just in time and Kylo picked up speed over your buzzing clit. You moaned into Cardo’s mouth while your other hand sought out Vicrul’s jaw to your other side. Cardo slipped his tongue into your mouth, sliding it across yours before sucking your lower lip between his teeth and nibbling carefully, his hands abandoning his throbbing cock to cup either side of your face tenderly. If Kylo hadn’t been balls deep in your cunt, he may have ordered a bit of distance between the two of you, but his jealousy was short lived as he felt you fuck back against his hips harder.

“Fuck, that’s right baby. Show him how you kiss daddy after a long day.” Kylo ordered, thumb pressing tight over your nub.

You jerked, tongue sucking Cardo’s lip into your own mouth, hand sliding down to his cock. He shuddered underneath your touch, shivering as your tiny hand gripped the base of his length. Vicrul’s chin in your other hand, you brought him up to his knees to latch his lips around your breast and your hand traveled down to wrap around his length too. Slowly, you started to pump both brother’s dicks in unison, the same rhythm as your hips meeting Kylo’s cock in your cunt. You could sense your audience falling closer, hearing Ushar make a snide comment at Trudgen for hogging all the view. You broke your kiss to look at the men gathered around you.

“Get along.” You ordered in a small, sweet voice.

Trudgen smiled down at you, wickedly. The only time you’d ever seen him smile.

“Is that an order, Miss Ren?” He said sarcastically.

Kylo chuckled behind you as he slowed his thrusts.

“Yes, Trudgen.” He called. “You all take orders from her, now.” His hand snaked up your stomach to grasp the breast Vicrul wasn’t suckling.

“Whatever she says, you’ll do.” He said much more darkly.

You turned to grin at him. He grinned back, all affection and adoration. Cardo pretended not to notice.

“Cardo.” You called to him again, sensing him close off for whatever reason.

“Yes, Miss Ren?” His eyes met yours immediately.

“You’ve been very good tonight.” You moaned out the words, hand dipping to cup his balls.

He whimpered in your grasp.

“Would you like to show Trudgen what happens when you listen?” You quirked a brow at him.

You’d caught Vicrul’s attention, he raised his head to watch Cardo and yourself. Trudgen grit his teeth from across the room. Ushar snickered at his side, clearly pleased with how you’d chosen to target him. Kylo snickered too, slowing underneath you in anticipation of what you wanted next. Cardo leaned closer to you, thrusting his cock into your grip.

“Y-Yes, Miss Ren. P-Please.” He stammered, lids hooded as he let his forehead rest against yours.

“Mmm.” You moaned, eyeing Trudgen mischievously before gripping Vicrul’s cock tighter in your other hand.

Cardo’s eyes met yours again, wide, and so blue.

“Fuck my mouth, Cardo.” You whispered to him, sweet voice all silk and sugar.

He groaned, getting off his knees to stand in the booth. Vicrul shuffled closer into your side, desperate to still receive your attention, and fucked into your hand. You leaned over to press a small kiss to his lips before turning to Cardo again. Your lashes fluttered before you looked up at him from underneath the long fringe. Cardo made a small noise while reaching out to Kylo’s thoughts. Kylo hummed, a small sign of approval; and that was all Cardo needed before he threaded both his hands in your loose waves and guided his cock to your open mouth. You extended your tongue, ready to taste him, as you lifted your hips and lowered them slowly back over Kylo’s cock. Trudgen growled from across you, fighting the urge to lean forward and take Cardo’s place at your side. Your eyes darted to his, warning him to stay put. Kuruk erupted into laughter at his side, elbowing him hard.

Cardo thrust into your mouth, his thick length hot against your tongue. You hollowed your cheeks as he found a rhythm, moans tumbling loose from his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ , that’s good.” Cardo hissed.

You felt Kylo’s cock twitch inside you, pride getting him harder than before.

“I can see… _fuck_ ,” Cardo picked up his pace. “I can see why you want her so badly, Master.”

Cardo’s compliments went straight to Kylo’s head. Yes, Cardo would be rewarded tonight.

“Mmm, I know. Her little mouth is _so good_.” Kylo moaned as he picked up his speed again.

Vicrul shuddered, watching your lips purse around Cardo’s cock.

“Does she feel good, Cardo?” He asked, desperate for some details.

The other knights shifted closer; Trudgen careful to share the space this time.

“ _Fuck yeah_ ,” Cardo moaned. “Rub her little clit for me, Vic.”

Vicrul lunged for your cunt, two fingers vibrating over the stiff bud; your fingers gripped him tighter in thanks. He moaned, hips snapping furiously into your grip.

Kylo felt you clench around him once, twice, quicker, and quicker each time.

“Oh, you gonna come, little one?” Kylo teased you, hot breath close to your ear.

You nodded furiously, letting Cardo’s length slide into your relaxed throat.

“FUCK yes!” Cardo groaned, grip tightening in your hair.

“Mmm, I don’t think she deserves to cum yet. Do you, master?” Vicrul asked, fingers slowing against your clit until they halted all together.

You tore your mouth away from Cardo, eyes throwing daggers at Vicrul who only smiled devilishly back at you.

“ _Vic_..” You growled a warning.

Cardo glared at him, too; slowly stroking your cheek. His brother had interrupted the best blowjob of his entire life. He’d get a swift punch in the gut for that later.

Kylo laughed loudly underneath you, rocking into you mercilessly now.

“Oh, don’t tease your lady, Vic.” He laughed, ready to wrap his fingers around your nub to finish the job himself.

“She’s a spiteful little thing.” He cooed in your ear.

You glared at Vicrul, not wanting to beg when Kylo had given you the control over them. You felt Cardo lightly stroking your cheek, quietly begging you to turn back to him. A wicked grin split your face, eyes still glaring holes into Vicrul who grinned back, none the wiser. You wriggled your hips against Kylo, buttering him up. Kylo chuckled, his laugh rumbling through your back, hearing where your thoughts were going. You shot a small apologetic look at Cardo, a brief apology for your loss of attention. You let go of your grip on Vicrul’s dick with little ceremony or grace, letting his angry, red prick smack his abdomen. Then, with a helping hand from Cardo, you shimmied off of Kylo’s cock and stood. On wobbly knees, and still grasping Cardo’s hand in your own, you leaned over your handsome Commander.

“Mmm,” You grinned at him.

He nodded, already giving you the go ahead; but you wanted to drag this out.

“Daddy, I want you to fuck my ass.” You cooed quietly in his ear, low enough that Vicrul and the rest of the knights couldn’t hear but just loud enough that Cardo could.

Cardo’s heart leapt in his chest, seeing where this might be going and feeling so grateful he’d been good for you tonight.

Kylo chuckled darkly, hands already on your waist to pull himself up. Vicrul watched with fearful eyes, shuffling to stand with everyone else.

You turned your glare to him.

“Vic.” You growled.

He swallowed hard.

“Sit _right here_.” You demanded, pointing at the floor in front of you.

Vicrul looked to Kylo for approval, but his master wouldn’t look his way. All Kylo’s attention was solely on you, his little Commander. Cardo watched as Kylo’s fingers made tiny circular motions on your back, an involuntary sign of affection. Vicrul realized he was at your beck and call, moving to stand in the spot which you’d directed him to. He blushed with embarrassment as Trudgen and Ushar stepped out of the way to make room for him. He slowly started to lower himself to his knees, attempting to kneel rather than sit. You brought your right foot up, still clad in your shiny stiletto, and rested it on his shoulder. This gave him a spectacular view of your glistening slit, red and puffy from Kylo’s cock railing into you repeatedly. If this was his punishment for denying you, he’d be doing it again and again. You kicked hard against his chest and he fell hard on his ass on the floor.

Cardo snickered behind you.

“I said sit.” You sneered.

You turned to Kylo, rising to your tippy toes for a kiss while he slowly drew his shirt over his head.

“Thank you.” You hummed appreciatively.

Turning your sights on Cardo, you allowed your gaze to trail down the length of his body, lingering briefly on the throbbing length between his legs, and back up to meet his eyes. He heaved heavy breaths, on edge and waiting for your command. You smiled at him, resting your head on Kylo’s bare bicep and batted your lashes at him. His cock jumped, begging for your attention. The silence behind you was deafening; none of the knights felt like they could breath without risking your wrath. It was clear their master was loving letting you call the shots.

“Cardo, go sit down.” You licked your lips.

Oh gods, his heart could have exploded right there. He didn’t do you the disservice of looking to Kylo for permission. You were running this show. You were in charge. And he belonged to you, all you needed to do was reach out at take him. Kylo chuckled when Cardo didn’t hesitate to question it; he wasn’t sure he’d give the knights this privilege ever again, better let them enjoy it tonight. Cardo sat in the same spot Kylo had sat, spreading his legs wide over the booth. He looked up to you for further instruction, eyes wide in anticipation. You patted Kylo’s bare chest before sauntering over to Cardo, your naked ass swaying perfectly from side to side at just Vicrul’s eyeline, who groaned and craned his neck to get a better look. Kylo squatted beside him, shoulder blocking his view.

He lowered himself next to Vicrul’s ear and whispered.

“You’re lucky you get to watch.” Vicrul’s eyes darted to his Master, wide and sad at the implication.

Kylo tilted his head at him.

“No touching, Vic. Lady’s orders.” He smiled, almost understandingly.

“I told you, she’s a spiteful little thing.” He grinned wickedly, laughing along with Ap’lek and Kuruk who’d overheard him.

Meanwhile, you had sauntered over to Cardo, placing your hands flat against his thighs. You lowered you lips next to his ear, just brushing the sensitive skin on his neck. He wanted to devour you with his eyes, but instead watched as Kylo squatted in front of Vic and whispered something to him that left him wide eyed and left the other knights chuckling. He smirked. You pressed your chest against his, one hand sliding up his torso to grip the material of his shirt in your thin fingers. You tugged, indicating you wanted him to remove the article of clothing. He did so without question, shedding it and balling it up in his fists. You looked down at the ball of fabric.

“You know where to throw it.” You flashed him a sinister smile and leaned just slightly to his left.

He took the room you afforded him to reel back his arm and toss the shirt right into Vicrul’s face.

Kylo and the other knight’s bellowed in uproarious laughter. Cardo grinned, smug, as Vicrul shot daggers with his eyes.

You giggled, running your palms up his thighs and his bare chest. Cardo watched you, letting his eyes linger on the swells of your perky tits which were swaying gently right in front of him. He hadn’t noticed Kylo begin to walk over to you two again, bringing the horde of knights close behind, which effectively blocked Vicrul’s view more so and he whined like a puppy from across the room. Kylo rubbed small circles across your shoulder blades as you bent to Cardo’s ear again.

“You’ve been so good.” You teased, trailing a finger between his spread thighs.

He shuddered.

“Are you close already?” You asked, pulling back to look into his eyes.

He deliberated for only a moment, wondering which answer you’d prefer. Not wanting to keep you waiting, he answered honestly.

“Not quite.” He gulped, hoping you wouldn’t take it the wrong way or be offended.

He’d been so close to finishing in your sweet, hot mouth a few minutes ago, but once interrupted he knew it would take longer for him to cum now, just from the frustration of being thwarted. You bit your lower lip and bent forward to cup his balls. He moaned.

“Oh good.” You sighed, reaching back for Kylo’s hand.

You pulled the Commander closer. Cardo watched him place his hands on either side of your hips, his eyes trained on his fingers digging into your flesh.

Kylo spared Cardo a fleeting glance.

“Get on his lap, baby girl.” He breathed into your ear.

Cardo’s breath faltered, he looked to Ushar who gave him a look that said: ‘You lucky fucking bastard.’

“Give me a hand?” You raised a brow, teasing him and letting him know you’d noticed his assistance all night.

It didn’t go unnoticed, then. You’d appreciated it.

He grasped your hand and help you to climb into his lap. The rest of the knights took this new view as another opportunity to release their cocks, stroking them again after the abrupt halt earlier. All except Vicrul, who sat in the floor in front of you all with a raging hard on he wasn’t allowed to touch. Kylo sent him back a small glance, to be sure he was following your orders. You lowered your hips just enough to feel Cardo’s length jump at you, twitching from the proximity of your dripping cunt. You placed either hand on his shoulders, bracing yourself, and Kylo moved behind you to afford Cardo a moment to stare at you without his prying eyes. Kylo’s lips found your ear and he spoke loud enough for all his knights to hear.

“You want his cock, baby girl?”

Cardo twitched. Ushar groaned. Trudgen squeezed the head of his cock. Ap’lek fell closer. Kuruk licked his lips. Vicrul blinked and throbbed insistently in the confines of his pants.

You blushed a bright pink, eyes on Cardo. You nodded.

Cardo groaned, eyes flickering down to watch you rock your hips against him, your wet heat sliding up and down the length of his dick. He shuddered, hands instinctively grabbing your waist. Kylo growled from behind the shield of your body and Cardo immediately dropped his hands. Kylo whispered lowly into your ear, too low for any of the knights to hear, even Cardo.

“You can have his cock, but you don’t come until I say so.” He growled.

You nodded furiously, turning your head to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

Cardo had been so fixated on watching your tongue slide into Kylo’s mouth that he hadn’t felt you rise up on your knees. His cock jumped as reflex, standing proudly at attention beneath you and you lowered yourself slowly onto his cock. Cardo gasped and bucked, the head of his cock sliding into your cunt with ease and you whined into Kylo’s mouth above him. You continued to slowly lower your hips, spearing yourself on his cock, and _gods_ it felt good. Kylo supported your back, you leaned against him and sighed when his fingers came around to pinch your rosy nipples. You peeked down at Cardo, having shut your eyes during the initial penetration, to find him already looking back at you. Wide-eyed, like he had discovered a goddess, he lazily smiled at you, hands gripping your thighs as he found the strength to begin plowing into you. You squealed, one hand gripping Kylo’s hand and the other turned to claws against Cardo’s chest.

“Good girl, ride him.” Kylo praised you, his hand abandoning your breast to pull the hair away from your neck.

Cardo mumbled in response. “Mhm!”

You whined, rotating your hips a bit, and grinding down onto Cardo’s lap.

“Fuck, _yes_.” Cardo breathed.

The three of you were unaware of the chorus of grunts and groans from the other knights, it became background sound, just as the club’s music had before them.

“You’re taking his cock so well, baby.” Kylo praised, his lips brushing down your neck.

Cardo mumbled in agreement again, mingling with the sound of your moans.

“My little slut. You love having a big cock inside you, don’t you?” Kylo growled, his hand wandering down your back and over the swells of your hips.

“Yes daddy!” You cried out.

“Mmm, daddy’s a little jealous, baby.” He muttered so quietly.

You froze. Cardo hadn’t heard his master, so he only took the action as a moment of fatigue and quickly thrust up into you to aid you.

You bit back the screaming moan that caused.

You didn’t want to make him jealous. You were doing this for him. And you. But him, mostly.

He sensed your anxiety.

“No, no baby. Keep going.” He assured you, cooing softly into your ear.

Your connection made Cardo shudder, a little jealous himself that you were paying so much attention to his master who was barely touching you, while Cardo was splitting you open relentlessly, the current sole recipient of all your clenches and shudders.

“I want you, too, baby.” Kylo whispered to you, his voice strangled with desire.

You clenched hard around Cardo, eyes going fuzzy from the building orgasm in your belly. You knew what Kylo wanted, and your body could hardly wait. Kylo glanced back at Vicrul again, pleased he was panting with want but otherwise not touching himself. His neck craned for the best view while he stayed sitting in his spot. Kylo smirked before turning back to you, nodding at his knights to participate when ready and stroked his erection once or twice before holding his hand to your mouth.

“Help me out, baby girl.” He said.

You locked eyes with Cardo, smirking when you saw his confusion, and opened your mouth for Kylo’s fingers. Cardo watched, open mouthed, as Kylo collected from spit from your tongue and withdrew his hand. Kylo kicked Cardo left foot gently, an indication to widen his stance.

_Oh, no fucking way. No fucking way. Yes, yes. Oh gods, yes._

Cardo understood now. He and Ushar had tried this with a prostitute in their last trip to Canto Bight, he remembered how he’d thought that experience would never happen again – men weren’t born that lucky. Cardo was here now, however, the luckiest damn bastard in infinite galaxies, as Kylo spread your spit into your tight asshole before lining himself up and pushing into you from behind. You pursed your lips to keep the scream a more docile groan. Cardo could feel the pressure increase steadily, then felt Kylo’s cock slide in and against his own through the thin skin inside you. Cardo stilled, allowing himself a few moments to calm down before he exploded into you right there.

With his movements stilled underneath you, you leaned more weight onto him and arched your back to allow Kylo some room to rail into your ass. His hands took their place on your hips and you looked over your shoulder to see the knights descend on your trio like moths to a flame. A hand on each breast, Ap’lek and Kuruk teased and tormented the perky mounds until they were pink and abused from their handling. Trudgen sat himself on a seat back for a better view and jerked himself furiously, eyes flitting from place to place under his tightly knit brow. And Ushar came round to the front, stood over Cardo, and thrust his cock into your open mouth, you sputtered and choked a bit as you struggled to get used to all of your holes being used at once.

Having recovered, Cardo began slamming home with renewed vigor, loving the way your tits bounced in the confines of other knight’s grips.

“Fuck… so.. _tight_.” Cardo moaned.

“I know… gods baby, _take it_. Take us _all the way in._ ” Kylo growled in your ear.

“Yesyesyesyesyes.” Cardo babbled.

Kylo’s cock demanded more room and more movement, but Cardo was much more than contented to scrape against your g-spot where he was, mindlessly humping you as he fell forward toward his climax. You felt stretched, used, and absolutely glorious. With all the sets of hands on you, you could still feel Kylo’s grip most among the rest, his touch felt like fire against your skin. Nearing your orgasm, you began clenching almost uncontrollably around Cardo and Kylo. Kylo sensed it coming, proven correct when he felt the tight rim of muscle grip him tighter in an attempt to suck him down. He glanced at Cardo underneath you.

“Don’t cum inside her.” Kylo growled.

Cardo’s eyes immediately met his, wide and almost terrified. Kylo understood immediately.

Cardo wasn’t going anywhere unless he was forced to. He couldn’t help it.

Kylo growled louder. Ushar, seeing this rage, withdrew himself from your mouth and gave his master some room. Kylo slipped out of you with ease, but you almost didn’t notice. You were falling faster toward that climax, that coil wound tightly in your tummy and threatening to burst.

You heard Kylo growl your name and your eyes snapped open to meet his.

“Don’t you cum on his cock.” He growled, hand gripping your chin.

“You only come on my cock, understand?” His jaw was set, trying to hide the fear that you may be too far gone to obey him.

But much to his surprise and adoration, you stopped dead in your tracks, dismounting Cardo in one swift movement and stepping into Kylo’s arms. Cardo whimpered, a few knights found their release from the close call, and Kylo marveled at his perfect little girl. Cardo grabbed his swollen length and fapped furiously, trying not to think so loudly at his master. Kylo only chuckled, hearing his hatred.

“Baby girl, get on your knees.” He demanded, helping you maneuver between Cardo’s legs.

“Good girl.” Kylo joined you on his knees, lining himself up with the sopping wet walls of your cunt from behind.

He slid into you in one swift thrust, lips close at your ear.

“Now, you take him into that beautiful little mouth, baby girl…” His hands gripped your waist.

“And you make him cum.” He growled.

You took Cardo’s cock into your mouth and hollowed your cheeks immediately, lavishing attention on his poor blue balls. Cardo’s eyes rolled back in his head, hips twitching under your ministrations. Kylo pumped into you at a blinding rate, even Kuruk was impressed as he met his climax near you and his cum landed in ribbons across your back. Panting from the exertion, Kylo nodded towards someone’s discarded shirt.

“Clean it up.” He panted briefly.

Once Kuruk had wiped his cum off your back, you lifted your head from Cardo’s cock, gulping down heavy breaths and stroking him with both hands while Kylo’s pace helped keep your momentum. You shot Kylo a grin over your shoulder, knowing you were both close and you had Cardo exactly where you wanted him – able to set him off at any moment. Kylo laughed, nodding to what you were asking with your mind. You grinned.

“Vicrul.” You called out, kitten licking the tip of Cardo’s prick to hear him moan.

Vic’s head popped around Kylo’s figure like a meerkat.

“Yes, Lady Ren?” He asked hopefully, extra polite.

You snickered, making eye contact with Cardo.

“Come here.”

Ushar laughed, being the only other knight not to have met his climax yet, as he watched Vicrul scramble over to you before practically falling to his knees at your side.

“At your service, Lady Ren.” He bowed his head, dramatic but genuine.

You kitten licked Cardo once more, his whine music to your ears.

“I think I deserve to cum. Don’t you?” You panted at him, taking his brother’s cock between your lips mere inches from his face.

Vicrul gulped, eyes locked with yours. 

That was the final straw for Ushar, who emptied himself into his hand.

“Yes.” Vicrul nodded.

You groaned as Kylo hit that perfect spot, ready to assist.

“Yes, _what_?” You growled, baring your teeth at your knight.

“Yes, Lady Ren!” Vicrul scooted closer to you, begging you with his eyes to be of some assistance.

You nodded slowly, taking a deep breath before wiggling your hips to invite him closer. You circled your mouth around Cardo again. Vicrul’s hand was a blur as it ducked between your thighs to pinch and rub tiny, quick circles over your clit. You moaned around Cardo’s cock, sending vibrating all the way up his spine, which jellified from the shock. He was so close, teetering on the edge. So was Kylo, his rhythm loosing pace behind you. You made them wait for you as Vicrul quickly got you up to speed. At the last second, Kylo’s hips smacking your ass hard enough to bruise and Cardo just a hair away from blowing, Kylo smacked Vicrul’s hand away to claim your climax for himself, applying the perfect pressure to the stiff hood and you came undone around him.

Your lips hit the base of Cardo’s shaft, the head of his cock sliding deep into your throat as he spilled thick spurts of cum into you. You swallowed it down gratefully. And Kylo fucked you diligently through your orgasm, biting his lip until it bled. And when you’d finished Cardo off and he slumped back with closed eyes against the booth, you turned to lock eyes with Kylo, clenching your cunt around his shaft and he slammed home to empty himself into your heat. Your jaw dropped open, eyes rolled back and a bit of drool dribble down your chin to wet a trail down your throat and breasts. Vicrul leaned forward to lick the combination of your spit and sweat from your neck and lips and swallowed it down.

Kylo had Ushar hand him his cloak and wrapped you securely in the fabric before cuddling you at the corner of the booth while the knights silently oscillated to put the room back in sorts. Kylo instructed them, at your behest, to try their best to put the marble table back together. Vicrul shuffled awkwardly for a while, his blue balls sore and chaffed in his trousers. Cardo had passed him at one point, pointing to Vic's abdomen and said: “What’s that?” Vicrul look down at himself, confused and concerned, and Cardo swiftly delivered a blow to the center of his abdomen. Vicrul’s grunt caught everyone’s attention, even your sleepy head perked up to look over at the brothers.

“Don’t _ever_ come between me and a blowjob again.” Cardo muttered as he walked away.

Everyone laughed hysterically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I take it too far? Yes. Do I give a single snip-tiddly-tiddle-of a fuck? NOPE.


	23. JUST AN UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JUST AN UPDATE - PLEASE DON'T HURT ME  
> ...  
> But also, PLEASE READ. VERRY IMPORTANT.

Good day, lovely humans!

TODAY, November 19th, is Adam's 37th birthday!

And today I have TWO birthday presents for my Designated Daddy Driver:

1.) I will not be posting a new chapter today. Because, wherever he is - if he's aware of Ao3/Wattpad or not - he would hate this shit. So out of respect (always have mad respect for our man) I will not be posting SMUT on his birthday. 

2.) MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT:  
For every comment I receive on this update today, I will be donating $5 to AITAF. That's right. Every comment = $5. I saved up for two paychecks in preparation of this, so I'm not joking! (How sad would it be if not a single person commented? Lol, so sad.)

Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up. The next chapter is still being edited, apparently I can't spell for shit. I wonder how I even make it through these updates.

Answer: with near perfect spelling, but a slew of grammatical errors.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Adam Driver!  
I hope he has a relaxing day without a single thought of all of us who make his existence painfully awkward.


	24. In Morning Light

The following morning was as disorienting as they come. The night before, while unforgettable, was also hazy. Somewhere along the way, Cardo's responsibility to ply you with equal parts food and alcohol must have faltered, because here you were - hungover. Certainly hungover, you gathered while squinting in the morning sunlight of a tussled Canto Bight hotel room bed, accompanied by a raging headache. Perhaps any other day you would have appreciated the natural light, but today was not one of them. In an attempt to roll out of bed in search of water, your stomach washed and rolled with you, sending dizzying nausea to wrack through you like poison. Your feet hit the floor and you immediately darted for the restroom, where you promptly emptied the contents of your stomach.

Somewhere in the room behind you, you could sense Kylo stirring. Not wanting him to see you in this state, your eyes quickly scanned the wall for a panel to close the door. The light proving to be too much, you screwed your eyes shut once more and blindly palmed the wall to your right. Your back arched, skin prickled, headache splitting as you lurched toward the commode again. You could discern light footsteps, Kylo's bare feet, padding against the carpeted hotel room floors; and then the slightly stickier sound as his feet crossed over onto the cold bathroom tile.

"Are you okay?" His name fell off your lips with care, gentle fingertips ghosting patterns down your bare spine.

You realized, then, you were nude. You tucked your feet up under your bare ass and swung an arm over your breasts as you curled over the toilet, a last-ditch effort to protect some of your dignity. Kylo, of course, could not care less. You were a goddess in the early morning sunlight, even sick, and he couldn't help but reach over to soothe your gooseflesh under his hands. Nor could he help himself from tucking his arms under you, despite your faint grumblings of protest, to relocate you to the bedroom. As he sat you cautiously on a bench by the window, you held your head in your hands, giving up the futile battle for your dignity.

A brief glance out at the sunny cityscape had left you regretfully dizzy, but from the looks of the sun-soaked city streets, it reminded you of home.

"I might.." You hesitated, pale features blushing bright pink while you kept your eyes fixed on the ground. "I might get sick again." You admitted weakly.

Kylo smiled knowingly, squatting to meet your eyeline. This was the first moment you'd looked at him all morning. He was beautiful, glowing in the warmth of the sunlight, his hazel eyes much more green than you'd ever seen them. You wondered, somewhere in the back of your mind, where he'd grown up - where _he_ called home. You wondered if he'd grown up basking in the sunlight of some bright and cheerful planet with more than one resident g type main sequence star. You wondered _who_ he’d grown up with – who, in all the infinite galaxies had seen the greener side of his hazel eyes. Your hand grasped his, eyes turning a little misty as you dreamt up a past you'd never heard of.

You remembered Kylo mentioning his mother to you days prior, mind wandering back to how strange it had felt to be privy to that information. You were scared to have the knowledge. You had felt like an invader, intrusive, like you weren't meant to hear it, but a larger part of you wanted to know these things and be burdened with the knowledge of his past. With the knowledge of a younger, innocent, and less determined Kylo Ren. You were pulled back to the present by a humored huff escaping Kylo's plush lips. Lips that were puffy and pink from sleep.

"I shouldn't think so." He mused, occupying his attention and gaze with a strand of your hair between his fingers.

"I've got Vicrul bringing you a hangover fix." He smiled casually.

The mention of his knight had you feeling much less than casual. Vicrul. The knights. The night before came rushing back to you, never truly forgotten, but the memories had stayed safely at bay until you could hurl the sin away from your insides first. Of course, you couldn't erase the events of the night before from your mind, if only it were that easy. Kylo watched you innocently, hearing your unguarded mind flit from thing to thing, waiting to hear the regret and shame which you surely felt. He, himself, had lain awake all morning in contemplation of how to address the night as well. His nerves softened when he failed to detect any regret, only small waves of shame, dulled by tremors of sinful delight.

You'd realized then, after coming to a firm decision that you couldn't look Cardo in the face for the rest of the trip, that Kylo was listening in. You felt for a barrier, as Ushar had taught you, but it felt too heavy to pick up and steady in place against Kylo's insistent prodding. It would be easier in both of you if you consented to being an open book, no matter how absolutely annoying it was. Kylo chuckled, then; his hand wrapping around the two of yours to envelope them in their entirety. He looked at you with something new lurking in those more-green-than-hazel eyes. Something unspoken and yet, so tangible you could reach out and grab it; something warm and affectionate and real. You had a name for it but buried it deep, not even aware than Kylo was doing the same thing on his own side, feeling the swell and choosing to kill it.

No matter how deeply it laid to rest, Kylo could hear it clawing its way up again. Like a terrible reanimated corpse, it kept digging its way back out of its grave. Unsure which of you was screaming it at the other, he could name that feeling. He knew exactly what it was that made him feel so warm inside but kept quiet with his sunlit eyes fixed on you. The two of you nearly jumped when a loud rasping knock appeared on the other end of the door. Both of you snapped back to reality, shaking that suffocating fog from your heads.

Kylo moved first, scooping you up and carrying you to the bed where he could cover you with the duvet. He tucked you in from head to toe, your chin sticking out above the billowy white sea. Himself, he snatched a fluffy robe from the wall, donning it in one fell swoop and yanking the sash tight around his waist as he reached for the door. Were your headache not trying to split your skull in half, you may have giggled at the way Kylo's enormity made the robe look much too small for his body. Kylo turned the door knob. _Oh, that's right. This hotel was rather antiquated, with traditional lock-and-key doors_. That did make you feel a little better at least; you’re inability to locate a control panel was at no fault of your inebriation, but rather a lack of a control panel being in existence. No, perhaps that was worse.

The door swung open, Kylo standing out of the way to welcome the visitor inside, and Vicrul was revealed, hair mussed and eyes droopy from sleep. He looked entirely too casual as well, given the circumstances, white tank top and sweatpants hung low around his hips. The outline of his- _gods, don't think of last night._

Vicrul handed Kylo a container of greenish-brown liquid, the color of some random nobody's hazel eyes - but not Kylo's. You stuck your tongue out as reflex, already certain that whatever this "hangover fix" was, you were not going to enjoy it. Vicrul saw you then, offering you a small half smile. Kylo smirked, pleased that you were so shy and timid this morning. Surely, the effects of the temple had worn off now. Your sure confidence and almost deranged conviction were long gone. He'd wandered when you might piece it together, but for now you had both recovered and back on track to being normal. You pulled the duvet higher over your lips as Vicrul let himself further into the safety of your room.

"Hungover, huh?" Vicrul prodded, eyes much more understanding than judgmental.

You curled your toes under the blankets, not sure how the two could be so nonchalant. Kylo came to sit on the foot of the bed, one hand reaching out to usher you to lean up and hold the drink. Clutching the duvet to your chest, Kylo’s large hand pressed to your bare back, you accepted the bottle of brackish sludge. You eyeballed it suspiciously, sniffing it as inconspicuously as you could manage. Your wide eyes watching Kylo and Vicrul discuss plans for the day, but dutifully tuning them out for the sake of your pounding headache. Eventually, while also dutifully ignoring your drink, Vicrul noticed you weren’t drinking. His intrusive Force voice tapped on your frontal lobe, sending fire sparking through your poor head.

_Drink that._

A chill went down your spine, brows furrowed, and you pouted angrily at him. Defiantly you scrunched your nose at the bottle in your hands and cozied up to Kylo’s side, hopeful you could flirt your way out of it. Vicrul rolled his eyes, catching Kylo’s attention. Suddenly both sets of eyes were on you, no words said but the directive clear.

“Fine, fine!” You whined as you raised the bottle to your lips.

~Cardo’s POV~

Her.

Her little sounds.

The way her eyes would capture him and freeze the blood in his veins like ice.

Cardo had been tossing and turning all night, caught between bouts of restlessness and an insistent dream-state, neither of which were very kind to him. In his dreams, you’d come and gone all night long. Not, for posterity’s sake, that there’d been much of a night to dream through; the knights hadn’t rolled their way into the hotel until well after four in the morning on Canto Bight time. And for Cardo and Trudgen specifically, having been given sentry duty during their trip to the planet, they had been operating on no sleep until after Petral’s.

Oh, Petral’s. The nightclub had always been good to him and his brothers, and last night had been no different. Perhaps, if nothing else, it had been _too_ good to him. If his actions weren’t enough to give him trouble today, then the dreams he’d had all night certainly would be. Cardo found himself mindlessly clutching pillows in absence of a warm body, mumbling the words “lady” and “Ren” between muffled pleas and wanton moans. He was lucky he’d roomed with Vicrul and not the other knights, at the very least his own blood brother might not be so quick to throw him to Kylo’s mercy.

Cardo woke to sickening sunshine, finally light enough out to justify abandoning the return to sleep – the constant revisiting of your image in his mind. He pulled himself from the tangle of sweat soaked sheets, blood pounding against his skull. Holding his head in his hands, he screwed knuckles into his eyes and hunched over the edge of the bed. Vicrul stuck his head out of the restroom, hearing the bed creak under Cardo’s weight. Vicrul wasn’t looking in top shape either, despite not having torturous dreams all night long, the alcohol still took its toll.

The two brothers sat in silence for a few minutes. Cardo, swimming in dizzying nausea, and Vicrul, quietly tasting Cardo’s chaotic waves of thought. Vicrul could make out enough to get a gist of what was going on, shaking his head to himself before hearing his data pad buzz from under a mountain of discarded blankets near his bed. Cardo groaned at the faintest sound lingering in the air, brows knit tight over his eyes as he looked over to his brother.

“Kylo wants the brother’s to be ready in half an hour.” Vicrul explained, pulling on some sweatpants over his boxers.

Cardo watched in silence as Vicrul searched for his boots.

“Where are you going?” He grumbled, head splitting at the sound of his own gravelly voice.

Your name fell into the air, like acid to his turmoil.

“Kylo said she’s hungover – needs juice from Nagro’s.” Vicrul eyed Cardo from across the room, noticing how he grimaced at the mention of her name.

Vicrul tied his laces, looking away to afford his younger brother some shred of indifference.

“You look like you could use one too, I’ll be back.” He said swiftly before ducking out the door.

Cardo groaned, falling back into the sheets.

Reader:

After you had victoriously downed the juice, Vicrul had ducked back out to deliver more to some of the other knights. You tried not to let your thoughts wander to them, though you were curious to know which of them were suffering along with you this morning. Curious if any of them would be awkward or regretful... Curious if you’d ever be able to maintain the same easy friendship with -

"The knights are fine.” Kylo interrupted your train of thought.

“This wouldn't have been the first time they've seen each other in an indecent situation." Kylo's fingertips ghosted down your bare spine, a small smirk spreading across the right side of his face.

Your eyes darted to him, hearing the implication in his voice, jealousy bubbling in your chest.

He snickered. "I've never taken part before."

His assurance was enough to make you smile, but the worry that you had acted out of line still darkened your thoughts. Kylo heard this, could sense the storm brewing. He knew he would have to say something soon, anything, to ease your troubled mind; but his mouth felt dry, nothing seemed like the right thing to say - perhaps honesty was the best way to go.

"That won't happen again." He said quietly, eyes soft on your fragile clavicle.

You looked to him, throat thick and unable to swallow the fear which swelled it shut. You knew you'd done something wrong.

"No, I allowed it. It was fun… for a one-time thing." Kylo corrected, easing your anxieties.

He’d heard his knights all night, could see you in each of their dreams, but there was one who saw you differently. He’d anticipated their excitement, their willingness – but nothing close to infatuation. Somehow he’d convinced himself that their oaths to him would prevent any attachments to you. It would be shut down immediately, and _you_ would remain none the wiser. He'd handle it - today. You questioned him with your eyes, watching him lose himself in thought for a moment. He snapped away, eyes finding yours once more.

"What, baby girl?" Kylo asked, sensing the delicate walls coming up in your mind.

They would be nothing to break, but it would hurt you. Considerably, with the added headache.

"Why did we do it? Why did we allow it to happen if we’d regret it today?" Your voice was smaller than usual, reminiscent of the obedient pilot you'd been not so long ago - not the knight of Ren you had become.

You were ashamed of it, and Kylo damn near broke a smile with how beautiful that shame seemed to him.

“Firstly,” He said sternly, straightening his spine. “I don’t regret it – do _you_ regret it?”

His hands were gripping your shoulders carefully, but firmly. His concern was heartwarming, igniting a small fire between your noticeably sore thighs.

“No.” You shook your head, placing a hand over his sincerely.

“But it seemed… out of character…” Your sentence trailed off. How were you going to finish that? _For you? For me?_ Both seemed true.

"The knights needed to trust you. They needed... a personal drive to protect you." He explained.

You watched him quietly, hand still over his, your thumb tracing soothing circles into his skin.

“And the control is nice… I can always control them, even when I can’t control you.”

You were confused for a few moments, the cloud of alcohol difficult to sort through.

" _Oh_." You squeaked once you'd wrapped your head around it.

"Yes… but I promise it won't happen again." Kylo's lips were at your ear, your neck, filling you with a warmth you'd only known to come from him.

You were relieved. You agreed with him. It _was_ fun. F _or a one-time thing._

After your small discussion, Kylo diligently poured over you – assurances of how beautiful and strong and sexy you’d been the night prior inflated your ego beyond recognition. Once you’d been thoroughly complimented and worshipped, not to be overlooked: how many kisses Kylo bestowed on your bare shoulders and back, he’d patted your bare bottom whilst you stood to go take a shower.

Over the roar of water against tile, he called to you across a sea of steam. You giggled as he narrowly escaped a jet of water when he popped his head in to get a look at you.

“Right. Well, we’re headed off. I’ll leave you with Vic and Trudgen.” He ran a dry hand through his hair, making sure he’d not gotten it wet.

Your eyes felt as if they might bug right out of your head. Oh, of course, it would be the two knights you’d gone out of your way to humiliate the night prior. Certainly they’d make you pay for it today. You groaned, covering your face with your hands. Kylo reached in, dragged your hands away from your face and kissed your palms. With a distracted glance over his shoulder, he dropped your hands and stepped out. You could hear faint mumbling on the other side of the wall, sensing multiple Force signatures.

By the time you’d wrapped up your shower, wrapping a fluffy towel over you and tucking it under your arms, you could hear the soft voices of Vicrul and Trudgen in the room beyond the bathroom door. Grabbing a robe from the back of the door, you tucked yourself away inside it. Once snug and well hidden, you took a deep breath, held your head high, and exited the restroom.

Sure enough, Vicrul was situated comfortably on your bed and Trudgen was pacing in front of the large windows overlooking Canto Bight. Your stomach flipped a bit, but you kept your head high. You weren’t entirely sure if you had any control over them today, unsure if Kylo’s orders that they listen to you extended into every day life. Vicrul brightened up, shifting against the mattress to face you, while Trudgen merely nodded in your direction before pacing again.

It was a strange mix – the two seemed completely opposite. From what you’d learned of your fellow knights, Trudgen was by far the most serious – the most obedient, unusually rigid and reserved. Almost cocky, but with an air about him that told you he had every right to be. And Vic, on the other hand, was a playboy. Classically handsome, charming, seemingly harmless but full of mischief – and Vicrul never took things seriously. These two were oil and water, and you seemed to be the agitation that got them to mix.

Vicrul smiled at you, not in any condescending way, but enough to make you wary as you tried to pick out clothing from the drawers. You’d almost gathered a full outfit into your arms when Trudgen spoke up, having turned to see you just in time.

“No, no. We’re training today – Kylo laid out some training gear for you… somewhere.” Trudgen looked around the room.

Vicrul shifted, seeing that he’d accidentally laid on them and smiled sheepishly at his fellow knight. “Whoops.” He breathed through a silent laugh.

You stepped forward to collect them, walls high up in your mind, hesitantly reaching toward the clothing on the bed. Vicrul’s brows drew together, watching you with obvious concern. You snatched up the clothing, catching the two knights give each other some look before you turned back into the restroom and shut the door. You hesitated a moment before turning the lock, too.

You dressed pretty quickly, the gear was light – probably hand-to-hand training. You pulled your wet hair back into a sleek high bun, keeping it out of your face. You didn’t hear a single noise escape the room while you finished getting ready, leaving you completely unprepared for both sets of eyes on you when you’d opened the bathroom door. Vicrul and Trudgen stood, blocking the door, both had crossed their arms tightly in front of their chests and were looking directly down at you.

You cleared your throat. “What?”

Vicrul softened first, looking to Trudgen who didn’t move a muscle.

“What’s wrong?” Vicrul asked, eyes concerned but body language still indicating defense.

You quirked a brow at them incredulously.

“Nothing is wrong- can I leave the bathroom?” You pushed past them, ignoring the awkward way your body needed to slide past them.

Trudgen, again, didn’t move; but you made your way past Vicrul easily. The two looked at each other again before Vicrul followed you into the room, sitting next to you on the bed while you strapped your boots to your feet. You looked up at him from beneath your lashes, brows heavily drawn together.

“You’re being weird.” Vicrul said quietly.

You caught Trudgen fall out of position and resume pacing by the window. You looked up at Vicrul, lips pursed. You may have been acting weird… but it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t ready to have to see them, to have to be alone with them; you figured they’d be mad at you or at the very least judgmental. You didn’t really want to know, to be honest. You were sure you had no say over them now, no control, they were here to babysit you. You weren’t valued. You looked at Vicrul for a moment, that big puppy dog of a knight. He swallowed heavily.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked quietly.

You gaped, jaw dropping in confusion. Vicrul looked to Trudgen, who began walking your way.

“You’re still angry with us for last night.” Vicrul’s head hung from his shoulders a bit.

Head swimming, you opened your moth to interrupt. “I-“

“I’m sorry, Lady Ren.” Vicrul said sincerely, dropping to his knees off the side of the bed.

Trudgen looked aggravated, but bowed his head a little, murmuring an apology as well. Your head spun, you felt like you might be sick, your hangover was smashing back into you with accelerated velocity. You shook your head violently, standing up and ushering for Vicrul to stand, as well.

“Ew, it’s fine. It’s fine! Now _you’re_ being weird! Get up.” You cried, biting your lip.

The two knights looked confused, but relieved. You all took a collective deep breath as a group and the three of you stared at the floor. You deliberated, biting your lip, weighing the possibilities in your head. Why in space would you be mad at them? Gods, why would they even care? And why for Sith’s sake where they looking at you like you were their master?

“Lady Ren…?” Trudgen spoke, the usual harshness of his voice was nowhere to be found.

The sincerity snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Should we get to training?” He asked quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my readers, we donated $25 to Arts in the Armed Forces in honor of Adam's birthday (11.19.2020)!!! Thank you to those who commented on the last update! Thank you to those of you who have read this far! This quarantine has been long and difficult for all of us - but the creativity I see here every day is phenomenal. I'm so happy I'm not the only weirdo out here who loves this actor so much. I know this chapter is a little shaky, I'm getting to a pivotal point in the story and I'm not quite ready for it yet...


	25. Oh, My Dear Friend - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of 2  
> "Oh, my dear friend... how I've missed you." C-3PO

In the few weeks following your excursion to Canto Bight, things have fallen into a semi-regular pattern on the Finalizer. You’re sudden and strange initiation into the Knights of Ren has all but been forgotten, your father’s lack of understanding only making him more and more frustrated as he struggles to come to terms while staying stationed on StarKiller. In the first few days following your return to the Finalizer, he’d attempted to contact you ceaselessly until word came, via Snoke, that his fatherly instincts should not interfere with your training. Eventually, however, you knew you would need to face him. Answers would need to be given, when the time came.

Outside of your tense relationship with the General, it seemed your other relationships had followed suit. After returning from their meeting with the spy, both Kylo and Cardo were noticeably more reserved than usual. In fact, once back to the Finalizer, you barely had seen or heard from either of them for a solid week. Your days were long, spent primarily with Ap’lek, or Vicrul and Ushar (always as a pair) – endlessly training and even the occasional more-relaxed meetings. Eventually, some normalcy returned when the second week came about. The other knights: Trudgen, Kuruk, and Cardo reintegrated into your training sessions, having before, been swept away by Kylo for whatever reason.

But one morning, all the knights arrived to training, followed shortly by Kylo returning as well. Kylo was significantly more focused than usual, more machine than man, training constantly with very little personal time. Kylo was, unfortunately, right about the abundance of cameras guarding the Finalizer, and the two of you were forced to spend quite a lot of time apart for those first few weeks. He’d assured you, one day after training, that all would return to normal when you returned home to StarKiller. And honestly, you couldn’t wait. Those weeks without him followed by the few weeks after where he was close enough but still so far – were torture. White hot torture.

Your relationships among the other knights were becoming stronger: less haphazard, and slightly more plutonic. All except for two exceptions – Kuruk and yourself remained… less than friendly, and Cardo… always friendly, unreasonably charming, but, for whatever reason, obviously avoiding you. Of course, you had expected a certain amount of awkwardness from all of the knights after your night together on Canto Bight, but by this point, all of the other knights had completely returned to normal behavior except for Cardo. You feared he hated you or regretted the things that had transpired, but you wouldn’t know for certain because he skirted you every time you tried to talk to him. Kylo shrugged your concern off, told you not to concern yourself with it. And Vicrul, upon being asked for advice, recommended you give him a little space.

But _what the fuck for?!_ Perhaps you would never know. You did as advised, gave him space and, for Kylo’s sake, tried not to concern yourself with it. A very brief conversation with Ushar put your mind at ease, if only all the knights were as wise as him.

_You’d just finished up training for the day, the first day all the knights were back. Cardo hadn’t even done so much as grunt in your direction, and at the conclusion of the training session, he’d sprinted from the room without a glance at anyone but Kylo; and even then, it seemed to be only waiting for an indication he could leave. You’d been just about to mention a nearby planet you’d wanted to take a day excursion to. Ap’lek was ready to have your back with the pitch, ready to claim that the planet’s dense rock would make for a good manipulation and levitation lesson, but Cardo was gone before you had a full sentence out. In his wake, Kylo approved the day trip – excluding himself and Cardo._

_Your fellow knights didn’t seem to question it, but you did, and you’d paid for it later behind closed doors. Kylo had become more withdrawn, less attentive, since he’d been back to the Finalizer. You had convinced yourself that your actions in Canto Bight had a lasting effect on your arrangement. Not, you had to remind yourself, that it was ever anything more than that in the first place. Most days, you didn’t let it get to you, but the days weren’t what concerned you. It was the nights. The lonely nights._

_Ushar had been posted on sentry outside your newly assigned quarters (closer to Kylo than you were originally stationed, but still not in the same section of the ship) and apparently your thoughts had been very loud that evening. He saw it fit to waltz right into your living space._

_“You’re very loud.” Your name fell from his exhausted mouth._

_You noticed then that the knights had not been referring to you as ‘Lady Ren’ for some time now, not since Canto Bight. You gathered you must have lost the title around the same time Cardo lost respect for you and Kylo lost interest in you._

_“Ouch. Hard on yourself tonight, huh?” He shook his head, sitting down on your couch._

_Clearly your guards were down, you had no energy to keep them up; the knights kept you impossibly exhausted with constant training and Kuruk was hard on you while teaching you to fly the Night Buzzard. And of course, any time Kylo would leave the ship, you were his personal transport in doing so. It was strange and almost demeaning, once treated as an equal and now only to be treated as a wanna-be Knight of Ren and a pet pilot. Yes, you were admittedly quite down on yourself that night._

_“Fuck, it just gets worse – you’re spiraling.” Ushar chuckled nervously, more truth in what he said than he’d known at first._

_“Okay, stop!” You cried, throwing your hands in front of your face._

_You must have been red with the embarrassment._

_Ushar was quiet a moment, mulling the words around carefully. He certainly didn’t want to add to your pain. You waited quietly, no energy left to ask him to pick up the pace or leave all together. You just waited, happy to have his company without him waiting outside on sentry duty stoic and silent, like Kuruk or Trudgen took the task. At least he wanted to come inside and speak to you._

_“Don’t worry about the way things are… at the moment.” He said through furrowed brows and a tightly set jaw._

_Your own brows drew together at his ambiguity. He took a moment to clear his throat._

_“It’s temporary. It’s,” A long pause. Ushar thought hard while you hung on for that last word. He sighed heavily, clearly giving up some small fight to be vague. “It’s pretense. It will pass.”_

_You didn’t understand completely, you weren’t even sure you understood after, but that conversation gave you some small shred of hope._

Thankfully, only a few days after your conversation with the wise Ushar, a little ray of light arrived to cheer up your day. Kylo arrived to training _himself_ letting you know that you were all dismissed early for the day. Some knights groaned, some rallied and rejoiced, Cardo simply strode from the room. It didn’t bother you so much today as it might have another, because Kylo was pulling you to the side of the room by your arm, waiting for his knights to disperse before speaking with you privately.

The most you’d gotten from him in weeks.

“I’ve missed you.” He admitted quietly.

Was it pride or anger that kept you from leaping into his arms and repeating the same to him? Or was it simply how unused to his touch on your arm you had become?

“You’ve been busy.” You said apathetically. _Nice one._

“Yes.” He said quietly, eyes hidden behind that damnable helmet.

The pair of you were silent for a few moments while you waited anxiously for him to speak.

“We’re returning to StarKiller tomorrow afternoon.” He said as matter of fact.

You perked up significantly. His hand slid from its hold on your elbow to your hand, he held it for a moment and squeezed before adding, thoughtfully:

“Things can go back to the way they were.”

It was almost too quiet, too soft that the helmet’s modulator didn’t quite filter it. But your heart took off with the implications of that simple sentence.

Voice barely above a whisper, you responded.

“Well… I better go get packed.”

He cocked his head at you, as if he were considering you for a moment, before responding.

“Get some lunch first. Until tomorrow.” He squeezed your hand once more for good measure before departing from the training room.

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself in the empty room.

The cafeteria was significantly more crowded than you’d ever seen it, of course you weren’t usually dismissed from training until about an hour before lights out. Now, in the middle of lunch, you sat among a few of your fellow knights while you scarfed down a meal of roasted porg and some purple vegetation you’d had before on StarKiller. Though you didn’t remember enjoying it too much, you did give an enthusiastic go. Since spreading the new to Vicrul and Ushar that you would be departing in the morning, all the knights could tell how improved your mood was. Ushar was happy for you, keeping that thought to himself while he devoured his porg.

Halfway through your meal you were approached by a familiar face, one you’d almost forgotten to be annoyed by. Kent Bailey. He moseyed on up to your table, eyeing your table mates in doing so, but apparently not recognizing them out of their characteristic uniform of helmets and heavy armor. You half grimaced – half grinned at him when he’d reached your side, open arms asking for a hug. One which you were in too good of a mood to deny. Vicrul and Trudgen straightened up, eyes trained on the man who’d approached the table and hugged you without more than a small ‘hello’ in doing so.

High alert today, for some reason.

You heard Kent saying your name close to your ear while you pulled away.

“How are you?” He exclaimed, sitting back on the bench next to you without looking back at Ap’lek, who nearly got sat on in the process.

You muffled a laugh at the way Ap’lek looked him up and down, food still hanging from his gaping mouth.

“Where have you been? How is it that I arrived weeks ago, and this is the first time I’ve seen you?” He rested an elbow on the table, earning another grumble from Ap’lek who snatched his plate out of the way in time.

Kent turned and offered a quiet apology, finally noticing how _in the way_ he was. He took another brief moment to realize how all eyes at the table were on him, all the knights were staring him down, clearly unsure who he was. Vicrul shifted a little closer to you, protectively. Kent raised a brow at him.

“Who are your friends?” He whispered to you.

You chuckled, feeling Kuruk’s uneasiness being referred to as your friend.

“These are the Knights of Ren.” You answered casually, forking a chunk of meat before raising it to your mouth.

Kent’s eyes went wide, and you could feel him turning more and more uncomfortable. He figured things would be safe since he hadn’t seen the Commander hanging around, but now he realized he’d walked right into the middle of a wolf den – surrounded by Kylo’s dogs.

And what bode even worse for him was the fact that all of you could hear that thought cross his mind. You patted Kent on his back, trying to break the tension you sensed in the other knights, and shot a nasty look at Vicrul who’d let his hand rest menacingly on his scythe.

“I’ve been so busy training, I hardly ever get to eat in the cafeteria. How are you liking your new position?” You asked your fellow officer. Well, you supposed he might actually be your superior now.

He shook the surprise from his head and turned back to you in order to answer your question. The two of you maintained safe conversation for a few minutes as you listed to him describe the nuances of his new assignment. Soon he ran out of steam and, before you could think of another question to ask, he was already asking you the one thing you didn’t want to discuss yet.

“So, what have you been up to? You said the Commander still has you training? That’s odd.” You pretended to finish chewing your food, thinking of ways around the simple truth.

He evidently didn’t like the moment of silence and, instead, filled it with more prying questions.

“Why haven’t I seen you in the hangar? Are you still piloting the shuttle? And when did you start hanging out with… _savages?_ ”

You could have seriously done without that last bit. Vicrul snarled, lunging over the table with claws extended towards the officer. Your own hand reached out to smack his from the air. Vic responded not unlike a scolded puppy, eyes warily flitting between yourself and officer Bailey. Kent attempted to stand, but Ap’lek fisted the front of his collar and yanked him back down.

“No need to go just yet,” Ap’lek mumbled through a mouthful of food. “You wanna talk to our lady, you’re more than welcome. We’ll forgive it… _this time._ ”

There went Ap’lek, keeping the peace. You were proud to call him a comrade, smiling over at him behind Kent’s back. Your group listened to the officer’s mind whirl, question after question piled up in his oversensitive brain. You were quiet while he processed, not wanting to share any information you weren’t asked for. Finally he seemed to make sense of things, his mind recalling what Ap’lek had just called you. You almost audibly groaned at the realization.

“ _Lady?_ ” Kent asked incredulously, eyes trying to meet yours.

You kept your gaze on your plate.

“I’m a Knight of Ren.” You answered curtly, stabbing another piece of porg onto your fork before popping it into your mouth.

Everything was silent for a few minutes, you did your best not to listen to the confusion in Kent’s mind, and then all at once he left. Striding away from your table hastily. You sighed, happy to be done with the conversation. Ushar stood and joined your side of the table, sitting where Kent had just abandoned.

“You good?” He asked, eyes regarding your sincerely.

You chortled. “Yeah, I don’t really like that guy anyway.”

The rest of the knights laughed.

You assured the Vicrul and Ushar that you didn’t need any help packing, pleased to be shown so much attention and care. It had been the most friendly any of them had been for weeks now and you weren’t ashamed to say that you had missed it. As you took off down the hall, you were nearly skipping. Your friends were back to normal, you’d be back on planet soon and out of the dreadfully dark space, and Kylo had assured you things would return to normal upon your arrival. You’re mood was apparently too perfect – something would need to spoil it soon.

And something did just that.

As you neared your quarters, you heard your name from behind you. You ignored it at first, unsure if it was even your name. It couldn’t have been, it was too unfamiliar, too foreign, too… feminine. Your name was called again, this time louder, and you realized that voice was, in fact, all too _familiar._ Your head spun around so fast you worried you may have snapped your own neck, your feet froze solid against the floor, and your narrowed eyes scanned for the source of your name. Then, there she was.

“Bethza?” You asked.

She was even more put together than she’d been in flight school. A long-time family friend, and frenemy. She stood tall, easily a half foot taller than you, and her uniform hugged her thin legs like they’d been tailored perfectly to fit the lengthy sticks. As she strode closer to you, her high cheek bones and piercing light eyes seemed dangerously sharp under the overhead lights of the hall. Her hair was pulled back tightly into a high bun, she was the picture of hell with a cocky smile pinned to her lips.

She said your name again, venom and bile laced in her lipstick.

“I can’t _believe_ you’re here!” Her voice was like acid, but beautifully so; you cringed.

“I thought you’d been stationed… _oh, somewhere_! I couldn’t remember.” She feigned ignorance.

Not a good look on her, you thought; you were all too aware she knew exactly where you’d been stationed. Calculated bitch.

“StarKiller, yes. Unfortunately, there was an assignment I was asked to see to here, temporarily, of course.” You tried to lace your voice with the same acrid tone she’d perfected, but it was of no use. She barely flinched.

“Oh, I see.” She looked you up and down.

“Well, we must catch up. How long are you here?”

You grinned. “Actually, we leave in the morning for home. Sorry about that.”

She smirked back at you.

“Oh, perfect! No worries, I’m actually looking at a position on StarKiller as well. My brother is helping me get it. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” She had started to turn away, but damn yourself if you couldn’t help it.

“ _Your brother?_ ” You nearly choked.

She turned back with a wicked grin.

“Yeah! Sev just accepted the lead engineer position. Your dad helped him land it. Isn’t that sweet?”

You felt like you might vomit, too much information all at once. You managed a small smile, completely ingenuine but weak enough not to appear as condescending as you’d hoped.

“Great, hope to see you soon, Beth.” You turned and strode toward your quarters.

“See us _both_ , you mean.” She corrected. “See you soon, friend!”

You wanted to get the fuck off this heap of metal, _now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter took an eternity to post - and even more sorry it's only a half chapter! 2020 wrapping up has proved to be crazy, hopefully I'll have more time to write soon. Until then, I hope this ties everyone over for a little while. I've been keeping myself distracted with @WormGirl's updates on Wattpad recently, and damn she's just so good it makes me feel so inferior. I did promise to finish this fic though, so no worries. It may take longer, but I will write an ending. As always, please comment - I love hearing your feedback! Thank you for reading this far :)


	26. Oh, My Dear Friend - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 2  
> "Oh, my dear friend... how I've missed you." C-3PO

****Kylo’s Perspective****

Distance was something Kylo knew well. He’d mastered it in his youth, against his will. Distance was something he’d grown used to over the years, whether it was the fear of his inferiors or the jealousy of his peers, Kylo had grown used to being alone. Distance was something he knew well, but it seemed he struggled to distance himself from you. The past few weeks had been torture for him. Yes, the cameras on the Finalizer were in fact a very real threat to the discretion of your "relationship," but something Kylo could have easily navigated around, should he have chosen to do so.

No, he had more pressing issues to attend to. The Supreme Leader had ordered Kylo to train a successor among his knights, and despite their recent predicament – Cardo was the natural choice. Though, and perhaps quite childish of Kylo, he’d considered Trudgen and Kuruk as valid candidates also. Tensions were high, the knights didn’t know what they were being evaluated for, and Kylo was growing weary of Snoke’s near constant insistence that _you_ be considered as a successor, as well.

Along with distance, Kylo also knew pride. Despite how far you’d progressed (and in such a short time), and despite your loyalty to the First Order, and despite Snoke’s approval, and _despite_ Kylo’s personal feelings towards you – he was absolutely reluctant to consider you as an equal. On the one hand, he was jealous that Snoke seemed to have taken to you so quickly. On the other, to name you an equal would constitute more than he had been willing to admit from day one. If you were to be his equal, then he would have no excuse not to name that _feeling_ for you.

_That feeling he kept buried inside._

So, no. You were his subordinate, his pilot, his knight; and you would remain as such. Kylo distanced himself to gain clarity, to assure himself that you were nothing more than those aforementioned things. You were not an equal to be considered, not a potential successor or partner, you were a subordinate… his submissive. And though he found comfort in that given title over the last few weeks, he found himself craving the company of his submissive. This distance may have been created to kill those pesky feelings, but it seemed that it had fostered them instead.

Kylo was laying in his standard issue Finalizer bed, head resting off the edge so he could see the room upside down, when a brisk knock graced his quarter’s door. He waved a hand, Force opening the hatch so that he might continue to wallow without moving, and his world turned upside down again as he watched you walk through the blast doors. Brows pinched together, he rolled to his stomach to look at your face. Your eyes were red, cheeks flushed, lips pursed in an unhappy way – you looked positively seething and _so damn beautiful_.

He kicked himself for that last thought as he cleared his throat and maneuvered to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He allowed himself a brief preliminary glance into your tangled web of thoughts just enough to see that you weren’t angry with him. Sighing in relief, his eyes met yours as you came to a halt at the foot of the bed.

“Who’s gotten you so upset?” Kylo asked, the ghost of a smile hiding at the corner of his lips.

You scoffed.

“You sure you don’t want to take a deeper dive and find out for yourself?” You asked, nose wrinkling at him in disgust.

Ah, so you’d noticed his not-so-discreet peek into your head. You were getting much stronger than he had realized.

Defiant, he brushed you off.

“If you don’t want me in, don’t let me in.” He shrugged, seeming bored.

He hid that bubbling guilt very well. He didn’t like upsetting you. _Weak._

You huffed through your nose, arms crossing over your chest. He surmised another quick peek would confirm his suspicion that you’d just put up your walls.

He mimicked your body language, arms crossing, somewhat ecstatic that the tension between the two of you took a pleasant turn from sexual to angry. That was a welcome change. Swallowing hard, he narrowed his eyes on you.

“So?” He tried to sound less curious and more annoyed, but he could tell from the way your shoulders lost a little of their square and your head dropping against your shoulders – you were already tired of the pretense.

“So…” You drawled out, resting your back against the wall next to his bed.

“I need some information.” Your eyes found his, hard and angry.

Kylo didn’t like the lump that immediately jumped into his throat at the way your icy tone and fiery eyes landed on him.

_If looks could kill._

“Really?” He asked, able to reign in the surprise from coming out in his voice.

“And what information do you need from me?” His irritation could not have been more believable, because he was – irritated.

You found the courage to come to his room, damn near lights out, the night before you were scheduled to go home – and for what? Information? He’d hoped that the distance would kill any feelings from either direction, but for the love of gods, not the sex. And now, sitting on his bed with your eyes set on him like they were, you had the audacity to need him for information?

“Bethza Ketsion. Is she up for a position on StarKiller?”

His brows knit together again. The name _was_ familiar, but why would you care?

“I’m – I don’t know.” Kylo looked you up and down like you’d just sprouted six arms and a tail.

“What – Why did you think I would know that?” He almost chuckled, briefly considering if you thought he personally hired anyone as Commander.

You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t think you’d _know,_ but I do know that you can _find out._ ”

You crossed your arms again, lips pouting just slightly as you looked up at him from under your lashes. If only you knew the effect that had on him.

“I suppose I _can._ ” He lifted himself off the bed, striding toward you slowly.

You could feel him cornering you and stood your ground.

“Why do you want to know?” His voice was soft, he was curious.

“You could say we’re old friends.” You shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

He could tell that wasn’t the half of it. He eyed you, letting his gaze wander lower and lower until you could feel the heat as he stared holes into you. You looked up at him, catching the briefest parting of his lips as he appraised your rising and falling chest. You couldn’t deny the tension between you now, you wanted it, but until you knew about Bethza you weren’t sure you’d be able to stomach anything else.

He watched your eyes bore into his own, silent understanding between the two of you. He quietly stalked towards the desk and the data pad housed there, his fingers floating over the touchscreen. You waited quietly, eyes shutting as you dreaded his reply. After a short time, he spoke.

“Bethza G. Ketsion. Yes, she’s in preliminary interview processing.”

You exhaled a shaky breath.

“Where? What position? Does it say anything about recommendations?”

Kylo tried to ignore the snap in your tone, his eyes scanning the information in front of him.

“Recommended by… Sevier T. Ketsion.” He looked up at you. “Related, I’m guessing?”

You nodded slowly, wanting to steer the conversation away immediately.

He nodded, kept reading.

“and… _Armitage Hux?_ ” His eyes flickered up to you.

You groaned quietly. _Damn it Hux._

Confused, Kylo started to close the data pad.

“No!” You pleaded. “What about Sev- _Sevier_? Where is he stationed?”

Kylo’s eyes narrowed on you, hearing the way your voice shook and your eyes strained. You stared at him, pathetic and anxious. He sighed before typing some more, feeling your eyes on him the whole time.

“Sevier T. Ketsion. Recently accepted the Lead Engineer position in Hangar Bay A – StarKiller Base. Recommended by Armitage Hux.”

Your knees felt like they might give way. You slid down the wall as slowly and controlled as you could, but Kylo could see defeat written all over your face. Filled with a sudden urge to comfort you, he found his feet falling toward you before he could process it, falling to his knees in front of you.

“What’s wrong? Who are these people to you?” His voice was soft, expression pained for you.

You were quiet for a few moments, trying to make sense of the fear and fury which swirled around you, but mostly hiding all that behind your walls. Kylo could not know.

“Family friends.” You muttered.

“Bethza and I were more like rivals in school.”

Kylo watched you closely, not quite noticing how well you were controlling the emotions he could see. But just as the knights had taught you, soon your walls were high enough to suppress all those feelings entirely. You met Kylo’s eyes and smiled.

“It’s not going to be fun running into her all the time.” You said.

Kylo could tell there was something else there, something not quite matching up, but he let it go. Because your eyes were back on his, your honeyed breath was wafting into his face, and he realized all too late how close he’d positioned himself next to you. Your eyes dropped to his lips, heavy lidded and glossy, and your hand rested lightly on his wrist. The rest was a delirious fog.

Neither of you were sure who leaned forward first, whose tongue parted the other’s lips, whose shirt was the first to meet the floor. Soon, the pair of you were heated skin meeting feverishly against the cold tile. Kylo came to his senses, scooping you off the cold, hard floor and laying you gently on the bed. He crawled over you, his towering frame completely eclipsing your own, as he kissed you deeper – allowing himself to be reminded how much he’d missed it.

You were softer than he’d remembered, sweeter, and significantly more desperate. He smirked against your lips every time your hips rolled up to meet his, seeking friction from his massive thigh wedged between your legs. His teeth nipped at the thin skin over your collarbone, tongue tracing a line down your sternum as his hands dipped to pull off your panties. Your delicate hands shoved away the waistband of his lounge pants, pooling them just below his hips. He helped you out, pulling his cock free from his boxers. The moan you let loose at the sight of him was explicit, lewd and fucking beautiful. You parted your legs for him, spread wide and unashamed as your fingers pressed small circles to your clit.

Kylo’s jaw dropped open, eyes glued to your fingers working their way over the bundle of nerves just how you liked. He absorbed the movement, committed it to memory so that he might be able to replicate exactly what you like. Mindlessly, he fisted his erection in his right hand, readying it between your legs. He pushed in before either of you were ready, a mixture of breathy expletives shared between your lips.

His pace was brutal, breaking you from the start. You mewled against the sturdiness of his chest, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. He tried biting back his groans, but soon it was useless as the throaty reverberations flooded his chest. His hands roamed your sides, over the swells of your breasts, pushing the back of your thighs. Your hands wandered further up, tangling into the hair at his nape as his right hand found a home around your tender throat.

He’d been foolish to try to stay away from you, nonsensical. He couldn’t remember why he’d even tried as he thrusted into you over and over again. Why would he ever want to distance himself from _this_? You shuddered beneath him, your body’s way of telling him you were close. He swatted your tiny fingers away from your clit so that he could take over. It only took a few quick passes with his rough forefinger before you came undone around him. Soft and hot, you gushed around him. Velvety ripples clenched and rolled through you, milking him with tight, wet spasms.

“F-FUCK!” He roared, hips canting through his climax as he pumped his cum deep into you.

You cried out beneath him, feeling his warmth unnaturally deep inside you. He throbbed endlessly, spilling load after load of his hot seed into your cunt. Your sweat slicked palms slid effortlessly over his back. The two of you were quiet for a while, Kylo had rolled off of you, but his hand trailed over your chest absentmindedly. At some point, your teeth had captured your lower lip and you worried it while thinking.

“Feel better?” Kylo asked quietly, knuckles grazing your pebbled nipples in the cool air.

You broke a soft grin, rolling your eyes.

“I feel better about the distance. Not necessarily the issue I came here for, though.”

You continued to worry your lip.

Kylo rolled to his side, propping his head up on a bent elbow. He regarded you quietly until you looked over to him.

“Rivals, you say?” He clarified, going back to what you’d said earlier.

You nodded, groaning, and letting your head hit the pillow.

“Hm.” He mused.

Irritated, you tutted. “What does ‘hm’ mean?” You shot him a look from the corner of your eye.

He narrowed his eyes at you.

“You’ve got that attitude again.”

“That’s what happens when you avoid me for nearly a month. I get a little miffed at you.”

Though there was some truth in your voice, but he noticed a small grin on the corner of your lips.

“That’s not what I think.” He said vaguely, rolling onto his back, waiting for you to prod.

You sat up the very next moment.

“Oh, yeah? What do _you_ think, _Commander_?” You snapped.

He bit back a grin at your sass.

“I think I fucked the attitude out of you, and you got spoiled there for a while.” He stole a glance to see the way your jaw dropped open at his cadence.

He smirked at you.

“I think you got used to daddy fucking you every chance he had,” He drawled, hand slowly venturing toward your waist.

You attempted to swat him away, smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

“And when daddy had to work, you turned into a horny little brat.”

He pulled you into his lap and delivered a firm pat to your bare ass.

You giggled furiously.

He situated you against his chest, knowing it was unwise to allow himself to get this close to you again; he could feel the progress he’d made over the last few weeks fading away the longer your warm curves molded to him on the bed. You nestled your lips close to his neck, gently breathing in his scent. He could hear you and smiled.

“I missed you…” You grumbled quietly.

He smiled wider before coming to his senses. He couldn’t do this to himself again, go through all that pining and jealousy and that… that damn _feeling_ he didn’t dare name. He cleared his throat, patting your shoulder lightly until you afforded him some room to stand.

“I missed you too, little one.” He said quietly, almost to himself, as he searched for his pants.

You debated getting dressed too, usually he didn’t kick you out – you panicked thinking he was about to.

Once his pants were situation, slung low around his hips, he sat back down on the bed. His hand extended to you, fingers intertwining with yours. He couldn’t pull himself from you for too long; one step forward, two steps back. He sighed.

“So these people –“ He tried to change the subject. “Why are you so concerned about an old rivalry?”

You sighed, wanting to explain but wanting to keep the most important details to yourself. Thankfully, Kylo seemed to be respecting your thoughts, for now.

“We really didn’t get along in flight school. I mean, we roomed together the first year but…” You shuddered at the memories.

“She just always had to have the upper hand on me. If I got the A, then she had to get the A+. If I passed a difficult certification, she landed an internship.” You looked over to see if you’d begun to bore him, but he was watching you intently, listening.

“I know that might sound trivial, but it wore on me after a while. I know that her parents paid for those things, and my parents would never do that for me. Not that I’m complaining – I wanted to pass on my own merit.”

Kylo’s heart swelled for you, but he kept listening.

“When I started to come out ahead of the actual flight simulations and the combative aspects of our schooling, she fell behind a bit and I think she went a little fucking crazy.”

He nodded, prodding you to continue.

“That’s all, really. I haven’t seen her since school.”

Kylo chewed his bottom lip in thought.

“Hux recommender her.”

You nodded. “That’s not surprising. Their parents are close with mine, and we both know how much he loves to flaunt his authority.”

Kylo snorted, pleased with your jab at the General.

“And who is Sevier? Father?” He asked, noticing how you stiffened to hear his name.

“No, uh.” You swallowed thickly. “Her older brother.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes on you.

“And what’s the deal with him?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” You furrowed your brow intentionally.

He swallowed.

“What about him?” Kylo asked again.

“Oh, I don’t really know him.” You lied.

“Just curious how he helped her get the job.”

Kylo nodded, not exactly trusting you – but, having no reason not to, he shrugged.

“Well, don’t worry about her.” Kylo said casually, searching for his shirt in the pile of your clothes.

“Oh, can you hand me mine too?” You asked, ready to be off this topic again.

He gave you a surprised glance.

“You don’t want to stay?” He asked.

You were confused.

“Well, I figured we’ve tested our luck enough with the cameras. Last night or not.”

He shrugged, disappointed but playing it close to the vest.

_It’s for the best. Distance._

He handed you the pile of your clothes, tried to swallow back the flux of sadness while watching you prepare to leave his quarters. You dressed quickly and quietly, eyes on the task at hand with a knit brow and pursed lips.

“What else is wrong?” He asked, kicking himself for dragging this out. He just couldn’t help himself.

You looked up, surprised. Then you chewed your bottom lip nervously, debating whether or not it would even be worth bringing up.

“Tell me.” He urged sternly but soft.

You rolled your eyes.

_Attitude._

“Do you know what’s been with Cardo?” You asked slowly, wanting to take each word back as they spilled off your tongue.

Kylo raised a brow, he hadn’t realized it had even been bothering you. Of course, with the distance he’d created between himself and you – he’d ordered something of the same for Cardo. Petty? Maybe. Necessity? Probably. Kylo wasn’t really ashamed of it – if Cardo was in line to be the next successor as Kylo’s career progressed, then it made sense for him to be rid of distractions such as you. Of course, Kylo knew that well but found himself here with you, now. A hypocrite, as the Force would have it.

“He’s been training hard, I’m aware.” Kylo stalled, trying to answer you quickly to avoid suspicion.

“Uh, I haven’t noticed anything else. He’s been avoiding distractions, maybe. And that’s smart of him.” He watched you re-lace your boots.

You nodded slowly, he imagined your eyes searching the ground for the answers Kylo wasn’t giving you.

Kylo cleared his throat, moving toward the door to listen for hallway walkers.

“Why, have you noticed him acting strangely?” He tried playing it off, Force focusing on the empty space outside his door.

You shrugged, eyes avoiding his.

“Just miss him too, I guess. You’ve both been so distant. I feel like I lost all my friends.”

Kylo’s heart swelled, his attention on the Force fading away, heart breaking for you.

That sentiment didn’t translate well into words.

“Your fellow knights are just that – colleagues. There’s no need for friends.”

You walked towards him, sad eyes finding his own.

“Then what are we, Commander?” Your soft voice was brimming with implication.

He couldn’t help the chuckle.

“ _Not friends._ ”

Fuck. He hadn’t meant it how it sounded. He’d meant _more than friends_ or… gods, he didn’t exactly know what else was more-than-friends but that’s what he’d meant, and it wasn’t at all how it sounded leaving his lips. He wanted to kick himself when he saw the sadness creep back into your eyes. His fault.

“Right, goodnight Commander.” You said quickly, passing him and leaving before he had a chance to correct himself.

In the following deafening silence of his empty room, two things occurred:

  1. _It’s for the best. Distance._



&

  1. Kylo Ren threw his bed against the wall - rage spilling from his fingertips.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I'm so sorry this update took an age to post! If anyone is pained by the angst, I'm there with you. I feel for you. But trust me, it will get better :) Please comment and leave kudos if you like this work - I'm also currently working on a Charlie Barber fic - if anyone is interested in that, feel free to drop your opinions in the comments! 
> 
> xoxo Thanks for the continued love and support on Entirely Different - it means so much to me!


	27. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out you can go back home... but it'll cost you.

Your flight back to StarKiller wasn’t exactly how you’d arrived. Kylo had Trudgen and Ap’lek join him and yourself on the Command Shuttle, and honestly, you were grateful. Things were tense between you and Kylo after you left his quarters the night before. Had the two of you been flying back alone, it would have made for a torturous quiet time. However, Ap’lek was a welcome distraction of constant jokes, laughter, and endless funny faces when Trudgen’s back was turned. You found out that the two were cousins, something you hadn’t known before that day. There was a lot of blood family amongst the Knights of Ren. It only made you feel even more like an outsider.

Upon landing (marvelously smooth, you might add) you couldn’t help but tense when you spotted a familiar coif of dirty blonde hair making its way to your ship among a flock of other engineers. _Sevier._ You busied yourself with Ap’lek, striding toward the cargo bay to grab your bags. Of course, the benevolent knight insisted to carry your bags and Trudgen had already slung his and Kylo’s bags over his back before striding off the ship trailing his master. You looked around desperately for another half second, trying to find something, _anything_ , to busy your hands.

Ap’lek had hung back, still in conversation with you, when Sevier and his team strode onto the ship. Head high, round green eyes scanning the interior walls before landing on you, he genuinely seemed surprised to see you there. Almost stunned, even his stride hesitated the smallest bit. You diverted your eyes quickly to Ap’lek who was finishing up the punchline of his joke before laughing and walking off without you. Leaving you alone with Sevier. Bastard. Reluctantly, you grabbed the command pad on the wall next to you to begin return report.

Sevier cleared his throat, your name falling into the air shortly after.

“I had no idea you piloted the Command Shuttle.” He smiled.

There was no warmth there, though. Condescension and self-satisfied smugness, definitely. You knew him well enough to know exactly when he was sure of himself.

You sneered back at him.

“I’m the pilot.” You said gruffly before rattling off the return report.

You’d given him no time to see it coming and you kept your comments quick and decisive as he ripped out his data pad to type the report notes. Once you had finished, you slid the command pad back into the slot on the wall and began making your way for the door, offering a half-hearted “Did you catch all that?” over your shoulder as you fled with faux confidence. You knew your escape was thwarted when you felt his hand circle your bicep and you spun, wild-eyed, to face him.

“Don’t touch me, Sevier.” You warned lowly.

His eye twitched, but he released you with a scowl over his pouty lips.

You had once known those lips so well.

“I thought we ended things amicably, Hux.” He smirked, pleased to see he could still stop you dead in your tracks.

You exhaled, disbelieving his boldness. Your eyes darted behind you, assuring his team was still busy assessing the exterior of the craft, before turning back and glaring at him. Taking a large step into his personal space, you pointed a finger up at his smug face.

“ _Firstly,_ ” You seethed. “I go by my mother’s name. _Do not_ call me by his name on base. Got it?”

Unfortunately, he still saw you as a child; a little girl he’d seduced and verbally abused during your school days; he didn’t have the good sense to realize you were a much more deadly threat these days. He underestimated you, smirking into your face, leaning down toward you until his breath washed over your face. Sickeningly sweet and minty, a familiar threat your body had learned to flinch away from. At least the whiskey no longer seemed present.

“Okay, Knight.” He whispered across your face.

You shuddered, shifting away from him.

Unfortunately, he’d shaken you and he could see it. The though made you sick to your stomach.

“Secondly,” You breathed with much less zeal. “I left you, Sev. You’re a narcissistic, controlling, sociopathic manipulator.”

You built steam on those last words, spitting them at him from a safe distance, grinning when you saw his lip twitch into a frown.

“Stay away from me.” You said, taking a step toward the shuttle doors.

“Hard to do that, love. I’m lead engineer, you’re a pilot.”

You glanced back at him. That damn sickening grin.

“Hard to stay away from you. It’s like we belong together.”

It wouldn’t be sweet even if he’d meant it. Deranged if he’d believed it, but no. He was taunting you, the fucking _sociopath._ You just about lost control, fist flexing at your side, feeling the Force in the air, and almost reaching out when Kylo ascended the shuttle ramp.

“Knight.” He looked between Sevier and yourself, painfully aware he’d just walked into something. He’d wished he had the good sense to listen in on his way back to the shuttle, but Ap’lek had been in his damn ear the whole time. Kylo sneered in the privacy of his helmet as the lead engineer saluted him and clicked his shiny heels together. Fucking suck up.

“Apologies, Commander. I held back your pilot for return reports, we’ve just wrapped up.” Sevier smiled at the Commander, senseless boy.

Kylo grunted disapproval as he looked back to you.

“Supreme Leader requests your presence, lady Ren.” Kylo made a point to lay his name claim on you in front of the slimy engineer.

You simply nodded and turned to follow him from the shuttle, turning back to throw a smug grin of your own at Sevier on your way out. You had to admit, however, you were unpleasantly surprised to see him return the same threatening grin. It made your insides feel hollow, turned your stomach upside down; you turned away quickly and followed the Commander through the hangar.

You’d been so caught up in your thoughts that you’d forgotten who you were accompanying. Your walls were all too nonexistent and Kylo was able, unbeknownst to you, to slide into your thoughts and make sense of all the tension between the engineer and yourself. He steered the pair of you towards a storage closet and you were so preoccupied you’d not even noticed until your foot knocked a decommissioned scrubber droid. Looking around the cramped space, your brows furrowed.

“What the hell-“ You were cut short by Kylo leaning hard into you, your back pressed up against the wall behind you.

“You _fucked_ that engineer?” He growled as he removed his helmet and tossed it roughly at your feet.

You jumped, eyes wide as you swallowed the thickness in your throat.

“I- wha- you can’t stay out of my fucking head for a single day, Kylo?!”

“Answer me.” He whispered, hazel eyes boring into yours.

“I-“ You stuttered, feeling flustered and warm. He was the last person in the galaxy you wanted to have this conversation with.

“Yes, but why-“ You stammered, flinching when his fist landed on the wall next to your face.

“Are you _fucking_ serious?!” He nearly yelled in your face, your name ricocheting against the tight walls.

“You didn’t think you’d _tell me_?” He growled.

“Tell you _what_ , Kylo?! We’re not fucking friends, right!?” You spat back.

“I said you would see me _only!_ ” He spat, eyes darting between yours.

Brows drawn together, your mouth gaped as you took a moment to look at him. His eyes were wild, pupils blown and fixed on you, lips tightly pressed into a line, heavy breaths quick in his chest. He looked positively pained. Jealousy looked fucking sexy on him.

Apparently he’d heard that thought, a humorless laugh unfurling into the confined space as he tried to hide those wild emotions.

“Oh, yeah? You think it’s sexy for me to want to murder you?” He spat again, lips close to yours.

But you’d hardly registered the words, your eyes soft and hooded. He looked taken aback.

“That was in school. I left him years ago, Kylo.” You said softly, honesty and tenderness seeping from your gentle voice.

Kylo’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead, feeling suddenly very exposed and utterly embarrassed. He exhaled slowly in an effort to calm down, but your soft eyes and sweet smile cooled him down quicker. You laid your hand flat on his chest, he nearly flinched at the contact but didn’t do anything to stop you. He took a quiet moment to process. You were silent, letting him do so. After a while, he cleared his throat and placed a gently hand over yours.

“We’ve got to meet Snoke, but..” His eyes met yours. “I want to talk about this later.”

You frowned but nodded. He nodded too, lightly squeezing your fingertips before releasing them, collecting his helmet from the floor, and opening the closet door. The two of you reentered the hall and were back on route to the conference rooms in Sector A. Along the way, you’d ran into Cardo in the hall. Apparently the three of you were headed to the same place, Cardo joined your trio, falling into step on Kylo’s other side. You glanced at him behind Kylo’s back, but he didn’t look your way. You sighed in frustration. Kylo’s helmeted head dipping down in your direction at the sound, you shrugged.

The three of you arrived, filing into the conference room one by one. You were surprised to find that Kuruk and Trudgen had been waiting as well, the two shared a look when they saw you enter the room. It made you frown, you felt a rush of inadequacy as you shifted nervously on your feet. Kylo shed his helmet and placed a puck shaped receiver in the center of the table. The five of you waited in silence as dial tones rang out into the air. Snoke answered quickly, his eyes falling on Cardo and Kylo first.

“Ah, your candidates?” Snoke’s gravelly voice echoed in the room.

Kylo nodded. “As requested, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke’s beady eyes landed solely on Cardo, next. Squinting ever so slightly as his volume dropped a bit.

“Your brother isn’t here, is he?” Snoke half-whispered. As if you all couldn’t hear him anyway.

Cardo huffed a small laugh, lips curling into a half-smile. “No, sir.”

“Ah, good.” Snoke grinned, relieved. “Good kid, great assassin – wouldn’t let him lead a pack of Porgs, though – much less the lot of you.”

Your group snickered, realizing how right he was. Snoke’s eyes found Kuruk and Trudgen next, nodding to them thoughtfully before bringing his attention back to Kylo, his mouth open as if he were just about to speak, when his eyes spotted you nearly half behind the Commander. Your name fell into the air, staticky from the transmission, Snoke smiled at you. Again, oddly grandfatherly.

“Ah, I’m glad to see you here.” He bowed his head slightly to you.

You returned the gesture. “Of course, Supreme Leader.”

You caught Kuruk rolling his eyes.

Snoke looked back to Kylo. “Very good, let’s go ahead with that plan.”

Kylo nodded.

“Well, my apprentice’s knights of Ren…” he addressed your group. “You’ve all been selected as potential candidates for Master Ren’s successor.”

All of your heads snapped to Kylo, each of you had the same thought. Your eyes scanned him for injuries, your Force sensitive minds poking and prodding at him gently to ascertain what in the galaxy would have him relinquish his power over the knights. Kylo side-eyed each of you, his gaze landing on you a little longer.

“Now, now. Our Commander Ren isn’t going anywhere.” Snoke assured your group.

You sucked in a deep, quiet breath. Relieved he wasn’t dying or worse. Kylo rested his weight on his heels and his left arm brushed against you for a moment while Snoke wasn’t looking. You fought back a grin at his touch. His Force voice was in your head, then, talking over the Supreme Leader.

_Don’t worry about me, little one._

You nearly scoffed, rolling your eyes while he watched you out of the corner of his eye. You caught him smile before Snoke turned back your way.

“No… as the Resistance continues to make the First Order an enemy and our Commander becomes a greater target, it’s only wise that one of you be appointed to take his place should things take a turn for the worst.”

Trudgen and Kuruk nodded gravely, eyes dead set on Snoke as he explained. Kylo listened, nodding along every now and then to assure his master he was listening. Cardo’s eyes were zoned out on the tabletop, silent and unmoving, stunned perhaps. And you, well, you didn’t really even consider the real possibility that you’d be chosen to supersede the formidable man at your side. Would you even want it, if offered? Snoke wrapped up, explaining the severity of your continued cooperation while Kylo and himself worked to appoint one of you to the job. You felt a shudder roll through you when the transmission ended, and the room filled with thick silence at its conclusion.

Cardo was the first to exit, after a long silence. He left quietly, offering no goodbyes to anyone, simply slipping from the room and down the hall. Kuruk was next, staring daggers at you as he left. Clearly he saw you as a threat, even if you didn’t. You couldn’t help but notice Kylo square up as he passed, Kuruk backed off immediately. Trudgen left right after, stopping in front of Kylo for a moment.

“Everything’s good, though… yeah?” He asked quietly.

You could tell he was uncomfortable you were there to witness his obvious concern for the wellbeing of his master. Kylo nodded, clapping him on the back.

“It’s just a precaution.” He assured the knight.

Trudgen left with a small smile on his face.

Then there was only the two of you, standing close together in the privacy of the conference room. After a while, you turned to leave when he reached out to you.

“Wait, I’ve got to tell you something.” He said quietly.

You turned back to him.

“So you _are_ dying.” You joked, small smile pulling up the corner of your lips.

He breathed a laugh, shaking his head.

“No. Disappointed?” He leaned back against the table, arms crossing as he watched you through sultry narrowed eyes, a smirk plastered to his face.

“Yes,” You sighed, feigning disappointment. “I wanted all your power, Ren.”

He raised a brow. “You know that’s your name too now, right?”

You stuck out your tongue, making him chuckle. You laughed too, shrugging.

“What do you have to tell me? You know, now that you know I don’t have any interest in killing you… yet.” You teased, crossing your arms over your chest in the chilly room.

Kylo’s smile faded.

“Here’s hoping you don’t want to kill me after.”

You frowned, nervous.

Another sigh, Kylo raked a hand through his hair.

“Snoke wants all of you to take the consideration seriously…” He started, eyeing you warily.

You scoffed and breathy laugh. “You don’t think I’ll take it seriously?”

He shook his head.

“No, not that… He wants to limit your distractions. Focus all your responsibilities on training with the knights.” He watched you carefully, wishing he didn’t have to be the one to tell you this.

You swallowed, hoping this wasn’t going the direction you thought it was.

“Uh, okaaaay..?” You prodded, hoping he’d spit it out.

Kylo swallowed.

“Your shuttle position has been posted.” He said quietly.

Your mouth gaped.

“And…” He stood up straight, ready to take a punch if that’s what you needed to work out. “And that _Bathzat_ girl got it.”

His purposeful mispronunciation of her name might have been appreciated more if you hadn’t been seeing red. Your hand flexed at your side, the metal conference table groaning as it warped into a distorted ball in seconds. Kylo’s eyes were wide, leaping away from your destruction. He was about to reach towards you when you held up a flat hand to him, keeping him at bay.

“No, I don’t want to hurt you.” You spat angrily.

You weren’t angry with him. It couldn’t have been his decision. It wasn’t his fault. No, you weren’t angry with Kylo, but you wanted to wring the life out of something right now and Kylo was the closest living thing. Against his better judgement, he listened in. He knew better than to try to talk you down right now, and you’d directly told him not to come near you, but maybe he could help if he knew what was going on in there.

_I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want to fucking lead the Knights of Ren. I don’t want power over fucking anyone. ALL I wanted to do was fly a fucking ship. Fucking fly! I’m a fucking pilot, not a fucking solider. FUCK! How fucking hard is that? Why don’t I get what I want? Maybe if I asked my dad for everything I fucking wanted I’d get all the shit I want. FUCKING DAMNIT. Fucking Bethza! Fucking Sevier and his fucking narcissistic, abusive fucking –_

“What?!” Kylo nearly shouted.

You looked at him, a distraction from your thoughts. Your brows drew together in confusion. Had you missed something?

“What?” Thank gods you were calmer now.

“ _Who is abusive?_ ” Kylo’s eyes were hard on you, pained.

Your eyes widened.

“Fuck, Kylo. Don’t get in my head.” The twisted heap of metal groaned again.

Kylo couldn’t help but flinch a bit, eyes darting to the remnants of the conference room table.

“Sorry, but what?” He sounded softer this time, pleading for you to explain.

You shrugged, tired of the Force energy you were exerting.

“He’s an asshole, Kylo. Forget about him.”

His jealously was endearing, this protective thing was heart-warming, but you were tired. So much had just happened, and a lot had gone so wrong so fast your head was spinning. You prayed Kylo would let it go for the night.

“That engineer? I’ll fucking kill him.” Kylo turned to storm from the room but you held the Force in front of the door, keeping him there with you.

“Please don’t. He’s not even worth it.”

Waves of fury rolled off of him, he looked murderous and you didn’t doubt he felt that way too. You rested a hand on his chest, gentle and cautious, and waited for him to ease up a little. His fury faded slowly, fists clenching at his sides. You tried not to find him so damn attractive while he seethed over your asshole ex-boyfriend. He heard that, scoffing at hearing how silly it sounded to be observed that way.

Still tense, but ready to move on for the night, Kylo patted your shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

“Promise you’re not off to the hangar bay to annihilate a certain engineer?”

He snickered, replacing his helmet over his dark locks.

“No.” His voice was cold through the synth.

“I’m taking you back to my bed. You’re staying with me tonight.”

You grinned in anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, who am I ? Two chapters in two days! Have we set a new precedent!? WHo is this new MaskHumanity? She's punctual! Lol, I'm kidding. I've had some time and I'm so ready to get back to mindless smut so I'm writing all the, yanno, PLOT so we can get that shit out of the way! 
> 
> Also, have you seen?? I added a chapter count! We are going to have (at least) 55 chapters! This is an exciting development for me, as I've finally outlined the remaining chapters and, sadly, the end! This fic is so meaningful to me, but I'm ready to start posting my Charlie Barber fic. Drop a comment if you'd be interest in reading it!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Seriously, your comments make me so fucking happy! I love you all so so much!


	28. Explanations Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pack it in and strap down for the ride. I hope you like rollercoasters. x

_How did I end up here? Again?_

Kylo had been up for hours, sleep eluding him and leaving him drowning in a sea of his own thoughts. You were sleeping quietly at his side, back to him and hair fanned out over his pillow. His fingers twitched with wanting to reach out and play with your tresses; it took almost every bit of his self-control not to do just that. But who was he kidding? What self-control? He’d been drowning in self-doubt for weeks now, unable to admit to himself the obvious truth: he only felt at ease when he was with you.

_How did I allow this to happen?_

He scoffed quietly in the silence of the room, turning over in bed so that he was back-to-back with you. He didn’t merely ‘allow’ this to happen – he’d instigated it. As he always did. It was always _him._ And damn him if he wasn’t ready to admit that you could be anything more to him. Those who loved him – left him. And he simply wouldn’t allow it. No, just like he wouldn’t allow himself to keep this up. What did he expect? You agreed to these terms – _his_ terms. No, this was just your typical… hardcore.. casual sex.

There’s nothing wrong with it, right? He could continue to keep feelings out of it. You would both be so busy with training in the upcoming weeks, he could easily justify keeping you at arm’s length distance. Except for the nights, when you’d be here with him. Yes, that seemed good. That would work. He wouldn’t need to give you up, all he had to do was reestablish those rules. This would work. You stirred behind him and he found himself turning toward you without a thought where he was surprised to find your eyes on his.

“What time is it?” You whispered.

Kylo couldn’t help but notice how tired your eyes were, he wandered if you’d been awake for a while now, too.

“Not sure.” His hand skated the empty space between the two of you before his fingertips brushed your bare back.

“Either very late or very early.” He concluded, rubbing small circles into your flesh.

 _Nothing wrong with this._ He reminded himself.

“You’re not leaving anytime soon, if that’s where you were headed with that.” He smirked at you, snuggling his head into his pillow.

It was moments like that which stole your breath from your lungs. He looked impossibly handsome stretched out in his mega bed with you, dark hair messy and pushed back away from his forehead. He looked sweaty and tired, like he hadn’t slept after round two. Yourself, you were too sore not to rest after that last time – he’d nearly broken you in half. You examined his sweat slicked skin for a moment, hand wandering over his bicep.

You didn’t catch the shuddered breath which loosed from his lungs.

“Will you come take a bath with me?” You asked quietly, fingertips skating down his muscles.

He was quiet for a moment, eyes dancing over your exposed skin without meeting your eyes. If you’d glanced into his mind, you would have heard:

_Nothing wrong with this. Nothing wrong with this. Nothing wrong with this._

“Sure.” He shrugged before rolling from his side of bed and patting into the restroom.

You couldn’t help but grin at his bare ass when he passed.

You followed him on shaky legs, not quite recovered from the evening’s earlier events. With one hand on the wall, you wobbled into the restroom after him, spurred on by the steam and sounds the gurgling tap unfurling from the small space. He’d dimmed the lights so that they weren’t so glaring on either of your sleepy eyes and stood off the side, one hand extended to you. You hobbled a step in his direction when his brow knit together.

“Are you okay?” He asked, closing the space between you with two quick steps, his hands holding your waist.

You smiled shyly, hiding your reddened cheeks behind your unkempt hair.

“My legs are still a little sore.” You said quietly.

Grinning, he dipped to lift you from the floor. Holding you bridal style in his arms, his long legs stepped over the edge of the tub carefully before gently laying you in the water. He adjusted himself to sit across from you, his broad shoulders flattening against the porcelain as he lowered himself into the suds. You smiled softly to yourself, letting your lids close and sinking into the warm water.

Allowing your legs to stretch as far as they could in the suspended gravity of the water, your toes floated over to nudge Kylo’s thigh. At his silence, you peeked over at him to find his eyes closed and breathing steadily. Thinking he’d fallen asleep, you carefully readjusted to lay with your back against his chest, tightly snuggled up between his legs. However, after a few moments, you could feel that familiar hardness perk up between his thighs, and you knew he wasn’t sleeping.

You rolled your head back against his chest, glancing up at him through your lashes, to find him looking down at you. You smirked when his fingertips ghosted down your sides, his right hand wandering lower and lower until – _there._ His fingertip landed gently over the buzzing nub between your thighs. Begging for attention, you whimpered under his touch, spine melting into him as your hips bucked gently into his hand. He chuckled, sending rolling vibrations through his chest.

Your eyes fluttered shut as his fingers worked over you, quiet moans spilling into the steamy air. He kissed the back of your head briefly before you heard him whisper into the shell of your ear.

“Look at me, pet.”

Perhaps you wouldn’t have appreciated the pet name (literally) in any other state but your lust-drunk stupor; however, you couldn’t bring yourself to think twice as your eyelids immediately snapped open and obediently landed on his hazel eyes. They were much more black today, pupils blown wide as he pleasured you closer and closer to coming undone.

Your eyelids were heavy against the weight of your unfurling climax, but you made it work. His breathing was heavy, cock twitching under your squirming backside on his lap. You mewled and moaned, hips bucking into his velvet soft touch even as it turned to overstimulating in a heartbeat. You spewed nonsense as you came, fists clenched around Kylo’s wrist still working furiously at your sensitive clit. Finally you groaned in pain and shoved his hand away from you.

He chuckled darkly, sliding you off his lap to nestle back between his thighs, his hard cock bobbing in the water. You fought to catch your breath, turning yourself gently to sit on your knees and face him. You heaved sharp breaths for a moment or two more, locked eyes with Kylo in front of you. He smiled – not one of those condescending smirks or smug half smiles – but a real, warm smile. Like he was silently encouraging you to take your time.

Once you’d finally tunneled enough air into your lungs, you were more than ready to repay the favor, hands sliding up his monstrous thighs underwater. Kylo shook his head slowly, eyes glassy and hooded. You paused, confused. He grasped either of your hands in his. In the silence, you were confused and quickly beginning to overthink. He’d never been one to deny you, especially not hard. Your brown furrowed. He couldn’t help but notice how absolutely adorable you looked.

He hated that he felt that way. He dropped your hands, sighing quietly under his breath.

“Not again, you’re already sore.” Kylo said quietly, standing to make his way out of the tub.

You tried to ignore the way the water ran down the planes of his chest and abdomen, but he looked like a god in the low light with glistening rivers flowing down his body. You swallowed hard, feeling that coil wind up again in your stomach. You wanted to do something about it – you wanted _Kylo_ to do something about it. Your chest was tight as you mulled over his last words. He’d never been one to take it easy on you; you couldn’t help but feel he was intentionally becoming distant.

You huffed as he wrapped a towel tightly around his hips. He glanced over at you, a blank, indifferent look across his features. You frowned at him and he sighed.

“What’s wrong?” He mumbled, as if he didn’t really want the answer.

“’Not again’?” You asked, throwing his words back at him.

He regarded you for a half-second, eyes narrowed, and lips pursed.

You scoffed. “Seriously?”

His apathy turned quickly to annoyance. He turned from the restroom. You hovered in the tub, water now draining around you, and heard the rustle of fabric in the next room. Finally, sighing, you pulled yourself from the tub, drying yourself with the towel as you walked back into his room. You found him nearly redressed, purposefully not meeting your eye. He cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes.

“You should probably get some sleep. You have a pilot to debrief in the morning.”

You flinched, remembering you would have to _teach_ Bethza how to replace you. You shuddered at the thought. And Kylo. You could kill him for his apparent indifference. He’d been so back and forth lately, hot then cold in the blink of an eye. You had no more patience for it. You tossed the towel to the floor, not even able to enjoy the way his jaw tightened at the sight of your body, and you started collecting your clothes which were strewn about the floor.

Kylo watched you silently for a few moments before he’d pieced it together.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” He threw aside the shirt he’d been wrestling with, quick to rush over to you.

You pushed his hands away from you, sickly satisfied to see the surprise on his face, and went back to the task of dressing yourself.

“Yes, I’m leaving.” You grumbled, wrestling your bra onto your body as quickly as could be managed.

“As you’ve pointed out, I have an early morning and I’m getting sick of your bullshit, _Commander_.” You spit the words at him.

He opened his mouth and you shushed him.

“ _Stop._ You’ve been distant for _weeks_ now, and I know you’re not stupid – so you know I’ve noticed.”

You watched him raise a brow at you.

“And I’m not stupid either, Kylo. I’m sick of this – figure out what the _fuck_ you want.”

You slid your feet into your boots at the door, quick to make your exit, but Kylo’s hand was around your arm in a heartbeat.

“What the fuck do you mean?” He spat, pulling your face close to his.

You shoved against his chest.

“I _mean_ figure out what the fuck you want! One minute you’re protective and overbearing and sweet and the next you’re trying way too hard to convince us both that you have no feelings.”

He grinned cruelly, lip quivering at the word ‘feelings’.

“Oh yeah? So what, you’re leaving me? Huh?” He shook you in his grip.

“Done with me, is that right?!” He was nearly shouting now, spitting in your face.

“Oh no, little one. I get to be done with you – not the other way around!”

Despite the rage in his voice, his eyes were glassy, and you knew that somewhere underneath all that fury was pain.

“Well I am done with you. Until you figure out. What. You. Want.”

And with those final words, you pulled yourself from his grip and went stumbling backward into the hall. The last glimpse of his face before the hatch closed was one of fury. Rage. Glaring madness. And hurt. You couldn’t allow yourself to feel any sympathy for it. Not here. Not now. No, just get back to your quarters before it’s too late, but suddenly, you heard your name from behind you and froze. Again, you heard your name.

“What-what are you doing here?”

You turned slowly, caught frozen in his glare.

Your father, with all his questions and judgement and flaming red hair, stood staring at you outside his quarter’s door. And you could only imagine what he saw: hair a mess, boots half on, outside Kylo Ren’s quarters after 03:00. You gaped, eyes set on the General as he made his way in front of you. His eyes widened as he neared. You swallowed hard, caught somewhere between a breakup and having to explain it to your father.

“Hi, dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew... I gave it a few days because... well, I wasn't ready. And if you think shit just hit the fan, I'm sorry to say we've only begun our descent. I love you all, I appreciate all the feedback and support on Entirely Different! Thank you all for reading and sticking with me this far! I promise I'll make the end worth it. :)


	29. Mended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with every dark cloud... a silver lining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves!  
> I'm sorry I've had zero consistency with my updates lately, we live in such an unpredictable world at the moment.  
> @SandyRen I think you might like this chapter. Remember when I told you to keep your eyes peeled? ;)

General Hux stepped closer to you in the dark corridor, eyes trained on your disheveled appearance with deadly precision; you could feel yourself shrink under his glare. You didn’t want to imagine how inappropriate you must have looked. You didn’t want to answer the millions of questions you could feel brewing and brimming his overfull mind. You didn’t want to be in this situation at all. Food for thought: perhaps _this_ , right here, is a good enough reason to steer clear of Kylo Ren for a millennia. You hated how such a fleeting thought struck so much pain in your heart.

That’s when the General and yourself heard an eruption of rage from the inside of Commander Ren’s quarters. On instinct, you stepped away from his door; knowing well enough that the fury pouring out of that room was a direct result of your actions. The General flinched, looking behind you at the door as if he might see through it – to ascertain the nature of such a late visit. You could already hear the speculation in his thoughts. He was praying you would have any excuse, anything even half-viable to explain why you were skulking outside of his sworn enemy’s personal quarters at such an indecent hour.

You walked a ways down the hall, hoping to be out of ear shot from Kylo’s tantrum while you dealt with your father. He followed you closely, almost afraid you would turn and flee from his eminent interrogation; but no, you stopped outside his door with your head hung low as you gestured towards the hatch.

“We have a lot to talk about. Perhaps we should go inside.” You recommended quietly.

He nodded slowly, keeping one eye on you as he turned halfway to press a hand to the panel. The door slid aside to grant access and he gestured for you to go ahead. You let out a quiet, steady breath through your nose as you crossed the threshold into certain doom. It was difficult to work up something to say while also trying to keep your walls up from Kylo. With his anger fueling him, it would be all too easy to reach for your thoughts. You didn’t know which man you’d need to put on more of a front for – Kylo or Hux.

You supposed there was only one set of eyes on you at the moment, and by the way those blue beady things followed you around his suite, you knew he’d be demanding answers soon.

“I know you have questions.” You said quietly, vaguely.

Much too vague for your father’s liking.

“Oh, do you think?” He scoffed, not unlike the way you do.

Something you learned from him.

You hesitated, stuck somewhere between the respect you were used to showing him and his lack of respect which your new status earned you much more than. You arched a brow at him.

“It wasn’t exactly my choice, General.” You grumbled.

He was quiet, watching you shift on your feet under his eye.

“Why are you out so late?” He asked hesitantly.

A shudder came from the shared wall of the two quarter’s, evidence that something had been thrown against it on Kylo’s side. A ragged howl accompanied it and you moved further away. Your father sneered at the wall behind you, sneering at the sounds of the man you’d put in so much pain.

“Take it easy…” You said quietly. “He got some bad news tonight.”

You looked back at the wall, hearing the fury quell to something less venomous.

Hux’s brow knit together as he listened.

“Is that why you’re here? Deliver news to your…”

The word _master_ sat tepidly on the tip of his tongue, you could hear him debate letting it fall off the edge.

He cleared his throat. “Your superior?”

You hid a smile behind your hair.

“Yes, just a messenger tonight.”

He laughed humorlessly.

“It seems you’re much more than a messenger…” He fixed his eyes on you, as if it would cut you open, and you’d spill all your secrets.

You frowned.

“I’m not sure if you’re aware, _General_ , but I do not answer to you anymore.”

It was quick, slicing through him just as you’d hoped it would. He deliberated quietly, not quite sure if you were wrong. If you had truly become a Knight of Ren, you answered directly to Kylo – and, in turn, the Supreme Leader. If anything, as much as he’d hate to admit it aloud, he was on the same level as you: his _daughter_. The thought made him sway, sick with confusion and blind envy.

You waited a moment more, respectfully waiting to answer any questions he may have been able to form. When he remained silent, you turned on your heel for the door.

“I suppose if you have any further questions, you can take it up with the Supreme Leader, or _Master Ren_ , if you’re desperate enough.”

You spit Kylo’s title at him, watching it land unpleasantly against his ears, and slid quietly out of the room. You hurriedly walked back to your quarters, desperate to sleep before chaos ensued in the morning.

05:30 came much sooner than you had hoped. Running on little to no sleep, you carefully swept your hair into a bun and slid into your pilot’s uniform for perhaps the last time. A horrible melancholy feeling swept over you as you ran your fingers across the blank spaces that were meant to accumulate medals and honors. You frowned, realizing you weren’t destined for that life anymore. After outfitted, you checked your appearance thrice over before leaving your quarters; you wanted to be absolutely sure you were as put together as possible.

You needed to be perfect to face Bethza. You refused to look at her as if she’d won, you wouldn’t belittle yourself like that. Snoke had better things in mind for you, and you intended to live up to those expectations in ways you’d never cared to before. You held your breath as you walked down the halls, preparing for the morning facing you. You awkwardly passed your father on your way into the hangar, giving each other a nod instead of the usual salute and reprieve.

It was the ego boost you needed before facing the scene in front of you. The Command Shuttle, in all her beauty, being ogled up and down like a common whore by the worst wonder twins in the closest six galaxies. Bethza and Sevier. Bethza was beaming, glowing under the bright hangar lights, conversing with her snake of a brother. You approached them and stood at a distance, clearing your throat to gain their attention.

Two sets of green eyes landed on you as the laughter died down. Bethza had the good enough sense to half-salute, while Sev merely smirked at you as he leaned against the engine.

“Just going over pre-flight inspection, officer.” He said casually, handing a data pad back to his sister.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“It’s not ‘officer’ anymore, engineer. You’re dismissed.”

He stayed still, not taking you as a threat.

“Oh, no? What’s your title then, Knight?” He asked smugly.

You bit back a smile at the irony of his answer being in his question. You were just that – a knight. Instead, you turned to look at Bethza, trying to drip with indifference.

“Are you prepared for training, officer Ketsion?”

She smiled, unphased, and nodded. You pursed your lips as she walked ahead of you and into the shuttle. Her blonde hair was tucked neatly into her regulation cap, but somehow still glaringly shiny and stunning in uniform. You frowned. This would be a long morning.

And a long morning it was.

Bethza excelled in more ways than one; had you been anything less than disgusted by her presence, you might have even been impressed. However, the smugness rolled off of her in sickening waves, rising with every successful turn. You had to grit your teeth to keep from screaming. Upon a perfect landing, you unbuckled your restraints, typing the final comments on her performance into the data pad before striding toward the control panel to return the pad to its place.

She turned in her seat, watching you avoid her gaze until you couldn’t rationalize it anymore. Steeling yourself for her eyes, you drew in a slow, inconspicuous breath and chewed the inside of your cheek while you prepared your dismissal.

“Very well, officer. I should think you’re proficient to take over at this time…” You paused, not pleased with the same look of self-assured dumbass that she shared with her brother.

“Uh, I’ll pass word on to your superior. You’re dismissed for the day.”

You heard her call your name, and you had to admit – you seriously considered to continue walking.

“Wait!” She called again, sounding genuine much to your discontent.

You sucked your teeth, turning around despite yourself. She had removed her cap, smoothing the blonde hair under slim fingertips. You waited quietly.

“Be sure to thank your dad for the gig!” She grinned menacingly, baring her perfectly white teeth like a carnivorous beast.

You swallowed hard, feeling the Force rise within and around you as fury built up, begging to spill from you. You spun on a heel, leaving her to the silence of the ship, which was now, begrudgingly, under her charge. On your way out of the hangar, you caught sight of Jane near the offloading dock. You changed your course for her, waving emphatically, thrilled to see a friendly face. She noticed you instantly, waving back equally as cheerfully.

“You’re back!” She smiled, a nice change of pace from the usual frowns and sneers you’d become accustomed to as of late.

“Yes! We should do lunch! Are you available?” You smiled back.

Movement out of the corner of your eye stole your attention, Sevier was pacing his way towards the pair of you. You shifted your focus back to Jane in time to watch her glance about the hangar for a few moments while stuttering.

“Oh, if you’re busy-“ You started.

“No, no! I was looking for.. someone, but I don’t think they’re arriving today. You mentioned lunch?” She rattled quickly.

You furrowed your brows, about to open your mouth when-

“Ladies.” You turned to see Sevier saddled up beside you, hand already extended towards Jane.

His grin was wide and blinding, turning the charm on to fluster your friend. It worked.

“Oh, hello!” Jane giggled, blushing, and swept a strand of hair behind her ear before gingerly taking his hand.

You pursed your lips, sending daggers his way with your eyes. He only smiled sweetly your way, green eyes glinting with mischief.

“Jane, lunch?” You prodded.

She looked back to you, seemingly forgetting you’d been there, and nodded quietly. Her eyes slid back to Sevier, eyeing him like he’s so used to. What an ego boost for him – _great._ You narrowed your eyes at him over your back while turning with your friend to flee the hangar. You strode quickly and Jane nearly had to jog to keep up with you.

“Wait up, what’s the rush?” She laughed nervously.

You slowed a bit, finally realizing how fast your feet carried you away.

“Sorry, I’m starving.” You lied, steering you both towards the direction of the cafeteria.

She giggled, good natured and unsuspecting.

“They didn’t feed you on the Finalizer?” She japed, nudging your ribs with her elbow gently.

You cracked an honest smile and shook your head.

“No, they tortured me. They gave me half rations every other day!” You joked back, patting your stomach like you’d been starved for weeks.

She slapped your back and giggled furiously, the two of you walked jovially towards the promise of food, arm in arm. You hadn’t felt this light, this _normal_ , in weeks. Your closest friend since departing Jane had been Cardo, and his friendship has seemed all but a fiction of your imagination these days.

The two of you spent a little over an hour in the cafeteria, in deep discussion about working closely with the Commander and your sudden change in status. Unlike your father, Jane didn’t seem threatened or concerned with your newfound abilities. On the other hand, she showered you in endless praise and questions.

“So where was this mission? You said you _know_ the Knights of Ren?” Her eyes were wide, as they often are.

You’d filled her in on your mission to Canto Bight. Well, the PG version excluding any and all mentions of the group sex, anyway.

She looked around before adding quietly, “What are they like?”

You scoffed through a smile.

“Well, for one, I kind of _am_ a knight now.” You watched as her eyes nearly bulged from her head, exactly the reaction you’d expected. You chuckled under your breath.

“They’re intense sometimes, but… good. They’re good guys.” You answered honestly, hearing the pleasant warmth of your own voice when talking about your brothers.

Jane smiled a bit and asked, in a mousy whisper: “Are any of them cute?”

You’d been in the middle of a side-splitting laugh when Ap’lek appeared behind Jane, startling the wits out of her as he bent to sit beside her.

“ _I_ am – can’t say the same for these shabby ones.” He said.

He was accompanied by Ushar and Vicrul, who sat on either side of you. You could feel their light spirits in their Force, could sense their friendly smiles beneath their helmets. However, all Jane could see was three masked assassins joining the safety of her girl time. She blushed a furious red and looked to you with wide eyes in a mixture of fear and embarrassment.

You smiled and laughed quietly, reaching for her hand to squeeze her fingertips.

“I hadn’t had the chance to add _harmless_.” You joked, jabbing Vicrul in his side.

“Take off your helmets, for fuck’s sake. The lot of you are scaring my friend.”

You had to bite your cheeks to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter as you watched Jane’s face while she took in the men around her. One by one, they discarded their helmets and shook their hair out while you chided them to dust off away from your food, scolding Vicrul for resting his helmet on the table.

“Gods, my apologies lady Ren.” He grumbled through a charming smirk.

You were sure Jane was fit to feint.

You fussed about Ushar for a few minutes, giving Jane a bit of time to adjust. Sure enough, she piped up once she was ready to pitch in to the conversation. You noticed Ap’lek chortling at whatever comment she’d made that you’d missed.

“Jane,” You grabbed her attention.

She met your eyes immediately, smiling warmly.

“This is Ushar, Vic, and that’s Ap’lek.” You pointed out your brothers who nodded her way with friendly smiles, and Ap’lek boldly kissed the back of her hand.

“Don’t mind him; he’s a serial romantic.” Ushar teased.

Ap’lek responded by grabbing a piece of meat from Jane’s tray and chucking it at Ushar’s face. Ushar fisted a handful of your vegetable side and tossed it back. You threw your hands over yours and Jane’s food, crying “Not our food!” while Jane giggled and dodged pieces of flying food.

“Act like gentlemen, you two.” Vicrul chided, sounding uncharacteristically bored and responsible, you had to do a double take.

But no, he leaned back casually, eyeing you with a funny look on his face.

“Never touch a lady’s food.” He mumbled through a mouthful of _your_ food.

Your table erupted in laughter as you stomped on his foot and he groaned. Your group was comfortable and easy for a while, Jane seemed to open up to the knights and even asked them a few questions.

“So Canto Bight, that had to be fun!” She said at one point, you ignored the way that all the knights side-eyed you and the energy had shifted to one of shared secrets and heated thoughts.

“ _Very_ fun.” Ushar agreed, his voice dripping insinuation.

“So _wet!_ ” Vicrul chuckled, nodding his head.

You elbowed his side, sending him a silent warning.

 _Shut the_ fuck _up, dumbass._

“Uh, swimming. We had a little free time and went to the beach.” Ap’lek interjected, helping you keep this from derailing awkwardly.

Jane looked to Ap’lek, sufficiently distracted enough for you to playfully flick Ushar’s ear and elbow Vic’s side again.

“Oh, wow. You all went swimming? Did the Commander give you the permission to do that?” Jane asked, thankfully completely unaware.

“Fuck yeah, it was his idea!” Vicrul snickered, meeting your deadly glare with a charming grin.

“That’s surprising.” Jane said, sounding a little confused.

“Mhm, grumpy bastard had a great time, too. Good for him.” Ushar added through snickers of his own.

You smacked the back of his head.

“I’m surprised… that doesn’t sound like the Commander.” Jane said quietly.

That did it. All the knights lost it, Vicrul was wheezing and clutching his side, no doubt cramping from the excessive laughter. You sighed, having to keep a straight face while you smiled at Jane.

“Yeah, he doesn’t seem like the swimming type, right?” You said casually.

“Did he…?” She looked hesitantly at the other knights as they came down from the hilarity. “Did he, like, take off his helmet and stuff? I can’t imagine-“ She barely got the sentence out before the boys lost it all over again.

You grit your teeth, trying your best to keep from laughing with them.

She worried her lip, watching the knights double over and draw attention from the rest of the cafeteria. “I just can’t imagine him getting all… sandy.”

You finally cracked a smile, the image too perfectly clear in your mind: A sandy Ren in all his malevolent glory. And then, as if you’d conjured him forth from your mind, there he was – Kylo strode toward your table, face hidden by his trademark helmet. Jane stiffened immediately, looking as if she’d hoped she would become invisible if she stayed still enough. The other knights stopped laughing but lounged casually as he approached.

“Knight. You’re required for training.” Kylo barked at you, to which you merely nodded.

He hesitated for a moment, you were able to sense deliberation before he turned and strode off in the direction he’d come from. You rolled your eyes, picking up your tray to throw it out, but Vicrul snatched it back down to the tabletop before you got too far.

“I’ll finish it.” He insisted, snickering again as the other knights snickered along with him.

“You aren’t coming?” You asked them.

“Nope, just ‘the chosen ones’..” Ushar answered you, bitterness evident in his voice.

Ap’lek shot him a look that said ‘stop sulking’ before he turned to you.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep Jane company.” He smiled innocently.

Jane giggled, flustered.

“Yeah, I bet. Be nice to my friend, you dumbasses.” You slapped the back of Vic’s head and eyed Jane.

“Remember, they’re _harmless,_ Jane.” You smiled at her.

“Don’t let them intimidate you, especially not this flirt.” You poked Vic’s cheek as you walked away.

Jane waved you goodbye.

You made your way to the training rooms, pleasantly surprised that you weren’t the last to arrive. Trudgen and Kuruk must be on their way, but Cardo had already set up in a corner of the room. When he realized you’d entered, he seemed to take a deep breath and square his shoulders.

“Snoke wants the four of us to train. Kylo’s busy, so I’ll lead today.” You nodded, taking a few steps toward him.

“Is this gonna force us to talk?” You asked bluntly, pleased to see that he seemed a little taken aback.

He glanced to the door before answering quietly. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

“Great!” You said in an obnoxiously chipper voice.

“Because I’m sick of you avoiding me.” You placed yourself directly in front of him, leaving him no escape.

He sighed, you felt him close off a bit.

“I’m not avoiding-“ He started.

“No? Seems like you are.” You interrupted.

He wasn’t going to gaslight you, no chance in hell.

“What’s been your problem, Cardo?” You demanded, arms crossed defensively across your chest.

He mimicked the position, finally meeting your eyes.

“I don’t have any problem with-“

“Great! Then let’s just be friends again, yeah?” You made your voice all chipper again.

He sighed once more, losing some of the tension in his crossed arms.

“I miss you.” You added quietly. “Friends?”

You stuck out a hand. He started at you for a few moments before his gaze dropped to your extended hand. More silence stretched on, deafening, before he finally took your hand and cracked that signature Cardo-grin.

“Alright.” He said.

You were giddy for the duration of training, even when Kuruk berated you over your stance a million times in a row, because each time he started to speak you just threw Cardo a look over your shoulder with your tongue out while you mimed Kuruk’s speech. Much to your content, Cardo met you each time with a chuckle and a grin. Your friendship had mended, it seemed. You floated through the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me with some feedback! I've been so pleased with the meaningful feedback as of late, I love the interactions between readers - I'm so grateful that something I've written can bring people together in discussion! And, in case you missed it, I reward loyal readers here! @SandyRen, did you spot your surprise?!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! I honestly can't believe how many reads we've gotten :)  
> I love you all, my fellow Kylo Ren fans! Happy reading xo


	30. Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is told from more Kylo's point of view.

There seems to be no end in sight to this headache. Kylo’s been cynically suffering in silence for the past fifteen hours, having not slept the night before and spent most of his day watching you from a safe distance. Did that make him a creep? Undoubtedly. But he couldn’t find the will to care. Luckily for him, the vast majority of officers didn’t actually know what he looked like under his helmet, so going out onto the base in basic clothes and no helmet in sight, he was blissfully unrecognized. Ironic that going undercover meant taking his disguise _off._

He watched you walk into the hangar, equally proud and unnerved at how confidently you held her head high and the determined set of your jaw. He liked to think he’d taught you that. However, as you closed in on your target, he could feel the confidence slip away. The siblings regarded you as you approached and he watched the way that the brother; _Sevier_ , he thought bitterly; forwent the salute your rank deserved. He watched as this man smiled smugly at you, and Kylo’s fists clenched at his sides.

Kylo had tucked himself away in a dark corner of the hangar, hidden safely by large heaps of discarded equipment and scraps of injured space craft. Once you’d led the new pilot onboard, Kylo watched Sevier pace away from the shuttle and near the engineer station where he stood in front of a short podium and began shuffling through a data pad there. When the shuttle’s engines roared to life, Kylo took the opportunity to slip out of hiding and stride over to the podium.

He saddled his way up to the engineer as inconspicuously as he could manage, pretending to scope out the departing shuttle. Sevier didn’t miss a thing, it seemed, as he turned to pin Kylo under his scrutinizing glare.

“Who are you?” He asked bluntly, turning his torso toward Kylo, and squaring his shoulders.

Kylo hid a smirk underneath his hand, pretending to wipe at his mouth.

“Uh hi, I’m Matt. I’m a radar technician.” Kylo awkwardly stuck out his hand, slouching his shoulders a little though he nearly towered over Sevier, as he did with most people.

Sevier didn’t seem phased, though.

“Where’s your uniform, tech?” He eyed Kylo’s extended hand.

Kylo shuffled, still trying to appear smaller.

“It’s my day off.. just scoping out the TIE fighters.”

Sevier narrowed his eyes.

“Your haircut isn’t regulation.”

_This fucking prick – just give it a rest._

“Yeah, uh. They don’t really give a shit what us techs look like.” Kylo mumbled.

Sevier eyed him for another moment until seemingly losing interest.

“Right. Well, today’s a good day to ‘scope’ the TIEs.” Sevier turned his attention back to the data pad, shuffling through reports. “They’re scheduled for inspection in about twenty minutes.”

Kylo nodded, eyeing the data monitor over Sevier’s back to watch the reports ping in one by one as you entered comment’s on the new pilot’s training. He was impressed with how concise and professional you kept them, saying things like “pilot excelled in dictating controls,” and “pilot successfully completed take off troubleshooting.” Sevier noticed, then, that Kylo remained hovering behind him.

“Is there something I can help you with, _Matt_?”

Kylo ground his teeth together through a clenched jaw, attempting to think fast on his feet and respond without raising suspicion.

“Sorry, man. I’ve been zoning out today.”

Sevier seemed to believe him and reluctant to ask, but surprisingly he did just that.

“What’s up?” He asked, sounding uninterested as he turned his attention back to the reports.

Kylo was distracted by the reports as well, continuing to read your incoming commentary over his shoulder as his lips moved subconsciously to spew some nonsense to keep Sevier off his back.

“Just a rough night. I didn’t sleep and I left my room early even though I have nothing to do today. I guess I’m just roaming around trying to sort out my head…” Kylo rambled.

Sevier snorted, a gruff sound signifying male solidarity.

“Let me guess, girl troubles?” He asked, eyes still on his screen.

Kylo nodded behind him, humming a small agreement to whatever Sevier had said while his eyes absorbed your comments. You’d sent a few through that were less than glowing, pointing out a need for improvement on in-flight turns and a lack of concern for internal equilibrium. You specifically noted that take off sent several items, that were not properly strapped down, hurdling towards the back of the ship. Kylo watched as Sevier seemed to select those less than perfect marks and wipe them from the report.

_Sneaky fucker._ Kylo thought.

Suddenly, Sevier was closing the report tabs and turning towards Kylo, who shifted his gaze quickly to the TIEs being rolled in on the right side of the hangar.

“Let me offer you some free advice, tech.” Sevier started, stealing Kylo’s attention back to him.

He smirked, self-assured and motioned for Kylo to follow. Kylo did so, not at all a fan of being so obedient to this shmuck but he’d dug himself in too deep to climb out now.

“ _Girls_ are not a problem, man.” Sevier snorted, cocky smile plastered to his face.

Kylo wracked his brain. _What’s he talking about? How did the conversation get here?_

Kylo hadn’t been paying attention to his ramblings at the podium, now he came to the bitter realization that he’d unintentionally spilled more of the truth and he was about to endure the painfully awkward reality that your ex was readying to give him girl advice. Kylo wanted to simultaneously laugh in his face and also listen intently.

“Girls are simple. So tell me, is your girl mad at you?” Sevier asked, approaching one of the TIE fighters.

Kylo scoffed. “Yeah, she’s pissed.”

Sevier nodded.

“They always are, right?”

Kylo nodded, pretending to be interested in the TIE that Sevier has led them towards, peeking his head in to check out the cockpit.

“Fucking women, always mad about something. So what’s she pissed about?”

Kylo looked around the pilot seat, running a hand over the leather.

“She says I have to make up my mind…” Kylo answered vaguely, glancing back at Sevier who simply arched a brow.

“She told me to ‘figure out what I want.’” Kylo couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

Sevier snorted, clapping a hand on Kylo’s back.

“You don’t have to figure out what you want, man. She doesn’t run the fucking show. _You_ _do._ ”

Kylo swallowed, feeling oddly understood and heard.

“Exactly, _exactly!_ ” He agreed emphatically, nodding.

Sevier had this way about him, he was as charming as he was smarmy; and though Kylo still couldn’t bring himself to actually like him, he had to admit that it felt nice to be heard. To have his thoughts validated by someone who knew you, who knew what you were like, even though Sevier was unaware they’d been talking about you.

“So I’d say fuck her, man. If she’s making you choose, show her what she’s missing.” Sevier arched a brow again as he steered the two of them toward the next TIE. “You never have to choose. Have your fucking cake and eat it too.”

Kylo nodded alongside him, even found himself smiling, relieved that someone had assured him he didn’t have to change.

“So how’s the other girl?” Sevier asked, typing some report into his data pad as the pair continued on.

“Hm?” Kylo’s brows furrowed.

Sevier looked back at him and chuckled, smirking as he raked his hand through his hair.

“The other girl? She asked you to choose between them?” Sevier clarified.

Oh, Sevier must have gotten the wrong idea. Obviously, he didn’t quite get what Kylo was talking about. There was no one else, there was only you; and you’d asked him to make up his mind about what you were, the question of exclusivity was not one asked. Kylo shook his head, brows still tightly drawn together.

“No, I-” Kylo started.

“I get it, man.” Sevier interrupted, voice lower now and conspiratorial.

He leaned toward Kylo, blocking his face from the rest of the hangar with his data pad, and spoke lowly.

“Look, I always had one ‘show’ girl, you know? One that I took out, introduced to family and coworkers, and such. And that way, I could have as many other women as I wanted without risking reputation. Try it out, man. Women are desperate. She’ll settle for sharing you if she can be yours in public.”

_This fucking bastard_. Was he talking about you? Kylo’s hands balled into fists at his side, jaw set so hard he could taste blood. Luckily, before he could act on the sudden wave of rage, he caught the command shuttle landing out of the corner of his eye and backed away slowly. Sevier narrowed his eyes on him.

“Thanks for the advice…” Kylo muttered.

“I have to go… rewire a calcinator.” He mumbled as Sevier turned to acknowledge the shuttle landing as well.

“Yeah, I have to get back to work. Take my advice, Matt. You won’t regret it.” Sevier winked before turning in the direction of the new arrival.

Kylo slunk back to his place in the shadows, head spinning. _Forget what that fucker said, manipulative fucking asshole._ Kylo could see why you left him.

Kylo watched you storm off the ship, making a beeline for the exit. He could sense irritation rolling off of you from where he stayed tucked away and hidden. He wondered what had gotten you so upset, but didn’t dare reach out with the Force, you’d grown too powerful for him to slip in to your thoughts. Then, suddenly, he watched as you turned on your heel and head back into the hangar. He narrowed his eyes, focusing on where you were adjusting your course to.

You walked up to a girl wearing a medbay uniform and the two of you talked cheerfully for a moment until Kylo watched as Sevier began pacing towards you. Kylo recognized the look on his face, like a predator cornering his prey. Kylo growled under his breath, much to his own surprise. He watched as Sevier spoke for a short time before you and your friend spun away and out of the hangar bay. Kylo watched more while Sevier was joined by his sister (Kylo had quite forgotten her name) and the two of them conversed quietly for a moment or two.

He took this opportunity to sneak out of the hangar, with every intention to follow you undoubtedly to the cafeteria. Out in the hall, however, he was thwarted by General Hux. The slight ginger General blocked his path, rather annoyingly narrowing his eyes up at Kylo who sighed audibly in Hux’s face. He raised his brows as if to say: ‘What do you want?’

“Ren.” Hux folded his hands behind his back. “It’s so rare to see you out of that ridiculous helmet. What are you doing in the hangar bay…” Hux glanced at his casual clothing with a quirked brow. “In civilian attire?”

Kylo shrugged, eyeing a nosey passerby, not sure how to answer anyway.

Hux huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

“You’ve ignored my transmissions, as has Snoke.” Hux said pointedly.

Kylo nearly rolled his eyes before reminding himself that he didn’t have the privacy of his helmet to do so.

“It was at the request of the Supreme Leader.” Kylo shrugged again, desperately wishing he could disappear into thin air.

“Yes, I suppose it makes perfect sense then.” He said sarcastically before pointing a finger in Kylo’s face.

“You stole her away… she has no ‘power,’ you’ve lied to Snoke to steal her away from me. I demand to know why.”

Kylo sneered at his ignorance.

“I did no such thing. She has power, Hux. Snoke wants her trained – it just so happens that my knights are the only group of Force-sensitive warriors in the galaxy who could train her.” Kylo spoke slowly, as if he were explaining this to a youngling.

Hux grimaced, leaning in closer.

“Bullshit.” He hissed.

Kylo quirked a brow, surprised. He chewed the inside of his lip, knuckles itching to make contact with Hux’s face.

“The Supreme Leader requests your presence… I recommend you go hide inside your helmet before you face him.” Hux nearly growled.

Kylo flexed his fingers eagerly before balling them back into a prepared fist. A small clearing of someone’s throat broke the two out of their tense standoff, and Hux turned to see the woman approaching. Kylo recognized her as the sister, the girl you couldn’t stand, he watched as Hux smiled sweetly at her. He looked at her fondly, like a father should look at his daughter, though Kylo had never seen him look at you that way. He supposed that likely had something to do with your disdain for her.

“Sorry to interrupt, General.” She said quietly.

Kylo noticed her voice was high pitched and falsely sugar coated to sound sweet and innocent. Her voice sounded phony and Kylo couldn’t help but dislike her immediately.

“Ah, Bethza. How did training go, my dear?” Hux placed a hand on her shoulder. Kylo felt strangely uncomfortable and turned to leave.

“So well! I’m cleared to take control as pilot immediately.” She grinned, eyes fixed solely on the General.

Kylo had completely turned and successfully taken one step down the hall when Hux called back to him.

“We’ll continue this conversation later, Commander.” Hux called.

Kylo looked back over his shoulder in acknowledgement, glancing at the girl in doing so, her eyes were wide and fixed on him now. Once she’d caught his eye, she narrowed her snake-like eyes and grinned at him. Kylo couldn’t place why, but he didn’t like the way she looked at him. As he went along his way down the hall, he was vaguely aware of the General escorting the girl in the opposite direction. A quick glance at his data pad confirmed that he was indeed being summoned to meet with Snoke within the hour.

He would have to abandon his watch over you for the day and return to his quarters to get properly dressed. Once inside the privacy of his quarters, he stripped and prompted the room’s control panel to call Cardo. As Kylo was sliding his usual leather pants over his legs, Cardo answered, and his voice rang out in the silence of Kylo’s room.

“Cardo, are you near the cafeteria, by chance?” Kylo asked, now showing his feet into his boots.

Cardo cleared his throat. “Uh, no. I’m already training. Why, did you need me?”

The training rooms were too far away from the cafeteria, and while it would take up a little extra time, it would make more sense for Kylo to go himself. Or perhaps he just wanted to see you.

“No. I’d forgotten to alert Knight of training this evening. I’ll go myself.”

Cardo bit his tongue from mentioning how his master could simply send a message to her data pad, though he surmised Kylo was looking for an excuse to see her in person.

“Alright then, sorry I couldn’t be of assistance.” Cardo muttered gruffly, in the process of lifting a weight away from his chest.

“Oh, and I won’t be attending training. Snoke has requested my company. I’ll need you to lead; take them through the routine we’d discussed.” Kylo paused to lower his helmet over his head, his next sentence coming out heavily synthesized and steely. “And make sure Knight gets equal spar time.”

“Yes, master.” Cardo said, sitting the weight back down on the bar and wiping his neck with a towel.

Then, more hesitantly, he said quietly: “You know I’ll have to talk to her… if I lead training…”

Kylo swallowed, knowing Cardo hadn’t been exactly comfortable giving you the cold shoulder from the beginning, but also being much too obedient to question letting Kylo down. Taking a deep breath and stifling it quietly so that Cardo would not hear, Kylo made a decision. Taking into account how concerned you’d been for your friendship with Cardo and keeping in mind that Cardo hadn’t been necessarily good at making the distance seem casual, he decided to let you both breathe a bit.

“Yes, I’m aware…” A beat. “Just forget the conversation we had; you’re both free to make your own choices.” Kylo was thankful for the helmet’s synthesizer.

Cardo swallowed thickly on the other end of the line, not quite sure if this were a test.

“Uhh…” He murmured quietly.

“I have to go. Remember: the routine we discussed.” Kylo interrupted.

“Yes, master.” Cardo said quickly.

Kylo had been nervous to speak with you in the cafeteria, being that it was the first he’d spoken to you since you’d left his quarters the night before. However, as he turned the corner into the employee area, he was met with a charming picture of you, surrounded by fellow knights and your friend from the hangar. You seemed relaxed, laughing, and smiling, sitting between Ushar and Vicrul. You were so carefree he could easily slip into your head for a split second and he was surprisingly relieved to have seen what he did.

He wasn’t sure if the context of your conversation had created the image in your mind or if you’d just let your mind wander there, but in your mind’s eye, he saw himself. He was shirtless, skin glistening with what seemed like sweat or seawater, and he was covered in sand. It stuck to his abdomen and forearms, his wet curls dipped in the gritty substance. He had to admit, he looked good in your mind. While he didn’t believe he was unattractive, he certainly didn’t believe he warranted such a picture in your mind.

_She makes me look like a god_. Kylo thought as he approached the table.

He was sickly pleased with the dead silence that greeted his arrival. Your eyes seemed to meet his through the mask, he hated how you always seemed to do that.

“Knight.” He barked, speaking quickly before you could sense his hesitance. “You’re required for training.”

You simply nodded, wide eyes set on his. He stared at you for a moment, unnerved with how you could catch him in your gaze that way. Then, he shook that away and strode off. Though he knew the interaction seemed gruff, he smiled in the privacy of his helmet. Pleased with the direction your thoughts still went when it came to him, perhaps there was something he could do about the things you’d said last night. Perhaps there was a way he could “have his cake and eat it too,” as Sevier had put it.

The next several few hours were spent with Snoke over holoprojector, Hux was there too, as were Pryde and Phasma. The meeting had been boring, to say the least. Kylo’s thoughts frequently strayed back to the image he’d picked from your mind hours earlier. He entertained himself with the godlike image you’d created of him. Entertained the possible implications. He’d entertained it too many times, toying with it, adding onto the fantasy. 

He’d imagined you, littler rivers of seawater skimming down your exposed skin, nipples perky and taught underneath a drenched white top. He imagined the way the sunlight danced in your wet hair, the way he wanted to lace his fingers in it and caress the nape of your neck. He imagined laying you down in sand, crashing waves spraying the sides of your faces while his tongue explored yours under a warm sunny day. He imagined the way your lips would taste like a sweet forbidden fruit, now laced with notes of salty spray.

He’d lay his palms flat against your curves and feel gooseflesh rise in the wake of his touches, he could taste your sweet moans fall across his tongue. You’d skate your fingertips against his bare chest, your tiny tongue darting out to lick the salt from his pulse. He’d groan and claw at your thighs, flipping onto his back and dragging you to straddle his waist, the two of you closer to the waves now. He’d glance to the side and see the indentation of your perfect heart-shaped ass in the sand where you’d been underneath him moments ago.

Then, a wave would smack him in the face, and you’d laugh. He’d have no choice but to laugh with you, sickeningly giddy at the sound of your little giggles. You’d lean in close to him, gently sweeping a wet strand of hair out of his eyes while his heart hammered in his chest. He’d drag your face down to his, lips ghosting over yours as he’d press his needy erection between your legs.

“Can you feel how badly I need you, baby girl?” He’d ask, dark eyes boring into yours.

He’d drink in that little gasp which loosed from your lungs, cock twitching beneath you, begging to be touched.

“You want me to touch you, Daddy?” You’d ask innocently, your eyes wide as you’d bite your lip just how he liked.

He could hear himself moan already, desperate for you. He’d arch his back, thrust his hips up into you again, forcing you to feel the evidence confined by a layer of wet fabric.

“You know I do, baby girl.” He’d whisper.

Your hand would trail down his chest, tiny things circling his wrists and bringing them up over his head. He could easily fight you, but he wouldn’t want to. He’d interlock his hands behind his head while you made quick work of his buckle and zipper. He’d try to slow his breathing beneath you, completely and utterly at your mercy. You’d pull his length free and wrap your tiny hand around his base. Gods, he could imagine it; the little flood of precum that would weep from his tip and you’d extend that little pink tongue to sweep across and taste –

“Commander?” Kylo startled awake at the sound of his name.

His lack of sleep had caught up with him and he’d drifted off in the middle of the meeting. The room looked to him expectantly, and Kylo’s hand nearly flew to his crotch under the table, fearing they’d see, and they’d all know; but they just continued to look at him. Pryde said his name once more and Kylo’s attention flickered to him.

“How do you feel about Hux’s plan?” He asked, surely for the second time now.

Hopefully Hux had rambled long enough and the group was still on the topic Kylo had fallen asleep to.

“I think it’s unwise to attack the Resistance at this time.” Kylo answered hesitantly, looking to the table for their reaction.

Snoke nodded gravely, gaze going back to the General and Kylo breathed a little easier now, seeming to have dodged a bullet.

“If we wait to attack first, then we can be sure the droid will find its way to the Resistance before we can locate it. In their hands, it will undoubtedly be much harder to acquire.”

Kylo scoffed, remembering why he nodded off in the first place.

“Hux, if we attack before StarKiller is ready, we invite unnecessary risks. I have one of my knights working to locate the droid alongside your team, I’m confident we’ll have news soon.”

Hux looked as if he might combust.

Snoke looked back to Kylo, his hologram leaning closer.

“Not Vicrul, I hope?” He asked warily.

Kylo muffled a chuckle under the helmet’s synth.

“No, Supreme Leader. I’ve got Ushar on it.”

Snoke nodded, pleased.

Snoke dismissed the meeting minutes later and Kylo checked the time to find he might have a moment to catch the end of training. Hux came scurrying after him in the hall, and Kylo rolled his eyes under the helmet.

“Ren, it wouldn’t hurt to have your support for once, you’re aware.” Hux grumbled stiffly at his side.

“I can’t support poor decisions, General.” Kylo responded, unimpressed.

Hux kept up with him in the hall.

“It isn’t unwise. It’s seeming unlikely our spies will locate the droid, and I’m unsure what your knights are capable of doing while posted here. We need eyes on the ground for this. The only course of action is to assume the enemy has secured the map and therefore we should strike now.”

“I’m not sure why you’re bothering with me, Snoke’s decision has been made.” Kylo deterred, picking up his pace as he neared the training area.

“We both know you’re capable of swaying the Supreme Leader’s decisions.” Hux accused, nearly jogging to keep up.

Kylo stopped short of the training room, turning on the slight General on his heels.

“Snoke trusts my judgment. That’s not to insinuate that I’m capable of changing his mind. Is the Supreme Leader aware that you believe his will is so easily bent? Or do you hold me in such high esteem to assume I can charm the Supreme Leader of the galaxy?”

Kylo watched Hux flounder, at a loss for what to say.

Unfortunately, that victory was short lived as it seemed Hux had slowed him down enough to miss the final moments of training, and his knights spilled from the training room and into the hall. The Commander and General had been on the other end of the hall, near the corner where they stood unnoticed by the knights as they dispersed. Kylo watched silently as Cardo and yourself strode from the room, acting chummy and giggly as you both turned in the other direction.

Vaguely, Kylo could make out your voice from where he stood.

“Yeah, well we can do that in my room. I’ve got a bit of whiskey, if you’re game?”

Kylo’s head swam as he heard Cardo mumble something about inviting Vicrul, and you’d giggled loudly saying how you’d never leave him out of a party. So that was that; you didn’t seem to need any time or help making up _your_ mind. Here, Kylo had been convincing himself all evening that you were still interested, but he couldn’t argue with the facts as you nearly skipped your way to a threesome with his knights. He was shaking with rage, needing to slink away and destroy something.

Hux had been eyeing your interaction with your fellow knight as well, sad he’d lost you to savages. He felt as if you’d gone off and joined the Resistance. Damn nearing traitorous.

“You ruined my daughter, Ren.” Hux hissed.

Kylo bit his tongue, salt-iron blood filling his mouth. He swallowed it back to speak.

“You’re right, Hux. I fucking ruined your daughter.” He spat bitterly as he stormed off in direction of his quarters.

Kylo’s head swam with your words for hours. The one thing he could agree with was the whiskey part, having found a bottle of his own in his office upon arriving at his quarters. He drank himself numb for hours, even drunkenly sending a transmission to Vicrul, spewing some bullshit asking about a pair of shoes he’d not seen since they’d left the Finalizer. Of course, Vicrul didn’t respond.

_Probably too busy fucking my girl to answer his fucking phone._

And then, as if conjured from his imagination, Kylo could hear exaggerated female moans seeping through the steel walls. For a moment he thought he’d been hearing things, but a steady consistent thumping came from the wall connected to Kylo’s and it became clear. Those ingenuine squeals and moans were coming from Hux’s quarter’s where he must have been fucking some whore. Kylo suddenly felt nauseous and threw an empty glass at the far wall of his quarter. Now was as good a time as any to forgo the glass altogether and drink straight from the bottle.

How he wished he could claw his eardrums out. He considered taking a bath, slipping beneath the water, and drowning himself rather than be subject to Hux’s sexual escapades for the evening. He was consoled for a few moments as he thought back to the times he’d made you scream his name undoubtedly loud enough for your father to hear through the walls, and though the thought initially comforted him he now found himself near tears at the thought of you.

Thankfully, a brisk knocking on his door would soon occupy his attention. He staggered towards the late-night visitor, eager to redirect his thoughts elsewhere. Ushar was on the other side of the door, eyes wide as he smirked at Kylo.

“Our favorite General sounds like he’s having the best luck he’s had in years.” Ushar chuckled, stepping inside and cautiously taking note of Kylo’s haphazard appearance.

Kylo had discarded his shirt long ago, skin burning and itching; and he now clung to a nearly empty bottle of caramel colored liquor. Though the bottle didn’t quite give away his inebriation as much as the stench and the way he staggered as he fell back against a wall. Ushar shuffled further into the room, uncomfortable with how unkempt and unhindered his master seemed to be at the moment. He glanced down as his boots crunched over a pile of scattered, broken glass near the left side of the room. Ushar’s brows knit together in concern.

“What’d you need, _brother_?” Kylo slurred.

Ushar winced at the term ‘brother’ which Kylo rarely, if ever, used to refer to the other knights. Suddenly, he deliberated telling Kylo, though he knew that the news was time sensitive. His master didn’t seem in any state to go rushing off anywhere at the moment. Kylo sensed this hesitation, eyes narrowing on Ushar.

“What’d you want.” Kylo reiterated, clearly losing patience.

“I just picked up on a transmission between FN-2187 and what I think could potentially be a Resistance member. It mentions coordinates and the droid.”

Kylo staggered up; grabbing the bottle and dropping it unceremoniously in the wastebasket while he began scooping clothing off the shelves and into a bag. His eyes were a little wild; eagerly, and haphazardly ‘packing’ a bag.

“Send word to my shuttle pilot, I want that pilot here as soon as possible.” Kylo slurred, steadying himself against the shelf.

Ushar stammered.

“Uh, M-Master, wouldn’t you rather have us assist you? I can collect the other knights–”

“ _No._ ” Kylo interrupted. “No, leave them be. I have a fucking shuttle, send the pilot to me.”

Ushar pulled his data pad from his belt, sending the request to the officer who’d recently taken the position. Once the message had been sent, he hovered, not sure if he could be of more use or potentially convince Kylo to at the very least allow him to accompany. Kylo glanced up at him and barked.

“ _Dismissed._ ”

Kylo sobered up quickly, getting redressed and packing a small bag while waiting for the pilot to arrive, though he hadn’t been waiting long when he heard a soft knock on his door. Luckily, Hux’s quarter’s had gone quiet some time ago, so he’d been able to hear her knock. He palmed the panel, grabbing his back and sliding it across the floor towards her as she hesitantly stepped inside the room.

“Back up, I’m coming out – no need to come inside.” Kylo said gruffly underneath his helmet.

“Sorry, Commander.” She squeaked quietly.

Gods, that fake sugary voice. Kylo rolled his eyes, alcohol still swimming in his veins.

“You got here quickly.” He mused, she must have run from Sector A to make it here in this time.

“I’m always at you complete disposal, Commander.” She cooed.

Gods, her flirtation was annoying. He glanced at her empty hands.

“No bag?” He grunted.

“I don’t need one. I’ve taken the liberty of packing and stowing a bag on the shuttle in the event of an emer–”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Kudos to you, kid.” He said quickly.

“Grab my bag.” He ordered, gliding past her and into the hall.

She looked back at him incredulously.

“Me?” She asked, high pitched voice all falsely innocent and child-like.

Kylo really could vomit right now.

“Yes. Who else?” Kylo crossed his arms impatiently.

She looked around. “I don’t know, I thought you had people for that or something.”

Clearly she wasn’t the kind of girl who was used to getting her hands dirty. Entitled brat.

Kylo sighed impatiently. “I do. _You._ ” He spat.

“Do not question me again, officer.” He growled as he turned away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves!
> 
> Did any of my fellow rats catch the SNL references?? I love Matt! 
> 
> As always, I've been so floored by the amount of love I've received for this fanfic - Your comments and discussions give me life! Let me know what you've all thought about this chapter. Also, if anyone follows me on Tik Tok (@MaskHumanity), I'm going to upload a video for this chapter, or at the very least I'm going to try. I suck at using social media. I'll be posting another chapter very soon, so stay tuned!! xo


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